Ufffff the similarity is uncanny, H keeps telling me he hasn't spent any quality time with the family, they never used to hug when they met each other and only started that recently after I came in the picture, that he never called his parents or sister for months when he was in Hawaii and neither did they call him .... but now that I'm in the picture they all throw a fit if we don't show up every week (they live like 50 mins away).
Totally agree, jealousy makes people turn into mindless bullies, bitter and just horrible overall.
Sadly, my SIL used to be great, she's done a lot for me... until A year into my marriage... but their mother just made his siblings against me like im some evil witch that's cast some sort of love spell on her son... it's insane. @mamaspraggie
Ugh yes, that's exactly how it was before we got married. They never hugged but after we got together they were constantly all over him. They always wanted him to do things with them and get away from me whenever I was over, but when he was home alone with them they paid no attention. It drove me CRAZY and him too.
He used to practically be their slave and would do everything for everyone, but when we got together he stopped and that's what really made them not like me. He finally manned up and stood up to his family right before he shipped to basic training though. They said they didn't want me there to say goodbye to him because it was a "family thing" and that's when he lost it. He told them if I wasn't there, then no one would be, and then told them he wanted to marry me lol.
I also confronted my MIL about how horribly she treated me when we were just dating, and made her apologize pretty much. She no longer crosses me, just keeps to herself lol.
I don't think anyone is handling themselves in a mature manner, @mamaspraggie. I can't remember exactly, but aren't you also under 21?
You are right, pregnancy - and "growing up," by the way - is not a competition, so I suggest you stop thinking everyone is trying to steal your spotlight. So you got knocked up first - umm, okay?? So?? I can tell you that my baby is not less important to me because there are thousands of other fetuses closer to birth, not to mention the billions of humans who have already been born... WTF? I guarantee these people you think are competing with you are excited for their own actual babies, which has nothing to do with you.
Sucks that your SIL chose a deadbeat, but that's her row to hoe now.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
@mamaspraggie : I agree with @GlitterFish. I can practically guarantee that pregnant strangers are not "side eyeing" your belly and competing with you. If anything they're thinking "hey another pregnant lady! I wonder where she got that cute maternity dress. I could use some new maternity clothes... which reminds me, I need to buy some clothes for the baby... and figure out where to put the crib... and..."
People don't pay attention to you nearly as much as you think they do (general you, not you personally).
@GlitterFish I don't think everyone is trying to steal my spotlight, only my SIL because she LITERALLY tried to do just that, and even made remarks about it. It's not about who got "knocked up first" it was about her irresponsibly doing something just to bring me down. Pretty sure that would piss off anyone, not just me.
The girl on FB that copies me constantly does in fact do it to copy me, and she's even been confronted about it by people. But that's the type of person she is.
Im confused though, I don't understand how I'm not being mature in these situations? I never went to that girl and called her out for anything, others did. It was just an observation I made. I still post congratulations to her on all of her posts because I try to be friendly. I didn't push away my SIL, I invited her in and tried to help her and even offered to buy her baby things, only to be pushed away by her in the end. I've just given up and it's better to steer clear of that drama and pretend to be nice until she gets it together. Yes she chose a deadbeat, but we don't give her crap for it, and are only trying to steer her away from him but it's been frustrating because she refuses to listen to anyone.
Im paranoid, it's literally a disorder that runs in my family. I said that I feel crazy for thinking everyone side eyes me, and I asked to see if it was just my paranoia or if it's something other women feel too. All you have to say is no that's not normal, not lash out at me. That's all I need to hear. Thank you @GreenBean for at least putting it in a nicer way.
Also, age has nothing to do with maturity. I've met 11 year olds who are more mature than 45 year olds. I may only be a few years older than my SIL, but where we are in life and how we handle situations is vastly different. Using someone's age to justify their maturity is an old argument that needs to die off.
I have to say @mamaspraggie that your admission of paranoia disorder makes me question your perception. Especially in regards to the FB friend. I am highly doubtful she went and got a blood test done just to reveal the sex of her baby and only because you did...
And maybe this belong on UO but I don't understand why you need 'support' (although it sounds like you want them to celebrate your pregnancy) from FB friends because your in-laws are a little--understandably--preoccupied with the messy situation with their daughter.
BFP May 2013 - MMC at 8 weeks BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015 BFP November 2016 - pending...
"So I guess a WTF for me is, why does it seem like so many pregnant women want to compete? Why can't we all just be happy for each other! I Feel like I might be the only one who notices that. It's so childish to me. Does anyone else notice this, or am I just crazy?"
read again please @PurplePumpernickel i asked if I was just being crazy, not a statement of fact. I also didn't say EVERY woman. Not like it's one giant competition. But, obviously with my examples, I had experiences with people that made me notice some women do act like that, which made me paranoid to think most do. All I needed was a yes or no if I'm just being crazy.
@yellow1daisy the girl and I on Facebook have mutual friends, and I've had people tell me that's what she did. I didn't confront her about it, just drew the conclusion.
I shouldve cleared that up about the support thing. I live 8 hours away from my family and friends because of the military, and I know absolutely no one where I live currently. I get "support" because it gets my mind off of everything. Also the only communication I have with the majority of my side of the family is through FB, along with my friends. My parents never answer my phone calls or texts because they work so much, so seeing photos or statuses on FB is how they get updates from me.
@mamaspraggie I'm sorry you're pregnancy is being overshadowed by your AW SIL. When we announced our pregnancy in December my SIL's first response was "well... that sucks because baby P isn't going to get all the attention for very long" I was like really? She is going to get a cousin that will only be 9 months apart from her. DH straight up called her selfish in front of everyone. She was also annoyed that her baby came out looking like her H and not her and made it clear to him she was unhappy about it. Oh SIL's.... I have 2 of them and they both can be childish and annoying.
I hope things turn around for you and you can enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy with little to no drama.
@mamaspraggie I don't think anyone is trying to kick you while your down, but I will say I do think your OP along with some of the follow-ups came across like you were thinking everyone should be fawning all over you and now that that's not happening because of other situations, you're taking it personal. It sounds to me like your SIL needs the help right now. I'm not saying that you don't, too, but right now she's in a very scary situation. I think that it's natural that her parents are more concerned with her right now.
As for your friends, I really think it's time to step back and look at things from a new perspective. I highly doubt people are doing these things just to overstep you. I definitely know for a fact strangers on the street aren't looking at you that way. Not to be mean, but you're not that important, man.
I also don't think anyone here is trying to be mean or say anything else short of yeah, you're not looking at this with clear eyes. No one here knows you. We have no preconceived notions about you or your situation. We solely are relying on the words you type to gather information to give you an answer. The responses you are getting are based on that and no one is out here trying to attack you.
@Poppyseed72017 thank you for understanding. People that haven't dealt with it don't understand and just judge from the outside. It's the worst feeling having someone try to hurt you like that.
One last thought. @mamaspraggie If you truly do have a diagnosed paranoia disorder, it may be time to talk to your doctor about it. Mental disorders can be scary, but they're especially scary during pregnancy and can be amplified. Your doctor should be able to help you navigate this better and definitely needs to know regardless.
@mamaspraggie maybe just stop posting about your pregnancy on Facebook? If you really need "support" (not sure what kind of support comments/likes on FB are giving you - but that's not the point), then reach out individually via text/calls to those people supporting you.
"So I guess a WTF for me is, why does it seem like so many pregnant women want to compete? Why can't we all just be happy for each other! I Feel like I might be the only one who notices that. It's so childish to me. Does anyone else notice this, or am I just crazy?"
I wouldn't use the word "crazy" but I haven't felt like this at all. I honestly have felt like I'm part of a "sisterhood" with other pregnant ladies and new moms (yes I realize how cheesy that sounds) and I've been amazed by the amount of support I've gotten from women I barely know (on this board and IRL). I'm genuinely sorry this hasn't been how you're feeling and I hope you can build up a good support system.
"So I guess a WTF for me is, why does it seem like so many pregnant women want to compete? Why can't we all just be happy for each other! I Feel like I might be the only one who notices that. It's so childish to me. Does anyone else notice this, or am I just crazy?"
I wouldn't use the word "crazy" but I haven't felt like this at all. I honestly have felt like I'm part of a "sisterhood" with other pregnant ladies and new moms (yes I realize how cheesy that sounds) and I've been amazed by the amount of support I've gotten from women I barely know (on this board and IRL). I'm genuinely sorry this hasn't been how you're feeling and I hope you can build up a good support system.
@PurplePoppy424 i definitely made it sound like that but it's not what I meant at all. I typed all of that up at 2 am last night, so I know some things didn't come across right. It's more of a disappointment thing than anything else, but I'm not thinking on it constantly. She needs help and I've offered her help. I'm not holding a grudge over her. It's just a frustrating situation that's all.
Im standing by what I said about the one friend on FB copying me, only because I have people telling me she is. It doesn't really bother me to the point where it keeps me up at night. It's just an annoying thing I see every once in awhile.
As as far as the women on the street, I understand that my thoughts were misguided. I've been told enough times now. But when people delegitimize everything I say simply because I mentioned my mental health problem, which isn't even close to being super serious, just isn't fair. My paranoia is so mild. It only happens if something triggers it. Like the girl on FB and my SIL. It's not like I sit around coming up with this stuff. If one person does it to me, my mind starts to wander and think that others might be doing it too. And all I need is an it's ok you don't have to feel that way, sort of thing. Not telling me I'm a horrible person for thinking something that I can't prevent. That's all.
the only one that seemed truly and blatantly rude was GlitterFish. Everyone else was civil and my responses are just to defend my case or clear things up. I'd rather people come to me with questions than make sudden irrational assumptions about me.
"So I guess a WTF for me is, why does it seem like so many pregnant women want to compete? Why can't we all just be happy for each other! I Feel like I might be the only one who notices that. It's so childish to me. Does anyone else notice this, or am I just crazy?"
I wouldn't use the word "crazy" but I haven't felt like this at all. I honestly have felt like I'm part of a "sisterhood" with other pregnant ladies and new moms (yes I realize how cheesy that sounds) and I've been amazed by the amount of support I've gotten from women I barely know (on this board and IRL). I'm genuinely sorry this hasn't been how you're feeling and I hope you can build up a good support system.
Ditto!
+1 on this! I look at pregnant women and smile because we're in it together.
Also, I have to agree that your ILs are paying more attention to their own daughter because it's their daughter and a messy situation. I think that's normal. My mom and I were talking and she is very protective over me when faced with dealing with my ILs because I'm her daughter. She said that flat out she wouldn't feel the same connection if/when my brother gets married/is having a baby because it's her son and she doesn't have the same connection to the mother of his future children. I know this isn't the situation for every family, but I can say that I've seen this be the case, so I wouldn't feel too bad about it. She will love my brother's child, but she can't be as involved as if it were her own daughter if that makes sense.
Pregnancy is an exciting time, but you don't need everyone cheering for you or validating your right to be happy. Be your own excitement! I hope gets better girl!
@PurplePoppy424 I do have a doctor that I speak to regularly, but some things can't be cleared up with her. It made more sense for me to have a consensus from other people.
@Rae1 everyone is busy with their own lives, and it's not like anyone will drive 8 hours to hang out with me. I post to update people with how I'm doing, which sometimes spurs a message here and there. No one goes out of their way to talk to me, so a little comment or like just lets me know they thought of me at least so I don't feel so alone.
Thank you @GreenBeanI know crazy isn't a great word but I definitely feel that way sometimes lol. After all this ridiculousness I hope it can calm down and I get support instead of judgement. That's all I really came here for but I'm thinking about just disappearing again since I've seemed to make so many people angry
@PurplePoppy424 i definitely made it sound like that but it's not what I meant at all. I typed all of that up at 2 am last night, so I know some things didn't come across right. It's more of a disappointment thing than anything else, but I'm not thinking on it constantly. She needs help and I've offered her help. I'm not holding a grudge over her. It's just a frustrating situation that's all.
Im standing by what I said about the one friend on FB copying me, only because I have people telling me she is. It doesn't really bother me to the point where it keeps me up at night. It's just an annoying thing I see every once in awhile.
As as far as the women on the street, I understand that my thoughts were misguided. I've been told enough times now. But when people delegitimize everything I say simply because I mentioned my mental health problem, which isn't even close to being super serious, just isn't fair. My paranoia is so mild. It only happens if something triggers it. Like the girl on FB and my SIL. It's not like I sit around coming up with this stuff. If one person does it to me, my mind starts to wander and think that others might be doing it too. And all I need is an it's ok you don't have to feel that way, sort of thing. Not telling me I'm a horrible person for thinking something that I can't prevent. That's all.
the only one that seemed truly and blatantly rude was GlitterFish. Everyone else was civil and my responses are just to defend my case or clear things up. I'd rather people come to me with questions than make sudden irrational assumptions about me.
I definitely didn't see your post, as well as your back and forth with @BusyZee over your "jealous" SIL, as really asking for advice if you are correct in your thinking. It came across as a denouncement of all these pregnant women who are competitive, when that's the way you sound in your posts, IMO. I don't need to "come to you with questions" - I can respond to your posts at face value.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
My WTF goes to the nurse who took my weight at my OB appointment and for some reason thought I gained 14 pounds from my last visit on Jan 31. She proceeded to ask me if I felt heavy. I told her just my belly. She also told me to stay away from soda, which I don't drink except on occasion. I had one coke in all of February. She proceeded to tell me to start walking daily. I workout at the gym 3-4 days a week and am active around the house as well as take occasional walks. She then began to tell me about staying away from junk food and fast food. She just kept staring me up and down! I really don't think I look heavy. I've gained 14 lbs total from my very first visit. Which I thought wasn't too bad at this point. I'm currently a day away from 23 weeks. I just starting working out again late January and my eating has become a lot more regular. I had pretty severe m/s for 3 months and had a difficult time getting and staying hydrated. When my OB came in she looked at the nurses chart notes and said "This has to be a mistake!" she looked back and realized the mistake. She told me not to worry she is glad my m/s is gone and that my weight gain has been more than likely because I can keep my food down and I am now able to stay hydrated and baby is growing well.
@mamaspraggie don't feel alone! There is so much going on in your life right now that once you start preparing for that you will realize you have so much to do and so little time for people! You have your husband and very soon you will have a baby!!!
and like I said I think everyone has been majorly nice to me much more since they can see I'm pregnant. So don't over think it and don't let it take over your joys. Just try to be carefree and nice to people and the niceness will come back to you, it's inevitable!
i was really missing all my friends and family (they live on the other side of world!) but now H and I have so much to do that I honestly think it's a blessing to have some privacy and get stuff done aswell! Just take care of yourself and don't focus on the unnecessary stuff.
Sorry you took it that way @GlitterFish not sure where you got me denouncing people, but sorry. You can respond to it with whatever intent you want, but the way you worded things sounded like a serious personal attack on me for no reason.
I posted my story on the WTF page because I thought it was interesting and a WTF, but ended it with a question that related to it in a way.
I'm sorry for talking to someone about how ridiculous in laws can be, because that's what she decided to respond to and talk to me about. She didn't respond to the question and we got off subject, that's all.
Once again, I'm sorry I offended you so deeply with my post.
Thank you you everyone else that's wishing me better times though, I really appreciate it.
- What was the point in bringing up that you have paranoia disorder, if you then recant and say it's not that bad and doesn't cause issues? You brought it up saying 'maybe this is why I feel this way'. Someone said 'yea maybe that's it' and now you're saying your concerns are being discounted because of it? I am confused.
- If you want to have better relationships with these people, maybe reach out via calls/texts and ask about their lives to build relationships. They will naturally return and ask about yours and you can discuss pregnancy. That seems healthier to me than posting crap on Facebook and waiting for people to comment/message you about it.
@Rae1 I took it as being rude, but again I'll say sorry if I'm wrong about that.
Thats not not what I meant by that. Yes, my paranoia can be a factor, but saying that pretty much everything I've said up to this point is BS just isn't fair. That's what I meant by delagitimatizing what I say. Not saying that it's not allowed to be a factor in how I felt. But it bothers me when all of a sudden EVERYTHING I say is false just because of my paranoia.
I tried reaching out to people. Like I said, they're too busy with their own lives. I also said my parents never answer calls or texts. Don't think I haven't tried to reach out to people. I don't expect it to understand my situation since you aren't in it.
@Rae1 I took it as being rude, but again I'll say sorry if I'm wrong about that.
Thats not not what I meant by that. Yes, my paranoia can be a factor, but saying that pretty much everything I've said up to this point is BS just isn't fair. That's what I meant by delagitimatizing what I say. Not saying that it's not allowed to be a factor in how I felt. But it bothers me when all of a sudden EVERYTHING I say is false just because of my paranoia.
I tried reaching out to people. Like I said, they're too busy with their own lives. I also said my parents never answer calls or texts. Don't think I haven't tried to reach out to people. I don't expect it to understand my situation since you aren't in it.
@mamaspraggie I don't understand what is "not fair" about someone on facebook posting similar pregnancy related facebook posts after you do. Who cares? How does that affect your life at all? I think this is why you're maturity what brought into question.
@Rae1 what? I literally said her posting things doesn't bother me as much as everyone is making it sound. I'm not even sure why that's brought up right now because I never mentioned that in my reply? i said it's not fair to say because I have some mental problems then I'm basically a crazy person who has no idea what she's talking about.
My WTF is that the critter saga in our house continues.
We had thought the animals (which DH now insists was a bird and one or more stray cats) had left before we got home. But something keeps getting in the house. DH thought he figured out how it was getting in and blocked it up yesterday. But we woke up this morning to more poop in the living room.
DH cannot figure out another way it's getting in. And now we are wondering if a cat is just hiding in our house full time. But then what is it eating?
@Twinkiedoll lollll I'm sorry your going through this... that's so crazy! Please get these animals out! We had a bird stuck in our dryer once! Do you have a chimney?
@Rae1 what? I literally said her posting things doesn't bother me as much as everyone is making it sound. I'm not even sure why that's brought up right now because I never mentioned that in my reply? i said it's not fair to say because I have some mental problems then I'm basically a crazy person who has no idea what she's talking about.
Good Lord I think I just saw my brain from rolling my eyes so hard.
@mamaspraggie I hate to blunt but if your family is too busy working that they can't send you a text to ask how you are but can get on facebook long enough to check your updates, they don't care. As for your in laws, they have an 18 year old pregnant jobless daughter in an awful situation that is a little more important than your pregnancy. I'm not saying your pregnancy isnt important but your married and you have a job, do I have that right? I think if you don't have support from your family, you should get support from your DH. I'm 8 hours away from my family and I don't talk to them everyday but for every doctor appt I send them a quick text. I don't put it on facebook for the world to see, you should also want to make them feel special for actually getting a personal update from you rather than seeing it on facebook with the rest of everyone else.
@Rae1 that's fine just don't worry about it anymore. I've already decided I'm not sticking around here. I don't feel welcome at all. Just this thread alone has stressed me out so much to where I'm in tears I feel like no one is understanding what I'm trying to say, and it overall feels like no one wants me here.
Like you said, FB isn't giving me the support I need, so I thought I could come back to this app and join a nice community again and ask questions and get support. I'm so disappointed.... I'll just delete the app and find something else.
I hope everyone has healthy babies though and wish everyone the best of luck with their little ones ❤️
*edited because half of it got deleted for some reason*
@Rae1 that's fine just don't worry about it anymore. I've already decided I'm not sticking around here. I don't feel welcome at all. Just this thread alone has stressed me out so much to where I'm in tears I feel like no one is understanding what I'm trying to say, and it overall feels like no one wants me here.
Like you said, FB isn't giving me the support I need, so I thought I could come back to this app and join a nice community again and ask questions and get support. I'm so disappointed.... I'll just delete the app and find something else.
I hope everyone has healthy babies though and wish everyone the best of luck with their little ones ❤️
*edited because half of it got deleted for some reason*
The majority of us have already been hanging out for months, so sorry your pregnancy didn't instantly become the center of the community.... That's a real WTF for Thursday.
ETA: I suspect nobody in the universe can provide you all the attention/admiration you require. You would be well served to start working on this in therapy now, especially with a deployed husband.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
Why the hell do you think I wanted to be center of the community?!!? All I did was share my story and everyone blew up on me! I never tried to take away from anyone else posting here!! Ugh.
@mamaspraggie This community offers lots of support. Again, I think you're confusing attention for support. Nobody here is going to throw you a pity party because you ILs aren't giving you the attention you want/need.
Re: WTF Wednesday 3/8
Totally agree, jealousy makes people turn into mindless bullies, bitter and just horrible overall.
Sadly, my SIL used to be great, she's done a lot for me... until A year into my marriage... but their mother just made his siblings against me like im some evil witch that's cast some sort of love spell on her son... it's insane. @mamaspraggie
He used to practically be their slave and would do everything for everyone, but when we got together he stopped and that's what really made them not like me. He finally manned up and stood up to his family right before he shipped to basic training though. They said they didn't want me there to say goodbye to him because it was a "family thing" and that's when he lost it. He told them if I wasn't there, then no one would be, and then told them he wanted to marry me lol.
I also confronted my MIL about how horribly she treated me when we were just dating, and made her apologize pretty much. She no longer crosses me, just keeps to herself lol.
You are right, pregnancy - and "growing up," by the way - is not a competition, so I suggest you stop thinking everyone is trying to steal your spotlight.
So you got knocked up first - umm, okay?? So??
I can tell you that my baby is not less important to me because there are thousands of other fetuses closer to birth, not to mention the billions of humans who have already been born... WTF? I guarantee these people you think are competing with you are excited for their own actual babies, which has nothing to do with you.
Sucks that your SIL chose a deadbeat, but that's her row to hoe now.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
People don't pay attention to you nearly as much as you think they do (general you, not you personally).
The girl on FB that copies me constantly does in fact do it to copy me, and she's even been confronted about it by people. But that's the type of person she is.
Im confused though, I don't understand how I'm not being mature in these situations? I never went to that girl and called her out for anything, others did. It was just an observation I made. I still post congratulations to her on all of her posts because I try to be friendly. I didn't push away my SIL, I invited her in and tried to help her and even offered to buy her baby things, only to be pushed away by her in the end. I've just given up and it's better to steer clear of that drama and pretend to be nice until she gets it together. Yes she chose a deadbeat, but we don't give her crap for it, and are only trying to steer her away from him but it's been frustrating because she refuses to listen to anyone.
Im paranoid, it's literally a disorder that runs in my family. I said that I feel crazy for thinking everyone side eyes me, and I asked to see if it was just my paranoia or if it's something other women feel too. All you have to say is no that's not normal, not lash out at me. That's all I need to hear. Thank you @GreenBean for at least putting it in a nicer way.
And maybe this belong on UO but I don't understand why you need 'support' (although it sounds like you want them to celebrate your pregnancy) from FB friends because your in-laws are a little--understandably--preoccupied with the messy situation with their daughter.
BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks
BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks
BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks
BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015
BFP November 2016 - pending...
read again please @PurplePumpernickel
i asked if I was just being crazy, not a statement of fact. I also didn't say EVERY woman. Not like it's one giant competition. But, obviously with my examples, I had experiences with people that made me notice some women do act like that, which made me paranoid to think most do. All I needed was a yes or no if I'm just being crazy.
the girl and I on Facebook have mutual friends, and I've had people tell me that's what she did. I didn't confront her about it, just drew the conclusion.
I shouldve cleared that up about the support thing. I live 8 hours away from my family and friends because of the military, and I know absolutely no one where I live currently. I get "support" because it gets my mind off of everything. Also the only communication I have with the majority of my side of the family is through FB, along with my friends. My parents never answer my phone calls or texts because they work so much, so seeing photos or statuses on FB is how they get updates from me.
I hope things turn around for you and you can enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy with little to no drama.
As for your friends, I really think it's time to step back and look at things from a new perspective. I highly doubt people are doing these things just to overstep you. I definitely know for a fact strangers on the street aren't looking at you that way. Not to be mean, but you're not that important, man.
I also don't think anyone here is trying to be mean or say anything else short of yeah, you're not looking at this with clear eyes. No one here knows you. We have no preconceived notions about you or your situation. We solely are relying on the words you type to gather information to give you an answer. The responses you are getting are based on that and no one is out here trying to attack you.
Married: 6/2016
TTC:6/2016
BFP: 11/22/2016 | EDD: 7/29/2017
i definitely made it sound like that but it's not what I meant at all. I typed all of that up at 2 am last night, so I know some things didn't come across right. It's more of a disappointment thing than anything else, but I'm not thinking on it constantly. She needs help and I've offered her help. I'm not holding a grudge over her. It's just a frustrating situation that's all.
Im standing by what I said about the one friend on FB copying me, only because I have people telling me she is. It doesn't really bother me to the point where it keeps me up at night. It's just an annoying thing I see every once in awhile.
As as far as the women on the street, I understand that my thoughts were misguided. I've been told enough times now. But when people delegitimize everything I say simply because I mentioned my mental health problem, which isn't even close to being super serious, just isn't fair. My paranoia is so mild. It only happens if something triggers it. Like the girl on FB and my SIL. It's not like I sit around coming up with this stuff. If one person does it to me, my mind starts to wander and think that others might be doing it too. And all I need is an it's ok you don't have to feel that way, sort of thing. Not telling me I'm a horrible person for thinking something that I can't prevent. That's all.
the only one that seemed truly and blatantly rude was GlitterFish. Everyone else was civil and my responses are just to defend my case or clear things up. I'd rather people come to me with questions than make sudden irrational assumptions about me.
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
Pregnancy is an exciting time, but you don't need everyone cheering for you or validating your right to be happy. Be your own excitement! I hope gets better girl!
edit to tag @mamaspraggie
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
@Rae1 everyone is busy with their own lives, and it's not like anyone will drive 8 hours to hang out with me. I post to update people with how I'm doing, which sometimes spurs a message here and there. No one goes out of their way to talk to me, so a little comment or like just lets me know they thought of me at least so I don't feel so alone.
Thank you @GreenBeanI know crazy isn't a great word but I definitely feel that way sometimes lol. After all this ridiculousness I hope it can calm down and I get support instead of judgement. That's all I really came here for but I'm thinking about just disappearing again since I've seemed to make so many people angry
I definitely didn't see your post, as well as your back and forth with @BusyZee over your "jealous" SIL, as really asking for advice if you are correct in your thinking. It came across as a denouncement of all these pregnant women who are competitive, when that's the way you sound in your posts, IMO.
I don't need to "come to you with questions" - I can respond to your posts at face value.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
and like I said I think everyone has been majorly nice to me much more since they can see I'm pregnant. So don't over think it and don't let it take over your joys. Just try to be carefree and nice to people and the niceness will come back to you, it's inevitable!
i was really missing all my friends and family (they live on the other side of world!) but now H and I have so much to do that I honestly think it's a blessing to have some privacy and get stuff done aswell! Just take care of yourself and don't focus on the unnecessary stuff.
not sure where you got me denouncing people, but sorry. You can respond to it with whatever intent you want, but the way you worded things sounded like a serious personal attack on me for no reason.
I posted my story on the WTF page because I thought it was interesting and a WTF, but ended it with a question that related to it in a way.
I'm sorry for talking to someone about how ridiculous in laws can be, because that's what she decided to respond to and talk to me about. She didn't respond to the question and we got off subject, that's all.
Once again, I'm sorry I offended you so deeply with my post.
Thank you you everyone else that's wishing me better times though, I really appreciate it.
- @glitterfish wasn't rude.
- What was the point in bringing up that you have paranoia disorder, if you then recant and say it's not that bad and doesn't cause issues? You brought it up saying 'maybe this is why I feel this way'. Someone said 'yea maybe that's it' and now you're saying your concerns are being discounted because of it? I am confused.
- If you want to have better relationships with these people, maybe reach out via calls/texts and ask about their lives to build relationships. They will naturally return and ask about yours and you can discuss pregnancy. That seems healthier to me than posting crap on Facebook and waiting for people to comment/message you about it.
Thats not not what I meant by that. Yes, my paranoia can be a factor, but saying that pretty much everything I've said up to this point is BS just isn't fair. That's what I meant by delagitimatizing what I say. Not saying that it's not allowed to be a factor in how I felt. But it bothers me when all of a sudden EVERYTHING I say is false just because of my paranoia.
I tried reaching out to people. Like I said, they're too busy with their own lives. I also said my parents never answer calls or texts. Don't think I haven't tried to reach out to people. I don't expect it to understand my situation since you aren't in it.
We had thought the animals (which DH now insists was a bird and one or more stray cats) had left before we got home. But something keeps getting in the house. DH thought he figured out how it was getting in and blocked it up yesterday. But we woke up this morning to more poop in the living room.
DH cannot figure out another way it's getting in. And now we are wondering if a cat is just hiding in our house full time. But then what is it eating?
This is driving us nuts! WTF!
@mamaspraggie I hate to blunt but if your family is too busy working that they can't send you a text to ask how you are but can get on facebook long enough to check your updates, they don't care. As for your in laws, they have an 18 year old pregnant jobless daughter in an awful situation that is a little more important than your pregnancy. I'm not saying your pregnancy isnt important but your married and you have a job, do I have that right? I think if you don't have support from your family, you should get support from your DH. I'm 8 hours away from my family and I don't talk to them everyday but for every doctor appt I send them a quick text. I don't put it on facebook for the world to see, you should also want to make them feel special for actually getting a personal update from you rather than seeing it on facebook with the rest of everyone else.
Like you said, FB isn't giving me the support I need, so I thought I could come back to this app and join a nice community again and ask questions and get support. I'm so disappointed.... I'll just delete the app and find something else.
I hope everyone has healthy babies though and wish everyone the best of luck with their little ones ❤️
*edited because half of it got deleted for some reason*
That's a real WTF for Thursday.
ETA: I suspect nobody in the universe can provide you all the attention/admiration you require. You would be well served to start working on this in therapy now, especially with a deployed husband.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'