@mango517 lol! It was acceptable. Def not the same tho. And holy heartburn batman!
@pinkyswife counseling is amazing. It has helped me tremendously. Just having an unbiased professional to vent/cry/yell to is so helpful. Im glad you are happy with your 3rd baby boy!
i have to say I'm crazy impressed with the number of self aware women on this board that can understand and acknowledge what their relationships with their mothers did to them and how they hold onto that and transfer it to other aspects of their lives. Like that's some enlightened shit. The fact that we can acknowledge that gender disappointment is real and it comes from a real ass place for many of us and it can be explained and thus dealt with without yelling or tearing each other down is refreshing. Another reason why I think August17 is an amazing birth month!
i talked DH into getting a puppy for DD and i to keep inside. we have too big guard dogs(giant pushovers) that stay outside for the most part so i wanted a smaller dog for inside we got to meet the puppy saturday and are bringing him home tomorrow. now DH is more excited than i am buying him new collars and food bowls it'skinda adorbable lol
I'd like to chime in as the daughter of a mother who had a dysfunctional relationship with her manic depressive mother. As just one example, my mom was called home from high school to find her mom in the corner of her bedroom threatening to kill herself. My mom couldn't rationalize with her, so she called the ambulance and just told my grandmother to do what she felt she needed to do. My grandmother took all of her pills, but the ambulance was already on their way. My mom grew up essentially without a mom, much like some of you have. My grandmother continues to suffer from her mental demons to this day (she's 90).
I attribute my mom's ability to raise my sister and I to her experiences like that. My mom is the strongest, most independent woman I know. She got through her childhood, went to university to become a physician, and ran a successful practice for over 30 years before happily retiring. She raised two strong-willed women (myself included, of course ), and she did a bang-up job doing it.
The fears you're all having are so understandable, but I just wanted to say that I think you're all going to do amazingly. I think that, because you actively acknowledge your relationships with your own moms, you'll allow the dysfunction to stop there.
@dmbfan46835 and @HappyToBeHere I just wanted to thank you for your responses. I just started participating in this board and just from today I've felt some serious support. You girls rock.
I posted earlier in the gender thread that we found out this morning that we are having a GIRL! Instead of crying anxious, scared tears..I cried happy ones instead largely because of this thread. How cool is that?! I love my mom and our relationship is rocky but I do my best to keep things positive. I love all the responses and encouragement we have given each other. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
@LSP87 aaand cue the tears.. I legitimately just got a bit weepy from your post, Congratulations mama! So pleased for you - you will be an awesome mom for your princess.
Sending all the love to all of you strong women -I haven't chimed in on this convo yet as I was lucky enough not to go through what some of you did and so didn't feel it was my place to comment. However, I will now because I need to say I am in AWE of all of you. Parenting is hard enough without all of your experiences and I think the fact that you all acknowledge that you're trying to be better moms than your own already makes you incredible, selfless people. The support on here is genuine and I have yet to come across a more supportive forum.
Gonna stop here because I'm crying now and cos I hope that didn't sound condescending because that's not what I meant at all. Sending creepy internet hugs to all of you today, chins up y'all xx
I've struggled with my emotions around my weight for a long time. I lost and kept off 65 pounds, so gaining weight is hard. When I step on the scale, I have to give myself a little pep talk about the baby growing and how awesome it is to be experiencing change like this. But I have a doc appt. today, and I KNOW that I weigh 2-4 pounds more on their scale than mine at home, which sends me into a near anxiety attack. It's really really hard for me to not restrict or purge leading up to my appt just so that the scale reflects what I actually weigh. How crazy pants is that??? (former ED, too, so genuine crazy pants)
I'm sorry you're feeling that way and that you recognize it's not healthy for the baby. I would mention those urges to your doctor at the appointment today. They may be able to accommodate you somehow or offer you resources for help, like letting you self report weight using your home scale so you don't have to deal with being weighed at the doctor.
@dinofreak That must be really difficult, I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I remember seeing some other moms on here who ask the OB not to tell them their weight. They even step on the scale backwards so they don't see the number. Then your doctor only brings up the weight gain if it's a concern. Maybe that would help ease your anxiety. I second what @SarahBethBR said about bringing up those feelings (restricting, purging) - your doctor may have a way to help. You also don't want anything to get out of control as the weight gain continues through the pregnancy.
@dinofreak your weight at the doctor's office is not important. The important part is how much you gain/lose between appointments and that will be the same at both places. I weigh 4lbs more at the office as well, that's normal.
@dinofreak Mental road blocks regarding weight gain during pregnancy can be so tough. There is no way of knowing how your body or mind will react to pregnancy. So if this is unexpectedly mentally hard for you then please give yourself some grace.
Bring everything up to your Dr. and see what you guys can work on to lessen the triggers and keep an eye on as the pregnancy continues. Even if it's something like the first appointment of the morning and being weighed in a gown vs. clothes. Or not hearing the numbers.
Together: January 2002 Married: May 2008 Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
@dinofreak oh girl, I get it. I have dealt with body image and weight issues my entire life. With DS I refused to weigh at home and I never looked at the doctors office. They knew to keep it off of my chart and the portal too. I knew it would be a trigger for me. I was much more confident and happy that pregnancy than I am now. I honestly have no idea how much I weighed in the end and I am thankful for that but I was also very uncomfortable in my skin post baby. Breastfeeding didn't help. I didn't drop the last 10 lbs til I weaned this past August. So with that in mind, I started weighing myself the day I got my Bfp. Total fail on my part. Now it's an obsession, and it's not healthy. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm growing a human and need to give myself some grace. But it's a slippery slope. I am so sorry you are also having issues. I'm with the other ladies that you have to tell your doctor. Restriction and purging are not what you need. You need support and understanding. And I know it's hard but you have to step away from the scale. It only does harm in my opinion. But know you aren't the only crazy person on here. Keep us posted on your journey. We can help keep you accountable and healthy for you and your babe
@dinofreak I am also "in recovery" from EDs and being pregnant is very difficult mentally. This is my third pregnancy so I have a little extra reassurance knowing that I WILL get my body back to something I am happy with. It might require patience, but it will happen. This is so temporary. And it is so so cool! I plan for this to be my last pregnancy so I'm always trying to tell myself to enjoy it.
That being said I am gaining weight quicker than I did with second pregnancy and it is slightly disconcerting for me since I am working out more and chasing after more kids and eating mostly fruits and salads. My body is totally doing its own thing and I am so not in control, which is hard. I can feel my ribcage expanding and everything feels tight. I haven't wanted to go full on maternity clothes at work because I feel like 16 weeks is "too early". I'm not cutting myself much slack for baby number three. My midwife always sounds so pleased that I'm gaining weight, but I feel slightly inferior when she says that. She knows I have a history and is more than happy to talk about it, but my husband gets very uncomfortable when the subject is brought up, which makes me uncomfortable so I try to pretend it never happened (just consumed my life from 13-27). I am 34 now and honestly having DD1 was life changing for me. I never wanted to put myself in harm's way because that little girl loves her mommy and needs her mommy and needs a good role model and I would do anything for her. There are just always little nagging voices that just need to be squished every now and then.
sometimes even just saying out loud on here that you feel uncomfortable is very liberating. Reminders that it isn't just me, that we are all feeling big,that we are (mostly) all gaining weight sometimes can put things in perspective.
Re: FFFC 3/3
not the same tho. And holy heartburn batman!
@pinkyswife counseling is amazing. It has helped me tremendously. Just having an unbiased professional to vent/cry/yell to is so helpful. Im glad you are happy with your 3rd baby boy!
i have to say I'm crazy impressed with the number of self aware women on this board that can understand and acknowledge what their relationships with their mothers did to them and how they hold onto that and transfer it to other aspects of their lives. Like that's some enlightened shit. The fact that we can acknowledge that gender disappointment is real and it comes from a real ass place for many of us and it can be explained and thus dealt with without yelling or tearing each other down is refreshing. Another reason why I think August17 is an amazing birth month!
I attribute my mom's ability to raise my sister and I to her experiences like that. My mom is the strongest, most independent woman I know. She got through her childhood, went to university to become a physician, and ran a successful practice for over 30 years before happily retiring. She raised two strong-willed women (myself included, of course
The fears you're all having are so understandable, but I just wanted to say that I think you're all going to do amazingly. I think that, because you actively acknowledge your relationships with your own moms, you'll allow the dysfunction to stop there.
Sending all the love to all of you strong women -I haven't chimed in on this convo yet as I was lucky enough not to go through what some of you did and so didn't feel it was my place to comment. However, I will now because I need to say I am in AWE of all of you. Parenting is hard enough without all of your experiences and I think the fact that you all acknowledge that you're trying to be better moms than your own already makes you incredible, selfless people. The support on here is genuine and I have yet to come across a more supportive forum.
Gonna stop here because I'm crying now and cos I hope that didn't sound condescending because that's not what I meant at all. Sending creepy internet hugs to all of you today, chins up y'all xx
I'm sorry you're feeling that way and that you recognize it's not healthy for the baby. I would mention those urges to your doctor at the appointment today. They may be able to accommodate you somehow or offer you resources for help, like letting you self report weight using your home scale so you don't have to deal with being weighed at the doctor.
Bring everything up to your Dr. and see what you guys can work on to lessen the triggers and keep an eye on as the pregnancy continues. Even if it's something like the first appointment of the morning and being weighed in a gown vs. clothes. Or not hearing the numbers.
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
That being said I am gaining weight quicker than I did with second pregnancy and it is slightly disconcerting for me since I am working out more and chasing after more kids and eating mostly fruits and salads. My body is totally doing its own thing and I am so not in control, which is hard. I can feel my ribcage expanding and everything feels tight. I haven't wanted to go full on maternity clothes at work because I feel like 16 weeks is "too early". I'm not cutting myself much slack for baby number three. My midwife always sounds so pleased that I'm gaining weight, but I feel slightly inferior when she says that. She knows I have a history and is more than happy to talk about it, but my husband gets very uncomfortable when the subject is brought up, which makes me uncomfortable so I try to pretend it never happened (just consumed my life from 13-27). I am 34 now and honestly having DD1 was life changing for me. I never wanted to put myself in harm's way because that little girl loves her mommy and needs her mommy and needs a good role model and I would do anything for her. There are just always little nagging voices that just need to be squished every now and then.
sometimes even just saying out loud on here that you feel uncomfortable is very liberating. Reminders that it isn't just me, that we are all feeling big,that we are (mostly) all gaining weight sometimes can put things in perspective.
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17