Weekly BItch Fest (3/6)

Gators&BoSox · March 2017

What has you agitated this week ladies???

ShannonJ96 · March 2017

So I'm 5 days overdue now (and half way convinced that I'm never going to get to have this baby). I was supposed to go see my doctor this morning, but my appointment was cancelled because she is delivering someone else's baby.

Last week she told me that she was really hoping I didn't make it to this appointment, and that if I did she would be scheduling me for an induction. Well, since today's appointment got cancelled and she was all booked up for the rest of the week, I am seeing a different doctor on Wednesday. I hope I don't make it to that appointment. And if I do, I really hope that she's not one of those dumbasses that makes you wait until 42 weeks to induce. I've completely run out of patience with this whole pregnancy business.

disneybaby84 · March 2017

Baby spit up two bottles yesterday and spent ALL last night trying to eat to refill his stomach. I told him today he's only going to breastfeed and get back to normal eating every 2-3 hours.

mtmama2 · March 2017

@ShannonJ96 Good luck! Hoping you don't make it to your Wednesday appointment! Even 5 days overdue sounds completely miserable

heether3456 · March 2017

Saturday morning really early I started having contractions about 10 minutes apart. My hubby got everything in the car and ready. I labored for 4 hours and then decided to get in the shower. As soon as I got in the shower they stopped. I've been having contractions ever since then but nothing consistent. I'm 39 weeks today so I know it could be anytime especially being my 3rd and at my last appointment I was dilated to 2cm. I'm just getting super impatient and tired. Hoping the doc gives me good news at my appointment today. My first came on his due date and my second was induced and got here the day before his due date. So I know we've gotta be close...... or I'm hoping we are!!

direwolfmini · March 2017

@disneybaby84 that is so frustrating! I was dealing with something similar last night (two babies projectile vomiting...) hang in there!!

My bitchfest is myself. I think I might need to take a break from the bump and the Facebook group because I can't handle the AW posts about breastfeeding and pumping. I've tried to ignore them, but they almost always make me cry.

I've tried everything and while my supply has increased (before I could get up to 2 oz a pumping session yesterday I got 3oz at my morning session.. this is not after breastfeeding. This is if they don't breastfeed and I pump instead), I can't help but feel like a failure every time I hear about someone that is regularly pumping 10oz or more a session (I fight for 10oz in a day, on a good day) or about a mama that already has a freezer stash. I never got pornstar boobs, they still won't latch without a nipple shield, and I have to decide if it's worth driving myself absolutely crAzy to give each boy MAYBE 5 oz a day.

The rational part of me understands that mamas are proud to be providing for their LOs, and should post about their breastfeeding journey, but the crazy postpartum side of me cries because I'm apparently less than.

Anyway, if I'm not hanging out that's why. I'm sure I'll be back, though.

disneybaby84 · March 2017

@direwolfmini hugs! you've got a big job feeding two hungry babies! can't say I'd be any good at it, I'm still working on getting better with one hungry baby!

wintersong · March 2017

direwolfmini said:

@disneybaby84 that is so frustrating! I was dealing with something similar last night (two babies projectile vomiting...) hang in there!!

My bitchfest is myself. I think I might need to take a break from the bump and the Facebook group because I can't handle the AW posts about breastfeeding and pumping. I've tried to ignore them, but they almost always make me cry.

I've tried everything and while my supply has increased (before I could get up to 2 oz a pumping session yesterday I got 3oz at my morning session.. this is not after breastfeeding. This is if they don't breastfeed and I pump instead), I can't help but feel like a failure every time I hear about someone that is regularly pumping 10oz or more a session (I fight for 10oz in a day, on a good day) or about a mama that already has a freezer stash. I never got pornstar boobs, they still won't latch without a nipple shield, and I have to decide if it's worth driving myself absolutely crAzy to give each boy MAYBE 5 oz a day.

The rational part of me understands that mamas are proud to be providing for their LOs, and should post about their breastfeeding journey, but the crazy postpartum side of me cries because I'm apparently less than.

Anyway, if I'm not hanging out that's why. I'm sure I'll be back, though.

2 oz per breast per pump8by session is a totally normal amount to pump. Bodies just don't always respond to pumps like babies. Can you rent a hospital grade pump?

If you want to message me on Facebook feel free! I think you are doing an amazing job caring for your twins. Especially considering your issues finding help. Sleep deprivation and stress only add to this problem, so I totally get why you would want to avoid even more!! If you need to supplement with formula, do it and be proud that you can give your babies what they need to thrive. That's what formula is FOR for crying out loud.

FWIW I don't like those posts either because it's not a contest. All moms and babies start off the journey in a different way. Anyway, I don't think it's good to purposefully encourage an oversupply. That comes with issues of its own.

Hugs. You are okay. What you are doing is amazing.

wintersong · March 2017

@direwolfmini YGPM

MsTurney · March 2017

@direwolfmini we are all here for you, not against you. My SIL hit the nail on the head, when she said even if you cannot fully breastfeed or you are feeding formula, you are no less of a mother. You brought those beautiful boys into the world, you grew them from the start. You are amazing and you need to remember that! You got this, being a mom is hard and it sounds like you are doing an amazing job.

kjd291 · March 2017

@direwolfmini we are all here for you!! Please don't leave!
Just like we all struggle with different things in life-spouses, in laws, jobs--and different things in pregnancy--PGAL, symptoms, sleep, due dates, high-risk... we all have different struggles with feeding after our babies arrive: oversupply, undersupply, formula choices, reflux, allergies... it's never a competition! A fed baby is the only thing that matters. You certainly never ever should feel less than because other moms are having different challenges! You're doing an amazing job taking care of TWO babies and we are here to cheer you on!!

Gators&BoSox · March 2017

@direwolfmini so many hugs!! Last time with DS we went through a 2 week period where he was cluster feeding and always wanted to be on the breast and I was literally tapped dry. It was so defeating .. he was screaming, I was sobbing, and that was only one baby. It's so hard but you are doing such an amazing job. The fact that you care so much proves it. I always found pumping to be way more difficult too. I hope you know that we are all routing for you and think you are a fantastic mom!

MsTurney · March 2017

My bitchfest is my fucking dog. Now that I am
home, he is a pest. He thinks that being fed at 2pm going to happen. He he just stares at me, cries, barks, whines to the point where I actually need to restraint myself from throwing something at him. He is normally fed around 4-5pm when I get home from work. But since I've been home he thinks 1-3pm is more appropriate. I cannot handle it. I have a video of what he does and maybe I can post here. I love my Merlin so much, but he can't be like this when baby is here. It's irritating and he does not give up. I've ignore the whining for over an hour and he just does not give up. Looking for any suggestions ??

direwolfmini · March 2017

Thanks, ladies.

@kjd291 @Gators&BoSox @longliveregina @DisneyBaby84 @MsTurney
I didn't mean to throw a tantrum, I was having a hard time (obviously...).

I know I don't give myself enough credit, and I need to celebrate small victories. I was just hoping that breastfeeding would come a little bit more natural for me. Also, I'm a cheapskate, so the idea of paying for formula really upsets me!

also, I'm too addicted to this site to actually stay away.

@longliveregina the ounces I mentioned are combined for both breasts.

I'm going to keep at it for a while longer. I have a LC appointment this week and we'll see what she says.

@MsTurney no real advice regarding the dog. Mine started acting a bit crazy the last week before i went to the hospital, but she was back to normal (better than normal, actually) once we got home. I've also been told that dogs have no concept of time, so I would guess that you being home is confusing to him?

disneybaby84 · March 2017

@direwolfmini we are hormonal women. We have bad days/ bad moments. I've had mine.

Knottie1471010354 · March 2017

@direwolfmini I had the same experience with my twins. No matter what I did nothing changed the fact that I was/am a low producer. These posts still bother me and my twins are almost 6. I'm curious to see what will happen now with one (likely) close to full term baby. There is no right or wrong. I think someone said it best when they said Fed is Best. Try to make peace with whatever method you have to use to be a happy less stressed mom. Twins are stressful enough lol. You got this

Edited to add: my twins never got the hang of breastfeeding and I was an exclusive pumper.

Cbeanz · March 2017

@direwolfmini

Learning to bf as a FTM is hard. Pumping for a premie is REALLY hard. Breastfeeding twins is beyond my comprehension.

I admire your dedication and all the effort you are putting into giving your boys as much as you can. You are so devoted to them!

I'm sorry if any of my insensitive comments upset you. I think you're doing great!

direwolfmini · March 2017

@Cbeanz You weren't insensitive, I'm overly sensitive right now and being a bit of a crab.

The previous posters were right, we all have different challenges. Some have an oversupply, some don't have enough. Being engorged doesn't sound like fun to me either.

I'm going to stay away from BF posts and hopefully I'll be less of an a-hole.

Thanks, Knottie (forgive me for not tagging you, that's a lot of numbers). I think my issue is that bc they're preemies and it's so early on, I keep thinking that things might change. That I might wake up tomorrow with a better supply, or that it will grow over time. Hopefully I can get a better idea at the LC appointment Wednesday!

marshmallowfarts · March 2017

@direwolfmini - boy do I feel you!! DS1 was a premie and my supply never went up very much (like 2-3 oz per session on pump) - but I stuck with it because formula is expensive (DS had a sensitive stomach and required the $30/can formula), and also when I went back to work I wanted pump breaks. Not sure if you intend to go back to work or not. But I felt the same way last time - I did everything, fenugreek, brewers yeast, oatmeal, etc - and my supply was what it was and nothing changed that. You know what though? I lasted 9 months before DS self weaned. For such a little supply I was still super proud of that because some that exclusively breastfeed don't make it to the 3 month mark. The best part was is during the night he only ever wanted a snack it seemed and fell asleep nursing. Not getting up to nurse was the best but sometimes I still couldn't provide enough and had to drag my tired butt out of bed to make a bottle.

I also understand not wanting to be on here. When DS2 was in the NICU being on here was painful. Everyone still pregnant and enjoying their healthy babies/pregnancies. I felt like I was robbed the entire last month of my pregnancy - even though it was difficult I loved knowing he was with me and he was safe with me. Then when they got to have their babies they got to take them home. Talk about heartbreaking. But the point is - you need to take care of you. And you have a lot of women here ready to support you in whatever you decide to do. You should know that your babies are fed because of you (whether formula or breast), your babies are loved because of you, your body created not one but TWO babies and you freaking rocked it the whole way through. Love yourself - you did good

MMaru · March 2017

I have not seen this happen here on our monthly forum, but in general - my bitchfest is about ANY form of shaming that happens to mothers. The implication that if you had a C-section instead of a vaginal birth, you're less of a mother. That if you formula feed instead of breastfeed, you're less of a mother. If you had to be induced, or if you put your child in daycare, or whether you choose to use cloth or disposable diapers, or pretty much anything that people will use to make another woman feel like she's inferior somehow when it comes to her parenting - it all just needs stabbed in the face. Everyone's journey is different with different struggles and celebrations and situations. Thank you, ladies, for always being supportive and caring and NOT being the sort of women that I am currently annoyed with!

wintersong · March 2017

@direwolfmini Just wanted to say you are decidedly NOT an asshole.

ashley14598 · March 2017

My issue is with work (and I'm on bedrest)! I'm a teacher and I told my boss/closest co-workers I was pregnant back in the summer before the students ever came back. All year my good friend/co-worker/para has been excited about the baby coming (buying the baby outfits, came to the gender reveal, etc). Except when it has come to me taking my maternity leave... when it was discussed at all she almost started crying, and has so much anxiety she can't sleep at night. She has a teaching license and was supposed to over my leave. She has in the past had issues with attendance, and ever since I have been having trouble with my blood pressure in this pregnancy she started to call off work more and more. Two days before my emergency visit with my midwife because of high bp she said she was hurt and couldn't come to work. Now that I'm gone (since last monday) she has only
Been there 3 times total and is taking off work for doctor appointments that aren't until 2 pm in the afternoon (our students leave at 2:15). I know none of this should worry me but I feel awful for the kids and for my other para who has only been hired since January and is now being dumped on all the time. She called in yesterday after 10:30 & said it was because of pain all weekend ... if you knew it all weekend why did it take you until 10:30 on Monday morning to tell anyone?! It makes me even more mad because I wrote every lesson plan for her for the rest of the year (started back in October) and worked so hard to have what I could done for her before I left and she doesn't appreciate it at all. When she is there my other co workers tell me how grumpy she is and on her phone the whole time not even paying attention to the kids or preparing for any future lessons. Not to mention I didn't miss work one time for any of my doctor appointments I made all of them for after school and she can't have the same respect?! Some friend she is being! And I feel like a jerk even accusing her that she's not really hurt it just all seems too coincidental to me ...

@direwolfmini I have no experience bf, and no advice to give you except I think it's awesome that you are a fantastic mom and are trying your best for your babies! They are so lucky to have you!!

RunBooRun · March 2017

My parents booked their flight out here. My Dad can only take a week off while my mom will be able to stay longer (she doesn't work).

Anyway, my bitch is that they will be arriving at 40+3 and my dad will be leaving at 41+3. Unless something emergent happens, my midwife won't induce until 41+5. This means my dad could miss lo entirely (I won't induce for non medical reasons).

Hoping I go near my due date so my dad can actually meet the baby. Also, I'd rather go before they get here because I don't want to deal with the hovering.

RunBooRun · March 2017

@direwolfmini FTM, so I don't have any experience. Take care of yourself! Do whatever you need to do to make sure you and your babes are happy and healthy.

sunshine507 · March 2017

I decided I don't want to go back to the chiro I was seeing. She helped my SI joint pain but also told me it was fine to lie to our families about whether or not kids are vaccinated... I don't want to start that debate on here but being told to lie about something like that is not something I'm comfortable with at all.

Now I woke up with a super sore neck. Fail. Not sure if I can go get a prenatal massage at mid week 39 or not...

vino831 · March 2017

sunshine507 you absolutely can! I've been getting them weekly! My next one is tmw 40w3d. I pretty sure this time Ill tell her to hit the points that they typically avoid!

ShannonJ96 · March 2017

@MsTurney
The only thing you can really do is wait for your dog to readjust to a new routine. Your being home throws off his whole schedule, and he needs time to learn that dinner is still at 4-5. Be patient, and if the whining is that bad, put him outside in the yard for a little bit (assuming its not too cold to) or maybe give him something like a pig ear to chew on and keep him busy. Just don't give in to the begging by giving him his dinner.

mtmama2 · March 2017

My bitchfest is myself. I keep reading all of these articles and hearing from others that I should be "soaking up these last few weeks of pregnancy" and "enjoying the time I have left before baby arrives" but I just can't. I am 100% aware that I sound like a whiney little brat but I am just so done! I am horribly uncomfortable 24/7 whether I'm sitting, standing, or laying down. I haven't been able to sleep since December. My once slender feet now resemble some sort of inflated foot-balloons that refuse to fit into anything other than flip flops. I have yet to find a single food item that doesn't give me heartburn. I don't understand how anyone can soak up moments and enjoy the third trimester when all I can think is Dear God I hope I go into labor today so I can be done with pregnancy and finally meet my baby girl!

sunshine507 · March 2017

YES SO MUCH @SienaC
you are not alone.

ShannonJ96 · March 2017

@SienaC

People who say stuff like that typically haven't been pregnant for a very long time, if ever at all. Pregnancy is a miserable process. A very long, miserable process.
I personally hate hearing that stuff too, especially the "Sleep now while you can," crap. One, you can't store up sleep, so sleeping now will not help much when the baby comes. And two, I haven't had a decent night's sleep in months. I'm already accustomed to sleeping for 4 hours a day in short shifts (heart burn is a major issue for me, and my baby likes to head butt my bladder a lot). Can we yell at people to shove their remarks up their asses and then blame our hormones? I am soooooo tempted to on a daily basis.

mtmama2 · March 2017

@ShannonJ96 This is all coming from friends and coworkers who have recently been pregnant! I'm like "You have been here, you KNOW this is not the fun part!". I was perfectly content being pregnant until I hit the 3rd tri and then it all went downhill! And the sleep while you can comments?! UGH If only I could!! IF I can actually manage to find a position that is comfortable, I usually still can't turn my brain off enough to get to sleep. If only I could pull some hours of sleep out of my personal sleep bank from the 1st tri....

Hell yes to the yelling and blaming hormones!

ShannonJ96 · March 2017

@SienaC
Seriously? They should know better then. This is the worst part of being pregnant. I'm 6 days past my due date today, and I'm probably going to snap and strangle the next person who asks me if I've had the baby yet, how I'm feeling, or who tells me to "enjoy this special time."

And just think, soon we're going to have people constantly bugging us about getting to visit our new babies. No one ever wants to just let you enjoy that special time.

Burrberrymum · March 2017

Our new house we moved into is a complete disaster of boxes and work everywhere. There was a ton of cleaning that needed and still needs to get done before we can actually put stuff away. We have people working long days helping us get it ready but the entire house is now dust and wet paint. None of our furniture is delivered yet so there's no where to get comfy at the moment. My 3 year old is back tracking me left right and center. I don't blame her she's been so bored for the past 4 days in a house with no toys while we all work long hours getting our shit together.

My bitch is that I just wish someone would offer to come and play with her and get her out of our hair! It's bad enough I'm physically and mentally pushing myself to the absolute limit scrubbing floors/doors/cupboards/bathrooms etc but she also wakes up 4 times a night still so my body can't take much more and at this rate I don't think I will last through labour if it happens any time soon. (Due in 10days) Everyone who has offered to help with her hasn't showed up.. and I shouldn't expect anyone to take responsibility for my child but the break to do maintenance and cleaning around here or even unpacking some damn clothes that fit me would be nice.

mtmama2 · March 2017

@Burrberrymum That sounds so miserable, I'm sorry! Is there somewhere nearby that you could take her to for an hour or so to wear her out? Maybe a pool or gymnastics activity center where she would use up a lot of energy and want a nap afterwards? Could buy you a couple hours! Hang in there!

Burrberrymum · March 2017

Thanks for the suggestions @SienaC ..Thing is, there is no such thing as burning energy with this kid. She's the type that is constantly moving, fidgety, bouncy and all over the place for hours and hours and never has that "crash" ..I wish I had her energy. Speaking of energy I barely have enough energy to fight her ready for her dance class lol! That's where I am now and I'm practically falling apart just sitting here. I've just never felt this kind of exhaustion in my whole entire life and I'm kind of really jealous of everyone who can lay down if they need/want to and just watch a movie or something. I think we're insane for moving this close to due date! This will be a story for the future.... Lol!

kap1988 · March 2017

This is a ridiculous thing to bitch about, especially after reading poor @Burrberrymum's story, but the same 5 people message/text/call me about twice every freaking day just to ask "how are you"? The same as I was 7 hours ago last time you talked to me. I know they are excited but I just want to be left alone to wallow lol

Ivorytower2 · March 2017

Not only am I 39 weeks pregnant and huge, but my toddler made sure to tell me every day this week that she is Belle and that I am the beast.

OctoberLove13 · March 2017

@kap1988 SERIOUSLY!!! I'm not as far along as you but this has been my life for the last few days. The same 4 or 5 people asking the same questions every day. I was having some contraction-like aches yesterday that completely let up today so everyone is disappointed by my "symptoms have disappeared" response today.

Everyone is so excited and we should feel incredibly loved BUT like you said, just let me wallow!

MsTurney · March 2017

Ivorytower2 said:

Not only am I 39 weeks pregnant and huge, but my toddler made sure to tell me every day this week that she is Belle and that I am the beast.

Awww. I did laugh a little but kids really say the darnedest things lol

mtmama2 · March 2017

@Burrberrymum I would also like some that energy please! Does she have friends in the area that she could have a play date with? Best of luck to you mama!

@kap1988 @OctoberLove13 That is incredibly annoying I don't know how you can stand it! I think I would be sending back messages like "I will let you know as soon as there is anything to report!". Being this pregnant is hard enough without people constantly badgering you about going into labor! My MIL tagged me in something on Facebook the other day saying "If SienaC would hurry up and have that baby I could make plans" and I sent this back to her...

SorryNotSorry

kap1988 · March 2017

@OctoberLove13 @SienaC I've been ignoring everyone today. I'm sure they all think I'm having a baby and not telling them. But I don't care. At least they didn't really start until about a week ago. I can't imagine people starting it at 37 or 38 weeks.

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