Monday Bitchfest

stokesm21 · February 2017

(I think we can all agree that I've effectively volunteered to run this thread haha!)

stokesm21 · February 2017

*sigh* The first ... again.

I work in a recreational facility in events although a large portion of my job is booking parties (let's not talk about it haha!) I just took a phone call and the lady said, "So even if my kids don't have nut allergies the cake still has to be nut-free?" and I said yes. She exclaimed how that's a "thing" here. I told her pretty much everywhere is nut-free now. (Canada) She said how when she lived overseas they were allowed to bring nut items to school and such. I told her it's not the case here, people have died. Then you know what she says to me? "I think it's up to those kids to learn how to handle it and manage it." To say I was shocked was an understatement. I was literally speechless. Anaphylaxis is not 'just an allergy.' People die. I guess she doesn't care?! Her kid eating an Oh Henry at school is worth another child's life?! SMH!!!! My sister was allergic to every nut except for a peanut when I was young. At the ripe old age of 8 I had to learn how to stick that damn epipen in her leg! My Dad eventually over time developed a nut allergy as well. While they are not in the 'anaphylaxis' category, it's still a very real issue for our families. I have developed allergies over the years myself, no food yet, but I can't say I'm optimistic when it comes to nuts as I get older. (Which sucks because hazelnuts are my FAVE!) Anyways. I'm not sure where everyone else stands on this or what the laws are in the U.S but here, pretty much every facility is nut-free now. And IMO, rightfully so.

My other bitch is at myself. I was showing my best friend the bajillion fabric bins I picked up for my storage shelf the other day to decide which one to use. She exclaimed how she loved the colour (grey) ... and combined with pink. That was it. I couldn't stop thinking about it and completely redesigned the entire nursery in my head this weekend. So I'm mad at myself haha! As if I didn't have enough to do already and now I'm going and changing the wall colours! DH does not paint so it's all on me. Ugh. I know pink/grey is very trendy and I'm usually not on the 'what everyone else is doing' bandwagon. I'm a bit different in that I like hot pink or fuchsia as opposed to like a soft, rose pink (yuck!) Anyways, I had to return stuff and everything. I'm not sure why I was ever trying to keep the colours gender neutral. I mean, she'll never go in SS's room because it's hardcore boy (2 blue walls, 2 beige with blue stripes) Once baby #2 comes along SS will move downstairs (he's older so it's not an issue) She can stay in her room then if we have another girl well then, I can deal with SS's upstairs room when that comes. Needless to say 4 months to go and I guess I'm feeling a bit crazy but ... better now than never (or in 2 months) I guess!

glitterfish-2 · February 2017

Every facility is nut-free? Wow, that sounds really dramatic and overboard to me!

chamomile-2 · February 2017

@stokesm21 sorry you had to deal with that! A lot of people lump nut allergies with other food sensitivities or preferences but they're a whole different and super serious category.

My bitchfest is aimed directly at my gallbladder, which gave me an absolutely horrible night. I've had five cancer-related surgeries along with chemo and radiation, and the pain of biliary colic is like nothing I've experienced before and all I can take for it is Tylenol. The on-call doc said to move up my appointment with my primary OB to discuss seeing a surgeon - the last thing I want is 2nd-tri cholecystectomy but gallbladder complications can be dangerous for the baby and surgery is easier the sooner you do it. I'll see what she has to say but this situation sucks!! Argghh.

MrsLa3 · February 2017

@stokesm21 she sounds like a nut to me.

stokesm21 · February 2017

GlitterFish said:

Every facility is nut-free? Wow, that sounds really dramatic and overboard to me!

No, no, I said "pretty much." (Sorry, I guess bad wording on my part) I know we are and all the other local facilities like ours are as well. I don't think that our stadiums and conference centers are though. AFAIK the actual law in place only applies to schools but a lot of facilities have just chosen to be nut-free.

PurplePumpernickel · February 2017

I understand peoples' annoyance, because nuts are delicious, but... If your kids aren't nut-allergic, just keep the PBJs at home! They can be a special weekend lunch or something. I'm sure that person wouldn't want someone else to put her child at risk, so why make a big deal out of it to protect someone else?

stokesm21 · February 2017

@Chamomile That does not sound nice at all! Hoping you can get some answers soon and surgery if that's what's best!

kat0607 · February 2017

@stokesm21 if HER kids had a nut allergy though...I'm sure she'd go the extra length to make sure that there were going to be no nuts allowed anywhere within 50 yards of the building. Stupid people literally make my brain hurt.

longhairdntcare · February 2017

Is this a thing in the US? I 100% get the reasoning (and would obviously comply when the time comes if it was a rule), but man, I lived on PB&J in elementary school. I literally had one every single day for lunch.

nktrodden826 · February 2017

Not but related but I have Celiac Disease so I have to be gluten free and when I was getting married it was a requirement that if I was spending $10k on food (or even $100 for that matter) I was going to be able to have a bite of every damn thing that was there. SO many venues said "well we can just make your meal GF" or "you wouldn't want others to suffer and eat GF" and we even had people say they weren't coming if the food was gluten free. Like what. One night and I know you all will be kissing me so no, I'd rather not spend my wedding day covered in hives.

People who aren't exposed to food allergies and have no experiences really don't understand the severity of them. At the middle school I worked at we had peanut free tables that made the kids with but allergies feel even more singled out because they had to sit at their own tables.

stokesm21 · February 2017

nktrodden826 said:

Not but related but I have Celiac Disease so I have to be gluten free and when I was getting married it was a requirement that if I was spending $10k on food (or even $100 for that matter) I was going to be able to have a bite of every damn thing that was there. SO many venues said "well we can just make your meal GF" or "you wouldn't want others to suffer and eat GF" and we even had people say they weren't coming if the food was gluten free. Like what. One night and I know you all will be kissing me so no, I'd rather not spend my wedding day covered in hives.

People who aren't exposed to food allergies and have no experiences really don't understand the severity of them. At the middle school I worked at we had peanut free tables that made the kids with but allergies feel even more singled out because they had to sit at their own tables.

Oooo I get this. I worked as a wedding coordinator and allergies was a very real thing for us/guests. We couldn't guarantee that everything was GF (they too would get their own meal) but thankfully a lot of the apps and starters were, so that person could at least have half the menu. It was a process to make sure that it was marked down properly and that the serving staff knew the menu well enough to advise a guest if items were GF (we had people who had an intolerance vs those with actual celiac). We went as far as to know the names of the GF people so we weren't calling them out like, "Who is GF?" Haha! The thing that drove us nuts was people who never notified us then they would steal some other GF persons meal and it would end up with us scrambling around to make more. I can't believe people actually said they wouldn't come like ... you paid for the meal right? Why should they get a say? The thing is, most people who aren't GF would have no idea whether it was in a dish or not. Venue's are that good.

That's so sad for the kids! Way back I use to be against it and very much like this lady, even with the familial allergies, but over the years I've come around. It's a nut. You can eat it at home where you aren't going to risk people's lives. Some people can't even be in the same room as nuts.

nktrodden826 · February 2017

@stokesm21 believe it or not it was my grandparents who said they weren't interested in a gf wedding because what wedding doesn't serve bread and what salad doesn't have croutons. I think elderly people are just stuck in their ways! Yes, everything was paid for by us. We went to 20+ venues in D.C. And we finally found a country club in Virginia that had a head chef who was gluten free himself! Paid more but totally worth it.

Some people wouldn't even try our cake because it was gluten free. $2,300 for a gluten free wedding cake and we went home with almost half.

stokesm21 · February 2017

@nktrodden826 They make GF bread don't they? Haha. Oh dear. Wow that's an expensive cake haha! I really think cakes are becoming a thing of the past. If it makes you feel any better, I went home with half my cake too. Maybe the dessert table put a damper in the cake eating but I'm not a huge cake person myself so I probably wouldn't eat any at a wedding if I had other options. (Unless it was chocolate cake which isn't common here. Vanilla and the like are pretty standard and I'm not a fan. Die hard chocolate cake lover over here lol!)

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@nktrodden826 I had the same problem with my wedding, only I'm a vegan not gluten free. I had MULTIPLE people, including my MIL and my aunt say "but why would you make everyone eat vegan?" Uh, cause it's delicious. Still ended up with meat there cause my FIL offered to make it and bring it himself. And I couldn't turn down free food. But it was such a struggle. Now my baby shower is being thrown by my MIL so I have no say, and I'm getting a "meal" brought for me.... which I eat like all the time since it's just a local restaurant. And I won't really be able to eat anything else, including the cake. It sucks, but I don't have the energy to fight it for this.

virginiaunicorn11 · February 2017

I am very sympathetic to nut allergies but have also noticed it's a Thing in the US (and I guess Canada), and the prevalence seems much higher there. Which fits new research saying the allergy is on the rise due to lack of exposure. I don't have a suggestion for a solution, I am just sympathetic to both sides - the allergic folks and the PB obsessors. ETA: and would happily oblige nut-free requests if made to me.

My bitch: I work remotely so have just told my colleagues about my pregnancy. A very senior dude said, "This literally could not possibly be worse timing." And then after he heard how long I'm taking (6-8 months of my allowed 12 months - yay Germany!) he said, "Putting aside for a moment concerns about your position, just intellectually, how can you do this to yourself? You're going to be so bored." I was shaking and livid for 24 hours til friends talked me down, and I chatted with my amazing boss. She's got my back.

Then another giant asshole at work today responded (on skype) with, "Wow. Gulp. Good luck."

Nice, guys.

I am taking full advantage of the fact that they cannot fire me, and responding to these douchebags with zero filter.

nktrodden826 · February 2017

@stokesm21 oh yes they do but that certainly wouldn't pass the "you can't tell it's gf" test. 1 loaf of sandwich bread costs about $10 and its half the size of regular bread. So definitely not worth the money. We had other padded apps and I don't think people even noticed it was missing!!

Regarding people taking gf meals It's almost like on the wedding invitations you have to say attending yes no and check if you need vegetarian, gluten free, dairy free, blah blah blah. It's getting crazy! Coming from someone who would check the gf meal box lol

PurplePumpernickel · February 2017

They wouldn't even try your cake, @nktrodden826 ? That's too bad. I'd still give it a try, because cake is awesome.

nktrodden826 · February 2017

Wouldn't even try it! Yeah this cake was awesome so I was fine with going home and having 6 pieces of cake a day

kat0607 · February 2017

We went home with literally our entire cake. Luckily it was a small, two-tier cake and we had cupcakes for the guests. The cake was supposed to be served to us and the bridal party, but it never was.

ETA: Ugh @virginiaunicorn11 those guys sound slimy. I hate when people act like having kids is a death sentence. If having kids isn't your preference, that's fine for you, but don't make this about my "intellect" and how bad of a decision I'm making. Give me a break. I'm glad to hear you held nothing back in telling them off.

nktrodden826 · February 2017

@stokesm21 tell me you have a picture of your dessert table!! I LOVE seeing wedding cakes and how theyre transforming into donut towers and dessert bars!! Should add to the AW wedding tread I guess!

stokesm21 · February 2017

@virginiaunicorn11 I personally think allergies in general (all allergies, not just food) are yet another product of the current times. My Mom said allergies were almost unheard of when she was a kid and even when I was young, they weren't a big thing. I had an African-American friend at an old job who said he only knew 1 AA who had allergies. I'm not sure if anyone on here can chime in about that but he said it was also pretty unheard of in the AA community. Then again I feel the same about things like cancer. Not so prevalent back then or when I was a kid but absolutely, insanely rampant now-a-days. I have 6 family members (Great-great grandfather, Great grandmother, 2 Great Aunt's and 2 Aunts) who have had or have died from cancer. Actually, only 1 of those 6 was a survivor. Most of those cases have been recent as well. Really makes you wonder.

To add, I can't say I'm surprised that they were both men lol! I don't think I've ever heard a Mom with a NB talk about how "bored" she is.

virginiaunicorn11 · February 2017

Thanks, ladies. The ultimate irony - these dudes are both fathers!

@stokesm21 good points. I think you're right all around.

kat0607 · February 2017

@stokesm21 I agree that things seem to be more common these days than they were way-back-when. It's hard to decipher why that might be - there's probably a lot of factors.

longhairdntcare · February 2017

I'm with @cait32. I think kids need exposure to germs and potential allergens early. Not saying I am going to let my kid play in the toilet or anything, but I am not going to freak out about dirt/germs and also plan to expose to PB early.

postywiththemosty · February 2017

I've definitely heard about studies that say exposure early and fairly often can help your child to avoid nut allergies.

Yiggle09 · February 2017

@Chamomile hey lurking from may 17. I had my gallbladder out june of 16. I waited until I started to get yellow because a stone slipped out and blocked my common bile duct and I strongly do not suggest waiting any longer than you have to. I know surgery is scary especially being pregnant but thankfully its not a difficult surgery. Gallbladder issues are the leading reason for emergency surgery in pregnant women. Apparently the estrogen levels rising affects our cholesterol and causes gallbladder issues. Let me know how things go for you?

julybaby17-2 · February 2017

I'm totally agree that kids need exposure. I've been craving peanut butter, and the doctor said that it was a good thing because kids exposed to peanut butter during pregnancy are less likely to have allergies. I LOVE peanut butter and wouldn't want my kids to miss out on it's yumminess!

chamomile-2 · February 2017

@Yiggle09 thanks for the insight, much appreciated! What you went through sounds awful, hoping not to get to that point. Talked to my OB clinic today again and when my primary OB is in office she's going to get back to me about seeing a surgeon. I had a CT scan before pregnancy for other reasons and had no gallstones so they're definitely pregnancy-induced.

AdaByron · February 2017

Rules about nuts vary a lot in my area. Our old DC let you bring peanut stuff, and when they ate lunch they had a "nut free" table and an "egg free" table for all the kids who had allergies. I think this is how it's handled in public schools also, but my only experience is with middle school, where there are labeled tables in the cafeteria, and high school where it's the kid's responsibility to stay away from their allergen. I'm sure there are parents who chose not to send their kid to that DC because of the risk of coming into contact with another kid's lunch.

The DC we just switched to allows no outside food at all. They make all the meals and snacks there, and I'm sure they're nut-free, although I never asked bc my kid doesn't have allergies. We're not allowed to bring in any food for birthdays, class parties, nothing.

oheliza44 · February 2017

I agree with @Cait32 regarding exposure and plan to expose my kids to potential allergens early, pursuant to the suggested guidelines. I also plan to get my kiddo tested for other allergens early through an allergist. I have a deadly allergy to bee stings and I want to know as early as possible if the baby also has this reaction since there is a genetic component.

Obviously this allergy is a huge pain in the ass but I consider myself lucky that I'm not allergic to something I come into contact with everyday, like a food allergen. Living in a part of the country where seafood is in every menu the thought of having a life threatening reaction to shellfish would be awful. You wouldn't be able to eat at any restaurant because of cross contamination. I feel for these people.

On a related note, I asked my OB at my first appointment about using an Epi-Pen should I be stung during pregnancy. She basically told me that the chance of the fetus surviving the allergic reaction and the epinephrine shot was pretty low. I try not to think about what that means for me. If I am stung my life depends on me giving myself the injection immediately but also may cause me to miscarry. I can't even think about that scenario without throwing up. I haven't been stung in over 15 years so FX my streak continues.

ETA: my Monday Bitchfest goes to any garment that requires hand-washing only. I unknowingly bought maternity tshirts that are hand-wash only meaning they won't get worn because I don't want to slave over a wash basin every few wears.

mslynn2012 · February 2017

My MBF is the fact that the FFFC thread was closed for a change in topic - pretty sure everyone was on topic, but whatevs.

Dcwtada · February 2017

@mslynn2012 knowing the bump admin, they probably got bent out of shape that it was Monday and we were posting in a Friday thread.

kat0607 · February 2017

@oheliza44 Ugh that is awful that you have to live with such a legitimate fear. If I were you, I'd be a hermit until my due date.

Hopefully there will be no bees anywhere near you to make you worry about that, at least until well after the baby is born!

LoveLee85 · February 2017

My bitch is my aching back and my house that I just can't seem to keep up with. It's bad. Laundry piles all over. Kitchen a mess. I'm 21 weeks but feel like I'm 31 weeks. Chasing a toddler around this pregnancy is a total different ball game! I just want my home clean! Ahhh! I have to keep resting and kicking my feet up to feel better. Lol. There aren't enough hours in the day.

OperaSingerMommy · February 2017

@virginiaunicorn11 As if the decision to work or stay home isn't hard enough for a lot of women, there are jerks who say that kind of crap to pregnant women?! Nice. Sorry you're dealing with that.

My bitch is that I still haven't been paid about 2K for a gig that I sang over the last few months. Unfortunately in this business, I can't even be too much of a jerk about them being unprofessional or they wouldn't hire me next year so my messages are like "so sorry to bother you but..." Sadly, we singers are a dime a dozen and we need the gigs more than the companies need us. Wahhh I want my money.

Dcwtada · February 2017

My bitch - I just got my second warning for the FCCC post. No one can have have fun or an opinion around here

LoveLee85 · February 2017

Dcwtada said:

My bitch - I just got my second warning for the FCCC post. No one can have have fun or an opinion around here

What?! I didn't see anything report worthy at all from anyone. Some people need to lighten up...why do they let internet strangers upset them so much?? Lol

Xath · February 2017

@oheliza44 Hand wash only to me means "won't last as long but still going in the washer anyway."

Also this:

LoveLee85 · February 2017

@stokesm21 as someone with a severe shellfish allergy, people who don't have to deal with it just do not understand!! I have restaurants I obviously will not go to just because it's not worth accidentally getting food cross contaminationed and ending up in the hospital.

I mean, my own FIL always rolls his eyes when I say I have a shellfish allergy(avoiding certain places) and he says this little gem: 'Well, I'm allergic to shellfish too but I just eat it and take a Benadryl if I need it. Just do that!!!' And he says it with a smug look on his face as if I'm lying about my allergy. He says every time he eats it he feels better toward his allergy. Then I say that's funny because it normally gets worse with each episode??? He honestly thinks I'm lying and I just can't deal with him when he talks like that.

PurplePoppy424 · February 2017

Dcwtada said:

My bitch - I just got my second warning for the FCCC post. No one can have have fun or an opinion around here

I got one last week for using a 10 things gif. It's gotten so stupid around here.

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