Thank you ladies! Thankfully he is ok. He has a laceration above his eye and it looks like someone socked him in the eye. His left hand is very swollen but no fracture or break. He has a large bruise from the seat belt that thank God he was wearing.
The car is totaled and it was my mom's that he was driving, so now we have to deal with that among many other things. But at least MH is alive with no serious injuries.
So we had our hospital tour and I hated it. The hospital has great ratings and people often rave about their experience delivering there but now I am re-thinking our decision to go there after being on the tour. The hospital where I delivered DD is only 20 extra minutes away and I had a great experience there so we might go back to it instead.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@CherryBananas - I think part of the problem was that I was comparing it to the hospital where I delivered DD which provided a pretty perfect experience and I don't know if it was the way the lady gave the tour or what the actual experience would be like but it just raised 3 big red flags. First she mentioned that lactation consultants were not widely available and were always busy. Then she talked about how the first 24 hours there is little to no rest to mom due to the many interruptions and she stated that the national average was 54 interruptions during the first day. When asked how the hospital compared to the average, she said she didn't know but to expect a lot of interruptions. Lastly she really talked about how much rooming in is the policy and how they don't really want babies in the nursery.
With DD, the LCs were very attentive, would come and visit regularly and made it feel like they really cared. In fact, the entire staff felt really caring and concerned, very customer focused. DH even got free breakfast every morning and one free dinner. Then re: interruptions, the hospital was very vocal about trying to do as much at the same time as possible to reduce interruptions and would make certain things optional ahead of time so that there wouldn't be as many. And re: rooming in, I am completely for it but with DD, I got 2 hours each night where she went to the nursery and I got to sleep, which was so nice and allowed me to get the rest I needed. Overall the hospital felt not as customer oriented as my previous experience and now I'm left wondering whether it was the presenter or if that hospital culture really is like that.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
We just met with a second postpartum doula. She made us like the first better. I think we're both a bit bummed that neither one of them felt perfect to us. DH isn't feeling well so he's lying down. My nausea is terrible and I'm babysitting in an hour. This will be my last babysitting date because I'm getting too uncomfortable to keep up with a 1 yr old. Bittersweet.
@vrj0522 I think it's definitely hard when you've had an amazing birth experience already to not compare! I delivered DD1 and DD2 at two separate hospitals and while DD2s hospital wasn't awful, I definitely remember wishing certain things were like the first hospital. I think it's what your comfortable with and expecting! If hospital 1 is an option for you, I'd go back to it!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@vrj0522 those things would also make me question a hospital, and I have nothing to compare to. I guess just because something is a popular choice doesn't make it a good fit for everyone. It would be worth the extra 20 min drive for me.
@achays11 so glad your husband is okay and that he continues to be once the adrenaline wears off.
@vrj0522 have you chatted with other moms that have gone to the hospital that you just toured at? Sorry your experience wasn't great, although it might help to hear from others experiences? Otherwise I would just go to the other one if it's an option, considering you enjoyed it. I feel like there are so many interruptions regardless but 54 in the first 24 hours seems excessive. I've never heard of a national average to begin with!
@vrj0522 that sounds like the hospital where I gave birth the first time. I'm delivering at the same hospital this time and I'm planning on asking for a 24 hour release because there were just always people bothering us and I got no rest with the rooming in policy. At least at home my mom can take care of me!
@achays11, I'm so happy to hear that your husband is okay! I was thinking about you all day.
I had a really terrifying close call while driving today. I was going about 75 and had a barrier to the side of me, and there was a f**king tire in the middle of the road! I barely had time to react because I didn't see it until the last minute when the car in front of me swerved. Thank God I was able to clear the tire and get my car under control. Sometimes I want to wrap myself in a bubble until this baby is born.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Thanks to everyone who had bookshelf suggestions for me. In case anyone is curious, here's the before and after. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out!
Thanks again ladies for all of the support! He is obviously very sore and will be for a few days. Now we have to deal with everything that goes with an accident of this magnitude and how to deal with only one car when he has to commute to work and I have DD duty.
Ugh. I am so mad. We had my parents over for dinner tonight. As per usual, they started talking about how my brothers and I were as babies. It was irritating me more than it normally does - this type of conversation typically leads to them acting like babies are the worst and that we'll never sleep again and our marriage will be ruined. I usually just tune it out or tell them to knock it off and that's usually the end of it.
But tonight. My dad at one point said that boys are awful as babies. I told him to cut it out and that not all babies are the same. I started tearing up but he kept pushing the issue. Started saying how all my brothers did was cry the first six months of their lives. I lost it. Burst into tears and said he could either shut up or leave, and I went outside to bbq. I mean, he knows I'm having a boy. He knows that at this point I could have a medically compromised preemie. I don't care if the kid cries constantly, I just want a healthy kid at this point, you know?
Anyways, he apologized afterwards but I'm still pissed. Do people seriously not use their brains before they speak? Dad's going on a time out until I can think about this without wanting to strangle him.
@CherryBananas I am so sorry that he didn't shut up when he should have. He deserves the time out. And for what it's worth my anecdotal experience is that a baby boy can totally be easy.
@achays11 That is terrifying. I'm so sorry and glad he will be able to recover from this. Dealing with the lack of car will be a strain as well. So sorry you are dealing with this.
@KMD1106 Holy crap was that a good deal! So bummed I bought one about 2 weeks ago when it was 25% off. Oh well, the print I got was only $6 cheaper during the lightening deal, although I am sure I would have gotten one of the under $100 ones had I not already bought that one!
@CherryBananas ugh, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how little situational awareness you would have to have to act as your dad did. Hopefully this isn't his usual, and he will refrain from crazy talk in the future! Especially with all the worry you are having about baby's health, you really don't need that! For what it's worth, I worked at a "lab school" (daycare, but more education focused, I had lesson plans and goals for infants, but that's a whole different thing.) with young toddlers and infants for about 5 years, and seriously, your dad is way off base. Every kid is their own little person, with their own little personality. We had babies who were "hard" babies who were both boys and girls. Same with mellow babies!! The only thing really different about most boys and most girls as babies is how other people (the adults) react to the baby's behavior. Like, some people have gendered expectations, and they react to what they are expecting to see. So, if they expect boys to be wilder, they will point it out every time baby boy is wild, while ignoring the times he sits quietly with a book. With a girl who has a similar personality, the same adult will talk about "what a good reader" and "how delicate" the girl is. (My in laws do this all the time with daughters and their boy cousin, and don't realize at all that they are doing it.). So, I think I went off on my own personal rant tangent there. Sorry. This is apparently a sore subject for me.
My point is, your little boy will be his own lovely little person. He will be special and lovable and yours. He may be fussy, or mellow, or sleepy, or chatty, or wild, or determined, or lazy, or snuggly, or independent, or anything else! But it won't be because he's a boy. It will be because he's himself!
@CherryBananas I'm sorry about your dad. All babies are different, and you're right, even if yours cries a lot I hope it's healthy because that's all that matters. Babies are tiny for such a short amount of time in the grand scheme. Parents can be tough, and sometimes people don't think before they speak. No excuse. Sending you big hugs!
@achays11 I just got caught up, I'm so glad your DH is ok. How scary for both of you!
@vrj0522 that sound so very similar to my hospital (that I work at and delivered at). It's so frustrating as a nurse. We do not have a nursery so there is zero respite for exhausted mommas. We only have lactation during the day and not even all day; they tend to pop in and pop out very briefly (though all of the nurses are trained in lactation). And we interrupt constantly. We have a policy that we have to go in the room every hour to check and see how you are doing or if you need anything. It's so frustrating becuae no matter how quiet we are we still wake patients up or babies up. Weve pushed back a lot but "they" (management) says that is best practice and nurseries are not encouraged or supported and frequent checks on patients show the patient they are supported by nursing staff and helps meet needs.
@RainyDays86 - I was not talking about Lutheran. I actually delivered DS there and it was a great experience, exception being that they also pushed rooming in and the first night they took DS to the nursery and brought him back 20 minutes later, which did nothing to help me sleep. In that case, I actually think it was more the nursing staff on duty rather than the way the hospital ran because the next day they took him for 2 hours without an issue. And that was almost 5 years ago so I wouldn't be worried about that happening again there. Their facility is beautiful and delivering there was a pretty good experience.
@pshaortao - I actually know a lot of moms who have delivered at that hospital and they have always had good things to say. Now that I have specific questions to ask based on the tour, I plan on asking them so I can compare to what I was told. DH and I agreed to go back to our old hospital for a tour again and after that and talking to a few other moms we'll make a final decision.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@CherryBananas - Ugh! I'm sorry you had to put up with that! I would've been pretty pissed too.
@MrsFreeman2010 - The picture you painted there is actually what I'm trying to get away from! This is my 3rd time, if I need a nurse's assistance, I will call please let me sleep in the mean time! But in all seriousness, I understand that nurses have to check on patients regularly, I just feel like those interruptions should be minimized as much as possible and an hourly check is definitely too much. Sorry that's what you have to live with.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
So much to catch up on! The internet was horrible this weekend at my house so I couldn't get on with out getting extremely irritated that it would either take forever to load or wouldn't load at all! I think I've caught everything...
@kns1988 & @MrsCPALeslie thanks for the encouragement and sharing your experiences! Still haven't heard from the loan officer and our realtor sent us a text last night saying the sellers are packing up their house and wanted to know if we wanted some of the furniture. We told them they can leave it if they want but we aren't paying for it (they wanted us to before when we thought they were offering). So, yay to some furniture that might be helpful or we can sell it haha Our realtor, also, attempted to contact our loan officer, but hasn't heard from him either, which is weird because he's pretty good at getting back to us quickly. I'm really hoping he has news for us today and not last minute! He keeps telling us everything looks good and there shouldn't be any issues, but it just makes me nervous with this stupid contingency thing that's on there (we put money down up front and if anything went wrong we would get it back, then then when we had to rework the contract because the appraisal was lowers than the price we agreed on they want to have it if something goes wrong and we have so many days to be able to back out without losing that money that we would need to move somewhere else. Its a mess basically). That was a lot! My bad! But that's the update so far!
@jayandaplus I made some swaddles and I think they ended up being around 40" X 40" once finished. I didn't have to cut the fabric more and the lady who cut it said they'd be fine.. They don't seem too big, but I haven't compared them to any other swaddles.
@achays11 so sorry to hear about your H, but glad he's doing okay!! I can't imagine going through that right now and just adding more stress to you all! Wishing a speedy recovery!!
@CherryBananas sorry your dad was acting like that. You're right, every baby is different and while it is okay to share experiences, you don't need to continue to push it when someone asks you to stop. I probably would have done the same thing and walked out!
@starphish18 the bookshelf looks great!! What did you end up doing to paint it?
Phew...that was a lot!
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
@BabyMC517 Thanks! I went with primer followed by paint. It worked really well! I've heard the type of primer is key, as some of them don't adhere well. I used Zinsser, because I'd heard good things, and it worked like a charm to stick on the laminate. And I used fabric on the back, thanks to @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot's recommendation.
Re: Weekend Chat 2/25 & 2/26
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
The car is totaled and it was my mom's that he was driving, so now we have to deal with that among many other things. But at least MH is alive with no serious injuries.
Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@CherryBananas - I think part of the problem was that I was comparing it to the hospital where I delivered DD which provided a pretty perfect experience and I don't know if it was the way the lady gave the tour or what the actual experience would be like but it just raised 3 big red flags. First she mentioned that lactation consultants were not widely available and were always busy. Then she talked about how the first 24 hours there is little to no rest to mom due to the many interruptions and she stated that the national average was 54 interruptions during the first day. When asked how the hospital compared to the average, she said she didn't know but to expect a lot of interruptions. Lastly she really talked about how much rooming in is the policy and how they don't really want babies in the nursery.
With DD, the LCs were very attentive, would come and visit regularly and made it feel like they really cared. In fact, the entire staff felt really caring and concerned, very customer focused. DH even got free breakfast every morning and one free dinner. Then re: interruptions, the hospital was very vocal about trying to do as much at the same time as possible to reduce interruptions and would make certain things optional ahead of time so that there wouldn't be as many. And re: rooming in, I am completely for it but with DD, I got 2 hours each night where she went to the nursery and I got to sleep, which was so nice and allowed me to get the rest I needed. Overall the hospital felt not as customer oriented as my previous experience and now I'm left wondering whether it was the presenter or if that hospital culture really is like that.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@achays11 Glad your DH is okay!
We just met with a second postpartum doula. She made us like the first better. I think we're both a bit bummed that neither one of them felt perfect to us. DH isn't feeling well so he's lying down. My nausea is terrible and I'm babysitting in an hour. This will be my last babysitting date because I'm getting too uncomfortable to keep up with a 1 yr old. Bittersweet.
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
@vrj0522 have you chatted with other moms that have gone to the hospital that you just toured at? Sorry your experience wasn't great, although it might help to hear from others experiences? Otherwise I would just go to the other one if it's an option, considering you enjoyed it. I feel like there are so many interruptions regardless but 54 in the first 24 hours seems excessive. I've never heard of a national average to begin with!
ETA - Not sure how I got so far behind... but glad he's doing ok. Cars can always be replaced. Thank goodness he was wearing a seatbelt!
I had a really terrifying close call while driving today. I was going about 75 and had a barrier to the side of me, and there was a f**king tire in the middle of the road! I barely had time to react because I didn't see it until the last minute when the car in front of me swerved. Thank God I was able to clear the tire and get my car under control. Sometimes I want to wrap myself in a bubble until this baby is born.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@kns1988 that sounds really scary at that speed! Glad you're fine!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
But tonight. My dad at one point said that boys are awful as babies. I told him to cut it out and that not all babies are the same. I started tearing up but he kept pushing the issue. Started saying how all my brothers did was cry the first six months of their lives. I lost it. Burst into tears and said he could either shut up or leave, and I went outside to bbq. I mean, he knows I'm having a boy. He knows that at this point I could have a medically compromised preemie. I don't care if the kid cries constantly, I just want a healthy kid at this point, you know?
Anyways, he apologized afterwards but I'm still pissed. Do people seriously not use their brains before they speak? Dad's going on a time out until I can think about this without wanting to strangle him.
@achays11 That is terrifying. I'm so sorry and glad he will be able to recover from this. Dealing with the lack of car will be a strain as well. So sorry you are dealing with this.
@KMD1106 Holy crap was that a good deal! So bummed I bought one about 2 weeks ago when it was 25% off. Oh well, the print I got was only $6 cheaper during the lightening deal, although I am sure I would have gotten one of the under $100 ones had I not already bought that one!
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
For what it's worth, I worked at a "lab school" (daycare, but more education focused, I had lesson plans and goals for infants, but that's a whole different thing.) with young toddlers and infants for about 5 years, and seriously, your dad is way off base. Every kid is their own little person, with their own little personality. We had babies who were "hard" babies who were both boys and girls. Same with mellow babies!! The only thing really different about most boys and most girls as babies is how other people (the adults) react to the baby's behavior. Like, some people have gendered expectations, and they react to what they are expecting to see. So, if they expect boys to be wilder, they will point it out every time baby boy is wild, while ignoring the times he sits quietly with a book. With a girl who has a similar personality, the same adult will talk about "what a good reader" and "how delicate" the girl is. (My in laws do this all the time with daughters and their boy cousin, and don't realize at all that they are doing it.).
So, I think I went off on my own personal rant tangent there. Sorry. This is apparently a sore subject for me.
My point is, your little boy will be his own lovely little person. He will be special and lovable and yours. He may be fussy, or mellow, or sleepy, or chatty, or wild, or determined, or lazy, or snuggly, or independent, or anything else! But it won't be because he's a boy. It will be because he's himself!
@vrj0522 that sound so very similar to my hospital (that I work at and delivered at). It's so frustrating as a nurse. We do not have a nursery so there is zero respite for exhausted mommas. We only have lactation during the day and not even all day; they tend to
pop in and pop out very briefly (though all of the nurses are trained in lactation). And we interrupt constantly. We have a policy that we have to go in the room every hour to check and see how you are doing or if you need anything. It's so frustrating becuae no matter how quiet we are we still wake patients up or babies up. Weve pushed back a lot but "they" (management) says that is best practice and nurseries are not encouraged or supported and frequent checks on patients show the patient they are supported by nursing staff and helps meet needs.
@pshaortao - I actually know a lot of moms who have delivered at that hospital and they have always had good things to say. Now that I have specific questions to ask based on the tour, I plan on asking them so I can compare to what I was told. DH and I agreed to go back to our old hospital for a tour again and after that and talking to a few other moms we'll make a final decision.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@CherryBananas - Ugh! I'm sorry you had to put up with that! I would've been pretty pissed too.
@MrsFreeman2010 - The picture you painted there is actually what I'm trying to get away from! This is my 3rd time, if I need a nurse's assistance, I will call please let me sleep in the mean time! But in all seriousness, I understand that nurses have to check on patients regularly, I just feel like those interruptions should be minimized as much as possible and an hourly check is definitely too much. Sorry that's what you have to live with.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@kns1988 & @MrsCPALeslie thanks for the encouragement and sharing your experiences! Still haven't heard from the loan officer and our realtor sent us a text last night saying the sellers are packing up their house and wanted to know if we wanted some of the furniture. We told them they can leave it if they want but we aren't paying for it (they wanted us to before when we thought they were offering). So, yay to some furniture that might be helpful or we can sell it haha Our realtor, also, attempted to contact our loan officer, but hasn't heard from him either, which is weird because he's pretty good at getting back to us quickly. I'm really hoping he has news for us today and not last minute! He keeps telling us everything looks good and there shouldn't be any issues, but it just makes me nervous with this stupid contingency thing that's on there (we put money down up front and if anything went wrong we would get it back, then then when we had to rework the contract because the appraisal was lowers than the price we agreed on they want to have it if something goes wrong and we have so many days to be able to back out without losing that money that we would need to move somewhere else. Its a mess basically). That was a lot! My bad! But that's the update so far!
@jayandaplus I made some swaddles and I think they ended up being around 40" X 40" once finished. I didn't have to cut the fabric more and the lady who cut it said they'd be fine.. They don't seem too big, but I haven't compared them to any other swaddles.
@achays11 so sorry to hear about your H, but glad he's doing okay!! I can't imagine going through that right now and just adding more stress to you all! Wishing a speedy recovery!!
@CherryBananas sorry your dad was acting like that. You're right, every baby is different and while it is okay to share experiences, you don't need to continue to push it when someone asks you to stop. I probably would have done the same thing and walked out!
@starphish18 the bookshelf looks great!! What did you end up doing to paint it?
Phew...that was a lot!
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin