Thank you everyone. I feel much more at peace so far today and that really helps. Yesterday, DH finally convinced me to sit down, have some soup and take a shower. After my shower we nursed and then did some kangaroo style skin to skin and it really was exactly what baby and I both needed. My husband, friends and family have been amazing. Grandma was transferred to the hospice center this morning and that should help a lot with the surroundings.
Stupid question..but did anyone feel overwhelmed on the first day that they spent the whole day alone with the baby? Tomorrow will be that day for me, and I already cried and begged H to not go to work. I felt really silly after, but I'm honestly pretty scared of feeling lonely.
...H comes home talking about everything in his day and I'm like, "here, I kept this human alive. It was harder than it looks. There were a lot of bodily fluids". Newborns are so dependent and that can be overwhelming, especially if that's your main human interaction...