Randoms 2/6

SnarkasaurusRex · February 2017

@mylittleirvz I feel super achy after days where I have to carry DS a lot...over the weekend when we were at a super bowl party he would go from running around like a maniac to wanting me to pick him up and carry him around everywhere...I was definitely feeling it the next day with pelvic pain and I was just achy overall. I also get the feeling on days where I am on my feet all day at work and don't really get a chance to sit down (most days, haha). I think (hope) it's normal!

smoochie041719 · February 2017

@mylittleirvz I'm not much help, but I would say drink lots of water, try to take it easy today like you already said you are doing, and see if they let up. It could be your body signaling that it needs some rest after your long night. My doctor said yesterday that if there are 6 or more Braxton hicks in an hour (tightening, doesn't have to be painful) that I needed to go in which I have seen others post about in here as well. Hope you don't get the bug and that your husband feels better!

HGRich · February 2017

@mylittleirvz as a FTM I know I'm not much help but I have a lot of pain when I've overdone it. And of course that episode of twelve Braxton hicks in an hour and a half I had was after I had overdone it too. I thought it was going to send me into preterm labor. But I'm fine! Sorry your little one is not feeling well!

mrsstuessy · February 2017

Guys, I think I am going to have to give SIL some parenting advice. I avoid giving parenting advice at all costs! Basically unless someone asks me point blank a question or for some specific advice I keep it to myself. I do NOT want to be that person. But, I have a 3 year old, have been a nanny for years previously and also worked at a daycare center for about a year and a half. So, I like to think I know just a little bit more than the average person, or at least more than some people. Also, I have been living with SIL and my nephew for over 8 months now, which is more than half of my nephew's life. So, I know him and I know her.

Well, he has turned into the most miserable and frustrated one year old I have ever known, and I have known quite a few. I think a big reason why is because she is VERY inconsistent with him. For example, he will climb up on the table and she will say, "no, get down" and gentle push him down and then he will do it again and she will ignore him and again a little more and she will still ignore him and then he will be all the way up on the table and she will yell very sternly "NO! GET OFF THE TABLE!". And then put him on the floor. And he will throw tantrums and whine and whine. She is a single mom and is probably trying to do homework or something during that time and so this is why I am sooooooooooo hesitant to say anything. But, it has gotten to a ridiculous point. He literally just whines and tantrums and is frustrated ALL day long and I feel bad for both of them. He doesn't understand the rules and is getting yelled at for something one day and then not the next day and it has made him confused and angry. And I know she is probably overwhelmed and I love them both. So, I want to try and help just a little if I can. I don't think it would take long if she was just consistent and had clear rules and boundaries with him. He is a COMPLETELY different child when he is alone with me and I think it is partially because he knows the rules with me. (although I know all kids are way worse for their parents)

Should I say something? How would you go about doing it? SIL has said several times when she was pregnant and while my nephew was a baby that she hopes he turns out just like DD1 and is open to our advice and has always taken whatever small advice I have given her very well. But, it has never been anything even close to this much advice. I think if I didn't live with her I would just ignore it. Because "not my circus. not my monkey" is sort of my motto with other's children. But the truth is I watch it all day long and it is just getting worse.

Sorry for the SUPER long post. It feels good to get that out though.

rachelmiller03 · February 2017

@mrsstuessy, yikes, you are in a really difficult spot. If I remember correctly, you all are living together, right? Even though my instinct says you are coming from a place of love and concern, I think it would be better for your relationship with SIL to not say anything, unless she comes to you asking for help or advice. You can try to "lead by example", as I am sure you are doing now. I have a 1 year old, and 3 SIL's with kids older than mine, and if one of them gave me unsolicited advice, I would be rather put-off by it. I do ask them quite frequently for their thoughts on different child-rearing topics, however any advice I receive has always been asked for first. Let us know what you decide to do!

HGRich · February 2017

@mrsstuessy yikes. Well not being a parent I probably shouldn't weigh in. But I feel your pain and it's gotta be so frustrating seeing it all the time because you live with them. I would be so hesitant to offer advice unless she asks, though even looking at you with a "help" look after a tantrum might be enough of an invitation. It is good that she's said she'd listen to your advice in the past but she may not remember that and might take offense. I don't know--I don't know her or your relationship really. I wonder if helping her be consistent, like telling your nephew "your mama told you no already" the second time, because that reinforces her rules? Don't know. Hard to say. If you do, I'd be really gentle and ask her if you can offer any advice before just offering it. Again, I'm not a parent or even an aunt! But that was my thought. I feel for your nephew and SIL in that situation.

mrsstuessy · February 2017

Thanks for your input ladies. This is exactly why I am so torn. We will be moving out really soon. April 1st we will definitely be out of here, if not before. So, I am thinking about offering to help her for the last month that I am here. It is going to be hard for a couple of weeks if she decides to take my advice. I know that after a few weeks of it her life would be so much easier. But I feel like if she doesn't have help getting there she will never be able to. I do try and lead by example. But, I am afraid doing something like you suggested @HGRich will just be super passive aggressive. In a little over a month we won't be here to help her and she will be a true single mom on her own for the first time since her son was 6 months old. She is going to school and I am legitimately afraid she won't be able to do it. I just want her to be able to succeed, since a whole little person is depending on her.
I will definitely ask if she wants advice first though. That is a good call.

catem07 · February 2017

@mrsstuessy I'm inclined to agree with PP. Is there a question you can ask her that will get the conversation started, instead of you just starting with a piece of advice?

mrsstuessy · February 2017

@catem07 She has asked a couple of times in the past month things like, "Did DD used to get this frustrated?" Or some things along those lines. In fact just today she was asking me something like that. I should have just used that as an opportunity. But, I basically said that she didn't. I am thinking perhaps I can bring it up later, like I had just thought about it and had a better answer for her.

HappyAnjel · February 2017

I wouldn't just give unsolicited advice.. my brother and me have VERY different parenting styles (he is very strict and I'm not) he's overstepped his bounds when he doesn't think I'm strict enough and it's definitely put a strain on our relationship.

I do think you should take the opportunity if she asks again to say "she did get frustrated when we weren't consistent" or something like that.

smoochie041719 · February 2017

Just curious, anyone doing maternity photos? We weren't going to because sometimes they can be overly posey and my husband hates having his photo taken, but our photographer offered us a package for maternity/newborn that was basically the same price as newborn alone so we're going for it!

Ekzerr · February 2017

@babyblake042017 we plan to but only because my sister is a photographer and will do them for free...I'm so glad we did last time, I think I would have regretted not having pictures done, especially since DH is not big into having his photo taken so they're a nice memory

These are from my pregnancy with DD#1!

HGRich · February 2017

I wish I was. DH's sister is also a photographer and did our engagement pictures. But she lives in Seattle now. I just saw that she did some for a friend of hers who is pregnant and had a moment of self-pity that she couldn't do them for her first niece. Haha. I would have paid her something too, even if it was less than hiring someone else.

@ekzerr those are cute!

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