The Bitchfest (2/6) - Page 3 — The Bump
March 2017 Moms

The Bitchfest (2/6)


Re: The Bitchfest (2/6)

  • aw @MrsFlemingo i'm so sorry for your awful morning. I'm right there with ya.. i keep telling myself "if I could only get one good night of sleep..." pregnancy is mentally exhausting enough without having to deal with it all in zombie mode. do you have to option to go get a pedicure or prenatal massage? it's not as good as sleep but to at least relax and have something feel good might brighten your spirits. i've been dreaming of those wicked expensive fancy massage chairs they have at brookstone. i feel like if i got in one though i'd never be able to get out! lol i hope you find a moment of peace today  <3
  • @MrsFlemingo
    So sorry to hear you feel like crap. I'm at 37 weeks today and in the same boat. Everything hurts, I'm tired (but can't sleep), I still have horrible morning sickness, and I can barely roll myself out of bed without my fiance's help.
    Being unemployed doesn't necessarily make it any easier. You are going to be just as uncomfortable at home as you would be at work. If you're having that much trouble sleeping, take some benadryl (assuming you don't have issues that make it unsafe to do so). While certainly not something you should do every day, it can help a lot when you're sleep deprived but can't sleep through acud reflux. 

    At least the end is near. Just keep telling yourself 6 more weeks.  :p
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  • @MrsFlemingo rant away mama!! No need to feel guilty because you have it easier than some. Your frustrations and discomfort are all valid! And it's definitely just as hard not having a job. We all have different challenges we're facing-I know working full time last pregnancy for me was almost easier than this time just because I HAD to get out the door and get to work, and work all day, and it was hard but such a good distraction and made the time fly by!

    please DO vent all this to your midwife if you're feeling it next appt. they are there to listen. And from one tired hormonal mama to another-crying in front of them sucks, but it always makes me feel better!!  if your heart-burn is an issue still ask for a prescription too! Some of the symptoms are normal but sometimes they can give help with others!! Hope your day turns around and you can have some peace and joy AND sleep!
  • @MrsFlemingo
    we understand! I think prego hormones must be raging late in the third trimester. I just spent half an hour sobbing for no reason. I hope you can get some rest soon! I took a unisom, since that is safe for occasional use. It gave me a night of restful sleep, and that makes a big difference. Good luck!
  • @MrsFlemingo The last few weeks sucks girlfriend, you're not alone! Just try to remember it's a few more weeks of feeling crappy compared to a whole awesome life with a little person. Other hacks I use to get through the last few weeks: 1) swimming- if you have access to a health club or can buy a day pass to a spa with pool. Being in the water makes you feel weightless and gives your body a break. 2) prenatal massage 3) occasional small glass of wine- for me it's amazing and relaxes my brian. Also helps me sleep so much better.
  • @MrsFlamingo I'm really sorry and I feel your pain.  I vented all of this to one of the OBs in my group this week (I see a bunch of them on a rotation) and she was SO sympathetic just watching me waddle around the office (36 weeks with's not pretty) and made me feel a lot better.  She's one of the young women in the group, whereas I have gotten the "yeah, that's pregnancy!" response to some complaints before from the older men in the practice -- not sure if that's related -- but at this point you just need someone to listen and hopefully you can get that.

    My sleep patterns are like yours.  I've just embraced that I'm not going to get nearly enough sleep at night and I've focused on my naps.  Take advantage of not working and nap all you can.  I take at least two naps during the day, and maybe it's because I'm so overtired but I get better quality sleep when I nap than overnight when I'm tossing, turning, adjusting pillows, etc.  Half the time I fall asleep sitting up, which is probably better for my reflux anyway.  

    One last unsolicited tip -- I don't know what you're doing for your reflux, but you should make sure your midwife knows how debilitating it is and ask if you are doing as much as you possibly can for it.  I was taking Zantac and was switched to Prevacid and it is MUCH more effective.  I have no idea what you're allowed to take so don't take my advice, but it is worth just running through what you're doing and how bad it still is just to make sure.  I think Prevacid and Prilosec are not their first line of defense because they take a few days to kick in, but they are stronger and ultimately work better than Zantac/Pepcid.  
  • @MrsFlemingo
    Haha Its definitely not unusual. Sleep deprivation will take its toll on you when you're not pregnant. Its just that much worse when you are. Hell, I was once so tired that I cried because my fiance line dried my work pants. Not only did I have to wear ugly khakis to work, but they were too big for me when they hadn't been shrunk in the dryer and they were still slightly wet. Scared the hell out of the poor guy.
  • I tried to explain to my husband this past weekend that I wasn't sad, but I wanted to cry.  The more I tried to explain it, the more horrified he looked.  You're not alone, as you can see from all of the many other responses! 

    Feeling very slighted today.  My husband and I are part of a Renfaire group.  We've only been involved for two seasons so far.  Last year, he had to work and couldn't participate.  The first year, he was a villager and basically just wandered around the grounds playing rat puck, which is part of setting the scene and whatnot.  I have been considerably more involved: I worked the first weekend last year in the ticket booth, I've walked in the parades, handed out flyers, manned the table at the local convention, I helped with the bake sale the first year and ran the entire bake sale the second year, I've helped make costumes, run errands, and also acted as a villager.  Guess which one of us was remembered when the woman who heads everything up was listing who all helped last year?  Yup, just my husband.  I know it's selfish to get upset at this - it's all volunteer work, and if you're volunteering for praise and thanks, you're doing it wrong.  Just stings feeling like I do so much and get completely forgotten.

  • @Gators&;BoSox my husband woke me up once during this pregnancy for some random reason... and he has learned he is NEVER to do it again because I lost it on him.
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  • *disclosure- this is probably going to sound lame and whiney* I know that not everyone has the luxury of being able to take 12 weeks off for maternity leave but I am lucky in that my employer does offer it even though they don't have to. However, my OB has to authorize the 12 weeks in order for me to be able to take it! Well I just got my paperwork back from the doctor and she authorized me to be of work for 6 weeks! Ugh I should have checked it before I left the office to see if I could get her to extend it! I hope she can change it for me next time because 6 weeks doesn't seem like nearly enough time with my baby! 

    Me: 26 Hubs: 28

    Married: 6/6/15 <3

    Baby Girl: 3/22/2017

  • @SienaC 6 weeks is definitely not enough time! Hopefully if you explain to her that you can take up to 12 weeks if she will authorize it, she will understand and change it!!
  • kiyamurphkiyamurph
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    edited February 2017
    SienaC said:
    *disclosure- this is probably going to sound lame and whiney* I know that not everyone has the luxury of being able to take 12 weeks off for maternity leave but I am lucky in that my employer does offer it even though they don't have to. However, my OB has to authorize the 12 weeks in order for me to be able to take it! Well I just got my paperwork back from the doctor and she authorized me to be of work for 6 weeks! Ugh I should have checked it before I left the office to see if I could get her to extend it! I hope she can change it for me next time because 6 weeks doesn't seem like nearly enough time with my baby! 
    This exact same thing actually happened to me when I took leave for my son. The hospital that I was working for qualified for FMLA, but I still had to do the necessary paperwork in order to go on leave. The doctor put that I can return to work after 6 weeks and the "FMLA Specialist" in HR at my job said that I had to return after 6 weeks instead of the standard 12 because that's what the doctor stated. I contacted the doctor's office to see if he could change it to 12 weeks, but the nurse said that the doctor couldn't do that because it would be illegal. FMLA gives you 12 weeks because the first 6 weeks is the time it takes to recover medically. The last 6 weeks is because of bonding time. So unfortunately, a doctor won't say that you NEED 12 weeks because you don't need 12 weeks to medically recover, and that's why she stated 6 weeks in the paperwork. I went back and forth with HR and I finally said that since the hospital qualifies for FMLA and with FMLA you get 12 weeks, I'll be back in 12 weeks, not 6, so take that pipe and smoke it. It sounds like in your case your employer doesn't qualify for FMLA but is giving you that time anyway? Let me know if I'm wrong though. If they don't, maybe you can see if you can talk to your employer about needing the additional 6 weeks for bonding time. It would be cool if your doctor could put something about bonding time in writing and how it's beneficial for both mom and baby, but I'm afraid that she won't say that you medically need 12 weeks.

  • Or do you need the authorization because the time the doctor approves is paid by your company? At my company, we get FMLA and some of that time is paid (short term disability for 8 weeks) and I CAN take up to 12 weeks but if I want to take the 4 weeks additional time I have to take it unpaid...I don't need an OB authorization though.. 
  • Oh boy, I'd fire ant Dr. that wouldn't consider changing their stance on medical need.  6 weeks is absurd.  
  • @kiyamurph What?! That is unbelievable. It shouldn't be up to medical doctors to say that physiological, mental bonding time is any less important than physical recovery. What about getting a second note from a licensed psychotherapist or something? Honestly I hate this country sometimes.  
  • @Ivorytower2 No I totally get it and I completely agree. But I think that's also why short term disability policies are only 6 weeks since it takes 6 weeks to medically recover. From my understanding, most doctors are only going to put the amount of time that you medically need off. The remainder of the 6 weeks or however long someone wants to take off will depend on your policy, whether it's FMLA or an employer based policy. But yes, our leave policies here in the U.S. are abysmal.

  • @npaulie that would make me so so sad. you deserve cake for breakfast
  • I think I've officially reached the point of being the most irritated I have ever been in my life. I've been having regular contractions all day. This morning they were about 10 minutes apart, now they're 5 minutes apart. I called my doctor and she wants me to come in and get looked at.
    I called my fiance at work and told him what's going on. He actually tried to talk me out of going in because he's nervous about asking his boss to let him leave. Yes, we've had a couple of false alarms, but I don't think this is one of those. I'm still waiting for him to tell me whether or not I have to find a different ride to the hospital.
  • @npaulie that's a valid bitch. Them finishing ice cream and not replacing it is unacceptable at this point. 
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  • @npaulie I always tell my dh that I don't mind if he eats the last of something, but he needs to tell me so I have a warning and can come to terms with it instead of being surpised. You didn't get your ice cream grieving period.

    Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012

    TTC #1 since March 2015

    Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16 

    EDD 3/3/17

    Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16

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  • @ShannonJ96 How are you doing????
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  • @ShannonJ96 I think I would kill him!!! I hope he realized what he was saying and apologized. How are you now? 
  • @ShannonJ96 what?! I hope everything is okay with you and baby, might be baby's arrival time! Poor fiance- he just needs to bite the bullet and get you to the hospital! 
  • I've got one today too! DH is a CPA and usually this time of year I'm all about him because he really does work serious hours. But obviously this year is different! I have a foot in my ribs causing muscle spasms, a bp that's getting higher all the time and he's still in his own little world! He came in last night while I was laying down moaning with a heating pad on my ribs and asked what was for dinner! Y'all we're only 33+4 and I think I might shoot him if ribs will let me move that much!
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  • @ShannonJ96 please keep us posted!  I'm guessing your fiancé just doesn't get how all of this works.  Thinking of you! 
  • SienaCSienaC
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2017
    @kiyamurph That is exactly what is going on! My work doesn't have enough employees to be required to follow FMLA so they just follow it voluntarily but the OB has to say that I need that time off and I don't think she will! My employer doesn't pay for any of my leave, it comes out of my EIB/PTO or is unpaid so I don't see what the problem is! 

    @npaulie That is a completely valid complaint! I might have actually cried if I came home to an empty freezer!
    ETA- I think that you should make him go get you more ice cream to atone for the lack of warning!  :D 

    Me: 26 Hubs: 28

    Married: 6/6/15 <3

    Baby Girl: 3/22/2017

  • @SienaC I ran into this with my work as well. Work allowed for 8 weeks paid (paid for by the company), and of course I could take up to 12 weeks through FMLA, although work would only pay out for 8 no matter what. My doc signed off on 6 weeks only recovery, and as @kiyamurph said it's illegal (fraud) to say you need longer if you are physically cleared at 6 weeks. 

    So I didn't realize all of this, and took 8 weeks off, thinking I get paid for 8 weeks right? Well nope, the company would only pay for what the doctor signed off on, so my first day back at work when I hand in my paperwork, I had to write them a check for the two extra weeks that I took off and was paid for. It was awesome  :|
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  • @mrsflamingo I feel your pain! I'm so over everything. Everything aches and I'm never comfortable or feel rested. Why is the solution to every ache and pain rest when you can or drink more water!!!? Pregnancy is so damn hard!

    I really wanted to treat myself to a foot massage and pedicure tomorrow but now I just somehow sliced my toe really bad shaving in the shower. With my bad pregnancy circulation it's going to take forever to heal and now I don't know if I should go bc the risk of infection. Whaaa I feel like I can't win at life these days. 
  • @ShannonJ96 so glad you went in! After my blood clot scare, I encourage everyone to go in if you have the slightest feeling something is off. Hope they get things under control and you feel better soon.
  • I just can't right now. DD will not nap, I'm having contractions and needed to take a bath. I tried taking her for a walk to get her to sleep, but didn't make it very far because it hurt. So finally I said whatever, I'm putting her in her room and I'm going to get in the bath, she can entertain herself for a bit.

    Next thing you know I hear "I need your help mama, poo" over the monitor. She pooped, took off her pants and diaper, and she along with all of her sheets/stuffed animals were covered in the poop. Stuck her in the bath that now I need to clean before I will get into again, sheets are all in the washer and I'm sitting here crying because I can't deal with it all. 
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  • @CanadianintheSouth sosorry! That is sad! Hopefully later you can get your bath!
  • oh @CanadianintheSouth i feel for you! i hope you get your bath and that she goes to bed nice and early tonight ... hugs!!
  • @CanadianintheSouth hugs Mama. I'm so sorry it was one of those days. I hope you can relax tonight, and tomorrow is better! 
  • Thanks @kjd29. Silly me thought, ok Saturday can only get better! Annnnd nope. Water flooded into the house (backed up from the hose), into the guest/baby's room. So everything I had completely set up ready to go for my mom and baby to arrive now has to be moved and we have to rip up the carpet. My mom arrives in 2 weeks... so this is awesome. Baby better stay fricken put for the next 2 weeks so we can get this taken care of. 
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  • @CanadianintheSouth hugs! I'm so sorry all these bad things are happening!
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