Monday Bitchfest

PurplePumpernickel · February 2017

Hey, I'm starting a weekly thread! Put it in the book, ladies

PurplePoppy424 · February 2017

I'm super pissed off.

My inlaws have been so bad about gender preference for this baby. They have pushed that this baby "has to be a boy" to hard that I seriously feel like if it doesn't happen this time, this baby will be viewed as second best. The did the same crap with my dd. They still do it with her to an extent. They'll buy her "boy" things (like monster trucks and race cars....stuff she hasn't ever asked for or shown an interest in) when they aren't what she asked for. She's a girly girl (into all of the princesses and takes ballet, stuff like that) , too, so none of the stuff gets used because it's not what she gravitates too. I have zero problems with buying her "boy" toys if it's what she wants and it's what she'll play with. That just hasn't been the case for the most part.

Anyways, I digress. The latest in the string of "boy" baby shenanigans. My SIL bought this baby an autographed baseball this weekend made out to our boy name pick. We still haven't even found out what the hell we're having. And no one seems to understand why I hit the ceiling over it.

ETA: hit post too soon.

SaphireSweetie88 · February 2017

@PurplePoppy424

I am sorry that your in-laws are acting like that. What does your SO say? Can they maybe help with the in-laws toning it down?

postywiththemosty · February 2017

So last night we got together with the family for the Super Bowl. My parents argue pretty regularly, but I stopped them from a verbal fight early on in the night before everyone had arrived (making the joke that there'd be more time for fighting later on with more people in the house). Boy was I right.

We had just sliced the cookie cake and had given it to everyone. DH finished first and put his plate on the coffee table. My parents' dog (huge boxer) came over and to sniff the plate but it flipped off the table and on his head scaring the life out of him so he jumped and knocked my grandma's plate out of her hand knocking the food on the floor and she screamed. My dad jumped up and smacked the dog because he's always in the way, but hit him harder than he should have. This set my brother off who jumped in to protect the dog and he started screaming at my dad. My dad then shoved him down to the floor which made my mom start screaming and freaking out.

I thought they were going to get into a fist fight. My dad is aggressive from time to time and gets mad easily, but he's never put a hand on anyone so we were all in shock. My mom was crying, grandma was crying. DH and I just sat there stunned. My brother ended up leaving and not coming back and we watched the rest of the game in more or less silence. Now the family is all tense and my mom talked to my dad who said it was a reflex because he didn't want anyone telling him how to take care of his dog, but I don't know how long it will take my brother to get over it.

Wish this was MUD, but it was my evening.

PurplePumpernickel · February 2017

Wow, that's really crappy of them. I agree that you should have your SO talk to them. It is one thing to buy a little girl trucks or dinosaurs if that's what she has been into, but just getting stuff for her regardless of her interests is dumb, and very wasteful.

PurplePumpernickel · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline that's really scary. The poor dog! I'm glad there wasn't a fight, but I'd be worrying about the boxer.

I got a new dress from Pea in the Pod (well, secondhand from Poshmark) and the slit for one of the ties (it is a wrap dress) gaps so you can see some skin on my side. This is a small problem of course, but it is annoying.

Dcwtada · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline that is quite the night, poor pup

I agree with your brother.

@PurplePoppy424 I would have flipped too. That is messed up.

My bitch is we have struggled with our insurance and OB situation since my doctors office is dropping our insurance come may 3rd they refused to see me for this pregnancy even though I am an existing patient. Thanks to some advice from a friend in the healthcare industry and my lovely husband I scheduled an "annual exam" for this Thursday since once they see you for the pregnancy they are obligated to continue coverage throughout your pregnancy but they have to see me for an annual exam since they aren't dropping the insurance until May. So the idea is to go in for a regular exam and spring the pregnancy on them or say I am there for a prenatal visit - now I have gone back and forth with this office for over two months so I am sure hey are suspicious, I am nervous as hell to do this, DH has no sympathy since that kind of underhanded dealings don't bother him in the least. I am trying not to worry too much but I feel sick everytime I think about it.

squirttheturtle · February 2017

@Dcwtada work the system! I'd probably do the same thing given the situation. DH is an insurance broker and he wouldn't think twice about me doing something like this.

@PurplePoppy424 that sucks. Can't they just be happy for a healthy baby? If my parents or IL's did this and we were finding out, I wouldn't tell them and make them wait until the baby is born.

@maybeitsmadeline we've had similar things happen in our family with the dogs; my dad has a short temper, too. It's never fun.

LoveLee85 · February 2017

Dcwtada said:

@maybeitsmadeline that is quite the night, poor pup I agree with your brother.

@PurplePoppy424 I would have flipped too. That is messed up.

My bitch is we have struggled with our insurance and OB situation since my doctors office is dropping our insurance come may 3rd they refused to see me for this pregnancy even though I am an existing patient. Thanks to some advice from a friend in the healthcare industry and my lovely husband I scheduled an "annual exam" for this Thursday since once they see you for the pregnancy they are obligated to continue coverage throughout your pregnancy but they have to see me for an annual exam since they aren't dropping the insurance until May. So the idea is to go in for a regular exam and spring the pregnancy on them or say I am there for a prenatal visit - now I have gone back and forth with this office for over two months so I am sure hey are suspicious, I am nervous as hell to do this, DH has no sympathy since that kind of underhanded dealings don't bother him in the least. I am trying not to worry too much but I feel sick everytime I think about it.

Do it!! The doctors office and the insurance are equally ridiculous, in my opinion! You need prenatal care. They can get over it. I mean, this could be a life or death situation(not to be negative), you just never know with pregnancy!

SaphireSweetie88 · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline - I would have reacted the same way your brother did but for me (due to long story in my past) if someone put their hand on me (like your dad did to your brother) there would have been a fight - more than verbal.

DH & I have cats and someone did something like that with 1 of our cats. I stood up, opened the door and told that person to leave. They didn't want to and since I knew the cat was bleeding (although just a tiny tiny bit) I told them if they didn't leave I'd call the police on them for animal abuse. They left and we took our cat to the vet and our cat was perfectly fine. Nothing a little extra loving / snuggles couldn't fix. I don't tolerate anything like that towards animals.

SaphireSweetie88 · February 2017

@Dcwtada - Don't feel bad. You do what you have to do. Getting care for you and your baby is priority #1. You'll be okay mama

Xath · February 2017

@dcwtada Your doctor's billing office is being ridiculous. Do what you need to do to be seen and don't worry about it.

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@PurplePoppy424 I'm so sorry they are acting like that. How ridiculous. Is there any chance you can talk to them? Maybe they don't even realize that you're daughter is NOT into what they are buying, and that they are seriously upsetting you. I'm not defending them as much as I'm just trying to offer advice on how you can figure it out. But I don't know them. If they really are just massive asshats, then they're awful and that sucks.

@maybeitsmadeline What a night. So sorry your Superbowl got kind of ruined. Hopefully your dad will apologize and since this isn't a regular thing your brother will come around.

@Dcwtada You might have to just do it. I remember reading your comment from before, and I would feel awful about doing that too, but you have to have care. I really hope you can figure it out, and at least get in with them for awhile so that you can start seeing someone. Have you not had any appointments at all yet?

oheliza44 · February 2017

@Dcwtada I agree with everyone else- do what you have to do to get the care you need. If there is one industry you shouldn't bat an eye at playing fast and loose with the rules, it is health insurance companies, IMO. Screw them.

postywiththemosty · February 2017

@PurplePumpernickel @Dcwtada Yeah we always protect our dogs, so I full agree my brother was in the right.

@SquirttheTurtle It's hard growing up with a parent that has a short fuse and it's really inconsistent. Sometimes things just set him off that make no sense. I know a few months back he got really angry because we had chips and queso and were dipping the chips directly in the queso rather than putting chips on the little side plate and pouring the cheese on them. We've NEVER done that and it was just family. Didn't make any sense and he never had an issue with it again. It's some kind of imbalance. Has to be. Sorry you had to deal with a short fuse dad too!

@SaphireSweetie88 I'm honestly super shocked that things didn't escalate further. My brother and dad have always had a strange relationship and it was just recently starting to get more normal, but I can guarantee this will hurt what they had going. Not to mention the huge drama between my parents that my brother doesn't even know about from two years ago. I can guarantee he would never talk to my dad again if he knew and my mom never wants him to know. I've always been lucky enough to be more in my parents marriage than I care to be sometimes.

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline My dad is the same way. He just gets in moods and everything sets him off, and then he's fine and nothing in the world can bother him. Every once in awhile he gets physical. I never really found a better way of coping with it then just not being around much, especially not alone.

postywiththemosty · February 2017

@kerils I really hope so. He hasn't ever done anything like this, but my brother has a temper too (wonder where he got it from) and he doesn't forgive all that easily. I just hope things smooth over in the next month. My mom is already worried my bro won't come to the family party we are doing in March to find out the baby's sex. She's been known to be a bit dramatic though, so we'll see.

postywiththemosty · February 2017

kerils said:

@maybeitsmadeline My dad is the same way. He just gets in moods and everything sets him off, and then he's fine and nothing in the world can bother him. Every once in awhile he gets physical. I never really found a better way of coping with it then just not being around much, especially not alone.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that's got a short tempered parent. It's hard growing up like that because you feel alone in it. I had friends with dads they they were so close to and did fun stuff with and I was never comfortable doing things like that with my dad for a million and a half reasons, not just his temper.

I totally get what you're saying! Fine one minute and the next eeeeeverything sets them off. It would be easy to stay away if I wasn't so super close with my mom. I try to not deal with my dad that much and I know it hurts him sometimes, but if he wasn't the way he was my whole life, I'd probably be a heck of a lot closer to him.

Dcwtada · February 2017

Thanks everybody I am trying to not be a wuss about all this, I just wish the appointment was over.

@kerils I had a general practitioner appointment but no official OB appointment. This is my third baby in 3 years so I know the drill of the appointments especially the first ones and my husband is completely against any genetic tests or screenings so we weren't worried about being 11 weeks or so until we could make the first appointment after Jan 1 when we changed insurance (specifically because it covered my oB) and that is when this turned into a complete nightmare. Now we are getting to the point where it's scary, I can't wait for my insurance to figure out the issue so we are just going to show up and see what happens. Wish me luck

SaphireSweetie88 · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline - I am sorry. I know that's rough. Hopefully things will smooth over soon!

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline If I could just have my mom without my dad, that would be freaking great. Although I'm not that close to her either because of everything that's gone on. She tended to side with my dad if I got involved, and I got/still am really resentful of it. It's hard for me. If I completely cut my parents out, I kind of lose the rest of my family too, because I'm not super close with anyone. It made me really lonely when I did it for awhile, and I decided to try to reconnect with my parents, thinking maybe as an adult that it could be better. It really isn't, and now I don't know what I'm going to do.

ginger1228 · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline - my father has a short fuse and freaks out about the dumbest things (example: he once took a taco shell and crushed it in my step mom's face - he didn't touch her face with it, just crushed it in his hand) and said "no one messes with my food" bc she bought a different kind of shell. His doctor has done a work up on him and he actually needed testosterone supplements (a shot, maybe) and that apparently helped a LOT. I don't think he takes them anymore though. I try not to talk to him much bc he's a horrible human being so I don't know a lot about it. Anyway, maybe it's something like that with your dad. Do you think he would ever get tested for things like that?

Cynth0104 · February 2017

My bitchfest: I woke up this morning feeling like crap. Major head cold and I can't take anything. On top of that, I'm going out of town for work this week and can't reschedule. Super frustrating when all I want to do is sleep.

My my husband got super drunk yesterday at a Super Bowl party and was very annoying. It's even worse when I am sober and have to deal with it. Ugh.

LoveLee85 · February 2017

I missed Monday by a few hours but I'm still here to bitch!

My little nephew started toddler part time pre k(it's 12 hours a week), and is constantly sick....and then we get it! Between pregnancy related sickness and symptoms, then the 3 massive colds I have had since November...I'm miserable. Day 3 of my poor toddler and I being sick as hell. It's horrible seeing my baby so sick with a high fever. I was so sick, I finally got out of bed last night and started my day at 3AM. So congested/coughing I can't even begin to sleep. UGH. I have never had such miserable sick months in my life!!!!!!!!!! I just want to enjoy this pregnancy, like I did my first, but I'm afraid the first day I will enjoy is my baby girls birth day. I want to cry I'm so stressed from my poor baby having nonstop colds. Not just the sniffles, full blown headcolds and doctor visits. Trying to keep him hydrated and eating is enough work on top of me being sick as hell, too. UGHHHHHHHH

PurplePoppy424 · February 2017

Sorry everyone. Yesterday was a cluster of a day.

I have tried to talk to them. It's just the way they are. Without going into too many details, they're known for being overly ridiculous. I'm not very close with MIL.

I did talk to SIL again and she completely gets it. She apologized and promised she wouldn't do it again. So there's at least that.

postywiththemosty · February 2017

@ginger1228 Wow! Poor taco shell.

I can recall at an early age my dad smashing a piggy bank I had against the wall because he was mad at my mom about something. It's crazy the things that stick with you because I couldn't have been more than 6 at the time.

I will definitely mention it. He's been to our family doctor once to get looked at because his moods got unbearable. She put him on a low dose of anxiety/depression medication to help stabilize his mood and it was really working for a while. I mentioned to my mom that his dose may need to be increased, so I'll bring that up also. Thanks for the help! He doesn't like going, but if we all collectively tell him it's a good idea he usually will give in. It took months just to get him on his medicine he's on now, but I'm going to give it a try.

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline I really hope the medicine can help your dad. For most people, therapy and medication can be absolutely wonderful and a huge help. Just a word of caution. My dad went to therapy and is on medication now, and it almost made him worse. The medicine works, but he feels entitled to act erratically now because "he's crazy". His words, not mine. So instead of it helping, it actually made him feel like he can act and do whatever he wants because he's "clinical" and everyone has to act differently around him and not use certain words because they "set him off". Honestly, he needs a better therapist and family support that would nip this in the butt, but my mom enables its, so it doesn't get fixed.

ginger1228 · February 2017

@maybeitsmadeline - good luck!! I want to say my dad might have also been on bipolar meds too. I can't remember it all. The piggy bank thing sounds familiar. When I was a kid and my room was too messy for his liking, he would dump out all my drawers and rip posters off the wall and make me clean it up. Basically he tore apart my entire room (when it wasn't even that bad - I just had a lot of stuff). That coming from a man who never once helped around the house. He was so hard to live with. Life got so much easier and less stressful after my parents divorced when I was in middle school.

stokesm21 · February 2017

@PurplePoppy424 That's just terrible. I'm sorry you're dealing with that! Even if your LO turns out to be a boy I really worry about how that is going to affect your DD. I just don't get why people care so much. They had their boy, what's the issue?! Ugh. You're a stronger woman than me haha! I would have said something about the toys for your DD and already spoken up about this baby too. You can either get on board or there's the door.

@SaphireSweetie88 I am the same. Although no one has ever done anything to my cats, I really hate it when people come into my house and act as if my cats don't belong there. One of my cats is a real man hater so people just come in and call him an asshole and stuff. He doesn't like you. You're in his space! Get over it! He can act however the frig he wants. My SMIL recently asked me (again!) to watch their dog while they go on vacation and the answer is going to be no. Their dog is great and well behaved and my cats don't "hate" her but they are just stressed out and put off when there's another animal in the house and I'm just done with making them feel uncomfortable in their own home. Their lives are about to change with baby and that's enough for this year haha!

supermom83 · February 2017

My bitch for the day: I woke up feeling some pains in my bladder and lower right area, and when I peed it was super cloudy. I called the doctor and got seen today, they took a urine sample, took some blood and even did an ultrasound to rule out a fibroid or something that could be causing me pain. The dip test for the urine came back negative, but they're sending it to the lab...but it's going to take 48 hours to get the results!! Everything checked out ok at the doctor office, but I'm still feeling the pains and still have to pee very frequently, I'm pretty sure it's a UTI, but now I have to wait 48 hours before I can get meds. Blah.

SaphireSweetie88 · February 2017

@supermom83 - Sorry to hear that. FX that it's nothing more than UTI

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@supermom83 I've had 3 UTI's, I'm so sorry you're going through it pregnant. Can you try some cranberry juice/cranberry pills? (no sugar added) That and just drinking an insane amount of liquid always helped me clear it faster. Or at least helped with some of the pain.

PurplePoppy424 · February 2017

@stokesm21 oh, believe me. I'm not strong. Lol. I have said things and not so nicely as well. They're just that incredible. I completely agree though. I wonder how they'll treat dd if this one is a boy.

ladybray · February 2017

Okay this is going to come across probably as crazy lady level and it is Tuesday but here it goes anyways.

My husband never finished his college degree. He is very smart but was not motivated, this eventually led to him dropping out after way too many years of goofing off. Now he is going back to school to finish his degree which is great. However, I have been extremely sick this pregnancy and the house is a disaster.

We have already had a conversation about how he has plenty of time to do his school stuff and help out a bit around the house before and after work. I don't have any sympathy for his lack of personal time right now because he spent that time goofing off in college. His household duties are dishes (they make me gag), cat boxes, and trash cans...and just helping out here and there when I am down and out. Yet he can't seem to handle that and is spending his time on the xbox.

I am literally sick trying to keep the toddler taken care of and the family in clean underwear... and he plays xbox. I try to ask him for more help and I get nothing.

PurplePoppy424 · February 2017

@ladybray Sounds like it's time for something to happen to the Xbox.....

That's ridiculous. I'm sorry.

squirttheturtle · February 2017

@ladybray I've threatened DH that I'll take away his controller if he doesn't get off his ass and help. If I give him a list and tell him he has to do at least the first 3 items (which I usually make the biggest most needed items) he'll get it done. He does do his own laundry and we don't have a toddler running around but I feel ya. Sometimes I think guys just don't see/care what we do...they really are the biggest children.

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@ladybray My DH is getting on my nerves too. For us, it's at least a little bit a problem of expectations. We've had a long standing agreement that if he works and I'm home I would do everything, but there are some things that I just can't do right now because I'm pregnant. So I ask him to do them, and he says yes, but it's going on days now that he still hasn't done things I've asked for. We've had so many fights/discussions about house work, and I'm trying to accommodate him and do it the way he asks (with prior warning and with "efficiency" considered) but it's not working for now. I'm about to go back into the trenches and talk to him about it again. He just doesn't care about it as much as I do, so that's part of it too. A note on the gaming: my husband is actually a game designer, and so gaming is a huge part of his life. We have had lots of discussions about what I need from him in terms of time and what he wants/needs to be happy. If you want any advice on that, let me know. I don't want to spiel into the whole thing unwarranted.

Mommyofcarson+1 · February 2017

@kerils, what kind of things do you ask him to do that you cannot do now?

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@CarsonsMommy Doing dishes if the smell of them sitting and soaking is too much for me. Put the Drano down the sink (again smell). Clean the cat box (toxoplasmosis). Carry the laundry baskets for me. The baskets aren't too heavy, I'm just klutzy and I'm afraid that they'll throw me off balance or I'll bump it into a wall and then into myself and possibly fall in the process. It's not anything major, just small stuff.

PurplePumpernickel · February 2017

I know it is Wednesday but OMG guys. I'm having first trimester nausea right now. Someone tell my baby that it is the size of a pickle and doesn't need to do this anymore.

BusyZee · February 2017

@PurplePumpernickel aaah I'm so sorry
(lemonade, choco milk, pumpkin seeds? Water?)maybe magnesium will help?:)

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