My UO is that I'm a bit bummed none of the grandparents have gotten anything for DS2. No I'm not talking about big gifts or anything like that, but just a cute onesie or a blankie. I think it's more so that no one has been very involved this pregnancy and kind of seems like they're not excited about the new baby. I may just be hormonal though...
I feel similarly. None of my family nor DH's has been very involved with this pregnancy at all. I try to just tell myself it's probably because they figure I've done this before and I've got it down, but it had kind of been a bummer. DD was the first granddaughter/niece for H's parents/siblings after 4 boys so it was all excitement and they bought her all the things. They never ask about this baby and haven't bought him a single thing. I'm honestly kind of hoping they don't bother trying to come visit in the hospital. I don't wanna be bitter so I just focus on the love and excitement DD, DH and I feel because that's all that really matters at the end of the day.
I don't think you guys are being gift grabby at all! When people buy things, even something little, it shows they are/were thinking of the baby or you and they went out of their way to get something for the baby. Like validation they are as excited as you. My younger brother bought pacifiers with our college on them because he saw them and I thought it was one of the sweetest things because I didn't think he gave a shit (we have like 8 nieces and nephews already). So totally justified!!
I won't even get started on lackluster in-laws. You've all heard quite enough. But I will leave that topic with: my SIL told me to be on the lookout for a package with a gift. Two months ago. I'm just not even gonna bother to ask her about it.
My UO is that I really hate when people use their kids/babies to press their own political agendas. I get it, it's your kid, do what you want. But it's so annoying. Give your kid a chance to form their own beliefs first before you slap a t-shirt on them with your own political message.
@Gretchypoo I don't think you sound gift grabby at all! I definitely see how it would be frustrating that your MIL only shows interest in the baby when it's about HER. And "gifts" don't have to even be something people spend money on - like your FIL's helping with the car. Or even just showing excitement. My mom doesn't have a lot of money, but she made the baby an awesome quilt and offered to come over and deep clean our kitchen and bathroom whenever we are ready. To me (and I am sure to you), just having people show they are excited and want to be there is what matters.
I would be annoyed if MIL complained there's nothing left to buy the baby when that's clearly not true; maybe she didn't want to buy the "boring" things that you mentioned (I mean, a crib mattress is necessary, but not very exciting). Again, that sounds like making it about her. Sorry you're dealing with ttat, but I am glad the other grandparents are showing interest!
@LivingLaVidaGinger i totally get what you are saying re:political opinions and babies, however my poor child is gonna have no choice. at least while he's a baby. when he's older obviously I will let him speak his own mind. dear lord i pray it mostly lines up with my beliefs. i'll be ok (i think) if it doesn't. but tolerance is something i feel super strongly about and it would kill me to have a judgmental child.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
@krob I feel the same way. My husband and I were talking the other day, and we are such liberals that it would be really fitting if our child was like Alex P Keaton on Family Ties.
@LivingLaVidaGinger yeah, I wouldn't bother. My mil "made" and was sending out sheets for dd. Well, dd is now almost 2 1/2 yrs old. So I don't think I'll be seeing those crib sheets. She also said she was sending something for ds for the start of school, but that was August. I just don't tell the kids anymore if she says she's sending something because who knows if it will actually happen. And it's not really about the gifts it's just that it makes me feel like they don't care about the kids. You can't tell me how you don't have a relationship with your grandkids when you don't make an effort at all. It's not about money. My parents have literally sent my son a card with stickers and a little package that had dollar store tissues with ninja turtles because they've made a relationship and knew he'd love it. But the in laws don't do anything or ask questions and then send things like sizes too small or too big etc and wonder why the kids don't know them or aren't using the stuff they got them. Drives me freaking crazy.
Thanks all, I feel really materialistic but it is just wanting her to have a connection to this kid that isn't abt her getting attention. *sigh* Baby will have 3 awesome grandparents who adore her. And as Meatloaf said "2 outta 3 ain't bad."
@LivingLaVidaGinger My babe already has a "tiny feminist" tee shirt.... I get what you're saying but I'm gonna brainwash her ;-)
@LivingLaVidaGinger my kid's "this is what a feminist looks like" onesie disagrees vehemently with your UO. Little dude is gonna be a woke bae from the day he is born. Whether he likes it or not.
Thanks all, I feel really materialistic but it is just wanting her to have a connection to this kid that isn't abt her getting attention. *sigh*
^^ this. It's not about material items but a connection. I'm sure you'd be happy with even a simple gesture like others have said about offering to help clean or come over to help etc. just showing interest instead of "look at me I'm going to be a grandparent."
Thanks all, I feel really materialistic but it is just wanting her to have a connection to this kid that isn't abt her getting attention. *sigh*
^^ this. It's not about material items but a connection. I'm sure you'd be happy with even a simple gesture like others have said about offering to help clean or come over to help etc. just showing interest instead of "look at me I'm going to be a grandparent."
I get you.
Completely this! Its not that i want anything from my inlaws but a small gesture would be appreciated, it was the same with our wedding. Again, i wasnt looking for anything from them but we didnt so much as get a card from my mil & its just such a stark contrast to my own family (immediate & extended) that it feels like rhey dont really care. Same with birthdays, my husband buys them all gifts etc but gets nothing from them for his, it makes me feel bad for him & makes me cross, like they dont appreciate him enough to acknowledge him.
Re: UO Thursday 2/2
My UO is that I really hate when people use their kids/babies to press their own political agendas. I get it, it's your kid, do what you want. But it's so annoying. Give your kid a chance to form their own beliefs first before you slap a t-shirt on them with your own political message.
I would be annoyed if MIL complained there's nothing left to buy the baby when that's clearly not true; maybe she didn't want to buy the "boring" things that you mentioned (I mean, a crib mattress is necessary, but not very exciting). Again, that sounds like making it about her. Sorry you're dealing with ttat, but I am glad the other grandparents are showing interest!
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
What are babies for if not adorable propoganda
@LivingLaVidaGinger My babe already has a "tiny feminist" tee shirt.... I get what you're saying but I'm gonna brainwash her ;-)
I get you.