Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: TTCAL Weekly Check-In Week of 1/30/17
@sp128 if you get a chance to see FGL do it! That may have been one of the best concerts I've been to
@TScalei hugs to you
1) Twin MC May '15, TTC since August '15
2) Benched due to Zika exposure, IUI #1 in Feb
3) Rant - my first benched cycle has to be insanely long, of course. And FF isn't even sure when I ovulated. I had cd24 and then today it moved to cd26. Rave - IUI #1 should happen during school break so I can be nice and relaxed when it happens.
4)I would've loved to see Michael Jackson! But now I'd love to see Casting Crowns
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
@Mack2342 and @nalex420 Waiting definitely sucks. FX it goes quickly for you.
@SP128 You still have plenty of time to O. FX for a positive OPK soon. Also, your birthday weekend sounds fabulous.
@reneeannemm My H loves Sufjan Stevens, especially the Carrie and Lowell album. We even saw him in concert (although I can't remember which album). I'm hit or miss. I like his older stuff, but the discordant music with electronic lights felt light an assault on my eyeballs and ear drums. H better appreciate my attendance as the act of love it was... Lol.
@TScalei Sorry for the blah feelings. I recommend cuddling your adorable pup as a remedy.
@vlagrl29 I got off of FB after my first MC because of all the triggers. I've actually gone back to FB in the last couple months precisely because of politics. I don't want to bring politics on this board too much, since this is a safe space for so many women, although I could rant for a long time. Suffice it to say, my husband is an immigrant - he's here on a green card. Thankfully he's not affected by the recent ban, but it made it painfully clear how easily his status could be ripped away. I have a personal stake in how the next four years play out, and I live with daily fear about my family's safety and security. I've even questioned whether we should bring a child into this environment, that's how great my fear is. Seeing the activism on FB makes me feel less alone. I'll get off my soapbox now.
@justsuzie Sorry for the insensitive and ignorant co-workers. I loved your response though.
@amberruka I'm glad your back is feeling better!
@hdaley That is so incredibly ridiculous of your work to say that. GL with looking for another job. I'd be doing that too.
@pumpkin0913 Congrats on fitting in exercise! I should go to the gym more, but even walking my dog is a stress reliever.
@ladipale I'm so so incredibly sorry for your loss and to see you back here. I'm glad you are surrounded by so much love and support. Biggest hugs.
@Uhlease13 I'm planning on testing Saturday too! I'm feeling the itch to test on Friday, but I'm trying to hold off. Seeing so many BFNs the last two cycles sucked so bad, I want to avoid that guessing game.
@NYTino24 I feel you on TTGP. I lurk there occasionally, but between the drive bys and the super naive newbies, I just get too upset.
@MimoCa I hope business picks up for you soon. You deserve to catch a break in life.
@babypi Feel better soon!
Has anyone else suffered a loss after 14 weeks? My milk has come in which just adds insult to the whole ordeal.
I'm back at work today, kind of. Just for a few hours - interacted with a few students but heading back home soon.
@RiverSong15 - I am also on FB as a distraction. I am a climate change scientist so this administration scares me in a different way than it does for you, but still frightening. i can't sit idly and not say stuff so i post about climate change and science all the time. Also - considering I just had a D&E, which is technically an abortion - the woman's rights stuff is just awful.
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
My H and I are both scientists, and I do a lot of environmental work. So we share the same fears about climate change. Immigration is just the most personal issue for me, but I definitely have worries outside of that issue. Hugs for you this week
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
2. WTO and it's killing me. I just want a normal cycle so I can get back on this wagon.
3. I decided to start exercising again and focusing on getting on shape as a way to distract myself from all the waiting. I'm ok weightwise but good grief my.muscles are mush.
4. I honestly don't know. My kids adore The Piano Guys so maybe them.
2. Status -WTO, TWW, Benched No idea, possibly WTO but meeting with our doctor next week so I'll know more then.
3. ****TW****DS stayed in his own bed the past 2 nights! The past few months he has been waking up between 3am-5am and coming into our bed. I'm thankful he goes back to sleep with us, but it's so much more comfortable without him!****END*TW****
4. GTKY: If you could see any musician or band perform live, who would it be and why?
I don't know. I'm not a huge fan of overly loud music and being so close to people!
@ladipale - Im sorry you are feeling postpartum on top of everything else. I hope you begin to feel more like yourself soon.
@SeriouslySirius - Im so sorry for your loss. Welcome to our Board.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
I'm inclined to think you ovulated on Day 19 because of your major temp shift on Day 20 and the fact you had positive OPKs two days prior. Your pre-O temps in that case look similar to mine and my temps always rise to 98 degrees or higher after O (like yours did on Day 20). I typically O on CD 19. If that's the case, you'd be on DPO 6 today.
Perhaps your body was gearing up to O around CD 11 when you had positive OPKs, but then didn't?
So frustrating when it messes with you like that!
Edit: have you tried any of the other detector settings? FAM or research? They give me different answers sometimes when the Advanced detector is being weird.
Also, not to feed the crazy, but you can always put in a dummy high temp tomorrow to see what FF does. Not that I've ever done that around O time before...
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
I'm currently benched. My post op appointment with my OB is tomorrow. I never thought to ask her about TTC when we learned of the MC and discussed the D&C. I don't imagine she wouldn't recommend TTC. Other than age (I'll be 35 in a few weeks, DH is almost 40) we're healthy, active people... but I'm still nervous. I'm also still waiting for AF. Who knew that after months of seeing red blood and wishing it away I'd be wishing to see it now.
My rant/rave is one in the same. Because of the SCH I had been benched from working out for months. I've been back at the gym-hard- for a few weeks now. It feels great. Today's kettlebell class kicked my ass and I'm exhausted. But today I learned my kettlebell instructor is pregnant. My BFF (who takes the class with me) found out a few weeks ago and waited to tell me. I didn't have the heart to ask when she's due because- judging by her just starting to appear bloated belly- I have a pretty good idea.
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
@NYTino24 I would say CD 19. I'm not great at interpreting charts since I'm pretty new to it but if you were only charting on paper you would assume 19 with the temp spike and return of + opk
@BelhurstBride sorry about being blindsided with the instructors news. The day of my loss I logged onto FB to let a group of friends know and the first thing that popped up was a friends announcement. So now we are literally the only married ones in that group that's not pregnant right now. It sucks being blindsided by things and then having that constant reminder there all the time.
@BelhurstBride My zumba instructor is due the same month I was due : ( It is so difficult to go to class sometimes. Last week, another Zumba instructor through out that she wanted to do a cake for the other one to celebrate the baby. I'm praying I get a heads up so I know not to show up.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
@BelhurstBride @SP128 it stings so bad to hear announcements and especially ones around the same timing
Me.30 DH.31
BFP 2/3/17...edd 10/13/17
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
My follow up appointment went well. Still has no idea what caused the loss. (We had NIPT done and know it wasn't chromosomal.) No idea if it'll happen again. "It's incredibly rare for loss to happen after seeing the HB, even more after the 1st tri." That type of conversation.
She gave us the green light to try again whenever we're ready. She said she'll handle the next (hopeful) pregnancy however I'd like her to. All the tests and all of the u/s, or relaxed and laid back. (Her usual way.) I don't yet know what I'm going to want/need.
I've started spotting, so I assume my period is getting ready to start. Which means if my cycle is remotely close to normal I'll be all set to ovulate the week I'm in Florida- without DH. :angry fist:
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18