Doula Thread

luckywife10 · January 2017

Thinking about hiring a doula to attend your birth? Had a doula attend a previous birth? Questions/rants/raves about doula? What was your doual's fee? Feel free to post anything related to doulas!

luckywife10 · January 2017

H and I met with a doula and I really like her. H isn't sold on the idea of having a doula at the birth though. Part of his reservation is the doula fee, which is $1000. My insurance won't cover any of that cost either. I think hiring this doula is worth the cost because she has a lot of experience and comes highly recommended. I would love to have a natural birth so having an advocate there to make sure the hospital doesn't try to do something we don't want is very important to H and I. If something unexpected does come up it would be nice to have someone there who can explain everything and help us through an emergency. Thoughts? I've done quite a bit of reading about natural birth, but is there anything else I should read/do to prepare for natural birth if we don't have a doula?

nda_roxybabe · January 2017

I've considered it, but am not going to. I don't want to have an additional out of pocket cost and honestly? I'm not sure how natural I'll go.

jayandaplus · January 2017

@luckywife10 I think there's a great benefit to having a doula, especially if you want a specific type of birth. They are great advocates. One thing I'm doing that I read about somewhere and loved was birth affirmations. I'm writing them on cardstock or post its to put in the room during the birth, to remind me of what I want for the birth and to help me remember my body can do this.

I'm giving birth at a birth center with midwives, so a "natural" birth is pretty much all they do and par for the course. We are foregoing a doula during the birth because of where we're delivering, but are getting a postpartum doula for the next month after birth. We are in the process of looking now.

I'm still making my birth plan. Anyone have suggestions on where to look at sample birth plans for a natural birth?

SKZW · January 2017

@luckywife10: Thank you for starting this thread!

@jayandaplus: I love the idea of affirmations! I'll also keep my eye out for sample birth plans during my Web travels.

I saw this Q&A one doula's website and wanted to share:

"Does a doula take over the role of my husband/partner?
A doula provides comfort and knowledge to not only a laboring mother but also her partner. With the support of a doula, a partner is able to know how best they are able to help as well as have assurance everything is going smoothly. Not only is this support good for the partners confidence, but it is vital for a laboring mom when environment is everything."

This aspect really hits home for me. When I delivered my son, my husband was a total rock star. He stayed in the room with me the entire 20 hours, barely taking a break for himself; my legs were completely useless from the epidural, and I couldn't shift my weight to readjust myself, so he was the one who lugged/lifted me up so many times (nurse couldn't); and he held my hair back during all the throwing up. I wouldn't want anyone else to take his place, ever, nor this time either.

But: Like someone else mentioned, we were like deer in the headlights going through that together for the first time. Even though we took the childbirth prep classes, there were a lot of terminology/interventions/medications that we were clueless about, and I hated feeling that way. If there were someone else there, like a doula, who was knowledgeable, whom we could trust, who was there specifically for us (because we're paying her!) without a hospital employment hindering her opinions/outlook/feedback/interpretations, then we'd have a leg up from last time.

And even if it all went horribly sideways between us and her services weren't giving us what we needed, at the bare minimum there'd be another set of hands for running and getting drinks, taking photos, bathroom breaks, etc. (since it's just me and my hubbs, there's no family/friend that could fill this role the whole time). That's my pessimism coming through, but hopefully you see my point. I want to staff my corner of the ring with someone who has more childbirth experience than I, who can point out those things that I'm just not seeing/hearing/able to comprehend because I'm in labor. Someone to give my hubbs the support he needs, too, to say he's doing a good job or to offer suggestions on ways he could assist me differently or to simply give the poor guy a break.

I suggest to check out the DONA website if you're interested in reading further (it's the org that trains and certifies doulas): https://www.dona.org/
and I also recently came across this resource: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/the-evidence-for-doulas/

Thanks for letting me add my perspective! I'd love to hear about anyone else's experiences with working with a doula.

mdlorenz · January 2017

We had a doula for DD's birth and it was absolutely wonderful to have her there. Calm presence, extra hands, someone to take photos, and an encouraging voice when my mind was totally taken over by labor and I felt alone and that I couldn't keep going.

I had had strong feelings about working towards a low-intervention birth (unless intervention was truly indicated). My provider (a family doc) was excellent at reserving intervention only when we were stuck. Thankfully baby and I were doing fine the whole time and nothing needed to happen urgently. Our doula's role was really about "holding the space" - reading my provider, knowing when I had time to consider my options, then reminding me I could take some time to think about the decision.

My labor lasted a long time, and our doula came to our house for a large part of it then followed us to the hospital - the in-hospital length of labor was about 24 hours and everyone's help was needed to get through that!

I seem to remember that her fee was around $600-700 which included a couple of prenatal meetings to get to know us and our ideal approach / preferences, her time during the labor and birth (totally got my money's worth here!), and a postpartum visit where she brought food, herbs for sits baths, and lots of encouragement.

I agree with checking out the DONA site, as well as asking around in mom groups, La Leche League meetings (you can go while you're pregnant to scope out the vibe and get recommendations about things like this), and perhaps even your provider (though many unfortunately have biases against doulas who they see as adversarial - NOT the goal of 95% of the doulas I've met and worked alongside). If cost is a deal-breaker, newer doulas often have lower fees, and some doulas have sliding scale arrangements.

jayandaplus · January 2017

Since this thread kind of died, I'm hesitant to start one but I would love some more "natural mama" input!

What other "crunchy" things are you researching or into? (We've kind of discussed amber necklaces in another thread.) I mean, what can we discuss along the lines of essential oils, baby led weaning, organic or natural products you LOVE?

Along the lines of a doula, I just discovered postpartum sitz baths/herbal teas. Any other birth or postpartum ideas, tips, things you plan to try?

RainyDays86 · January 2017

@jayandaplus I did baby led weaning with DS and highly recommend it. I think it helped him be a better eater and also develop his fine motor skills. I know we've discussed it a bit in other threads but for anyone who is interested I would recommending getting the book Baby Led Weaning and reading it a month or so before your LO is getting ready to start eating solids. It's not hard at all but the book will help prepare you to just start doing.

psherman42wwsa · January 2017

jayandaplus said:

Since this thread kind of died, I'm hesitant to start one but I would love some more "natural mama" input!

What other "crunchy" things are you researching or into? (We've kind of discussed amber necklaces in another thread.) I mean, what can we discuss along the lines of essential oils, baby led weaning, organic or natural products you LOVE?

Along the lines of a doula, I just discovered postpartum sitz baths/herbal teas. Any other birth or postpartum ideas, tips, things you plan to try?

I'm interested in using natural and organic things for my child. However, I haven't really found any products that I love. I do like the babganics vapor bath... I haven't ever used essential oils on my child because I am not sure about the amounts/potency of them. If your mixing them at home it could potentially be dangerous. I've tried babganics/honest/seventh generation diapers/wipes and honestly I don't feel that they are worth the added cost.

We did feed him all organic baby food. I liked the plum organics, they have a nice variety/mixtures of food. Now that he is a toddler its harder to do and he has a mix of organic/non organic.

jayandaplus · January 2017

@RainyDays86 This book? Thanks!

nda_roxybabe · January 2017

@jayandaplus I currently use essentials oils and plan on using them during labor and eventually for baby. I'm not 100% sure which and how, but yea. I do have a diffuser for the nursery so we will do that at night for sure. I plan on doing BLW as well. Um..I picked a natural laundry soap as well as baby soaps and lotions.

I'm not sure what this would fall under, but I'm really hoping to do mostly Montessori style toys for baby. Lots of hand crafted, wooden, soft plush, etc. My hope is to stay away from a lot of the fisher price plastic/ noisy type stuff. I know there will be items I end up buying or that baby receives, but that's my hope right now.

jayandaplus · January 2017

@nda_roxybabe I'm all about the "Montessori" items as well. We put only fabric or wooden toys on the registry. Aside from staying away from plastic, I want basic toys, versus ones that are overstimulating with too much going on. I also use oils. Let me know if you find anything you love!

nda_roxybabe · January 2017

jayandaplus said:

@nda_roxybabe I'm all about the "Montessori" items as well. We put only fabric or wooden toys on the registry. Aside from staying away from plastic, I want basic toys, versus ones that are overstimulating with too much going on. I also use oils. Let me know if you find anything you love!

Exactly! I watch SIL's crunchy little San Francisco girls play and that's what I want. Lots of imagination in conjunction with the basic toys. I love the creativity of it all. I have the wooden baby gym from Ikea as well as several toys from Anthropologie on the registry. Also loving Under The Nile plus fruits/ veggies. We will see what baby thinks, haha. Let me know if you find anything you love too!

livin541 · January 2017

We definitely started out with the wooden type toys and I really tried to stick with that as much as possible. I consider myself fairly "crunchy" (baby wearing, part time cloth dipes, co-sleeping, etc) but my son still ended up with his fair share of loud, annoying toys (thanks grandparents and other friends! Ha!) I will say though, he has one of the best imaginations ever; it's one of my favorite things about him! I think a lot of that is due to how much I've read to him since the beginning

nda_roxybabe · January 2017

livin541 said:

We definitely started out with the wooden type toys and I really tried to stick with that as much as possible. I consider myself fairly "crunchy" (baby wearing, part time cloth dipes, co-sleeping, etc) but my son still ended up with his fair share of loud, annoying toys (thanks grandparents and other friends! Ha!) I will say though, he has one of the best imaginations ever; it's one of my favorite things about him! I think a lot of that is due to how much I've read to him since the beginning

Reading is so important! I keep meaning to start reading to the bump every night. Once they're born, for sure. We love books! I know we'll end up getting the loud toys and that's okay. Just going to try to keep it as minimized as possible (ha)

RainyDays86 · January 2017

Ok I have a really dumb question - how does one use essential oils? I recently got a diffuser and I have been running that in the kitchen but I was thinking about moving it to my bedroom. I'm using oils with anti-cancer properties. I am all about science and evidence-based medicine but I'm also willing to try anything and everything that might help, even a little. Is there anything else I should be doing? Any safety concerns while pregnant with having a diffuser in our bedroom for an hour or two while we sleep?

psherman42wwsa · January 2017

I don't think there is any concern about using the oils with a diffuser. You just need to be careful when applying to the skin since the oils obviously aren't regulated by the FDA. Some oils should not be used during pregnancy because they may cause contractions.

nda_roxybabe · January 2017

RainyDays86 said:

Ok I have a really dumb question - how does one use essential oils? I recently got a diffuser and I have been running that in the kitchen but I was thinking about moving it to my bedroom. I'm using oils with anti-cancer properties. I am all about science and evidence-based medicine but I'm also willing to try anything and everything that might help, even a little. Is there anything else I should be doing? Any safety concerns while pregnant with having a diffuser in our bedroom for an hour or two while we sleep?

We use our diffuser in our bedroom most nights for anywhere from 2 hours to all night long. H used to call it all "snake oil", but he loves the way it smells and noticed some of the respiratory ones helped with his cold. We'll diffuse everything from peppermint, eucalyptus, lavender, "Breathe", citrus bliss (his fave), wild orange, lemon, "On Guard", "Peace"....

I believe (not positive!) you should be able to diffuse any while pregnant. You can also apply oils topically or even in water (you do need to check which ones and make sure they're okay for pregnancy). I use lavender for burns and calming, peppermint for headaches, melaluca/tea tree oil for cuts, "Digestzen"/ lemon/ peppermint/ lavender in water...

I totally sound like a hippie, but really I just like the smells/tastes and I have noticed medicinal sorts of benefits (soothing burns and ingrowns, cuts...)!

jayandaplus · January 2017

@RainyDays86 So there are oils you should avoid in pregnancy. Diffusion is the safest form. If you apply topically, use a carrier oil to dilute.

Anyone know anything about the safety of candles? I feel like I read somewhere they aren't safe to inhale.

psherman42wwsa · January 2017

jayandaplus said:

@RainyDays86 So there are oils you should avoid in pregnancy. Diffusion is the safest form. If you apply topically, use a carrier oil to dilute.

Anyone know anything about the safety of candles? I feel like I read somewhere they aren't safe to inhale.

what would make a candle unsafe to inhale?

psherman42wwsa · January 2017

I found this but I think its pretty extreme...

"Unfortunately, freshening a room with a few scented candles made from paraffin wax also can be damaging. When fragrance oils are incorporated into paraffin candles, they produce more soot and can even release carcinogens such as benzene and toluene. If you rely on candles to de-stress, use safer soy candles (they're widely available online), which tend to burn without emitting harmful chemicals. Or, instead of candles, consider a vase of fresh, sweet-smelling flowers."

rebecca517-2 · January 2017

I'm right there with you ladies on a lot of these topics and find this thread very helpful. I plan to cloth diaper, baby wear, buy wood/plush toys and use essential oils. I'm still trying to decide which natural/organic products we'll use for bath/wipes/laundry. Anyone have experience or opinions on wipes? seventh gen,water wipes, etc..
I have read a lot about the chemicals in most candles and try to stick to soy candles or just diffuse EO.

nda_roxybabe · January 2017

Rebecca517 said:

I'm right there with you ladies on a lot of these topics and find this thread very helpful. I plan to cloth diaper, baby wear, buy wood/plush toys and use essential oils. I'm still trying to decide which natural/organic products we'll use for bath/wipes/laundry. Anyone have experience or opinions on wipes? seventh gen,water wipes, etc..
I have read a lot about the chemicals in most candles and try to stick to soy candles or just diffuse EO.

I've wondered about wipes. I bought a pack of Seventh Gen as well as a pack of Pampers Sensitive and then I keep receiving various free samples. I think I'm just going to do w/e (most likely unscented) for wipes.
I like to use Mrs. Meyers laundry soap, so I'm going to buy the Baby one and the whole family will use that. H and I just tested the Seventh Gen baby and it's been fine.

RainyDays86 · January 2017

Ooooo, I thought of another recommendation for you crunchy ladies

. Did anyone formula feed? I realize that breastfeeding is more in line with what we're discussing here but I'll have to stop around 4 weeks for more treatment and I know nothing about formula and it kind of scares me (DS was breastfed for a year and never had formula). Any recommendations would be much appreciated!

livin541 · January 2017

Rebecca517 said:

I'm right there with you ladies on a lot of these topics and find this thread very helpful. I plan to cloth diaper, baby wear, buy wood/plush toys and use essential oils. I'm still trying to decide which natural/organic products we'll use for bath/wipes/laundry. Anyone have experience or opinions on wipes? seventh gen,water wipes, etc..
I have read a lot about the chemicals in most candles and try to stick to soy candles or just diffuse EO.

We usually stick with seventh generation wipes, I like them and they are often on sale/cartwheel at Target. We also bounce to Honest and Water Wipes sometimes, depending on what's the best deal. They all seem to be pretty similar to me. We also use Honest or Seventh Generation laundry detergent, with Mrs Meyers scent boost.

nda_roxybabe · January 2017

RainyDays86 said:

Ooooo, I thought of another recommendation for you crunchy ladies . Did anyone formula feed? I realize that breastfeeding is more in line with what we're discussing here but I'll have to stop around 4 weeks for more treatment and I know nothing about formula and it kind of scares me (DS was breastfed for a year and never had formula). Any recommendations would be much appreciated!

Obviously I haven't done this yet, but I've heard good things about the Honest Co. and Earth something formulas.

SKZW · January 2017

Re formula: there are government standards for the nutritional content, and they really are standardized across the board, as far as makeup goes. That said, there might be some companies that have better (more green) business practices that might make them more appealing. (P.S. Interestingly, a ton of various brands of formula are all created in the same manufacturing plant! For some, it's the same recipe just labelled differently.)

Baby's tastes come into play, too. I BF'd for 9 months and used formula to get him to that 1-year mark. We used maybe Enfamil for awhile, then switched to the store brand, for cost, and only tried it three times b/c he wasn't a fan.

JCWhitey · February 2017

I'm a certified herbalist, aromatherapist, and doula. So, obviously I have a lot of crunchy tools that I use. I hesitate to suggest anything because used wrong they can do more harm than good. But I will say that I'm pretty sure I just stopped some early contractions with cramp bark and black haw.

psherman42wwsa · February 2017

I typically use the seventh generation wipes partly because I always get good deals on them From Amazon and partly because I really like them. They are nice and thick compared to pampers that are my least favorite.

jayandaplus · February 2017

I love this website: https://gimmethegoodstuff.org/safe-product-guides/

I will warn you, it may make you afraid of some products you already use/plan to use. She goes over wipesandformula, among other items.

emilyalso · February 2017

I don't know how crunchy this company is, but I want to put in a big plug for Usborne Books and More. I know we all get FB party invites - and probably dread them - but if you are ever invited to one of these parties, their books are AWESOME! They have something for every stage, and DS (14 mos) honestly seems to prefer them over a lot of his other books.

nda_roxybabe · February 2017

emilyalso said:

I don't know how crunchy this company is, but I want to put in a big plug for Usborne Books and More. I know we all get FB party invites - and probably dread them - but if you are ever invited to one of these parties, their books are AWESOME! They have something for every stage, and DS (14 mos) honestly seems to prefer them over a lot of his other books.

My SIL sold them for a while and is now selling off her inventory. I'm pretty sure she plans on incorporating them into my shower, so I'll hopefully be getting lots of books! I love their "Thats not my..." books and they do have great stuff for all stages.

livin541 · February 2017

Another "crunchy" topic that I recommend highly is getting your placenta encapsulated. I went 10 days overdue last time and had a looooot of time to kill. I ended up researching it and tried it in an effort to help balance hormones and keep PPD at bay. I have no experience to compare it to of course, but I really think it gave me a ton more energy and helped keep me more "level." Definitely going to do it again!

ETA: I used the wrong form of to, basic grammar fail.

jayandaplus · February 2017

I'm all for placental encapsulation @livin541.

Here's a question: What about delayed newborn interventions (given you medically can)?
-Are you doing erythromycin eye ointment? Vitamin K injection (or other Vitamin K, i.e. orally?) Delay hepatitis B until 1-2 years old?
-Delayed cord clamping?
-Keeping vernix on the baby/not giving a bath right away?

SKZW · February 2017

@jayandaplus: I need to give some thought to your questions... those are things I haven't considered/looked into yet... thx for bringing up those issues!

Maybe I should mention this on the c-section thread, but relatedly: have you heard about the swab technique that more providers are offering? If you have a baby via c-s, they swab your vag and then rub it over the baby's nostrils and mouth (not some gross goopy thing either, just a quick swab over), and it replicates the beneficial action of the baby moving through the birth canal, picking up mama's immunity, etc. So interesting!

jayandaplus · February 2017

@SKZW Yes, I have heard of that. I've even heard of requesting gauze be placed in the vagina for a full hour, then swiped over baby after delivery. You can put that in your birth plan.

nda_roxybabe · February 2017

jayandaplus said:

I'm all for placental encapsulation @livin541.

Here's a question: What about delayed newborn interventions (given you medically can)?
-Are you doing erythromycin eye ointment? Vitamin K injection (or other Vitamin K, i.e. orally?) Delay hepatitis B until 1-2 years old?
-Delayed cord clamping?
-Keeping vernix on the baby/not giving a bath right away?

1. I'm going to research more, but as of now I will allow the eye ointment. Vitamin K injection we will do. We will not delay Hep B.
2. We will be doing delayed cord clamping.
3. No bath right away, keeping the vernix on for a bit.

psherman42wwsa · February 2017

I've now spent so much time looking at formulas my head is spinning after looking at that website gimmethegoodstuff... I plan to breastfeed again but I know its always good to have some formula on hand just incase I need it. It seems like a lot of the organic websites recommend HiPP or HOLLE formula but its from Germany and not regulated in the U.S. I don't think I can bring myself to purchase something that's not regulated in the U.S. However, all of the other brands seem to contain ingredients that are not desirable. Has anyone else been looking into this yet?

jayandaplus · February 2017

@nda_roxybabe Do you mind sharing why you're doing the erythromycin, vitamin K, and hep B? (I only ask because you seem to research your decisions and don't seem to mind sharing often.) I'm leaning towards no on all fronts, but would love to hear more from the other side, because I'm not sold either way.

@lrwardrop I know, that website had me in a tailspin, too. Here's my thought on FDA: it's not nearly as foolproof as people think it is. In medicine, we are constantly changing our minds about what is considered safe or a first line treatment. For a tiny example, for a LONG time zofran (ondansetron) was thought to be almost perfectly safe in pregnant woman, was given out like candy, and was even promoted as a good alternative to morning sickness. Now, this is changing and doctors and practices are moving away from zofran to other medications on the market. Here's my thoughts on things like Holle and HiPP: just because it's not regulated by the FDA doesn't mean it wouldn't be. These are not American brands, so maybe they have no desire to try moving into our market. Also, they are regulated by mandates in their respective countries, just not ours. The companies are fairly transparent about their ingredients and process, so it seems to me there's nothing to hide. The fact that they don't use ingredients that are concerning to me in the US (ingredients the FDA allows, nonetheless) tells me that maybe they can be trusted.

I can't bring myself to buy formula, for one because of the above issue (which one to buy?) but also because it makes me feel like I'm already telling myself I may not be able to EBF. I can't mentally go there this early.

nda_roxybabe · February 2017

@jayandaplus TBH, I haven't done a ton of research on those 3. I am more so following SIL's lead. The Hep B I probably wont change my mind on as I'm very traditional regarding vaccines.

bubsalicious · February 2017

1. I will be getting all 3 done. Erythromyin (this one recently changed to yes because of things I learned while in school) because there are so many things that can get in through the eyes that would have no affect on you and I, but could be deadly for a newborn. Vitamin K because the infant liver will not be able to properly clot blood for quite sometime and the Vit K will do this for baby. I definitely don't want the smallest thing to cause baby to bleed to death. Hep B because I am traditional in vaccinations and this one is becoming one of the more required ones wherever you go.
2. Delayed cord clamping, I don't plan on doing. I'm not overly convinced that there are huge pros to doing this
3. Bath after birth

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