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May 2017 Moms
luckywife10
member
Doula Thread
luckywife10
member
Thinking about hiring a doula to attend your birth? Had a doula attend a previous birth? Questions/rants/raves about doula? What was your doual's fee? Feel free to post anything related to doulas!
Re: Doula Thread
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
I'm giving birth at a birth center with midwives, so a "natural" birth is pretty much all they do and par for the course. We are foregoing a doula during the birth because of where we're delivering, but are getting a postpartum doula for the next month after birth. We are in the process of looking now.
I'm still making my birth plan. Anyone have suggestions on where to look at sample birth plans for a natural birth?
@jayandaplus: I love the idea of affirmations! I'll also keep my eye out for sample birth plans during my Web travels.
I saw this Q&A one doula's website and wanted to share:
"Does a doula take over the role of my husband/partner?
A doula provides comfort and knowledge to not only a laboring mother but also her partner. With the support of a doula, a partner is able to know how best they are able to help as well as have assurance everything is going smoothly. Not only is this support good for the partners confidence, but it is vital for a laboring mom when environment is everything."
This aspect really hits home for me. When I delivered my son, my husband was a total rock star. He stayed in the room with me the entire 20 hours, barely taking a break for himself; my legs were completely useless from the epidural, and I couldn't shift my weight to readjust myself, so he was the one who lugged/lifted me up so many times (nurse couldn't); and he held my hair back during all the throwing up. I wouldn't want anyone else to take his place, ever, nor this time either.
But: Like someone else mentioned, we were like deer in the headlights going through that together for the first time. Even though we took the childbirth prep classes, there were a lot of terminology/interventions/medications that we were clueless about, and I hated feeling that way. If there were someone else there, like a doula, who was knowledgeable, whom we could trust, who was there specifically for us (because we're paying her!) without a hospital employment hindering her opinions/outlook/feedback/interpretations, then we'd have a leg up from last time.
And even if it all went horribly sideways between us and her services weren't giving us what we needed, at the bare minimum there'd be another set of hands for running and getting drinks, taking photos, bathroom breaks, etc. (since it's just me and my hubbs, there's no family/friend that could fill this role the whole time). That's my pessimism coming through, but hopefully you see my point. I want to staff my corner of the ring with someone who has more childbirth experience than I, who can point out those things that I'm just not seeing/hearing/able to comprehend because I'm in labor. Someone to give my hubbs the support he needs, too, to say he's doing a good job or to offer suggestions on ways he could assist me differently or to simply give the poor guy a break.
I suggest to check out the DONA website if you're interested in reading further (it's the org that trains and certifies doulas): https://www.dona.org/
and I also recently came across this resource: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/the-evidence-for-doulas/
Thanks for letting me add my perspective! I'd love to hear about anyone else's experiences with working with a doula.
I had had strong feelings about working towards a low-intervention birth (unless intervention was truly indicated). My provider (a family doc) was excellent at reserving intervention only when we were stuck. Thankfully baby and I were doing fine the whole time and nothing needed to happen urgently. Our doula's role was really about "holding the space" - reading my provider, knowing when I had time to consider my options, then reminding me I could take some time to think about the decision.
My labor lasted a long time, and our doula came to our house for a large part of it then followed us to the hospital - the in-hospital length of labor was about 24 hours and everyone's help was needed to get through that!
I seem to remember that her fee was around $600-700 which included a couple of prenatal meetings to get to know us and our ideal approach / preferences, her time during the labor and birth (totally got my money's worth here!), and a postpartum visit where she brought food, herbs for sits baths, and lots of encouragement.
I agree with checking out the DONA site, as well as asking around in mom groups, La Leche League meetings (you can go while you're pregnant to scope out the vibe and get recommendations about things like this), and perhaps even your provider (though many unfortunately have biases against doulas who they see as adversarial - NOT the goal of 95% of the doulas I've met and worked alongside). If cost is a deal-breaker, newer doulas often have lower fees, and some doulas have sliding scale arrangements.
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What other "crunchy" things are you researching or into? (We've kind of discussed amber necklaces in another thread.) I mean, what can we discuss along the lines of essential oils, baby led weaning, organic or natural products you LOVE?
Along the lines of a doula, I just discovered postpartum sitz baths/herbal teas. Any other birth or postpartum ideas, tips, things you plan to try?
I'm interested in using natural and organic things for my child. However, I haven't really found any products that I love. I do like the babganics vapor bath... I haven't ever used essential oils on my child because I am not sure about the amounts/potency of them. If your mixing them at home it could potentially be dangerous. I've tried babganics/honest/seventh generation diapers/wipes and honestly I don't feel that they are worth the added cost.
We did feed him all organic baby food. I liked the plum organics, they have a nice variety/mixtures of food. Now that he is a toddler its harder to do and he has a mix of organic/non organic.
I'm not sure what this would fall under, but I'm really hoping to do mostly Montessori style toys for baby. Lots of hand crafted, wooden, soft plush, etc. My hope is to stay away from a lot of the fisher price plastic/ noisy type stuff. I know there will be items I end up buying or that baby receives, but that's my hope right now.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
I believe (not positive!) you should be able to diffuse any while pregnant. You can also apply oils topically or even in water (you do need to check which ones and make sure they're okay for pregnancy). I use lavender for burns and calming, peppermint for headaches, melaluca/tea tree oil for cuts, "Digestzen"/ lemon/ peppermint/ lavender in water...
I totally sound like a hippie, but really I just like the smells/tastes and I have noticed medicinal sorts of benefits (soothing burns and ingrowns, cuts...)!
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Anyone know anything about the safety of candles? I feel like I read somewhere they aren't safe to inhale.
what would make a candle unsafe to inhale?
I found this but I think its pretty extreme...
"Unfortunately, freshening a room with a few scented candles made from paraffin wax also can be damaging. When fragrance oils are incorporated into paraffin candles, they produce more soot and can even release carcinogens such as benzene and toluene. If you rely on candles to de-stress, use safer soy candles (they're widely available online), which tend to burn without emitting harmful chemicals. Or, instead of candles, consider a vase of fresh, sweet-smelling flowers."
I have read a lot about the chemicals in most candles and try to stick to soy candles or just diffuse EO.
I like to use Mrs. Meyers laundry soap, so I'm going to buy the Baby one and the whole family will use that. H and I just tested the Seventh Gen baby and it's been fine.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Baby's tastes come into play, too. I BF'd for 9 months and used formula to get him to that 1-year mark. We used maybe Enfamil for awhile, then switched to the store brand, for cost, and only tried it three times b/c he wasn't a fan.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
I typically use the seventh generation wipes partly because I always get good deals on them From Amazon and partly because I really like them. They are nice and thick compared to pampers that are my least favorite.
I will warn you, it may make you afraid of some products you already use/plan to use. She goes over wipesandformula, among other items.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
ETA: I used the wrong form of to, basic grammar fail.
Here's a question: What about delayed newborn interventions (given you medically can)?
-Are you doing erythromycin eye ointment? Vitamin K injection (or other Vitamin K, i.e. orally?) Delay hepatitis B until 1-2 years old?
-Delayed cord clamping?
-Keeping vernix on the baby/not giving a bath right away?
Maybe I should mention this on the c-section thread, but relatedly: have you heard about the swab technique that more providers are offering? If you have a baby via c-s, they swab your vag and then rub it over the baby's nostrils and mouth (not some gross goopy thing either, just a quick swab over), and it replicates the beneficial action of the baby moving through the birth canal, picking up mama's immunity, etc. So interesting!
2. We will be doing delayed cord clamping.
3. No bath right away, keeping the vernix on for a bit.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
@lrwardrop I know, that website had me in a tailspin, too. Here's my thought on FDA: it's not nearly as foolproof as people think it is. In medicine, we are constantly changing our minds about what is considered safe or a first line treatment. For a tiny example, for a LONG time zofran (ondansetron) was thought to be almost perfectly safe in pregnant woman, was given out like candy, and was even promoted as a good alternative to morning sickness. Now, this is changing and doctors and practices are moving away from zofran to other medications on the market. Here's my thoughts on things like Holle and HiPP: just because it's not regulated by the FDA doesn't mean it wouldn't be. These are not American brands, so maybe they have no desire to try moving into our market. Also, they are regulated by mandates in their respective countries, just not ours. The companies are fairly transparent about their ingredients and process, so it seems to me there's nothing to hide. The fact that they don't use ingredients that are concerning to me in the US (ingredients the FDA allows, nonetheless) tells me that maybe they can be trusted.
I can't bring myself to buy formula, for one because of the above issue (which one to buy?) but also because it makes me feel like I'm already telling myself I may not be able to EBF. I can't mentally go there this early.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
2. Delayed cord clamping, I don't plan on doing. I'm not overly convinced that there are huge pros to doing this
3. Bath after birth