New Mamas - Pregnant after IF graduates : random thread

mskeenan · January 2017

@lynnnj welcome and congratulations ! I'm sorry you have been having a rough time . I had a rough time even with help so I can only imagine the stress you've been over taking care of your son on your own with little help . The first days and couple weeks home were the hardest for me . You are amazing and you've got this !

it will get better !! My only advice is to be patient with yourself . I'm very much a independent person and had a hard time accepting help after my c section . But it is a big surgery and you need rest to recover. I think the initial adjustment to a new baby is a pretty big shock for most . I experienced some post partumnblues that were pretty intense in the beginning that made me think some things I was ashamed of - crazy hormones . Going from working full time to being bed bound for weeks with a person depending on me was really painful and messed with my mind . I made sure to tell my midwife about my struggles and she kept an eye on me . Luckily now things are so much better. I'm hoping your blues are just a temporary but if they aren't speak up ! Hoping the next coming weeks go easier on you and DH . Congrats again !!!

Drove2u · January 2017

@lynnnj @capps42613 @mskeenan
I'm not making enough milk either. I pump about twice a day and get less than 4oz which I always give to the baby no matter what. I even got a lactation consultant and you're right about about the power pumping. That's supposed to help. I haven't don't this yet. Even though my main responsibility is to take care of baby my days just go by so fast and I'm like oh shoot I only pumped once today so far. I really need to get better at it. I still try to breastfeed her too in addition to formula but she doesn't latch so I have to use a nipple shield which she likes rip off. Sigh.

ultratomato · January 2017

@LynnNJ sorry you are having a tough time it will get better I hope that's what I tell myself with two babies.
Ladies today was the first day I got to drive to my wound dr appointment and I had no big belly in front of me so weird lol. I miss the girls already and I'm not sure how I'm going to ever go back to work.

Griffin5413 · January 2017

@LynnNJ - so glad you are here with us and I'm sorry it has been rough for you! It's such a huge adjustment coming home and trying to get into a routine especially when we feel like our life is upside down.

@Drove2u - I have been trying to consciously make myself pump more regularly. I have noticed that my supply was going down but it was bc I was not pumping enough. My goal has been to give Eli breastmilk during the day and formula at night. I agree though that some days I just wonder where the time went! Hopefully you will find time to pump more often. Yesterday was the first time I pumped more than 3 times in a while!

@ultratomato - yay for driving again. Hope your appt went well. I have only been away from Eli a few times very briefly and I always miss him but I am looking forward to going back to work. I miss adult interaction!

capps42613 · January 2017

@LynnNJ One day at a time

I can relate, the stress of BF went right out the window once I started supplementing with formula.

@mskeenan yes, I heard about that power pumping. It should help. Keep us posted!

Rough night! Cason went bed from 9:15p-1:50a, which is good, but then he didn't go back to sleep til 4 & I was up again at 7 with him and had to get my daughter ready for school. I'm exhausted & I really pray he learns within the next 4 weeks to STTN. I can't imagine doing this and going back to work at the same time

mskeenan · January 2017

Ah @capps42613 I hope our boys get the memo when we go back to work that they need to just sleep through the night . Or else I'm gonna need coffee through an IV To deal with kids at work . Lol

ultratomato · January 2017

@capps42613 ugh that stinks about sleep. I also didn't get a good night sleep either my shift with the babies is from 8-2am well I went to be around 1:30am and was woken up to screaming babies DH needed me to wake up since they both would not calm down and one spit up all over themselve and the rock and play. Hoping for a nap today.
@Griffin5413 well my wound is healing great from last week it went from 1 1/2 cm depth to .7 cm depth. But my culture came back still with mrsa so I'm back on antibiotics and now I need to see the infectious disease dr so they can give me a certain body wash and some type of onitment in my nose. Ugh will this ever end. So fustrating just glad my mrsa is contained in the wound.

tvh1982 · January 2017

I think we women get told there is a purple haze once the baby is born, and only 1 out of a million women actually is experiencing that purple haze @LynnNJ
Im glad my sister was honest and said she struggled as well as my midwife.
I was kinda prepared it would be tough and didn't expect a purple haze. I'm glad I didn't as it was tough! Sometimes still is.
Do talk to someone close about it, so they can keep an eye out. And never be afraid to ask for a helping hand.
Its not easy to ask for help, but sometimes one needs a few seconds to pee

I definitely want to see your ds! So if you feel like it, pm me

I realise with the sleeping that I've been extremely lucky with Pia, we struggled with short naps and her being attached to me, but she would almost always sleep 30/45 min after a bottle at night. I now realise she spoiled me!

dragonfaerie · January 2017

I guess I will jump over and join you all here! Riley Eames joined us on January 24th after 32 hours of labor. He's a healthy 8lbs 6oz and we are all very happy!

capps42613 · January 2017

@dragonfaerie welcome aboard! Enjoy this time with Riley.. it flies

Griffin5413 · January 2017

@dragonfaerie - yay! Welcome to this side! @capps42613 is right... this time is flying.

mskeenan · January 2017

@dragonfaerie congrats !! 32 hours ? Sheesh you must be exhausted . You are one tough mama ! Hope you are doing well and enjoying time with Riley .

dragonfaerie · January 2017

@mskeenan yeah, and then I had a c-section after all that. I was pretty zonked for a while. Lol

tvh1982 · January 2017

So I had been to the paediatrician with Pia on Tuesday. As she really does not like the formula she has (it's disgusting I tried, very bitter) they are impressed she is growing as well as she does on minimum food.
They wanted me to try the goat milk again as I gave her that one night before she got this special formula.
The company that sell it adviced against it if she has a cow milk allergy as it could create a cross reaction.
So I tried a formula that's to reduce the risk of cowsmilk allergy on which the paediatrician agreed. It was a nice 'in between' solution.
Pia liked it. And finished all bottles and more.
At 04:30 she was awake and had her cries. But if I checked she was sleeping. At 06:45 she wasn't a happy camper. Took her with me to sleep, but she was so busy with her legs and not amused. This mamma knows enough, She doesn't tolerate it. She's back hanging on me and I'm in a serious discussion with myself if I should continue the formula she liked, but clearly has started to react on or if I should go back to the formula she doesn't like the taste of?
#whyisthissohard

Griffin5413 · January 2017

@tvh1982 I'm so sorry you ladies are having to go through all of this. I have Eli on a sensitive formula that has no GMOs (genetically modified organisms) and he does pretty well with it. I hope they figure it out soon for you!

Eli just slept for 6 hours and it's only 3:30 here so I'm hopi g after this bottle he will get a few more! We were having a rough night with him spitting up a lot of what he ate and he was pretty fussy. I ended up holding him on my chest bc it seems to help his tummy and he slept 6 hours! I'll take it even if I was holding him that is the longest he has ever slept!

Drove2u · January 2017

Viktoria has actually slept the last two nights. I put her on a schedule but not sure if that did the trick or if she just finally learned night from day. Either way last night she slept from 9:30pm-2am, 2:45-4:20 and then 5-7. So so happy!! At 7am I get her ready for a new day at that point even though I'm not quite ready for it. Ha!!

tvh1982 · January 2017

Thank you @griffin5413. There are two more brands for cowmilk allergy so the ordered me another one as it should taste different. Hopefully Pia likes it.
Shes back to being herself, glad I stopped the other formula when I did.

I hope Eli went back to sleep! Love the 6 hours, did you get some sleep too with him being attached to you?

Way to go Viktoria! What a good girl. A routine/schedule definitely works, I found it hard to create one, but when I did Pia does very well

capps42613 · January 2017

So glad to hear we're catching up on some zzz's!

Tulips29 · January 2017

@LynnNJ congrats and welcome! Sorry to hear about your initial troubles, but you're a tough cookie for handling everything so well. Don't be discouraged by the new emotions. I thought I was handling this so well at the hospital, and then we came home and things go overwhelming quickly so I had a few cry sessions myself. The initial shock of having a little human to take care of is overwhelming, but it does pass. My little guy is 3 weeks now and we're still learning things as we go. You've go this! And when you're feeling down, emotional, stressed, just come on over here. We're all in the same boat.

@dragonfaerie congratulations! Hope you're doing well and recovering quickly. 32 hours is no joke, especially followed by a c-section.

@mskeenan I'm also curious to hear about power pumping and if it works. I pump about 3-4 times a day for about 20 mins and breastfeed during the day. At night we give Aiden a bottle of whatever I pump during the day. I'm only able to pump about 1.5-2.5 oz per session from both breasts combined, which isn't a lot and he eats 2.5 oz per feeding at night. I made myself lactation cookies yesterday, so hoping they will help increase my supply any minute now.

As for scheduling and being up at night, when did your LO's start sleeping longer stretches? I breastfeed Aiden during the day every 2.5-3 hours. I tried to do it at night at first, but then it became too much and I was up around the clock. So we switched to giving him a bottle of breast milk at night instead. Last week was rough and he barely slept at night. He was also more hungry during the day, so likely he was going through a growth spurt. Today our pediatrician said he can start sleeping longer stretches at night, but I wonder how that's going to happen if he wakes up on his own screaming for food every 2.5-3 hours. Also, the last few days it feels like he's pulling on my nipple when he eats. It's painful...so I've been trying to get him to latch on better, which wasn't an issue until now. It makes me wonder how women breastfeed to a year. My goal is to make it to 6 months for now, although I'm not sure if it'll happen.

Drove2u · January 2017

@tulips29 I started putting her on a schedule at 3 weeks. She will be 4 weeks tomorrow. And the last two nights only have been great. I try to follow this schedule which she also created herself. Lol.

7am wake up time. I feed her 3oz of formula, say good morning to her, turn on tv and make lights a bit brighter, change her and put her in her day outfit. keep her awake with tummy time and singing to her.

9am: feed her 1oz formula plus whatever I pump usually 1-2oz. Change her. Try to get her to nap. Usually she falls asleep around 10am. (Ps. She used to be up for these 3 hour stretches at night)

12:30pm: wake up. Feed her 3oz and change her. Awake time.

2pm-4pm Nap

4pm: feed 3oz plus breast milk, change her and keep her awake until 6pm

6pm-8pm: nap

8pm: wake up, feed 2oz this time, change her. Keep her awake just for an hour.

9pm: I take her upstairs where there are only dim lights. I change her and put on her pjs. I start talking in whispers to her. Feed her 3oz or until she falls asleep. Sometimes she only needs 1 or 2oz. Sing to her.

2am: feed her 3oz, change her and cuddle her for 10 minutes. Total wake time here is half hour. I don't talk to her during this time or kiss her. And then put her straight to bed.

4am: same thing.

7am: wake up time!!

The hours sometimes have to get adjusted but this is rhe general idea.

Tulips29 · January 2017

@Drove2u wow that's quite an impressive schedule! The OCD in me is slightly envious lol. I guess I thought I was sort of on a schedule but nothing compared to yours. The only schedule we really have is eating and sleeping lol. If he naps for more than 2.5 hours, I wake him up at the 3 hour mark to feed him. We try to keep him awake and also do tummy time in his play gym after the morning feeding but it doesn't always work out. I also read to him whenever he's awake but most of the time he quickly falls back asleep. He doesn't stay awake for long in general, maybe an hour to 1.5 hours at a time. Most of the time it's eat, change diaper, back to nap.

Drove2u · January 2017

@tulips29 lol I know. I was miserable for three weeks not sleeping. I tried other things too and finally this worked. Sometimes she doesn't want to stay awake either so I take her around the house and just show her things, I very cautiously have her smell spices like cinnamon, pumpkin spice. Whatever I have in the spice cabinet that smells nice. This awakens her and she seems to like it. It's a lot of work trying to keep her up and occupied at times.

tvh1982 · January 2017

May I ask why you wake him at the 3 hour mark @tulips29?
I would think if you want him to sleep longer to let him wake up when he does.
Dont worry if there is a 5 or even 7 hour stretch. This is how he learns. He might wake up extremely hungry as this is new. So prepare to be ready with food in a short time as he probably wants it the second his eyes open!

Those might start at daytime, but will also happen at night. Right now he is not used to sleep longer as 3 hours as he gets woken.

For us it helped making a difference between day and night.
We are not at a tight schedule and hours may vary, but Pia knows the difference.
I get her ready for bed between 5-7 (all depends on what time she eats.) This is always the longest stretch she is awake as I want to feed her as late as possible.
I bathe her or shower or sponge bath her. Change her to her pyjamas and have some quiet time. While doing the above I start dimming the lights and also start to wishper to her.
I always hope I got it stretched enough that it is time for a bottle.
Shes not into story time, yet I do try to read to her. With or without bottle.
When I put her down I tell her it's time to sleep for the night, sing our song and tuck her in.
Shes usually not having this, so she'll complain. I empty her bath (which is in her room) tidy away towels, clothes and start finding things to do around her room. My walking in and out her room have more time between them until it's unnecessary for me to do so because she's accepting it's time to sleep. Other times she goes down no problem.
Depending on the time the above happened she'll wake up anywhere between 23 and 1 o'clock. Or skips that feeding and wakes up around 3.
Here I do not add any lighting (so she has a nightlight in her room that has to do it), I don't talk to her, do give her a kiss on the head when she's eating. Change her nappy and offer her the rest of the bottle if left over. She usually nods off in my arms. I put her back to bed, asleep or awake. Give her a kiss on the forehead and walk of. Either she sleeps right away or has a conversation with herself. I'm back in bed 30 min after.
We do this again between 4 and 6. After this nap she usually is to awake to sleep proper but she doesn't mind going back to bed. She either sleeps or has her conversation. I ignore the latter and sleep.
I get up at 8 and get to shower and start the day before she had enough of 'talking' to herself. Sometimes I get ready later as she wants her day to start at 8.
I walk in her room saying good morning, pick her up, open the curtains while talking to her and start to get her ready for the day. Washing her face and bum or first a bottle...depends on what she wants more.
During the day I follow her routine. She sleeps shorter and is awake anywhere from 30 min to 2 hours. If I want her to make a long stretch we go for a walk.
In her own bed she sleeps an hour or two during the day. I don't darken her room at all during the day, don't limit on noises around her room either.
And sometimes she naps on me. She has that need at least once a day.

capps42613 · January 2017

Anyone else hear phantom cries? Lol I swear I hear him cry sometimes when I'm in the shower or if he's in his room and I've yet to turn on the monitor.

tvh1982 · January 2017

Yes! @capps42613 and if I go look she's sound asleep #ithinkigonuts

clt2pwm11 · January 2017

Hi! Guess I'll join you guys over here. My son Charlie showed up 14 weeks early on Thursday. He weighed just over 2 lbs. I was fully dilated and they were unable to stop labor. Because of how he was laying, they had to do a c- section. He is at the NICU at a neighboring hospital. I will be discharged tomorrow morning. I cannot wait to see him as I got only to glance at him before he was taken away. My husband has been sending me videos of him, but it isn't the same. As for my recovery, I feel pretty good, but when pain meds wear off my incision hurts (to be expected I suppose).

I've been pumping every 3 hours, and I'm starting to build up a nice bit of colostrum. Husband took a tiny amount to Charlie today. Baby is digesting food well and has quite a few wet diapers and even his first poopie diaper. They are giving him donor milk to supplement my milk (I am so thankful for this.)

Question: Anybody else starving in the middle of the night? I am eating well during the day. On the first day I had a full lunch and dinner, and today I had a breakfast, lunch, and dinner plus snacks. I woke up just now absolutely ravenous. I had two pop tarts and that did nothing, so I sent husband to the vending machine for peanuts and peanut butter crackers. Is this a c- section thing? Or maybe a breastfeeding thing? Or am I just still eating like a cow post-pregnancy?

Griffin5413 · January 2017

@capps42613 I hear them all the time when I am away from Eli!
@clt2pwm11 - welcome to the board! I can't imagine being in a different hospital! Hope everything is going well. Sounds like baby is doing as well as you can expect for 14 weeks early!

i feel hungry all of the time! lol I think it's the breastfeeding or pumping but I'm not sure!

clt2pwm11 · January 2017

@Griffin5413 Being separated has been agony. We are about 45 minutes away from him. If I hadn't been such a risk, they would've transported us together, but he was not about to wait. They told me they would discharge me early, so I am up and ready to go. No word yet.

And I'm going to assume it's the pumping. Because I'm up at 7:30 and it feels like I've never eaten before. How do women do this in poverty striken parts of the world?

tvh1982 · January 2017

Welcome @clt2pwm11, hope they soon let you go to see him!
Well done on the breastfeeding, keep going!
Think the food is a breastfeeding thing, or a 'my belly is empty nothing is pressing against it, so fill me up thing' as I have had it too, but ended up with bottle feeding as I had nothing to give my little one. (Not sure if both stopped simultaneously, I now just drink tons of water at night)

Tulips29 · January 2017

@tvh1982 he was initially low on weight so I was told I have to feed him both on demand and on a schedule of every 3 hours tops. So I've had to wake him up if he's sleeping. Most of the time he'll wake up on his own hungry about every 3 hours anyway. Plus since he's breastfed, the milk digests quicker than formula. Yesterday we went to the doctor for a checkup and he gained a good amount of weight and is now past his birth weight. The doc said to still wake him up to feed every 3 hours during the day but at night let him wake up on his own. She said if I feed him more often during the day he will sleep better at night. Your suggestion makes sense too that he should learn on his own to go longer without eating and I shouldn't wake him up. I guess I'll see how his weight is during this week.

@capps42613 I hear fandom cries all the time! I thought I was going crazy.

@clt2pwm11 welcome! I hope you get to see your baby soon!

tvh1982 · January 2017

I see @tulips29, I would to have woken up Pia in your case.
Its tough isn't it, but listen to your mummy instinct and what you feel is best.
He'll get the hang of it eventually (hopefully doesn't take to long to give his mummy a little longer naps)
Way to go on the gaining weight! You've got some good BM skills

dragonfaerie · January 2017

Little Riley is doing that "fall asleep as soon as he latches thing" and it's so hard! He acts hungry, but won't stay feeding. Starting at the hospital, we had him BF as long as he would, then supplement with donor milk while I pump. We did that last night at home too because the doc was a little worried about his weightloss and he just needs to eat. I try to be a good mommy and pick him up with the first hungry signals, but he's just not interested. My milk did come in so I'm hoping starting today that he'll be more excited to eat. We have his pediatric apt in an hour so we'll see.
Also, i was so sick last night because I was STARVING. My sister actually warned me that when my milk comes in I would see a huge uptick in my appetite. I got sick i think from being hungry. And it was like 1st trimester all over that nothing sounded good
Edit: apparently my milk hasn't fully come in per the doc, but we are getting there

WishingforLuck · January 2017

Thanks ladies for the well wishes.
@dragonfaerie congrats! He is so precious. Hope you get better, can't imagine a repeat of 1st trimester.
@clt2pwm11welcome, and hope you get to see your son soon.
@Tulips29 I'm in the same boat with the every 3 hour feed, but I have vast improvements in both babies. I'm hoping for good weigh ins at the next meds appointment.

capps42613 · January 2017

@clt2pwm11 welcome! I've been following in the "randoms" thread. Hoping tomorrow comes soon for you so you can be with your baby!

tvh1982 · January 2017

He'll get the hang of it. Soon milk will 'shoot' out and he will be drinking like a champ @dragonfaerie.
Just take your time, don't let anyone rush you or tell you how to do it.

Tulips29 · January 2017

Thanks @tvh1982! You more seasoned mommies always have great advice which I love.

@dragonfaerie we had the same thing with falling asleep on the boob quickly after latching on. Hopefully Riley is gaining weight though because Aiden wasn't and they scared me with his weight loss at the hospital. It took almost a week for my milk to fully come in too. Also Riley is still learning how to eat as well but he'll get the hang of it soon. Hope your appointment went well.

tvh1982 · January 2017

So it's time to clean out Pia's closet, but I don't really want to, I'm not ready!
She was drowning in size 50, but that's definitely not fitting her anymore. Size 50/56 is just ok, but we are going for 56 to OMG 62!
Im not ready for her to grow so fast!
Her first outfit I put on my childhood doll. (I moved my doll with me to every place I lived,as that was my baby for so long. Of course in a box, with a teddy so she wouldn't be alone #imsuchaweirdo!)
The rest I probably keep for the 'who-knows-I'll-want-a-second-one-but-I-do-hope-I-have-found-a-DH-by-then-cause-this-is-hard!'

Griffin5413 · January 2017

@dragonfaerie - I'm sure Riley is just fine! Eli lost almost 10% of his body weight so we started supplementing. This week is his 2 month check up and he is as chubby as can be!

moms of new boys...one of the things they didn't tell me when we got him circumcised is that for the 2 weeks it was healing he was going to pee through his diaper almost every time! All of the Vaseline they use leaves almost no absorbing In the diaper. He peed on just about every thing! Lol

@tvh1982 Pia is getting so big! I keep reminding myself to enjoy every second bc this is going by soooo quickly!

ok ladies this was 3 nights in a row where we have gotten good stretches of sleep in the first leg of the night. We went almost 6 hours tonight. I'm hoping we are turning a corner so mama can start getting more rest too!!!

dragonfaerie · January 2017

@Griffin5413 Haha! Oops! They didn't tell us that either, i wonder if that's why he's a bit stinky even though he doesn't have a wet diaper? Bathtime!
@tvh1982 I'll definitely be a mess when it's time to transition clothing sizes. Hold on to your favorites for sure!

So, c-section ladies, how did you sleep at night? After being basically in tears this morning trying to get up from lying flat, I've decided to make a nest and sleep kind of sitting up. I didn't realize how much that reclining bed in the hospital was helping me.

ultratomato · January 2017

@dragonfaerie I had like no pain I was walking and doing stuff fine around the house. If the csection didn't get infected I would have been fine. It was sometimes hard to get out of bed flat I recommend a recliner.

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