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May 2017 Moms
BabyMC517
member
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Circumcision thoughts/experiences?
BabyMC517
member
Copied/pasted my original post from the Randoms and Questions thread. 
Any input is good input in my opinion!! I know that this may be a hot topic, but we have had great discussions on our boards and ultimately all decisions are up to the OP and their significant other, but it's always nice to be able to chat with others in the process.
Question...I was reading the free kindle book that is being offered with your amazon registry if you didn't realize it (you can choose from a few different ones) and I didn't really even think about it much until now...circumcision. H and I haven't really talked about it yet, but I know it is something that we will have to discuss eventually. Any thoughts and/or experiences??
Any input is good input in my opinion!! I know that this may be a hot topic, but we have had great discussions on our boards and ultimately all decisions are up to the OP and their significant other, but it's always nice to be able to chat with others in the process. Question...I was reading the free kindle book that is being offered with your amazon registry if you didn't realize it (you can choose from a few different ones) and I didn't really even think about it much until now...circumcision. H and I haven't really talked about it yet, but I know it is something that we will have to discuss eventually. Any thoughts and/or experiences??
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Re: Circumcision thoughts/experiences?
@BabyMC517: I originally was against, knowing it's not medically necessary and as a practice is trending toward outdated. There's a reason why it's a choice left up to parents, and not some pediatrician's mandate. After ongoing discussions in our house, though, I felt I could have a yay or nay response to circumcision. Similar to what @absbubbs alluded to, my hubbs had the stronger opinion and, as a male dealing with a male issue, his vote counted for more than 50 percent. (It's not some sexist thing. If it were a "girl" issue, my vote would be heavier.) I didn't mind deferring to his experience. I've known males both cut and uncut. In the end, our son was circumcised. The procedure itself was maybe 20 minutes, and he was a day and a half old, and the doc who did it came and talked to us thoroughly first. There are risks involved. She gave him sugar water to get the endorphins flowing and lessen the pain, then he slept for like 5 hours, which gave me time to sleep (somewhat, it's still a noisy hospital). There is additional aftercare you need to provide for that first week or two until it heals. I hope this (varied) perspective helps you in your discussions with your SO.
At the end of the day it's cosmetic, and a total you do you situation.
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
@BabyMC517 , we did a lot of research and ultimately couldn't convince ourselves that there was any point, so we did not circumcise. I don't think that there is really a "wrong" decision because it is so personal and the kid will likely be fine either way. Our decision not to basically came down to a discussion about why we would surgically alter his genitals if there was no reason beyond cosmetics. It's very difficult to find non-biased facts on the internet, so if it's something you are trying to make a decision on, just be cautious on the sources you use.
I personally don't have a preferance and would probably skip it, but H has a preferance so I'll let him choose. It's something I don't really feel is fighting over unless you are 2 different religions. I've taken care of both and neither are really that hard, and I believe, equally clean. That said, I once knew a guy who did it as an adult, was in incredable pain, and noticed no differance between anythinh other than he no longer had extra skin.
Adding that I was/am worried about pain, but everyone I've talked to has reassured me that their kid didn't seem that uncomfortable. DH also has a really painful memory of foreskin retraction when he was a toddler, so it sounds like there's potential for pain either way. Better to have the pain before they remember it, IMO.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I completely agree with @Kipperoo. We did a lot of research and discussed it amongst ourselves while I was pregnant with my son (though we were team green). While my husband didn't necessarily have the final say, I definitely took his opinion into account in forming my own. I agree that it's difficult to find non-biased facts, as both sides get a bit crazy with their rhetoric. I don't think circumcision is evil or anything like that, it just wasn't for us. The reasons touted by proponents of circumcision didn't persuade us. In the end, we agreed not to circumcise.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Since my family is Jewish it was something that was not really a decision of yes or no. It was more of do we have a bris at home or have it done in the hospital. In the end we chose to do it in the hospital. That was until a ped urologist was called in to tell us we couldn't get it done. Our son had what is called Penal-scrotal fusion. Basically simply put the bottom of his "Frank" was too close to the "beans". There wasn't enough skin for them to even do a circ. We were told that it wasn't "too small" just not enough skin. We were told to wait til about 2-3 months and bring him to the office and see what could be done. At 3 months we brought him in and still no progress. At this point the urologist told us that we basically had to do a surgical circ for medical reasons. Due to the lack of skin it could actually become painful for him in the future. No joke the doc said "it may hurt if he wanted to enjoy himself." My DH and I couldn't help but laugh, but then he though WHOA OUCH! At 7 months we brought him into the hospital and he had a 1hr surgery that basically did the same thing as a circ but required sutures and stitches. It actually sounds so much worse than it actually was. He was in a bit of pain for the first day or 2 but by two weeks he was perfectly fine and everything healed great. I'm not telling you guys this to scare anyone. But its interesting how resilient little guys are. I was so worried and he was totally fine. We are hoping that this little guy can get it done in the hospital and we can avoid the commotion of last time. But If god forbid we did have to go through it again I do know that I don't have to freak out the way I did last time.
I think it's something you and H have to come to an agreement on. My fiancé and I were totally butting heads on this one. We both feel very strongly one way, and unfortunately it's not the same way. But we talked it out (a lot), head one another out and came up with our decision together. Obviously one of us didn't get "our" original outcome, but in the end we decided what we felt was best as a team.
I know this can get heated, but I love our board and how everybody is able to share their personal opinions without anybody feeling attacked. DH is very pro circumcision, mostly because he feels it's the norm and it's what he's used to. I did some research on both and am personally okay with either way, I just asked him to do his research as well so he can understand both sides. Like some PPs said, there's really no wrong or right decision, do what you and DH feel is best for your boy.
Added:
A new thought but any tips/advice on proper care are greatly welcome here. I heard from a friend who had a boy last May that they went through a full tub of vaseline in the lining of the diapers during the week after circumcision so the affected area would not stick to the diaper.
Like @pshaortao I'd be interested in any tips on proper care as well!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
We've both felt the same way since long before I was pregnant, we will circumcise if we have a boy. If H said he didn't want to, I'd be open to that. However he is adamant about it. His cousin was never circumcised and got it done several years ago in his late teens/ early 20's because it bothered him.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
one thing i really didnt didn't even think about (not sure why) is that insurance may not cover it. But I suppose they might consider it more of an elective surgery if it's not medically necessary to do.
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Just as other PPs I would love to get more information on what the aftercare is like!
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
As for the insurance thing, I have absolutely no idea about coverage but we did get a head up that it would cost $450 to do the procedure. We are prepared to pay it fully if needed.
I spiked a fever while pushing and it caused a few complications for DS after birth, and he was given an antibiotic the first night. They wouldn't perform the procedure the next morning (when it would normally happen) because of the medicine he was on. I know it's a common and low-risk procedure, but my biggest fear was that we would have to go home the same day they did it. What if something went wrong? Would I know if it looked normal? I REALLY wanted to be surrounded by medical professionals for at least a day after, but despite the fact we didn't leave until the 4th day (C-section) it was done the last morning and and home we went! I honestly think they forgot we were waiting to have it done, because they tried to shoo me out of the hospital on day 3 and I had to say it hadn't happened yet. Very frustrating.
This is not to scare any FTM's, but it looked a lot worse than I thought it would. I had imagined a ring around it where they had cut off the extra skin, but it was like they had scalped it - the whole end was red and raw. However, there was never any bleeding, and the care was very simple. When we went to our first Ped visit, she actually laughed at how much petrolatum I had been glopping on it and told me I could scale way back.
If you do decide to have it done:
-do feed before as babies can be tired afterwards and can help soothe baby more.
-they do give sweeties aka sugar water to help, along with a pacifier. If you don't want them to have a paci, please speak up and let them know. The nurse can always glove and let them suck on their finger. Nipple confusion does happen and can be frustrating when breastfeeding isn't going so well.
-most OBs use 1% lidocaine to numb the area first before they cut. Most babies are crying because they don't like laying on the board with their legs velcrowed down.
- do check to see who is going to actually be performing the circ. Sometimes it may be a resident and not your OB. (Just my opinion here but I'm not one who wants my kid to be their first circ. I'd rather it be someone with more experience. Just my opinion)
-you can also always ask to be present when it's done. Just have a chair just in case it's a little much to watch. Especially dad's that may go back. There are two different types of instruments they may use. They both can look scary. One is a mogen clamp(more experienced choice obs-much more clean cut so to speak) or they may us a gomco(first choice for many Obs and for residents learning).
-at our hospital we will give you a pack of gauze that have Vaseline on them to put on for the first 48 hours. That way we can see if they are bleeding a little to much or not. Afterwards we tell them to use Vaseline on the diaper to help not stick.
- if it does stick and won't come off, take a warm wash cloth and wring it out over the area to help it unstick.
Hope this helps
DH and I also plan to circ our son.
I have to agree with @germangirl6988 check with who will be doing it in the hospital. In our hospital it is done by either a ped or ped urologist. (OB's do not do any care on the babies once they are born in our hospital). You can request too who you would rather have and the cost should still be the same. If your hospital is a large regional hospital like mine chances are they have a ped urologist on call that you can request. They are going to be the BEST since this is basically their field.
@pshaortao after care is not that bad at all. Even though our experience was a little more severe the only difference for our aftercare was a.) a week or two longer and b.) he was prescribed pain meds. But the actual care of the penis was the same. I do recommend stocking up on tubes of Vaseline (not the tub). Put the Vaseline on the diaper and line it up with the penis when you fasten the diaper. This is much easier than touching it and less painful. The more the better you can't put too much on. Once you feel its healed enough to touch make sure every bath and diaper change you push the skin down to avoid reattachment too.
And here's the complete article:
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/circumcision_2013/circumcision_2013.htm
I am a nurse, and in nursing school I was able to watch a circumcision performed in the hospital. It was quick, far quicker than I thought it could be. The baby cried for one second, but they swaddled the baby, soothed him, and gave him a pacifier. He was back to sleeping almost immediately. I also did a study on pain in babies, and surprisingly, babies response to pain is quick, nontraumatic, and easily relieved by sucking, even nonnutritive. Babies are all about reflex. Even if they react to a painful stimuli, it's about reflex, not personality or experience. To me and based on my research, reading, and experience, a quick circumcision is not any more painful than a hungry belly-- which we will all have to contend with daily.
As a nurse, I have also seen enough little boys with foreskin and urogenital issues to be worried that a foreskin automatically buys a baby (and when I'm thinking about my own potential future son, my baby boy) more tests/procedures/invasiveness. However people may think caring for foreskin is not harder, I personally disagree. There is an extra step, as there should be. Even as boys grow, they need to know how to care for their penis and foreskin, and if they don't it can cause problems. For me, the last straw was worrying that if my baby boy (read: baby) had a temperature, he would automatically get a urine sample by catheterization. Obviously every doctor practices their own doctrine, but this has been my experience as a nurse. I'm half Jewish, DH and I personally come from families of men who are circumcised. We feel circumcised penises are more desirable or at least, not less desirable (and feel justified by how many people have said they known an adult/older boy/man who has had the procedure electively or wishes they had). At the end of the day, none of that mattered to me though. I did my research, and honestly feel there's plenty of unbiased research to support the efficacy of circumcision and not vice versa. (I'm happy to share if someone truly wants research studies.)
Bottom line: it's a tough decision either way, and there are plenty of people in both camps for great reasons. Good luck!
@jayandaplus Thank you for that perspective. Very helpful.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
https://healthland.time.com/2013/08/22/explaining-the-drop-in-circumcision-rates/
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I kid, I kid