Third baby, all the same sex

hudsons1014 · January 2017

I'm on baby boy #3 and I'm thrilled about it as I love my boys. I get comments all the time like, "maybe the next one will be a girl", "I'm so sorry, you must be upset to be having a third boy", "oh god, 3 boys that sounds terrible" or "you are going to have your hands so full". I always just tell people we're happy with a healthy baby regardless of its gender and we absolutely love our boys. Or it's going to be so awesome for 3 brothers to grow up so close in age together but I don't think people realize how ignorant these comments are. There are people who have trouble having babies and the fact I've been blessed with 3 I'm not going to complain about them being boys at all. I'm sure that regardless of if you have multiple girls or multiple boys you hear comments similar but how do you respond to them?

star_beagle · January 2017

hudsons1014 said:

I'm on baby boy #3 and I'm thrilled about it as I love my boys. I get comments all the time like, "maybe the next one will be a girl", "I'm so sorry, you must be upset to be having a third boy", "oh god, 3 boys that sounds terrible" or "you are going to have your hands so full". I always just tell people we're happy with a healthy baby regardless of its gender and we absolutely love our boys. Or it's going to be so awesome for 3 brothers to grow up so close in age together but I don't think people realize how ignorant these comments are. There are people who have trouble having babies and the fact I've been blessed with 3 I'm not going to complain about them being boys at all. I'm sure that regardless of if you have multiple girls or multiple boys you hear comments similar but how do you respond to them?

QFP.

Hey, @hudsons1014, I noticed you were new around here. Congrats on your baby. We have a Weekly Randoms thread (https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12699760/randoms-2-0#latest) that would be suited for this question, or in the STM+ check in.
We'd love to have you introduce yourself to us in the Introductions thread (https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12693017/introductions-edd#latest). Also, I highly recommend reading the Read This First thread (https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12693019/read-this-first#latest), which will give a little more information on our group.

Again, congrats.

caribbeanmama-2 · January 2017

What @lfk2013 said.

EmeraldNC · January 2017

After reading the title, I am just relieved this isn't a sex disappointment post.......

Image: https://media0.giphy.com/media/3o7TKUgtJ8d7qMzG1O/200.gif#14

hudsons1014 · January 2017

Gender disappointment post drive me crazy! Maybe a different title would have been better

mslynn2012 · January 2017

Yeah, I was hesitant to open...

PurplePoppy424 · January 2017

*head desk*

postywiththemosty · January 2017

Unrelated to post side note, every time I see the photo of your son it makes me so happy inside @mslynn2012! Such a genuine smile!

longhairdntcare · January 2017

I don't understand this post. Also, who are you?

zara4k · January 2017

@hudsons1014 ignore them! I would love to have three boys! I don't have a brother and it would be great to love a boy in a selfless way! Everyone has different preferences people are stupid seriously. My sister in law had a girl and she doesn't have any other sisters so she keeps telling me I must have a girl and that girls are the best. A healthy baby is what matters the most.

julybaby17-2 · January 2017

Pregnancy is a topic where everyone feels they can share their opinions, as I'm starting to learn. I just smile, but I think of some very snarky things in my head. I'm a rebel, I know.

hudsons1014 · January 2017

I mostly ignore what they say but sometimes I want to slap them in the face... I think it's my hormones that get the best of me! Sometimes I'll come up with snarky things in my head too and wish I would have said them like an hour later!

I'm mainly just curious what other parents that have multiple of one sex say back to unwanted comments.

star_beagle · January 2017

We had threads already for questions. We have threads specifically for STM+ moms. We don't like clutter because if everyone started a thread for every question that popped into their head, there would be no support. We like people to introduce themselves. If that makes us snarky when we point out that there are pinned boards and that we've never seen you before, so be it. We've had a lot of drive-bys recently that have left a horrible taste in our collective mouths...

mslynn2012 · January 2017

@maybeitsmadeline - I'm pretty sure that photo is like 2, maybe 3 years old? (I'm on mobile, so I have NO clue what my siggy looks like - eek!) Thank you, he's a SUPER happy kiddo, we got lucky!

hudsons1014 · January 2017

lfk2013 said:

We had threads already for questions. We have threads specifically for STM+ moms. We don't like clutter because if everyone started a thread for every question that popped into their head, there would be no support. We like people to introduce themselves. If that makes us snarky when we point out that there are pinned boards and that we've never seen you before, so be it. We've had a lot of drive-bys recently that have left a horrible taste in our collective mouths...

I was not referring to you I was responding to @JulyBaby17 and @zara4k who were answering my question.

My name is Kate and I'm due with my third son on July 4th. I used babycenter for my first 2 pregnancies but they operate a little differently. I didn't realize that asking a question this way would rub anyone the wrong way.

longhairdntcare · January 2017

hudsons1014 said:

lfk2013 said:

We had threads already for questions. We have threads specifically for STM+ moms. We don't like clutter because if everyone started a thread for every question that popped into their head, there would be no support. We like people to introduce themselves. If that makes us snarky when we point out that there are pinned boards and that we've never seen you before, so be it. We've had a lot of drive-bys recently that have left a horrible taste in our collective mouths...

I was not referring to you I was responding to @JulyBaby17 and @zara4k who were answering my question.

My name is Kate and I'm due with my third son on July 4th. I used babycenter for my first 2 pregnancies but they operate a little differently. I didn't realize that asking a question this way would rub anyone the wrong way.

not this again...maybe go read the 'ignore this post' thread. It might provide some insight.

PurplePoppy424 · January 2017

zara4k · January 2017

*Removed for TOU Violation*

longhairdntcare · January 2017

Nobody was even rude. Your WK-ing is getting really old.

star_beagle · January 2017

@ams512 - Is there a glitch in the Matrix? Because the main page says you posted something here but I can't see it.

star_beagle · January 2017

lfk2013 said:

@ams512 - Is there a glitch in the Matrix? Because the main page says you posted something here but I can't see it.

All her discussions and replies on her profile are gone.

SaphireSweetie88 · January 2017

*Removed for Quoting TOU Violation*

@zara4k

Neither @lfk2013 @PurplePoppy424 nor @Rae1 acted like a "forum don" or were being"bishes". The replies were actually pretty nice compared to what they can be for situations where someone clearly does not take the 3 minutes of time needed to see that there are already threads designated for questions like this, etc.

Each community / board / forum is run differently. This one is particular likes to keep things very organized and there are threads pinned at the top of the board to help new members understand how this particular board operates

@hudsons1014 - Welcome and congrats. Please lurk some more.

EmeraldNC · January 2017

*Removed for Quoting TOU Violation*

Stuck in the box!!!

if this is your advice, to "ignore" everyone... What would be the point in coming here for "support" and answers, like OP asked for???

PurplePoppy424 · January 2017

@zara4k Seriously?! No one on this thread has even been that bad.

Itsnotyourturn · January 2017

Well looks like I get to add another name or two to the post it today. FTR @zara4k, we don't take kindly to name calling the entire board. Perhaps an apology and some lurking would do you well.

chudson5 · January 2017

Anywho, we have a 3 year old girl and now expecting a boy. I get comments like "what a perfect family!" Or "you must be SO happy."

We are happy. But we'd be equally as happy with another girl. And God knows we are far from the perfect family! I even cringe when I hear this stuff but like many others have said- I think people just feel entitled to tell pregnant women their opinions. On everything.

zara4k · January 2017

I never really used the word but I'm sorry! I honestly thought some of the posts were rude, and snarky. And I've been seeing a trend of snarky comments every now and then. If one person has said to be organized everyone doesn't need to chime in and say the same thing. Just my opinion, I stand by it. U don't say "who are you" and tell people where to post. This is a new topic and if someone wants to post it in a new thread i don't understand why we always have to point it out. Especially since the person is new on the forum, even when I reread the posts, the replies sound snarky to me.

Itsnotyourturn · January 2017

zara4k said:

I never really used the word but I'm sorry! I honestly thought some of the posts were rude, and snarky. And I've been seeing a trend of snarky comments every now and then. If one person has said to be organized everyone doesn't need to chime in and say the same thing. Just my opinion, I stand by it. U don't say "who are you" and tell people where to post. This is a new topic and if someone wants to post it in a new thread i don't understand why we always have to point it out. Especially since the person is new on the forum, even when I reread the posts, the replies sound snarky to me.

This is like a really long version of sorry, I'm not sorry.

@zara4k, you don't get to dictate our responses. See the bold above text above. As long as anyone of us stays with the TOU we are free to respond as we please. Sorry, not sorry.

If the person is new doesn't really matter so much as their ability to read. A few minutes of skimming the read this first thread would alleviate most of these incidents. If the OP doesn't bother to do that, I don't really understand why you think we owe them anything at all.

PurplePoppy424 · January 2017

zara4k said:

I never really used the word but I'm sorry! I honestly thought some of the posts were rude, and snarky. And I've been seeing a trend of snarky comments every now and then. If one person has said to be organized everyone doesn't need to chime in and say the same thing. Just my opinion, I stand by it. U don't say "who are you" and tell people where to post. This is a new topic and if someone wants to post it in a new thread i don't understand why we always have to point it out. Especially since the person is new on the forum, even when I reread the posts, the replies sound snarky to me.

The Bump forums have ALWAYS been known to be snarky. I don't understand why you feel the need to police things here. No one was even that snarky here! The wking is honestly just annoying.

star_beagle · January 2017

Seriously...follow your own advice. If you don't like the snark (especially when it is not directed at you), then ignore it and move on with your life. Is it hurting you? No? Then move on with your day.

longhairdntcare · January 2017

OMG guys - the annoying WK got the warning for once instead of us! It's a miracle!!!

also - I think asking 'who are you' is legitimate if someone comes on and posts without introducing themselves to the community or posting anywhere else. But like others have said, I don't have to justify my response to you. I can way whatever I please (within the TOU of course)

zara4k · January 2017

You guys are so defensive it's ridiculous. I can say what is on my mind it's my choice. You guys seriously need to calm down, I can say whatever I want if you can say whatever you want. Can we agree to that at least?

Dcwtada · January 2017

^^

dancegurl1118 · January 2017

Dcwtada · January 2017

Damn @dancegurl1118 way to show me up with your gif'ing skillz! I am tempted to report you but I realize that is childish and ridiculous

seriously one one of my favorite gifs! My husband and I use this against each other more often than I care to admit.

Itsnotyourturn · January 2017

@zara4k, well, actually you can't because you have violated the TOU.

Name calling, any name calling, is not really the best way to make your argument.

Andplusalso I'm not the one calling people names so I don't need to calm down.

zara4k · January 2017

**Removed for TOU violation**

dancegurl1118 · January 2017

@Dcwtada I can't believe how many years it's been and I still say it all the time. Definitely over ten. Probably even fifteen. I RUN WITH TWELVE GANGS! AND WE ONLY DO HATE CRIMES!

PurplePoppy424 · January 2017

zara4k said:

You guys are so defensive it's ridiculous. I can say what is on my mind it's my choice. You guys seriously need to calm down, I can say whatever I want if you can say whatever you want. Can we agree to that at least?

Sure, but I can guarantee you that you won't make any friends while you're here and isn't that the whole point of being part of a community? Go ahead though. Keep ticking everyone off and trying to be everyone's mom. You are definitely entitled to that. Just don't be surprised when the end result is not actually what you wanted.

Dcwtada · January 2017

@zara4k dude no one here is crying. We called you out for your drama, you are the only one upset, frankly no one else really cares. Take a step back from that ledge and take a deep breath. Either contribute decent content or be prepared to get called out - it's that simple.

Third baby, all the same sex

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