Sh*t my SO says

lulu1180 · January 2017

We all know that our SOs don't really understand much of the TTC process. So we want to know what things has your SO said that makes you just stare at him like he has two heads? Or what has he said that just makes you laugh till wine comes out your nose? Let's share those hilarious things that just makes you shake your head and move on!

Image: https://quarterlifedilemma.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/what-did-you-just-say.gif

lulu1180 · January 2017

I'll start.....during my RE appointment (with DH on speakerphone) when she was explaining the SA, he responded "So I just need to jack off in a cup?" I was a bit embarrassed and probably would have pinched his arm if he had been there in person.

kiwi2628 · January 2017

'Are you SURE that we shouldn't be having more sex?' ...we usually have sex ED

lulu1180 · January 2017

@kiwi2628 LOL at YH

Image: https://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lppyksxAfd1r1thdeo1_400.gif

Pinky917 · January 2017

I looooove this!!!!

"Well, maybe we need to try having more sex outside of your fertile window, too"

canonmom413 · January 2017

Legit, when I tell him we probably shouldnt go to sleep right away .... he says,

I cant help but laugh so hard. But then, we bang so....

Image: https://media2.giphy.com/media/jpJjWkvZyP5SM/200.gif#21

WillRunForWine21 · January 2017

@lulu1180 my husband referred to his SA as a "jizz quiz". Cracked himself up for weeks

icecubeinthedesert · January 2017

@Pinky917 I've heard something similar from DH about DTD for days after O.

DH asked me yesterday if I got my period yet. Guys, I'm 4dpo and he knows this.

lulu1180 · January 2017

OMG @WillRunForWine21 If I said that to MH, he would probably love it! I'm just hoping he doesn't make the same comment when he goes to the lab to give the sample for his SA today lol

sheknows6 · January 2017

WillRunForWine21 said:

@lulu1180 my husband referred to his SA as a "jizz quiz". Cracked himself up for weeks

Maybe it's the 13 year old in me, but I think that's hilarious

bluejeanbabi05 · January 2017

The other day our RE told DH he should wear a superhero cape because his motility and count is fantastic (let's just ignore the morphology issue I guess) and now DH refers to his S as Superhero Sperm, mostly just to see me roll my eyes at him lol.

LoveInDC · January 2017

My DH turned to me yesterday and said "I don't know, I just have a feeling you're not pregnant."

My wonderful husband who hasn't listened to a thing about my cycle or fertility tracking. My amazing husband who knows I am taking a pregnancy test on Friday. Thanks darling. That's just the positivity I need.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/72/i38b1y16jgw3.jpg

jess0211 · January 2017

@bluejeanbabi05

lulu1180 · January 2017

@jess0211 That is perfect for @bluejeanbabi05 H! lol

bluejeanbabi05 · January 2017

Omg @jess0211 you just made me snort out green tea

MTgirlCOworld · January 2017

Mine is more what he doesn't say. I can talk about anything and I will phrase things to get some feedback so we can make these decisions together. His response pretty much every time "OK". Then if I push him for more of a conversation he says "What am I supposed to say?" Makes me want to strangle him.

KariAnn323 · January 2017

DH asks me "what are your pee sticks telling you?"

starla · January 2017

@LoveInDC LOL that meme is perfect!

flashley-2 · January 2017

Lol these are hilarious..

DF say "Keep your fingers out of your vagina."
Me "Yup babe, k."
DF "Did you have your fingers in your vagina today?"

Men ......

beachbunnyxo123 · January 2017

Laughing out loud at all of these posts. Everytime after we have sex DH goes "boom, pregnant, BOY." I wish that's how it worked.

starla · January 2017

FLAshley said:

Lol these are hilarious..

DF say "Keep your fingers out of your vagina."
Me "Yup babe, k."
DF "Did you have your fingers in your vagina today?"

Men ......

I feel like you need to come up with a hilarious comeback to this. "Somebody has to stick their fingers in there!"...? Hmm I'll keep thinking...

JuneRoseRuby · January 2017

I told H about my RE appointment yesterday and his only comment was "so what kind of set up are you going to have for me to jack off into that cup? I'm definitely getting a handjob" Bro, it says masturbate, you can do it. You're not getting a handy out of me when I am getting all sorts of crap shoved up me right now.

haylsbayls-2 · January 2017

MY DH has been asking me everyday if there's a baby in there. And when I say no, he's like "well did you check?!". It's actually really cute though.

KristoKekerooni · January 2017

OMG. I love these.

My H is FULL of these.

My H just the other day when I called and then left a VM when he didn't answer.

H *calls back within minutes*: What did you want?????
M: Oh I just am doing the budget and I wanted to know what your estimate is for taxes this year.
H: THAT'S IT?!
M: Uh... yes?
H: You sounded really excited on the voicemail.
M: I guess I love budgeting?
H: I thought you got a positive pregnancy test...
M:....

Ya'll . Number one, I wasn't even sure if I had Od yet, and if I did, I was only 1 DPO. Also, I wouldn't tell him over the phone?!?!

dinosaur · January 2017

If I'm tired during fertil week my DH says "well, I can just make a sperm deposit"

Edit: error

cbobell2009 · January 2017

Ahh I love this!

Me: In bathroom dipping OPK in my sample cup.

DH: Comes into bathroom, stares at the cup, turns around and walks back out.

Me: Exiting the bathroom

DH: what was in the cup?

Me: Do I honestly have to explain this to you...

I mean come on! What else could it have possibly been! LOL

bluejeanbabi05 · January 2017

Lol @KristoKekerooni I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets excited about budgeting

KristoKekerooni · January 2017

@bluejeanbabi05 - OMG. yessssss. I LURVE budgeting.

adirat · January 2017

I posted this one the last time we did this thread, but it's still being said cycle after cycle starting at about 3dpo:

mr. adirat: "Why haven't you taken a test yet?"
adirat: "It won't be positive yet. I only ovulated X days ago."
mr. adirat: "Oh. How many days does it take? Like five?"
adirat: sigh.
mr. adirat: "Six?"

sheknows6 · January 2017

my H during FW:

"Assume the position"

So sexy honey, thank you

adirat · January 2017

@haylsbayls That is super cute! That reminds me of something my husband does which I find cute. He will sometimes ask me, "So, what has your temp been up to?" (meaning what is it doing, not what is its number) and every time I tell him up, down, etc., he will get a serious look on his face and say, "What does [low/high] mean again?" Because he really wants to know but he just cannot remember or understand temping.

This man is a scientist, by the way.

KristoKekerooni · January 2017

@adirat - YAS. Can we talk about how intelligently stupid some men are? Like, my H is hella smart but then he will pull the "Oh, it'll happen naturally, I know it"
Uhm. No you don't "know it." YOU HAVE NO SPERM. It's pretty much impossible, you dummy.

flashley-2 · January 2017

@sheknows6 hahah that's so funny. Assume position. Good one.

@adirat Haha, at least yours doesn't want to actually pee on the stick himself. Mine keeps saying 'I should try one of those just to see what it says...'

adirat · January 2017

@KristoKekerooni Yeah, I'm a little concerned about that when we get to the RE later this month. DH is extremely intelligent and well educated, but there have been more than a few TTC concepts he just can't grasp. I think it took three cycles before he understood that OPKs weren't HPTs.

tfrangul · January 2017

Hey ladies! I am newer to this board and reading these really brightened my day!
The cutest thing my DH said the other day was, I layed my head on your stomach while you were sleeping and i swear i heard 2 heartbeats! I said baby, thats sweet but you wouldnt be able to hear it like that. Lol

tfrangul · January 2017

Hey ladies! I am newer to this board and reading these really brightened my day!
The cutest thing my DH said the other day was, I layed my head on your stomach while you were sleeping and i swear i heard 2 heartbeats! I said baby, thats sweet but you wouldnt be able to hear it like that. Lol

KristoKekerooni · January 2017

@FLAshley - Oh my gosh, what is their fascination with peeing on our sticks?!? Mine has taken my HPTs and even OPKs and peed on them before. Major eyeroll from me, ha

@adirat - Oh gosh, I give my H a little talk before each appointment to go over what we do and do not know. "No, honey, do not ask if we should have sex multiple times a day to 'cure' this. We are doing IVF for a reason." "No boobear, my local OBGYN cannot do the IVF, the RE is a specialist." "No, babycakes, she is not going to do an US on me right now to see if I am pregnant 'just in case.' I promise, I'm not considering I just finished my period and haven't ovulated yet"
Insert another eyeroll here.

adirat · January 2017

@KristoKekerooni
""No, babycakes, she is not going to do an US on me right now to see if I am pregnant 'just in case.' I promise, I'm not considering I just finished my period and haven't ovulated yet""

YES! My husband has said something like this several times. I fully admit that I have also had this thought before though... ("OK, so it's CD6 after a heavy period, but maybe this MRI will show I am actually pregnant!")

KristoKekerooni · January 2017

Haha, @adirat , I mean, I fell you I've had the tiniest glimmer of "maybe" too, but I wouldn't actually ask to have an US! lol

flashley-2 · January 2017

@KristoKekerooni Bahahaha let me guess your H wasn't KU.

crazypuglady · January 2017

OMG I love this thread so much.

The first time I tried to explain BBT and CM charting.. he tried to dismiss it as some kind of new-age fad... when I showed him examples of charts he was more interested. (Science + data = real). I was talking to him about hormones and how they drive different phases in the cycle and he looked at me, shook is head and said "you women are just too complicated."

Our first cycle TTC I had a really long LP and a lot of BFNs. He kept asking me if I got AF and I told him no and was I'm not turning tests either. He told me I couldn't be KU because we don't have sex enough. UM- we definitely had -1 timing (if FF was right about Oday)... and there's ~20% chance every cycle. I responded with- You DO know you only need 1 time right?

He has also had the discussion several times about how he's not expecting us to be KU for a long time. While this may turn out to be true.. I keep telling him every month we try there's a chance. His response is "you're so confident" Nope, not confident.... biology.

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