My UO is how people still use months after their kid is a year old. I think I saw 26 months on here once and I was screaming in my head, "2 !!!! YOUR KID IS 2 !!!" Drives me absolutely nuts. But at the end of the day, to each their own.
My kid is over 1 and I'll admit I still use months. I think between 1 and 2 development changes rapidly and that's why I do it. Like a baby who just turned 1 is going to be very developmentally different than an 18 month old. After 2, I'm hoping I'll be using years but no guarantees
BFP May 2013 - MMC at 8 weeks BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015 BFP November 2016 - pending...
@AdaByron I didn't have a chance to read everything but I can see your posts!
I know im late to the epidural discussion but if I am lucky enough to get my VBAC I do plan to do it without one because my spinal SUCKED for my c section and it was an emergency or anything it was just due to breech. It was a resident and I couldn't feel anything up to my shoulders so between that and the reaction to the meds they made me swallow before that caused me to throw up during the entire procedure I want to avoid the drugs. I never have a great reaction to them. I don't give a rats butt if you do or don't and I don't know why people do.
@AdaByron I didn't have a chance to read everything but I can see your posts!
I know im late to the epidural discussion but if I am lucky enough to get my VBAC I do plan to do it without one because my spinal SUCKED for my c section and it was an emergency or anything it was just due to breech. It was a resident and I couldn't feel anything up to my shoulders so between that and the reaction to the meds they made me swallow before that caused me to throw up during the entire procedure I want to avoid the drugs. I never have a great reaction to them. I don't give a rats butt if you do or don't and I don't know why people do.
Hmmm. Well I had epidural, and they didn't think it was working well enough and did a spinal instead. Holy cow was there a difference, with epidural, numb from bottom of ribcage down, but could still move a bit whereas spinal was numb from shoulders down AND felt like an elephant was on my chest. If I can do this c section with just epidural, I am going to. Hated spinal.
Late to this, and I don't post often. Still, I wanted to chime in and say I feel like home births are getting unfairly slammed. Maybe this is because I live in the UK in a big city, where it sounds like home births could be more commonplace. I’m a FTM still early in my pregnancy, so I’ll be the first to say that I’m no expert.
I don’t want to repeat what people have already said about midwife supported home births, but to add as a response to the earlier comments about a need for a hospital environment:
- It’s only recommended as an option here if you’re considered low risk.
- If there’s even the slightest indication that something is starting to go wrong, you’ll be transferred to the hospital immediately. There are standard procedures in place for this.
- The guidance here does say that FTMs have a higher likelihood of being transferred to the hospital due to complications (45 out of 100, versus 12 out of 100 for STM+) so FTMs are informed, but they're not discouraged doing what they feel is right for them and their family.
Home birth isn't for me this time because I’m a high-anxiety FTM (in a tiny rental apartment) who wants to be where the doctors are. However, I do feel like it’s not something to be judged.
Late to this, and I don't post often. Still, I wanted to chime in and say I feel like home births are getting unfairly slammed. Maybe this is because I live in the UK in a big city, where it sounds like home births could be more commonplace. I’m a FTM still early in my pregnancy, so I’ll be the first to say that I’m no expert.
I don’t want to repeat what people have already said about midwife supported home births, but to add as a response to the earlier comments about a need for a hospital environment:
- It’s only recommended as an option here if you’re considered low risk.
- If there’s even the slightest indication that something is starting to go wrong, you’ll be transferred to the hospital immediately. There are standard procedures in place for this.
- The guidance here does say that FTMs have a higher likelihood of being transferred to the hospital due to complications (45 out of 100, versus 12 out of 100 for STM+) so FTMs are informed, but they're not discouraged doing what they feel is right for them and their family.
Home birth isn't for me this time because I’m a high-anxiety FTM (in a tiny rental apartment) who wants to be where the doctors are. However, I do feel like it’s not something to be judged.
I think this argument is definitely a U.S. issue and I can see a lot of home birthing advocates citing your rationale as reasons for, but alas, our healthcare system is so different from our european counterparts' (and really most of worlds)
@satsumasandlemons Fair point. I haven't lived in the US for a while now, and I don't know the first thing about having babies there. I imagine larger metro areas might have better accommodations or procedures for women wanting a home birth. You're right though, and it probably also depends on what's available / commonplace where you live.
@satsumasandlemons Fair point. I haven't lived in the US for a while now, and I don't know the first thing about having babies there. I imagine larger metro areas might have better accommodations or procedures for women wanting a home birth. You're right though, and it probably also depends on what's available / commonplace where you live.
Actually, it may be different for other women, but from what I've seen in my first BMB of women across the country rural and urban, it almost seems easier for people in rural areas - or at least not Los Angeles, lol. It was pretty much cost prohibitive for me - I'd have to pay like, $6k? maybe? I forget... and my out of pocket cost of pregnancy and c/s birth was $0.
@LarkSparkle I think the UK has a much better set-up for home birth, and is overall more midwife focused for obstetrics than the US. I think there are also really great midwifery practices in the US who do absolutely fantastic home-births; you just need to make sure your practice is reputable. Most have a relationship and delivery rights with a local hospital, so that if things get complicated, they can transfer and admit you immediately. @stokesm21 We had to do a lot of developmental testing with DS1 and ended up using months with his age until 3 (36). There are so many shifts in expected development that vary by 1-2 months, it just made more sense to use months in conversation up to that point.
@satsumasandlemons Fair point. I haven't lived in the US for a while now, and I don't know the first thing about having babies there. I imagine larger metro areas might have better accommodations or procedures for women wanting a home birth. You're right though, and it probably also depends on what's available / commonplace where you live.
Actually, it may be different for other women, but from what I've seen in my first BMB of women across the country rural and urban, it almost seems easier for people in rural areas - or at least not Los Angeles, lol. It was pretty much cost prohibitive for me - I'd have to pay like, $6k? maybe? I forget... and my out of pocket cost of pregnancy and c/s birth was $0.
I live in a rural area. Rural living has its own challenges. For instance I am one hour from my OB and nearest hospital. Home births may be less expensive here but I do not feel comfortable being an hour away from a hospital if something goes wrong.
Epidurals: It's a love/hate. I always wait too late. I'm holding a baby within 4-5 hours and my contractions are at the annoying stage but not hurting - this is when my husband calls for one. Waiting for the doctor to show up is longer than getting it put in. I'm always induced so pitocin helps the birthing process. (42w2d, PreE, scheduled induction @city hospital vs rural hospital). #3 I had a window aka an area lower right abdomen that it didn't work, #2 quick but when they went to remove it, it was a little stuck and took a bit to get it out. #1 HEAVEN!!
For hospital vs. birthing centers vs. home... it's a congratulations! We are all mamas and make decisions that are best for our own children and ourselves. Clearly homebirth doesn't work for my health history. More than that #1 had a detectable pneumothorax at birth and we had a fun push him back in a little to blindly cut the really tight cord birthing experience. #2 undetectable pneomuthorax and a mesenteric hernia discovered at 12 hours. #3 3 heart defects and one very skilled nicu doctor barely heard a murmur the next day (dd had been checked over during 3 other shift rotations of doctors from the neighboring children's hospital) and given health history ordered an echo.
I'm all for modern medicine and preparing for the worst but I've had some really scary moments with my kiddos. I hope as i get further along everything is still good and I can deliver in state - I live rurally and my delivery hospital, midwife and Mfm doctors are already 3 hours away. We do have a nice regional hospital in town.
I live in a rural area. Rural living has its own challenges. For instance I am one hour from my OB and nearest hospital. Home births may be less expensive here but I do not feel comfortable being an hour away from a hospital if something goes wrong.
I too live in the country. Although they have a hospital here they will not deliver and instead will put you in an ambulance. My chosen hospital is a little over 45 mins away. It's a scary thought but I manage. I'm more afraid that my husband is going to be on some crazy ass job that takes him forever to get away if I go into labour. I have family around but I'd really rather it be him. I personally would never do a home birth. You just never know what could happen. Sure, lots of them go perfectly fine but if something really bad ended up happening, like the loss of my baby, I would never forgive myself.
Birth plans, parenting plans, and all things related: have an idea of your ideal in mind, but be willing to let it go the second that stops working for you. This shit is hard. Harder than you can imagine. (And amazing and worth it.) No one f'ing cares how your baby came into this world but you. Seriously. So the more flexible you are, the more you can roll with the punches and appreciate the baby in your arms. (This includes breastfeeding, screentime, how you feed your child, how they sleep. Everything.)
This. When my cousin was pregnant with her second I remember her saying that she never had a "plan." The baby is going to do what it's going to do and there isn't much you can do about that. I always felt I would be the same and now that I'm pregnant, here we are and I have no plan. I hope to go drug-free but if I'm in enough pain, I'll get it. What I need to learn more about is c-sections. Those scare me so I think I need to educate myself a bit more on what kind of complications can force a c-section and what to expect if that's what happens.
Re: Unpopular Opinion (UO) Thursday
BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks
BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks
BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks
BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015
BFP November 2016 - pending...
I know im late to the epidural discussion but if I am lucky enough to get my VBAC I do plan to do it without one because my spinal SUCKED for my c section and it was an emergency or anything
it was just due to breech. It was a resident and I couldn't feel anything up to my shoulders so between that and the reaction to the meds they made me swallow before that caused me to throw up during the entire procedure I want to avoid the drugs. I never have a great reaction to them. I don't give a rats butt if you do or don't and I don't know why people do.
Fair point. I haven't lived in the US for a while now, and I don't know the first thing about having babies there. I imagine larger metro areas might have better accommodations or procedures for women wanting a home birth. You're right though, and it probably also depends on what's available / commonplace where you live.
@stokesm21 We had to do a lot of developmental testing with DS1 and ended up using months with his age until 3 (36). There are so many shifts in expected development that vary by 1-2 months, it just made more sense to use months in conversation up to that point.
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
For hospital vs. birthing centers vs. home... it's a congratulations! We are all mamas and make decisions that are best for our own children and ourselves. Clearly homebirth doesn't work for my health history. More than that #1 had a detectable pneumothorax at birth and we had a fun push him back in a little to blindly cut the really tight cord birthing experience. #2 undetectable pneomuthorax and a mesenteric hernia discovered at 12 hours. #3 3 heart defects and one very skilled nicu doctor barely heard a murmur the next day (dd had been checked over during 3 other shift rotations of doctors from the neighboring children's hospital) and given health history ordered an echo.
I'm all for modern medicine and preparing for the worst but I've had some really scary moments with my kiddos. I hope as i get further along everything is still good and I can deliver in state - I live rurally and my delivery hospital, midwife and Mfm doctors are already 3 hours away. We do have a nice regional hospital in town.
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie