Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Ask a STM week 1/2
As he got older, snacks could always be found in the diaper bag. Extra formula and bottles. I was pretty bare-minimum with our diaper bag. Probably be the same this time around.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
- a change of clothes (I learned this the very hard way)
- the obvious stuff like diapers, wipes, changing pad, rash cream if needed
- a couple of pacifiers if you plan to use them (will need more than one since they constantly fall on the floor. If you have Soothies, they fall and then bounce and roll 100 feet. Annoying!).
- sippy cup when baby gets bigger
- a change of socks when baby is small. Socks have a way of magically disappearing.
I wouldn't say that there's anything that's not important truthfully. If you feel like you need it, put it in there.
Now with my 2 year my only necessities are snacks, water, diaper and wipes, and usually I just throw those in my purse.
older-I now don't leave without minimally : 1diaper, wipes, snack, cup with water
As a toddler my sons bad is considerably heavier, lol. Still change of clothes, diapers and wipes, but also includes a snack, a book, water, a big towel bib (often used as a towel and not a bib!), sunglasses, a nonrolling toy......plus my purse stuff.
I didn't have a c section, and recovery wise would have been ok going back after a few weeks, but I would have been really bitter that I couldn't spend that time with my new baby.
I only took 8 weeks off, but was able to WFH and take some important calls and whatnot during the second 4 weeks and I think it really helped me not resent my company.
The sacks with Velcro swaddles? just will depend a lot on your baby. You won't know till their here if they like being swaddled tight or not. Everyone seems to swear by wrapping tight, but my DD hated being wrapped up and would only sleep stretched out. So you'll find out what babies preference is pretty fast.
SO: your call! register and if someone buys it for you to try out cool! If baby uses it and does well or can only sleep with one, then grab a few more??
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
ETA: in short, feel free to put sleep sacks on your registry, but I would keep the tags on or a gift receipt or whatever in case it's something that you don't think you'll use in the end.
ETA again: I just reread your post and it sounds like you're talking more about swaddles. Total fail on my part. Disregard everything I just said above! Ha!
Both my kids needed to be swaddled in order to sleep. We loved the Halo sleep sacks with velcro swaddling here
https://www.amazon.com/SwaddleMe-Pod-2-PK-Dino-Trucks/dp/B0107CYKJ2/ref=pd_sim_75_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B0107CYKJ2&pd_rd_r=3EA7R631BJR45B39HGVE&pd_rd_w=U1Cdx&pd_rd_wg=ZFDil&psc=1&refRID=3EA7R631BJR45B39HGVE
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
Another reason to hold off on too many of anything until you figure out what baby likes. DD is a hot blooded little thing, so I had some thicker swaddle sacks that she never really used because it was just too hot. That is probably also why she liked the muslin blankets so well.
yorkie mama to Oscar
FTM EDD 3.12.17
Although I did watch Business of Being Born which has births in it.
Just don't watch A Baby Story.:/
I just searched "natural labor" on YouTube with my first and watched a few. Personally helped me feel more prepared and not as mystified by the process, but there's no NEED to watch anything unless you want to and feel like it would be helpful to you.
Not very necessary for the first few months (in my opinion) because most newborns sleep like... well: newborns! for the first 3ish months - sleeping anywhere and on the go, and through the noise.
After that--depends on your house and your kid! I have friends with kids who sleep like pros no matter where and with whatever noise-I personally have a very light sleeper and love the white noise because our house is small, old, and echoey : without it she doesn't sleep as well, with it I can do louder chores downstairs during naptime and not need to worry about waking her.
I think it was about a few weeks pp before I lost the initial water weight and such. I was soooo puffy towards the end with my son and I had horrible swelling in my feet and ankles. Even though I breastfed for 2 years, the weight didn't just fall off. Some women can lose weight easily just with breastfeeding, but this isn't true for everyone. I used to play roller derby, so I started skating again 2 weeks pp.