April 2017 Moms

Mental Health Check in

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Re: Mental Health Check in

  • HGRichHGRich member
    edited December 2016
    @jennielynn+ Thank you. And I think that's a good idea. Because moms all grieve so differently it might be good to ask her if she wants to even bring it up, but letting her know you're available to talk is huge, even if she doesn't take you up on it. From talking to other mamas who have lost, I've learned it really just helps to have someone recognize the life you held, the realness of your love, and the legitimacy of your grief. Whether an early loss or a late. I think your friend will appreciate it, but be aware that she may not take you up on it.  But women all feel different about it. 
  • One week until Christmas, days are shorter, weather is colder...how's everyone doing?
    Me: 31
    DH: 36
    Married 5 years
    DD born 8/30/13
    #2 expected 4/25/17
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  • @cafedisco that's such a loaded question for me haha. I always have seasonal depression anyway, and the weather has been so horrible. Christmas is no fun and exhausting. It's not good. But on the plus side, I have to use my accumulated vacation days before the end of the year and I'll have six days off from this Wednesday to next Tuesday. I think that will give me a boost. 
  • We are going to France for Christmas so will be a bit cold, which I never like.  And the family always likes to go on big walks in the cold, brrrr.....  but I just bought a pair of Ugg Avery boots yesterday and they are the warmest and most comfortable things ever, so that lifted my mood considerably! Also have a super grip so very safe for pregnant ladies.  Bring on the snow! 
    Me:  35 year old FTM, a busy city banker living in London, and a constant worrier. 
    My DH:  French guy, car fanatic, best husband ever.  
    Our baby boy:  Due on 17 April, currently 37 weeks.  I can't believe it - I made it to full term!!!! 
    Last measurement:  3150 gs at 37+1!  This is going to be a big baby :)
  • Christmastime is my favorite time of year by far, so the cold/shorter days doesn't really start bothering me until later in the winter. The only thing that's stressing me out lately is my in-laws visiting for the holiday. My MIL always says the weirdest, most passive-aggressive things but it has gotten worse during this pregnancy (or maybe I am just more sensitive) and I am not looking forward to her comments. Silver lining is they live 2,000 miles away so we only see them a few times a year ;) Also, happy to report my SSRI's have started kicking in and my anxiety is definitely improving. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Have you checked out the SAD lamps @hgrich they sell on Amazon. Ive hear they work so its be worth a try!
  • @SDSwenson I have considered one. I've always hesitated based on needing to research their safety and effectiveness. On the other hand, my grandmother suffered from SAD far worse than I and claimed hers helped. So I may need to get one. 
  • @kitkat8387 I'm so glad your SSRI is working well!  Any negative side effects?

    @HGRich my blues get amplified in winter too. If you do try a lamp, I'd be curious to hear how it helps. I took vitamin D in high dose for a few winters but I couldn't say I noticed a difference. 
    Me: 31
    DH: 36
    Married 5 years
    DD born 8/30/13
    #2 expected 4/25/17
  • I'll answer you here @smallanimal in case anyone is using the title of the mental health thread to avoid triggers. 
    I have vacation days to use so I'm enjoying getting to be myself at home and not have to keep wearing the happy Christmas face at work. Sometime last week I realized that I can be all organized and excited in future christmases and this year, if the only Christmas card I send is to my brother in prison, so be it. If I can't find an extra gift for my MIL or DH's grandma outside of the family gift then so be it--I'm making a grandbaby/great-grandbaby for them so I've done my part. Haha. 

    So I've decided to give myself the grace to not be excited about Christmas or on top of it. My MIL even told me I don't need to bring any food to Christmas, and I suspect she knows how I'm feeling. I'm just telling myself it's ok to not feel like I have to be happy at Christmas or enjoy all the traditions. I'll just make it through this year and God willing have a happy Christmas with my 8-month old next year.

    As far as the due date, it's so hard. I was supposed to be 39+2 today! But I keep reminding myself how grateful I am to have this little one. Interestingly, viability day for her is the day before my original due date. It's crazy. DH took the day off on the EDD and he and I will take some time together to reflect and then do something fun. I've actually been blogging through the process since the loss, and have had several other angel mamas comment on it and share how it has helped them too. So I'll probably write one more entry and then perhaps be finished. I think it will give me closure, and then perhaps will be easier for me. I don't know. But either way, it will be over soon, and I'm doing better thinking about it as it gets closer than I was a couple of weeks ago. 

    Thanks for asking/letting me vent. It's a weird Christmas this year. 
  • @HGRich hugs to you  <3
    Me: 29 DH: 33
    Married: 5/30/2013
    DSS #1: 5/25/2007
    DSS #2: 1/22/2011
    DS #3: 7/8/2012
    BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
    DS #4: 4/21/17
  • @HGRich  actually I wanted to ask in this thread, just made a mistake.  So glad you moved the answer back.  :smile:

    You know, it's perfectly OK not to be excited about christmas!  It's over hyped anyhow.  I am sure when the day itself comes, you will have a lovely time with your family.  And about the EDD, it's nice to remember and set time aside.  I kind of wish I had done that.  

    Glad to hear it's getting a bit better. Tell us more if you feel like it.  Hugs :heart:

    Silly moment of the day:  I just looked at your signature and thought, hey, she cannot be 23+2, she has the same EDD as I do - then I realised, omg, I am also 23+2!! Time flies :smiley:

    Me:  35 year old FTM, a busy city banker living in London, and a constant worrier. 
    My DH:  French guy, car fanatic, best husband ever.  
    Our baby boy:  Due on 17 April, currently 37 weeks.  I can't believe it - I made it to full term!!!! 
    Last measurement:  3150 gs at 37+1!  This is going to be a big baby :)
  • @smallanimal thank you. I'm amazed how much of the expectation for Christmas is placed on myself and how freeing it is to let go of that. Though when you work at a church, Christmas is everything, so it's hard to avoid unless using vacation days! Haha. And yes, time is flying! 
  • @cafedisco I was seriously nauseous for the first few days I was on it, but luckily that passed. Now just mainly dealing with the low sex drive thing, but its pretty hard to tell whether it's a side effect of the medicine or me just being tired and feeling fat ;)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @Nolegirl1185 thank you, that means a lot! 
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