Randoms - Week of December 5th

ADRIANAC1982 · December 2016

@ale9687 Friday I will be 20w! So 24 feels like forever and a day away but from support groups Ive found online ladies and babies have done it so i have to stay strong and keep praying every day that we get there

wifeinraleigh28 · December 2016

@ADRIANAC1982 Ahhh it sounds like your LO and your body are doing what they are supposed to do to keep a thriving little baby in there! I just know you will make it to 24 weeks if you've made it this far already! Yay!

@AandDM2014 LOVE that ornament!! What a cute way to commemorate this Christmas for years to come!

@JaneJane Sorry about your boss's response. The last thing us pregnant ladies need is job stress, and I wish people were more mindful of that in the workplace. I'm leaving my job for a new job next week because of how awful my boss has been to me lately. It's just not fair. In your case though, it does sound like he was just shocked by what you were saying since he congratulated you later. I'm sure everything will be fine!

Like I briefly just touched on, I've been extremely stressed at work lately and I'm worried all the stress will hurt my baby. I decided to leave the private practice I'm at currently because my boss, who has been pretty horrible to work for the entire time, has decided to change all our contracts to result in pay cuts because she said she needs to be more profitable as a business since her husband lost his job. Found this out from her when I was 9 weeks pregnant so I started worrying about either dealing with a pay cut when we're about to have a baby or finding a new job while pregnant. I got really lucky and was able to join a long time friend/colleague in her new business endeavor, so I'm joining her private practice next week. Well ever since I gave my notice at work, my boss refuses to acknowledge that I exist anymore. It is so awkward. She is a very reactive person too so I'm afraid of doing anything that might piss her off before I'm out of there at the end of the week. Last night I was shredding papers in her office after she had left (I waited until she left so I wouldn't have to be in the same room with her) and the shredder jammed. As I tried to unjam it paper shreds went flying everywhere and I cut my finger on the teeth of the machine. I freaked out, knowing I couldn't leave it that way or she might flip out on me, so I lugged the heavy vacuum cleaner up the stairs (it's a 2 story commercial town house) so that I could clean it all up. I came home after and just cried because of how stressed out I was. And now I'm thinking I want to see if my OB will see me this week just to check on my baby to make sure she's still doing okay after all the stress.

Sorry for the long rant, it has just been quite a week.

kdanjou · December 2016

@ADRIANAC1982 You are such an awesome momma!

dragonfaerie · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 Ugh, I'm sorry that your boss is being so rotten and work is rough. That definitely does not make for a stress-free pregnancy. it's definitely good you are getting out of there. Don't worry too much about baby, as long you can go home and take some deep, even breaths to calm down, they'll be okay. Whenever I have a stressful time, once I'm calm I just rub my belly and start listing happy things. Just try to stay in a bad mood when you are connecting with baby!

Hugs for you , and praying the rest of your transition goes as smoothly as possible

wifeinraleigh28 · December 2016

Thank you @dragonfaerie! I am trying to be extra good to my baby now. I did rub my belly a bunch last night and today I'm trying to eat all the healthy foods. I know that she is very well protected in there! Whenever I worry about doing something wrong I remind myself that crack babies are born all the time and that makes me feel better (in a morbid way haha).

Tulips29 · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 I'm sorry you have to deal with such a boss at work and the unnecessary stress. But don't worry, your baby is safe. Just focus on the positives, you'll be out of that place so soon and be in a better environment. Do something that relaxes you when you come home to take your mind off it. Hopefully your next appointment is coming up soon and you'll be assured that your little babe is doing well.

janejane-2 · December 2016

Thanks ladies for the pep talk. I can always go back to my former job so that does give me some peace of mind.

@Tulips29 I'll be short of the 12 months for FMLA to kick in.

@wifeinraleigh28 So glad you've decided to move on. No job is worth the stress esp if it can affect the baby.

@ADRIANAC1982 Thank you for keeping us updated. So glad to hear that your little guy is a fighter.

JWatt5 · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 - that's terrible - I don't understand employers like that but you've done the right thing - get out of there. Employers can have a shocked initial response to news like pregnancy or someone giving their resignation but if they can't keep their own emotions in check about it - getting out of that is the best thing for you. Being the "boss" doesn't give you the right to be a total a**hole to anyone for any reason. I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of situation and good luck in your new job, sounds like it will be a waaaay better fit for you!

wifeinraleigh28 · December 2016

Thank you so much for the support everyone! I'm looking forward and so excited for my new chapter. After today I won't have to see the horrible boss again. @Tulips29 Unfortunately my next appointment isn't until the 29th. I really want to see if they will see me before then just to ease my mind. I'll call in a little bit and talk to a nurse!

dragonfaerie · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 Will your doc let you pop in for a quick doppler?

I just did my workout and Wee Boy was wiggling way more than he usually does when I'm exercising. I could just imagine him in there: "Like this, Mom?"

Here's a little chuckle for everyone

wifeinraleigh28 · December 2016

@dragonfaerie I just left a message for the advice nurse so I'll ask about a quick doppler when they call me back. I'm so excited to be able to feel my baby! When I was lying down to go to sleep last night I felt something that could have been movement, or could've been something else. Since I'm only 14 weeks I know it's super early to feel anything so I'm looking forward to the day when I definitely know it was the baby!

Love the meme. I'm dying!

dragonfaerie · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 I felt something that could only be Wee Boy around 14 weeks. It was a little set of tickles that were different than anything else I'd ever felt. I didn't really feel him again until after the anatomy scan, but embrace those burbles!

ale9687 · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 my ob told me if you think hm maybe that was baby it probably is! I felt random things here and there around 16 weeks so it deff could've been babe.

chicandbubbly · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh It felt like butterfly wings fluttering at first! (Probably around 16 weeks for me?) So it could definitely be your baby! Now it is crazy to see my entire stomach moving around and feeling kicks and punches all day. LOL. Sorry about the work stress but I am glad you are able to move jobs... I am very annoyed at work at the moment as well. Thankfully I have been working from home the last few days so I can avoid my boss.

Tulips29 · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 it definitely could have been the baby, especially if it's a new feeling you haven't felt before. I felt a swoosh-like rollercoaster feeling around 16 weeks I believe and then felt nothing for a long while. I also read that early baby movements feel like butterflies, going down on a rollercoaster, tickling and I felt none of those. Mine felt like small muscle spasms really low in my belly and then got stronger with time.

clt2pwm11 · December 2016

Love the Christmas ornament with the three peas in a pod! That's adorable!

@wifeinraleigh28 I felt things that I thought might be the baby, but I want until this week (wk 19) that I felt a strong"kick" and knew it was baby.

Today I am having a ton of pressure in my lower abdomen. It hurts to stand up after sitting for a bit (20 minutes or so). I don't know what outt is, but I hope it passes soon. It is super uncomfortable.

wifeinraleigh28 · December 2016

Y'all are the best! Yeah I suppose it felt like a little flutter, it was definitely noticeable. I hope it was baby!!

I did end up seeing my OB yesterday morning. After talking with the advice nurse on the phone and telling her about some of my symptoms, she said that they all sound normal but that I can come in if I want reassurance, so of course I took her up on that offer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me or the baby. The midwife I saw did a pelvic exam to make sure all was well with my cervix (all good) and used a microscope to look for infection (there wasn't). I also gave urine to make sure I didn't have a UTI (I don't). And the baby's heart is thumping away at 151 bpm. The appointment put me in a good mood to go and deal with things at the office.

On a completely separate note, one of my clients (age 16) asked me last night if I was pregnant. It completely caught me off guard. I was hoping to wait until January to share my news with my clients and I hadn't even given much thought yet as to how I was going to do it clinically. I've been really careful about what I wear to work (big baggy shirts) but I guess it's getting more and more obvious. This particular client actually said she's known for a few weeks now (great). My other clients are probably suspecting it too and are just a bit more censored than this particular client. I may need to just start telling them.

clt2pwm11 · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 My students knew like immediately. Everyday the kindergarteners ask me "you got a baby in your belly?" or "when you go to the hospital to have your baby?" or my favorite "can I name your baby?" lol

dragonfaerie · December 2016

@clt2pwm11 I'm sorry you are having weird pain/pressure. I would mention it at your next appointment for sure. You never know when something is noteworthy
@wifeinraleigh28 It's funny how some ppl just seem to be more aware of pregnancy than others. I thought I was super obvious gaining weight so I told work, but then everyone was surprised. Don't worry too much about it, most people will be too politic to say anything until you do.

BornReady · December 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 I do the same work as you and had a client ask me around the same gestation. It was my first time meeting the client (50 year old male) and I actually said, "Oh it's just an unflattering shirt" and I've felt guilty about it ever since! Obviously, I've since apologized and said he was right. With my son I didn't tell my clients until around week 20-22 maybe? I work mostly with adolescents and the first one I told said, "Thank God, I just thought you were getting fat!". Uhhh thanks kid!

I am 20 weeks today and still haven't told anyone other than that original guy, but like you have been wearing baggy shirts. I live in New England though, so hiding a belly is a little easier! This past week I suspect clients are noticing, so I'll be sending my kid's parents an email as a heads up that I"ll be mentioning it their children and start addressing it with my adult clients in session. Last time I just stopped disguising the bump and they could see when I got them in the waiting room. My conversations differed from person to person. I work primarily as a trauma therapist, so my clients reactions were usually a reflection of their own histories around people leaving them etc.

I will say working in mental health was interesting while pregnant. I actually had to stop taking intakes a few months before my due date, because people were pretty unenthused that I was pregnant and would be leaving them in a relatively brief amount of time. It was hard for people to get on board with the idea of "trusting" someone when they knew I would leave and someone else would have to "start over" while I was on maternity leave.

Sorry about your work situation by the way, glad you found something that is a better fit!

BlueEyedDreamer · December 2016

@BornReady and @wifeinraleigh28 I can't believe your clients actually ask you that outright! I mean, I guess younger ones can get away with being rude, but I would never ask someone, even if I thought it was obvious, if they were pregnant or not. What if they're not and they just gained some weight???

wifeinraleigh28 · December 2016

@BlueEyedDreamer It was certainly a risky thing for her to say! On the other hand, she is a very bright kid and actually plans to go to medical school and wants to be an OB one day. She said she can always tell when someone is pregnant and that she could even see it in my face oddly enough. I've also been working with her for over a year now so I guess she's used to me by now!

@BornReady Since this is my first kid, this is brand new territory for me to navigate with clients. Last night we ended up having a discussion about my maternity leave and what that would look like, and she was very worried that I wouldn't come back to work like a teacher of her's did a few years ago. Right now I don't have any trauma clients that I'm working with but I do have some with pretty serious dx's... like MDD, bipolar, GAD, etc, so I know it's going to be something that we'll need to really process and prepare for. But I seriously have NOT even thought about telling my clients yet! Especially with my office move, I didn't want to hit them with too much all at once!

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