TTC After a Loss

***December TWW***

A safe place for those of us in the dreaded TWW. 

Also so how did it become December already???? 
 ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
Me (39) DH (40) 
From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
DH- no kids
******************
TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
**10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
«13456710

Re: ***December TWW***

  • I've been pretty quiet lately but thought I'd chime in. I'm 9 DPO. I'm a little discouraged by the lack of sore boobs but have some pulls and cramps here and there so I don't know. This is the typical part of the cycle that I begin to get down and this month is particularly hard for me personally since its when we conceived last year. How has it been a year already? Milestones suck. 
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
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  • Hugs @roxgibbons. <3 Milestones do suck. Yesterday and today are the anniversary of when I got my very first BFPs. It got me down a bit yesterday. As a result, I am symptom spotting hard and I'm only 5DPO at best. Slight cramp? Pregnant. Stuffy nose? Pregnant. I KNOW it's too early for these symptoms, but my brain is illogical right now. Like you, when I realize it's been a year, I just feel stunned. It feels like that much time can't possibly have gone by, but it has.
  • @roxgibbons thanks for getting us started. I can't believe it's December. I'm right there with you and @RiverSong15...I am also coming up on a year since my BFP. It has been hard and I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself. I can't believe it's been a year...if I don't get a BFP this cycle we've decided it's time to see an RE. I'm dreading it because it's like admitting that there's a problem...and that's scary. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @roxgibbons @RiverSong15 I hear you on the symptom spotting.  5DPO and last night after DH and I DTD there was a fair amount of blood.  That never happens unless AF is imminent, but it happened the one time I got PG before.  But I KNOW it's too early for IB so I'm a basket case today.  Rationally I understand it's most likely just irritation from too much BDing but the irrational monster that has taken over my brain is all "IB IB IB!"

    @MooFish2364 We're going to an RE if we're unsuccessful this cycle too.  RE buddies  <3
  • laeberge3laeberge3 member
    edited December 2016
    I'm with you ladies on this being a difficult month.  @roxgibbons,  we conceived this month last year as well.  I so very clearly remember getting AF last year on 12/2 (I remember it being the same day as the San Bernadino shootings) and being excited as it was going to be our first month trying/not preventing.  Now here we are a year later and like @MooFish2364 and @migdala, we're preparing for a RE visit.  I'm also scared of the possibility of a problem, but also hopeful that the RE will identify a fixable problem.  Here's to hoping, at least.

    I think I might actually, really, truly go here now.  Haha.  This has been a cycle from hell, but I had two clearly positive OPKs and saw a temp jump this morning that I don't question. I've also had O pain and lots of watery CM, so it might have actually happened.  This excites and stresses me out because now I worry about quality of the egg should it be successful (it is CD 52  :| ), my ongoing thyroid issues, etc.  We will just wait and see, but I'm going to try to keep the BSC at bay. 
    Me: 35     DH: 37
    BFP: 1.6.16 | MC: 2.17.16
    BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
    BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
    BFP:  1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17 <3
    BFP:  9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19 <3
    BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
    BFP: 11.11.21 | EDD 7.24.22 

     

  • @roxgibbons thanks for getting us started. I can't believe it's December. I'm right there with you and @RiverSong15...I am also coming up on a year since my BFP. It has been hard and I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself. I can't believe it's been a year...if I don't get a BFP this cycle we've decided it's time to see an RE. I'm dreading it because it's like admitting that there's a problem...and that's scary


    I'm stuck in the box bc I'm mobiling but I 100% agree with this! I kept putting off scheduling an appt because I didn't want to admit something was wrong and every month DH would say "I can feel it, we're close. I know we are"...not sure how we're "close" either it happens or it doesn't but I wouldn't say that to him. Regardless 18 months post MC I decided enough was enough and went to my first appt three weeks ago. I'm still a little in denial that we need actual treatment in order to have a baby but it does alleviate some of the stress to have a plan that doesn't require just the same old stuff that hasn't been working. 

    Good luck to everyone beginning their RE journey. And hugs to everyone having a tough week/month filled with triggers <3
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • So many hugs for everyone this month. Add me to the list of people who conceived this month last year. It sucks. I am 6 DPO right now and just trying to cool my jets for 4-5 more days before I test. Not gonna lie, I am not optimistic right now about my ability to get pregnant.
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • RiverSong15RiverSong15 member
    edited December 2016
    @MooFish2364 @migdala @laeberge3 I hear you on the RE thing. H and I had a RE consult for RPL a few weeks ago. I dragged my feet making the appointment because I just didn't want to think about it. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I just kept thinking that I couldn't believe we were there. I know RPL is not the same problem as trying for 1+ years without luck, but I'm glad we went. Even though my RE thinks we just have had bad luck, it was reassuring to know that we've done all the testing we could. The clinic also provides enhanced support for patients once they are pregnant again, even naturally. She gave me the OK to take baby aspirin and progesterone with another BFP, and they will run betas and give me an early ultrasound. Knowing I will have that support next time around eases my anxiety a bit, just because we have a plan. GL as you go to your appointments. Hugs to everyone with milestones this week <3


  • I'm sorry for everyone who has a BFP anniversary this month - these milestones are never easy. I'm 5 DPO and have been cramping a bit. Yes I know it's too early for anything  but I just wish I knew why our bodies do these things. I feel like I randomly cramp and have sore boobs throughout my cycle. Mother Nature is so lovely! 
  • @TScalei My boobs get so sore every TWW and it's a total mind game
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • Looks like I go here.  I had two positive OPKs Tuesday and Wednesday. Today I'm at low.  now it's the waiting game.  


  • I hate this point in the TWW, from 5DPO to 9DPO.  I become an absolute crazy person, I over-analyze EVERYTHING.  I got my last BFP at 9DPO so in my head it's like, if it's not there on 9DPO then I'm not KU.  But the wait from now to 9DPO seems to last forever.  I can't focus on anything.  All I do is procrastinate work and play the symptom spotting game.  IS IT THE WEEKEND YET?
  • @RiverSong15 yes the milestones are hard, and I can't seem to get over the fact that it's been a year. It's just hitting me hard and all the "Baby's First Christmas" has been a bit triggering.

    @migdala @tscalei @Taggarab I can't stand the confusing signs our body gives us. I also at 5DPO was experiencing some hard cramps and was thinking maybe this means something and of course I had a bit of a cold and thought maybe that means something too. Like @migdala mentioned, between 5-9 DPO is rough. I was considering buying Wondfos to start testing as I have a holiday party this weekend but maybe that would add to the BSC. 

    @MooFish2364 @soontobemamahowe, @laberge3 Good luck at your RE visits. I hope you all are able to come up with a plan of action. 



     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • stephann85stephann85 member
    edited December 2016
    I'm no longer in the TWW but I can also be added to the list of December '15 conceptions. this month was harder on me than I thought it would be. When I started this journey (I'm sure like most/all of you) I never thought this could happen to me. I never thought that I would be a full year out with really nothing to show for it (except some medical bills, those are a wonderful reminder :| ). I was definitely blissfully unaware and thought it would be all sunshine and rainbows. Man was I wrong. But you ladies have been wonderful over this past year and I'm not sure I would be doing as well as I am mentally without you, so thank you.

    Edit because I missed some words (like a whole sentence). Apparently saying it your head doesn't mean it magically gets typed.
    *** TW ***
    Me 31, DH 30
    Married: 07/2014, TTC since 12/2015
    BFP #1: 1/1/16, MC 1/14/16 (6 weeks), D&C 2/5/16 (9 weeks)
    BFP #2: 5/25/16, MC 6/23/16 (8 weeks), D&C 6/24/16, 2nd D&C for retained tissue and fibroid removal 9/1/16
    BFP #3: 12/24/16  EDD 09/04/2017
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @stephann85 hugs to you. I get it 100% This month was harder than expected for me too. I too was hoping for something, this last year. 4 IUIs post loss, a hysteroscopy and a battery of tests that just tell us we are unexplained. It sucks big time. I'm 10 DPO and feeling all the symptoms now. Sore boobs, achy uterus- come on, can it really be?? I'm not getting my hopes up as I've been down this path. This isn't my first rodeo. 
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • @roxgibbons I get what you mean about not getting your hopes up. I was hoping that I would be pregnant again before my EDD, which has since passed. My post loss testing hasn't showed anything 'wrong', although there's family history of recurring mc (thanks for telling me after the fact, mom). Now I'm just being about as hands off as I can with the whole process.

    I realize I'm very lucky to be able to do this and probably stand a chance of getting pg again, but part of me feels guilty for wanting to step back from TTC madness. Of course I want a baby, but I'm just scared of being pg again. 
  • Well it's that time again. I'm about 6-8 dpo based on suspected ovulation cramps I had & had cramping this morning. I won't get my hopes up but since I had seriously vivid dreams last night I'm suspecting. Not going to get my hopes up...not going to get my hopes up...

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • Hugs to everyone hitting their year conception milestone. 

    i can't wait for 2016 to be over. John Oliver did a bit on how crummy 2016 has been. If you need a smile it was worth watching. 

    Im 5 DPO now. I think the BSC is already setting in. At least I have the holidays to keep me occupied. 
    **TW** Loss mentioned
    Me:35 DH:35
    Married 9/2013
    BFP#1 1/28/2014 DS born 10/21/2014
    BFP#2 7/4/2016 , MC at 7w5d on 7/27
    BFP#3 1/5/2017
  • Hug to all you ladies. 
  • @roxygibbons  Hoorrayy  Big congrats!!
    ***TW***
    Me: 36  DH:35
    Married: 7/10/2016
    TTC#1 - May 2016
    BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016  
    BFP 5/5/2017  - CP
    IVF #1 - June 2017  - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo.  7/9 Beta #1 - 161 
    <3 Adam <3 Born on 3/18/18




     
  • @roxgibbons  Congrats!! Fx for darkening lines! 
    Me: 35     DH: 37
    BFP: 1.6.16 | MC: 2.17.16
    BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
    BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
    BFP:  1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17 <3
    BFP:  9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19 <3
    BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
    BFP: 11.11.21 | EDD 7.24.22 

     

  • @roxgibbons Oh my God, Congratulations! I am so happy for you. FX for darkening lines and awesome betas! Keep us updated.
    *** TW ***
    Me 31, DH 30
    Married: 07/2014, TTC since 12/2015
    BFP #1: 1/1/16, MC 1/14/16 (6 weeks), D&C 2/5/16 (9 weeks)
    BFP #2: 5/25/16, MC 6/23/16 (8 weeks), D&C 6/24/16, 2nd D&C for retained tissue and fibroid removal 9/1/16
    BFP #3: 12/24/16  EDD 09/04/2017
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • RiverSong15RiverSong15 member
    edited December 2016

    OMG!!!!! So excited for you @roxgibbons!!!!!!!!! FX that this is your much deserved rainbow baby! 
  • ***lurking/siggy warning***

    @roxgibbons I am SO STINKING EXCITED for you! I'm always rooting so hard for everyone here, but it warms my heart especially to see you get a BFP after all you've been through with the medicated cycles and IUI's. I so hope this is your take-home rainbow baby!  <3
  • @roxgibbons yay! Congrats to you!  FX for good betas!
  • *Lurking* I am so happy for you @roxgibbons!!
  • @roxgibbons omg congrats!!! that's amazing news <3
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • @roxgibbons. That's awesome news!! Congrats!!
  • @roxgibbons I am so excited for you I literally have no words! I hope you have the most uneventful 9 months ever!
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • @roxgibbons yay!! Congrats! Fx for a darker line tomorrow :smile:
    Me 29, DH 32
    Married: 03/2014
    BFP: 08/20/16, Blighted ovum 9/26/16 (8 weeks 4 days), D&C 9/28/16 (8 weeks 6 days)
    BFP: 12/16/16  => DD born 08/27/2017
  • @roxgibbons yay!!!! So happy for you. Hoping for a darker line tomorrow!
    **TW** Loss mentioned
    Me:35 DH:35
    Married 9/2013
    BFP#1 1/28/2014 DS born 10/21/2014
    BFP#2 7/4/2016 , MC at 7w5d on 7/27
    BFP#3 1/5/2017
  • @roxgibbons Congrats!!!! What wonderful news! So excited for you!
  • BFN at 10 DPO this morning. Really hoping it's just too early  :/
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • @roxgibbons Yay!!! That totally made my Monday morning better. Can't wait for your update!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Ahhhhh @roxgibbons congratulations to you!!!!!! So exciting!!! <3

    So sorry for the BFN @Taggarab. FX its early!
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • ***update***

    I wish I had better news- my line is gone, not even a hint. I set the positive one from yesterday next to it and there is literally nothing. I think I'm experiencing a chemical. I am so bummed out. We were so happy last night to finally get a positive and just like that it's gone- I just don't get it anymore. Of course now I'm blaming myself eventhough I know I shouldn't. Is it the workout I did? Is it the glass of wine I drank a couple days ago- I know this is irrational but I just can't help it. I'm considering calling my dr office to do a blood draw- just to confirm it and see what the HCG is at. I guess what I'm having a hard time with it took 11 months to finally conceive again 9 months post loss and then this? It all seems so cruel. 
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • @roxgibbons Oh no, I'm so sorry!  I completely understand feeling like blaming yourself, but you did nothing to cause it.  I would call your doctor's office for that blood work.  Again, so sorry.  Hugs to you. 
    Me: 35     DH: 37
    BFP: 1.6.16 | MC: 2.17.16
    BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
    BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
    BFP:  1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17 <3
    BFP:  9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19 <3
    BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
    BFP: 11.11.21 | EDD 7.24.22 

     

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