Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: NIPT (Noninvasive Prenatal Testing)
@semicolon I wouldn't say I feel 110% better, but it definitely helps my PGAL brain to know she's okay with everything they test for.
@semicolon I may have said this to you before- sorry to repeat it if I have... I'm so sorry about the loss of your baby. You've got to be an incredibly strong woman to be willing to go through this again. (Please don't take that the wrong way- my PGAL brain almost had me unwilling to try again and we had only made it to 8wks with the last pregnancy). FX that you get to take home your baby and the blood panel comes back positive!
I should have my results back any day now- damn holiday delayed them
Talked to my OB yesterday and we scheduled the NT scan and Harmony test for 21 December. He likes to do both because the NT scan also gives him insight into anatomical issues. I'm guessing I won't have the blood work until after the new year.
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
Natura (lab that does Panorama) also has an online portal where I think you could get results sooner, but be sure you get the card with your patient # from the tech who does your blood draw. I didn't realize this and was annoyed I didn't have it and couldn't get my results sooner.
I did it at exactly 10 weeks and the fetal DNA percentage in my blood was 4.8%. the data online says that if that percentage is below 3.5 the results are inconclusive. I'd wait for 10 weeks personally, so you don't wind up needing to do it again.
Edit: mobile autocorrect is out of control
I had my blood draw on Friday - did the MaterniT21 genome test (which may have some other name) which checks for microdeletions in a few key spots along with the standard trisomies; we're people who want ALL of the information. I also had my NT scan (which looked good). Now just the somewhat painful wait for results...
BFP #1 6/13 DD 3/14
Mirena 10/14-5/16
BFP #2 9/2/16, CP confirmed 9/8/16
BFP #3 10/10/16 EDD 6/22/17
DS #1 born 05/25/2012
BFP#2: 06/12/2013 ---- loss
DS #2 born 4/08/2014
BPF#4: 2/1/2016 --- 2/23/2016 suspected molar pregnancy--- 3/15/2016 D&E - diagnosis MM
BFP#5 - 9/22/2016
* formally bornmommy
@riverraine no benefit. The NIPT covers more defects and is more accurate than the first trimester screening. So if you do NIPT, skip the first trimester screening. Most people do the first trimester screening and if it pings high risk, then do the NIPT.
@graceriesz Most people do the first trimester screening and if it pings high risk, then do the NIPT. first trimester screen is very limited, no sex.
@WorkingOnMyNightCheese nightcheese? lol i missed something
@NYCProf thats the one my doc just ordered for me yesterday.
@Wearmi1 sorry for the bad news. I know you feel. :-( I'm sure you've talked to your doc and googled extensively, but Turner's is pretty mild relative to some other things if that helps at all...
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: July 2009
BFP: November 2012 after 2 years of TTC DS born August 2013
Diagnosed with PCOS April 2016
3 months of trigger shot with timed intercourse BFN x3
First IUI: 9/17/16 BFP: 9/30/16 EDD: 6/11/17
I had horrible horrible horrible night mares last night about hte results of the NIPT. :-( I am so stressed out about this whole thing. I know stressing doesn't help! Believe me! I am just naturally a high strung worry wort and I literally can't help it. During the day I'm ok, thinking about other things, but, literally back to back to back night mares all night last night. :-( Now i'm a wreck. And i doubt the results will be in today, so i'm dreading night mares all weekend now too!!!! :-( ARGH! I just want this whole situation to be over. what a nightmare.
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: July 2009
BFP: November 2012 after 2 years of TTC DS born August 2013
Diagnosed with PCOS April 2016
3 months of trigger shot with timed intercourse BFN x3
First IUI: 9/17/16 BFP: 9/30/16 EDD: 6/11/17