@dmontgo he is beautiful❤️ Congrats to you and your H!
Sometimes our birthing stories don't go the way we've written them in our heads, but this story will always be unique to you and sweet Ashton.
Just know that in the days, weeks and maybe even months to come of processing your specific story, there's an entire village here ready to listen to and support you completely.
Im so happy for you and your little family and will continue sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!
@dmontgo you created a human being! That's pretty damn amazing. You are not alone in the scary birth experiences, my 1st was insane and DD and I almost didn't make it. It's awful, traumatic, and a whole list of negative stuff. It took me a long time to get over it, and to even admit that I needed to. BUT! For every negative, there are at least 3 positives! First of all, Ashton is adorable, and I bet it feels like pure heaven to hold him, touch him, even just gaze at his little face. Each little movement and sound he makes is special, and it's all thanks to your hard work that he made it into this world. You done good. Seriously, making life is no joke, and you get to start your new chapter with this amazing new life to nourish. It's going to be the best, a little crazy, but the best and most memorable part of life.
@dmontgo - everything and anything you're feeling is exactly right and as much and as often or as little as you want to express it, you have a D16 full of warm hearts ready to listen
@dmontgo I too had a traumatic birth with dS1. I would be lying to say if it still doesn't sting every now and then. I wish I had taken time to write it down so I could remember all the details (that I actually could remember) because now that he's two the holes are even bigger in my memory. I am sending you healing thoughts and love!
Yes, totally agree with @Gizmo1231 ... take the time to record your birth story. I blogged mine at some point after we were home from the hospital and, even though it was a hard experience to process, I'm so grateful that I have those memories written somewhere and i know some day DD1 will appreciate reading her story.
It can can also be really helpful for the healing process.
Hope you and little A are doing well and getting lots of rest ❤️
Thoughts and prayers to you @dmontgo! You're such an inspiring & kind soul thank you for sharing! I hope and pray that recovery goes well for you and your family and that you get settled into your new home comfortably. Baby snuggles are all yours with your precious little boy! So glad that you and him both came out on the other side alive and well.
Thank you all, and I am deeply sorry to the ones that had scary birth experiences as well. It seems more common than we'd like to think, and I do not say as that as discouragement to other FTMs! There's just a lot I did not know (I mean, how could I?) about how giving birth and recovery and the emotional investment truly works. A steep learning curve!
I have had a chance to speak with a NICU social worker, DH, and some others about my experience and it has helped SO MUCH. I'm slowly writing out the story to share, but anyone that has had a less than stellar birth experience, reach out!! Hearing that my feelings are valid and others have experienced similar situations and it's NOT MY FAULT have really put me on the path to healing. It's also been nice that others are asking about my recovery and emotions too--helps me feel like more than just a vagina! The social worker said, "Mommas are just as important as the babies and their health matters!"
@dmontgo I'm really glad you've been able to process it a bit and feel better, I'm sure there's plenty of work to do but knowing you have found support and validation is so good to hear. You put out positivity and support so many others, it's definitely your turn to be nurtured while you start this new journey.
I love it that the social worker said that to you. How we birth matters (not vag vs. csection) but how we are treated and how we feel about birth matters deeply. I get so sickened when people say "as long as you have a baby it doesn't matter how" or some such phrase... it does matter how. How you feel cared for matters. How you feel listened to matters. How you heal matters. It might not be the planned method of birth or ideal circumstances, but how you are treated and how doctors and staff care for you matters deeply! Ok... off my soap box... but I love that they validated that and also that you are processing.
Re: DMontgo Labor Thread
Sometimes our birthing stories don't go the way we've written them in our heads, but this story will always be unique to you and sweet Ashton.
Just know that in the days, weeks and maybe even months to come of processing your specific story, there's an entire village here ready to listen to and support you completely.
Im so happy for you and your little family and will continue sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!
BUT! For every negative, there are at least 3 positives! First of all, Ashton is adorable, and I bet it feels like pure heaven to hold him, touch him, even just gaze at his little face. Each little movement and sound he makes is special, and it's all thanks to your hard work that he made it into this world. You done good. Seriously, making life is no joke, and you get to start your new chapter with this amazing new life to nourish. It's going to be the best, a little crazy, but the best and most memorable part of life.
It can can also be really helpful for the healing process.
Hope you and little A are doing well and getting lots of rest ❤️
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
I have had a chance to speak with a NICU social worker, DH, and some others about my experience and it has helped SO MUCH. I'm slowly writing out the story to share, but anyone that has had a less than stellar birth experience, reach out!! Hearing that my feelings are valid and others have experienced similar situations and it's NOT MY FAULT have really put me on the path to healing. It's also been nice that others are asking about my recovery and emotions too--helps me feel like more than just a vagina! The social worker said, "Mommas are just as important as the babies and their health matters!"
How we birth matters (not vag vs. csection) but how we are treated and how we feel about birth matters deeply. I get so sickened when people say "as long as you have a baby it doesn't matter how" or some such phrase... it does matter how. How you feel cared for matters. How you feel listened to matters. How you heal matters. It might not be the planned method of birth or ideal circumstances, but how you are treated and how doctors and staff care for you matters deeply!
Ok... off my soap box... but I love that they validated that and also that you are processing.
Due December 27th with baby #7