Oh man, some friends you've got. I know this must be hard but you have every right to be mad and done with them. That is absolutely no way to treat a friend ESPECIALLY when they are going through such difficult times. It's selfish and disrespectful to expect of someone to hurry up with dealing with their grief so they can get on with what they think is right. I've had "friends" like that and I have decided that I don't have time for that kind of drama. I have a few amazing people I call friends who never give me grief about anything. We all have the mutual understanding that Yes, we are friends, yes we love each other, yes we are there for each other BUT we also know that priorities change once one has kids and things can't always be planned or work out. We simply know not to have specific expectations. That's also IMO what it means to be a good friend. To accept and support when one friend can't be there, but that you can be there for them exactly for that reason. If that makes any sense.
I'm really sorry you have to deal with that. It's just not right
@HGRich Have you heard the quote..."There are three types of friends. Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime". I think you did everything exactly as you needed and in a totally appropriate selfish way. If these "friends" can't see past that, then that season is over.