I finally have an unpopular opinion (which I kind of can't believe it's unpopular, but according to FB it is) and if I wait until next Thursday I'll forget.
Having a dog doesn't make you parent. I get loving a dog or calling yourself your dog's mom jokingly, but if you legitally think its on the same level as being a parent to a kid, then you clearly don't have kids. If said person one day does have kids, then I think they would realize how silly it is to compare the two. Ive done both. Being a "dog parent" and a "kid parent" is wwwaaayy different.
I finally have an unpopular opinion (which I kind of can't believe it's unpopular, but according to FB it is) and if I wait until next Thursday I'll forget.
Having a dog doesn't make you parent. I get loving a dog or calling yourself your dog's mom jokingly, but if you legitally think its on the same level as being a parent to a kid, then you clearly don't have kids. If said person one day does have kids, then I think they would realize how silly it is to compare the two. Ive done both. Being a "dog parent" and a "kid parent" is wwwaaayy different.
So much this. Preach, when my newborn was literally up every 1.5 hours day and night breastfeeding I told someone how tired I was and they were all "oh my gosh I know my dog kept waking me up last night with his itching so I feel you" I was like well I can't just put my kid outside or in another room and roll back over to sleep soooo..... yeah.
Yeah the word mama probably bothers me cause I'm 12 and too young to even be having children yet lol.
And @Aussie45 I'm gonna be a sensitive little asshole about this and feel free to flame or roll your eyes out of your head. I don't think training a dog is in any way comprable to raising a child at all but *tw loss* when I was having my miscarriages, I was diagnosed with a form of postpartum depression and after the second loss I was just left feeling kind of hopeless and ridden with panic attacks. My counselor said that without drugs, I'd just have to actually have a baby to truly cure myself and at that point I was struggling to get pregnant and then losing the babies I did conceive. My body and hormones were being equipped to nurture and then I didn't get that opportunity. So one night this little teensy injured puppy who'd never been taken care of in her entire life runs out in front of my car and I just immediately get out of my car to pick her up. She was abandoned there and so I took her in and she was exactly what I needed. That dog did more for me than any antidepressant and she attached to me instantly. She'd sleep on my chest and she was so sweet and incredibly therapeutic for me. And even though she's a big asshole sometimes, in a way, we healed each other. And I know it sounds cheesy and lame asf but I needed that dog more than I knew. So I'll always be that really annoying dog parent that everyone hates. And I'm okay with that. Lol have an AW photo for reference because puppies are cute
Yeah the word mama probably bothers me cause I'm 12 and too young to even be having children yet lol.
And @Aussie45 I'm gonna be a sensitive little asshole about this and feel free to flame or roll your eyes out of your head. I don't think training a dog is in any way comprable to raising a child at all but *tw loss* when I was having my miscarriages, I was diagnosed with a form of postpartum depression and after the second loss I was just left feeling kind of hopeless and ridden with panic attacks. My counselor said that without drugs, I'd just have to actually have a baby to truly cure myself and at that point I was struggling to get pregnant and then losing the babies I did conceive. My body and hormones were being equipped to nurture and then I didn't get that opportunity. So one night this little teensy injured puppy who'd never been taken care of in her entire life runs out in front of my car and I just immediately get out of my car to pick her up. She was abandoned there and so I took her in and she was exactly what I needed. That dog did more for me than any antidepressant and she attached to me instantly. She'd sleep on my chest and she was so sweet and incredibly therapeutic for me. And even those she's a big asshole sometimes, in a way, we healed each other. And I know it sounds cheesy and lame asf but I needed that dog more than I knew. So I'll always be that really annoying dog parent that everyone hates. And I'm okay with that. Lol have an AW photo for reference because puppies are cute
I can relate to your story on so many levels! I got my puppy after my second miscarriage and he has done more for us than he is able to understand. Your puppy is adorable @LivingLaVidaGinger !
I call myself my dog's mom. I don't mean it in a joking way, but I also don't think he's equivalent to a human child. From his perspective, though, we really are like parents. He depends on us for everything, he's part of the family, and we take that responsibility seriously. I think that when most people say "pet parent" that's all they really mean.
@LivingLaVidaGinger Your pup isnso sweet! Animals can save our lives. Im so glad you found your furbaby :-)
I'm with @Xstatic3333. I call myself my dog's mom. I know he is nothing like a human baby. I can't put my baby in the bathroom everyday when I go to work. But he's my furbaby and part of our family.
That being said, I'd never compare caring for him to caring for an infant or child, there is no comparison. Literally none.
I call myself my dog's mom. I don't mean it in a joking way, but I also don't think he's equivalent to a human child. From his perspective, though, we really are like parents. He depends on us for everything, he's part of the family, and we take that responsibility seriously. I think that when most people say "pet parent" that's all they really mean.
I would say that yes most people do just mean they have fur babies (I have one!) and they are the parents to said fur babies. But I think we were mostly discussing those people who try to relate to having a child as being the same or of equal difficulties to having a dog and it just isn't. I'll even venture out to say that I was borderline one of those people who took their dog everywhere, dressed them up for Halloween (Snow White), etc. then when I had my son it was like a light went off! I suddenly had something in my life I couldn't just leave a light on for and be away from the house for 8 hours or more. There are so many other things that come into play that having a dog is a bajillion times easier than having a child and to compare the two is quite insulting
I am with @Aussie45 on this one. I have seen pet owners get into heated arguments over how having a pet is just as much work/ responsibility/ etc as a human child, and I'm like NOPE. Dont get me wrong, I refer to myself as my dogs Momma, and he was my fur child before I had a human child, my company while my H was in AFG and is still my peace of mind when H is out of town. But it's not the same, and I think that is what @Aussie45 is referring to.
That makes sense @Aussie45 and @Spicyweiner. I haven't run into people doing that a ton in my own life but if I did I'm sure I'd feel similarly.
I am am already noticing that attempts at empathy really get old fast. I can't remember if I mentioned this before here, but H tries to empathize with every little pregnancy symptom. If I'm tired, he's tired too. If my stomach is off, so is his (usually from beer). When I complained about having a hard time reaching to tie my shoes the other day, he legitimately tried to compare it to how he felt when he gained a little weight last summer. It drives me bonkers.
@LivingLaVidaGinger I think that dogs can be incredibly therapeutic and I'm glad you found a little pup that helped you. It's nice to see that after you had so much heartache that your pup was able to help you. I honestly feel like our dogs are part of our family and I love them to pieces. I just don't feel it's the same as being a kid parent which is what my friend was trying to convince me. My dogs don't wake me up in the middle of the night multiple times and I can leave them home when we go out. There is responsibility and love there, of course, it's just on a completely different level for your kids. I get pups being part of the family though and people saying their parents to their dogs in a joking way. It's people that actually believe that dog parenting is just slightly less harder than kid parenting that make me roll my eyes. My friend is gonna be in for a rude awakening if she has kids.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
@Xstatic3333 my husband pulled some shit about "sympathy weight" and I told him unless he pushes a child through his penis he doesn't get "sympathy" anything. Well, DD was in the backseat and I bet you can guess what her new favorite word is...
@Aussie45 oh absolutely! I'd never try to compete with an actual parent and it's definitely disrespectful for your friend to be so inconsiderate. I'm sure my feelings will change will LO gets here, I won't want my dog anywhere near the baby I'm sure. Lol but I can't even begin to imagine how much harder child-rearing is than dog-rearing!
I love stories about dogs picking their owners. Our dog showed up, a scrawny and scraggly puppy, the weekend we moved into our house. Hes been with us ever since. Watching DD interact with him is so cute, when she's being nice. She can be kind of an asshole to him and I'm constantly on her to be nicer. He's so tolerant and patient though, he's really a great dog.
All this dog talk makes me want one so freaking bad! I really want either a -corgi -Shiba iinu But then I also want a husky and a golden retriever. I need a dog in my life so bad.
@AfKash I have 3 dogs, a German Shepherd, a Great Dane mix and a Shiba. The Shiba is the best dog I've ever owned. The sweetest thing and just wants nothing more than to make us happy. I would definitely recommend a Shiba!
Ok guys, but imagine loving dogs and animals in general and being a 1000% allergic. It's so depressing and I just wanna snuggle alllll of them. Honestly, people who dislike animals should be the ones allergic to them. I've always been so resentful of my situation and I always wanted a dog growing up.
During pregnancy, I can't go over to anyone's house who owns a dog because I'll basically die. I can't take any antihistamines so...
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
I definitely considered myself a dog parent insofar as I was responsible for caring for my pup and loved her to bits. But maybe that's because I bristled against being her "owner" hah. She was a rescue pup and had many issues. She couldn't be left alone so we took her to daycare during the workday; if we wanted to go out we had to find a dog sitter. She went through a phase of wetting the bed. She had colds and upset stomach. And even though we referred to her as a weird toddler, I would never seriously compare the experience to being a parent to a human(especially since I don't have children). I loved my dog so much ( ) but ultimately she was a dog and she depended on us for care.
For this baby, we not only have to keep them alive when they cannot fend for themselves, but we have to help them grow into good humans who will become independent, contributing members of society.
I'm also on the furbaby train (I swaddled him yesterday after we watched the happiest baby on the block. He liked it, the weirdo.), but it us definitely not the same as children.
I do know an older couple at our church though that never had children, and she legitimately talks about her dogs as equals to other people's children. Like, at baby showers she talks about her dogs when people bring up their kid experiences to the new mom. I always assumed it was her only way to relate and feel part of something that most other people have experienced at their age.
@Aussie45 Wow! That is insensitive of your friend. Having a dog is nothing like raising a child. I love my dog but his insurance costs $50/ month and he gets put in the bathroom when we're at work. Potty training sucked but it is nothing like potty training a kid. Keeping an infant alive is way harder.
@Spicyweiner LOL! Omg I love that line. Sympathy pains are BS.
I definitely agree with everyone that being a dog mom is not the same as having an actual child. I think having a dog is a great "stepping stone" for people who have no kids to begin to understand responsibility but it's definitely not the same.
@Gretchypoo I just dropped it with her. Clearly that's just the way she feels and I don't care to fight her on it. I just rolled my eyes a bit and moved on lol.
Also, add me to the wanting another dog train. And we already have two! DH and I decided to hold off because we don't want more than two at once, but we're pretty sure our next dog is gonna be a German shepherd. I would also be good with a leonberger, tamaskan husky, Siberian husky, or a Great Dane.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
@AfKash Yes! They are super soft. If you are on Instagram a great page to follow is the_shiba_mogu. It's just videos of a Shiba and a baby in Japan! It's so adorable and I get my baby and dog fix all in one!
@Aussie45 I actually texted my husband about this this morning! Someone in my neighborhood is looking to re-home their Rottweiler and Bulldog. Two dogs that are on our list to own one day. We already have three, so 5 dogs and a newborn would be insane! I'm a crazy dog lady so I'd probably do it if my husband wouldn't kick my ass out! Good thing he keeps me grounded!
I'm in no way ready for another dog right now, mine is still in the very young training process. And she still thinks she's a tiny puppy. But once we do get another dog, I think we'll rescue another pitbull. They're so unpopular, but by far some of the sweetest big babies ever. And of course proper training is a must for all dogs, but especially the ones considered "dangerous" and "aggressive by nature" to put not only my mind at ease, but the minds of others around me at ease too. From what I've seen though, my mom's chihuahuas have this neurotic little dog complex and are much more aggressive than my pit who has never once bitten a soul. lol
@LivingLaVidaGinger Im team Pit Bull too. I've had them all my life and they are the sweetest dogs! I've also owned a chihuahua as the shelter were full of chichuahuas and pit bulls. My chihuahua was by far the most aggressive little thing I've had! And she was neurotic a sister hell! Stil loved her to pieces though.
We were just starting our search for a new puppy when I got my BFP. We decided to wait until after the baby is here to resume our search. I've had a dog almost my entire life, I miss having on around.
I love my pets with all my heart, but I would never compare raising a puppy to raising a child. They are not the same, plain and simple.
That said, this isn't really an opinion I'd spend a lot of time expressing in public, because I think it has the potential to hurt. I know that for some people who can't have children (for whatever reason), having pets is the closest they'll get to experiencing parenthood, and I have no reason to say something that basically amounts to, "too bad you'll never be a real parent." @Aussie45, I know this is not the situation you were referring to (and I think your friend is being a total nutballer), but I think maybe that's why this subject becomes so wildly sensitive, and why something that seems so obvious (dog does not = child) ends up seeming like a UO in a venue like Facebook.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
@MoonOverGoldsboro I think that's definitely a good point. And while I don't think it equates to the same thing, Id hate to say something to that effect and hurt someone's feelings. Whether or not that's the case, it's really not that big of a deal to me so I'll just shake my head and move on.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
I should do one post of what my autocorrect is and a decryption a paragraph down. I don't know what the hell is up with my autocorrect but it has gotten horrible. I'm almost correcting every word. And some of the autocorrects I have NO clue how my phone connects the word I typed out to what it thinks I meant...
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
I should do one post of what my autocorrect is and a decryption a paragraph down. I don't know what the hell is up with my autocorrect but it has gotten horrible. I'm almost correcting every word. And some of the autocorrects I have NO clue how my phone connects the word I typed out to what it thinks I meant...
I thought the exact same thing. My autocorrect on the Bump is in overdrive.
For instance, I'll repeat what I wrote above:
I thigh they exact same thing. 'Y autocorrects on THe Bunp I said in overdrive.
Oh my God!! when I went back to add the email address, sstupid thing erased my original message!!! I'm so sick of this!
Basically what I said was. ... @foxrosy I've been having the same problems for the past two weeks. I emailed support and they are investigating the issue. they told me that they had not received complaints from anyone else about this problem. so I really encourage you guys to contact them and let them know you're having the same problem, too. hopefully that way, they will fix the bug faster.
@MoonOverGoldsboro I agree! I want to roll my eyes when people equate their love for and responsibility to their pets with having children. But I have to remember that their love for their pet doesn't do anything to diminish my love for my child. Love is love and I think they're entitled to feel theirs without being resented by real human parents. I don't want to hurt anybody or try to diminish their very real love and devotion. So I roll my eyes mentally instead of physically.
Though when my husband refers to our dogs as my son's "brother and sister" I want to throttle his face off. He gets the full glare and eye roll. So I guess it's just the people I'm not married to who get a pass, lol.
Re: UO 11/3
And @Aussie45 I'm gonna be a sensitive little asshole about this and feel free to flame or roll your eyes out of your head. I don't think training a dog is in any way comprable to raising a child at all but *tw loss* when I was having my miscarriages, I was diagnosed with a form of postpartum depression and after the second loss I was just left feeling kind of hopeless and ridden with panic attacks. My counselor said that without drugs, I'd just have to actually have a baby to truly cure myself and at that point I was struggling to get pregnant and then losing the babies I did conceive. My body and hormones were being equipped to nurture and then I didn't get that opportunity. So one night this little teensy injured puppy who'd never been taken care of in her entire life runs out in front of my car and I just immediately get out of my car to pick her up. She was abandoned there and so I took her in and she was exactly what I needed. That dog did more for me than any antidepressant and she attached to me instantly. She'd sleep on my chest and she was so sweet and incredibly therapeutic for me. And even though she's a big asshole sometimes, in a way, we healed each other. And I know it sounds cheesy and lame asf but I needed that dog more than I knew. So I'll always be that really annoying dog parent that everyone hates. And I'm okay with that. Lol
have an AW photo for reference because puppies are cute
I'm with @Xstatic3333. I call myself my dog's mom. I know he is nothing like a human baby. I can't put my baby in the bathroom everyday when I go to work. But he's my furbaby and part of our family.
That being said, I'd never compare caring for him to caring for an infant or child, there is no comparison. Literally none.
I have seen pet owners get into heated arguments over how having a pet is just as much work/ responsibility/ etc as a human child, and I'm like NOPE.
Dont get me wrong, I refer to myself as my dogs Momma, and he was my fur child before I had a human child, my company while my H was in AFG and is still my peace of mind when H is out of town.
But it's not the same, and I think that is what @Aussie45 is referring to.
I am am already noticing that attempts at empathy really get old fast. I can't remember if I mentioned this before here, but H tries to empathize with every little pregnancy symptom. If I'm tired, he's tired too. If my stomach is off, so is his (usually from beer). When I complained about having a hard time reaching to tie my shoes the other day, he legitimately tried to compare it to how he felt when he gained a little weight last summer. It drives me bonkers.
Well, DD was in the backseat and I bet you can guess what her new favorite word is...
Our dog showed up, a scrawny and scraggly puppy, the weekend we moved into our house.
Hes been with us ever since.
Watching DD interact with him is so cute, when she's being nice. She can be kind of an asshole to him and I'm constantly on her to be nicer. He's so tolerant and patient though, he's really a great dog.
-corgi
-Shiba iinu
But then I also want a husky and a golden retriever. I need a dog in my life so bad.
During pregnancy, I can't go over to anyone's house who owns a dog because I'll basically die. I can't take any antihistamines so...
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
I've never met a Shiba. Is there fur as soft as it looks?
For this baby, we not only have to keep them alive when they cannot fend for themselves, but we have to help them grow into good humans who will become independent, contributing members of society.
I'm also on the furbaby train (I swaddled him yesterday after we watched the happiest baby on the block. He liked it, the weirdo.), but it us definitely not the same as children.
I do know an older couple at our church though that never had children, and she legitimately talks about her dogs as equals to other people's children. Like, at baby showers she talks about her dogs when people bring up their kid experiences to the new mom. I always assumed it was her only way to relate and feel part of something that most other people have experienced at their age.
@Spicyweiner LOL! Omg I love that line. Sympathy pains are BS.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Also, add me to the wanting another dog train. And we already have two! DH and I decided to hold off because we don't want more than two at once, but we're pretty sure our next dog is gonna be a German shepherd. I would also be good with a leonberger, tamaskan husky, Siberian husky, or a Great Dane.
@Aussie45 I actually texted my husband about this this morning! Someone in my neighborhood is looking to re-home their Rottweiler and Bulldog. Two dogs that are on our list to own one day. We already have three, so 5 dogs and a newborn would be insane! I'm a crazy dog lady so I'd probably do it if my husband wouldn't kick my ass out! Good thing he keeps me grounded!
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
That said, this isn't really an opinion I'd spend a lot of time expressing in public, because I think it has the potential to hurt. I know that for some people who can't have children (for whatever reason), having pets is the closest they'll get to experiencing parenthood, and I have no reason to say something that basically amounts to, "too bad you'll never be a real parent." @Aussie45, I know this is not the situation you were referring to (and I think your friend is being a total nutballer), but I think maybe that's why this subject becomes so wildly sensitive, and why something that seems so obvious (dog does not = child) ends up seeming like a UO in a venue like Facebook.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
For instance, I'll repeat what I wrote above:
I thigh they exact same thing. 'Y autocorrects on THe Bunp I said in overdrive.
ETA: Here's the email address of the person I've been dealing with appfeedback@xogrp.com
Basically what I said was. ...
@foxrosy I've been having the same problems for the past two weeks. I emailed support and they are investigating the issue. they told me that they had not received complaints from anyone else about this problem. so I really encourage you guys to contact them and let them know you're having the same problem, too. hopefully that way, they will fix the bug faster.
Though when my husband refers to our dogs as my son's "brother and sister" I want to throttle his face off. He gets the full glare and eye roll. So I guess it's just the people I'm not married to who get a pass, lol.