December 2016 Moms

FFFC 10/28

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DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


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Re: FFFC 10/28

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  • We're not going to my SILs Halloween party on Sunday. I'm not driving 45 minutes away to be in a house that's messy and makes me uncomfortable, and none of our friends are going because it's over an hour away for them. So we're going to a fall festival at a friend's church, which is also 45 minutes away. But at least it's about 15-20 minutes from my parents house. I feel so much more comfortable in that situation.
    Married 4/12/13
    Anniversary
    TTC since 6/13
    Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
    BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
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    SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
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  • @DiFazette - completely agree! DH and I clearance rack shop at marshalls/TJ Maxx, etc year round to keep the kids in nice clothes/shoes for cheap. We make DS brush his teeth, wash his face/hands and do his hair every day before we leave the house. I visited his class a few weeks back and was shocked at what kids were at school in! Dirty clothes, disheveled hair, etc. It definitely isn't a money thing, it is teaching your children to properly care for themselves! 


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  • dmontgodmontgo member
    edited October 2016
    @DiFazette A few weeks ago we were eating lunch and I saw this kid with clothes that were obviously too small for him. His tummy was poking out! I assumed that maybe the parents were poor or had fallen on hard times, until I heard the mom talking loudly about going on a girls' trip soon with her sister to California. This child seemed to be very aware that his clothes were small and embarrassed. I felt so bad for him.

    Children may be small and not understand the adult world, but I do think that children deserve respect and decency. Willingly dressing your child in dirty or small clothes, not grooming them... you're telling your child you don't respect ( or love) them enough to care for them. Then these parents have the gall to be surprised when their child doesn't want to listen, acts out, or has no respect for others or themselves. It's really sad. 

    ETA Obviously not including the trials of parenthood where sometimes these things happen-- talking about chronic lack of caring or neglect.
  • @DiFazette the only reason my niece would leave the house with messy hair was because she HATED brushing her hair, or having her hair brushed. Other than that she was well dressed (dirty clothes only because she decided playing in the dirt looked like fun) and washed up. Her parents keep her hair above shoulder length because, at 9, she still hates brushing her hair.
    Married 4/12/13
    Anniversary
    TTC since 6/13
    Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
    BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
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    SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
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  • @BabyRobbinsAdventure Here's my answer to that:

     I didn't say strangers on the street.  I said kids in DS' school... Not a public school, an expensive, private daycare.  Another classroom mom who is a SAHM and puts her child in preschool for socialization and pays $110/mo for her Pure Barre membership monthly does not get a free pass because 'maybe I don't know what they're dealing with.'  I don't think about it that deeply.  My point is that it takes 1 minute to wash a face, comb hair or brush teeth.  Choosing not to sends a message when you have the ability to do so.  I also know that these families are not struggling, because they are not strangers.  So to send your child to school in a short sleeve shirt two sizes too small and no jacket when it's 46 degrees outside gets judgement from me.  

    Your example of people going from shelter to shelter has no bearing on this situation.  This is not the population I am referring to. 
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  • On the kids look: L is not quite 15 months. He has started picking his own clothes every day. Which right now is limited to long sleeve onesies and sweats with either boots/tennies, but who knows what he will look like in 1+ year.

    He also has hair that will not stay down. I have hairsprayed, gelled, moused, and wet down that mop, but nothing does the job. So he looks like he never gets a hair do, but he brushes it himself multiple times a day.

    At this stage I find it cute, but as a school age child. . . Who knows.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


  • @DiFazette generally we only keep seasonally appropriate clothes available for dd... but here it's almost Halloween and it was 85 and sunny yesterday so most kids are still in shorts. and even Christmas dresses that she wears year round are sleeveless but we do give her a jacket if it's cooler than 60 in the morning. 

    However I don't trash stained shirts right away. fffc I actually sent her in a slightly stained one today because they are painting pumpkins and will get paint on clothes. but stained clothes are reserved for art at home or days we know they are painting at daycare.  

    And no, we don't have to agree.... i was just saying it's not always due to lack of trying or selfishness. 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • @DiFazette my best friend worked at a very nice (read: expensive!) daycare for years and she would tell me about the parents you've described also. It makes me very sad when a capable person repeatedly neglects the hygiene of their child. Key being repeated, once in a while kids are going to look like a hot mess, it happens haha 
  • l9il9i member
    @brittnic86 I so agree with you.  And of course me not caring opens up to "Well, you have to do x because that's best, blah, blah, blah".  It's like the think I'm just lazy and not informed.  No, I'm probably more informed because I've researched every option to be prepared on all fronts.
    Me: 26 & DH: 25
    Married: August 2014
    TTC since November 2015
    BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
    BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
  • @DiFazette my best friend worked at a very nice (read: expensive!) daycare for years and she would tell me about the parents you've described also. It makes me very sad when a capable person repeatedly neglects the hygiene of their child. Key being repeated, once in a while kids are going to look like a hot mess, it happens haha 
    @BabyRobbinsAdventure oh for sure it happens! Shit, it happens by the time I pick him up from school most days.  Snot on his face, dirt caked under his nails and marker on his shirt.  
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  • Moving away from the appearance theme, my FFFC: I don't know the difference between Billy Joel and Jon Bon Jovi. They're both older dudes that have songs that were played during happy hour in my college days. I could tell the difference in photos, but can't tell who sings which song. That really irks some people :)
  • sourlemonsourlemon member
    edited October 2016
    @brittnic86 I had no set plan for my first except to have both of us survive. I hoped for certain things but never wrote anything down except survive. so much is out of our control that I didn't feel like the stress of sticking to a plan or even knowing I had a plan was smart. I researched a ton and still felt that way.

     I still felt like a failure having a c section after 42 hours of labor but that was more about not being able to finish what I started rather than not sticking to my plan. i apologized to DH while getting sewn up. i felt like I let him down since he wasn't allowed into the OR it was such a dire situation . all he said for weeks was that he's glad we both survived because the nurse told him I died on the table. it took a while to get over the whole thing but at the end of the day, we both survived, and that was all that really matters. 

    My plan this time is for dh to be there when his kid is born. i know he still wishes he could have been there when dd1 was born so I really really really want him there this time. I'd also like to not puke on the table.... but that's out of my control! 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!




  • Just feeling Winnie the Pooh today. 
    Married: 6/6/14
    DS: 12/20/16
    EDD: 11/29/18
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  • @brittnic86 I was the same way with L. This time I'd prefer a VBaC so we feel safe having more later, while if we have another CS I'm calling it good and tying the tubes. Otherwise just five me a baby.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


  • @DiFazette a shame you weren't stronger? That's rude. People are so damn rude. lol.
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  • @DiFazette Yeah, I'd say surviving pre-eclampsia (that's what it was, right?) and a baby in the NICU makes you pretty darn strong as is.
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Together since 2003 | Married 2010
    TTC #1 January 2016
    BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
    Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

    TTC#2 March 2018
    BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
  • @KattyC as a huge Billy Joel fan, that hurts my soul
    Married 4/12/13
    Anniversary
    TTC since 6/13
    Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
    BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
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  • @PensiveCrayon yeah, pre-e, HELLP and IUGR.  I went through hell, and wasn't back to normal body function for years.  Such a failure.  
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  • Sorry @phoenix870509!! That's the last thing I want to do   ;)
  • My bp has been slowly creeping up and even if it doesn't turn to pre-e my dr will want to induce after 36 weeks if it is at a certain point.  My FFC is that if she wants to induce at 36 or 37 weeks I'd rather just go with the c-section.  I really don't want to go through 30+ hours of labor just to end up having a c-section.
  • FFFC - I mentioned this in the Random post, but my work is having a "Bring your Kid in to Trick or Treat in Costume" the rest of the afternoon today. Well, a girl who I have known forever walks by with her boy (who I think is 6-7 in age) and was like, "See, they do get this big eventually!". Um, OK? Thanks.
    Me: 37 years old
    DH: 39 years old
    Married: October 17, 2014
    TTC Since: November 2015
    BFP: March 31, 2016
    DS: November 21, 2016

    December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**





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  • @Kacie209 I thread jumping, but kids walking around/trick or treating is the prefect excuse to slack off in a Friday afternoon.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


  • Not having a plan is the smartest thing you can do. I'd rather just be happy my baby is born and not feel disappointed and guilty. I've been there and it ruined the moment. 

    Ugh I don't brush my DS's hair in the morning. He's 8 and capable of doing it himself and I get really tired of fighting with him. But I do set his clothes out and he's not dirty. I cut his hair and would prefer to keep it short enough it that didn't need to be brushed but he doesn't like that either. I have to choose my battles.  
  • @kate08young I have pretty much checked out for the day with everyone walking around. It's hard to concentrate.

    I am all for giving birth in whatever way is best for both me and my baby. I would love to do it vaginally (with meds), but if a c-section was necessary, that would be fine.

    Me: 37 years old
    DH: 39 years old
    Married: October 17, 2014
    TTC Since: November 2015
    BFP: March 31, 2016
    DS: November 21, 2016

    December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**





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  • l9il9i member
    @slartybartfast @KatieJo1205  I truly think if they wanted to induce I'd just go for the c section.  I've heard of far too many instances of induction, labor for a day+, then c section.  
    Me: 26 & DH: 25
    Married: August 2014
    TTC since November 2015
    BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
    BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
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