- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
May 2017 Moms
MollyandD
member
Birth Plan
MollyandD
member
I know it's too early to have everything down, and things don't always follow our plans, but in your imagination, what do you think would be the best birth for you?
I'm planning a home birth in a birthing pool attended by a midwife, my husband, and my mom. I know I can't plan the time of day, but I'd like the baby to be born at night, so I could have soft light and maybe some candles lit. I want to watch comedies while in labor to keep my mood positive, and then when it gets intense I want to switch to just listening to calming music. Again, I know that things don't go as planned more often than not. This is just for fun.
TW- Loss mentioned
I started a thread like this on my old BMB before my loss, but when I was due in March I wanted to have a fire going in my fireplace. Obviously, with a May baby, Oklahoma heat won't work well with a fire.
I'm planning a home birth in a birthing pool attended by a midwife, my husband, and my mom. I know I can't plan the time of day, but I'd like the baby to be born at night, so I could have soft light and maybe some candles lit. I want to watch comedies while in labor to keep my mood positive, and then when it gets intense I want to switch to just listening to calming music. Again, I know that things don't go as planned more often than not. This is just for fun.
TW- Loss mentioned
I started a thread like this on my old BMB before my loss, but when I was due in March I wanted to have a fire going in my fireplace. Obviously, with a May baby, Oklahoma heat won't work well with a fire.
Re: Birth Plan
So to sum up: birth plan = epidural
DD: 6
DS: 2
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
Anyway, so this time around, I plan to hire a doula who will be able to act as my voice this time around! That's basically it. I want to labor naturally and only want medical intervention if there is a risk to myself or the baby.
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
I plan to have a natural birth again and am hoping this birth is similar to my 2nd. I woke up at 2am to intense contractions, got to the hospital at 4am, delivered DS at 6am. That was the perfect amount of time and I hope the labor does not go any quicker than that, because I do not want to deliver the baby in my car! LOL.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
With my first, I labored at home for a few hours before going to the hospital with DD. My water broke on it's own and I had been consistently leaking all morning. When I got in, they had to test my fluid to confirm it was indeed amniotic fluid. It failed, TWICE! They were like well we believe you since you're clearly in pain from contraction but it's hospital policy blah blah. After a nurse shift change, my new nurse was pretty much like fuck it, lets get the girl an epidural (I had requested one and couldn't keep my eyes open during a contraction). Bless her heart, I won't ever forget her, she was amazing. They finally checked me AFTER the epidural got put in and realized I was already 6cm dilated.
I expect that my labor will be shorter this time, so I plan to go in sooner. My only request in addition to an epidural is that I get skin to skin time immediately.
Also I understand having an idea of what you (general you, not you specifically) want. I'm a planner and I like being in control. But both times my plan was along the lines of go with the flow and I think it really helped. Kind of weird to have to plan to go with the flow but it made it easier mentally knowing that for a set amount of time my plan would be no plan and that would be ok.
DD: 6
DS: 2
I'm getting daily injections, hospital, high risk OB.
Oh, well. At least if things go reasonably well I am likely to be able to ask for delayed cord clamping and immediate skin to skin.
I'm going to try really hard not to let them give me pitocin just to make things faster, although I won't refuse it if it will actually help/protect the baby. I'm just real afraid of tearing while on all the bloodthinners...
-full term baby! (Both of mine were late term preemies)
-make it to the hospital! (First labor was 4hrs, second was 1hr45min, got to the hospital less than 30min before baby. That shortening of labor trend better not continue or I'll have a by myself homebirth with toddlers assisting!)
I totally understand the want to make a plan, and to control as much as possible. As others have said, though, the goal is healthy baby and healthy mom! I think as long as you come into it with the idea that the birth plan is more "goals" than strict "plan," you'll actually be much more prepared, and calmer about it when things don't go exactly according to plan.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
I'm concerned about two things with the birth center:
1) Lack of security of hospital in case of emergency, though I think they are still pretty good with emergencies and literally across the street from the hospital.
2) They kick you out within 12 hours of having your baby. I really like being pampered for a couple of days at the hospital. But this practice is definitely the prenatal care that I want (and delivery care for that matter), so I'm going to stick with it.
Wildflowers and Ferns , have you talked to your doctor about the process of delivery on blood thinners? I'm not sure what you are on and why, but I am on Lovenox injections twice/day and was with my last pregnancy, too. They switched me to heparin at 35 weeks because it stays in your system for a shorter period of time and is less risky when delivering. They then totally pulled me off the blood thinners when I checked into the hospital for delivery and put me back on them after the baby was born. If you are feeling nervous about it, I would definitely talk to your doctor and understand what the plan is!
#1 DD Aug 2014 @39weeks via CS
#2 Due May 2,2017 hopeful VBAC
I don't really get a vote so I'm trying better to just roll with things this time. Ideally I would like to be treated more like a normal patient and have my doc discuss or explain things to me first instead of decisions just being presented to me as facts but that's more an issue with my husband than my doctor.
May '17 labor memes
We live very close to hospital. I hope to go into labor naturally and head to the hospital when I hit active labor. This all happened ratherly quickly with DS. I woke up around 3 am with consistent contractions. We arrived at hospital at 5:30 am, and I was already 7 cm and couldn't get a epidural fast enough. Baby came at 11:30 am.
I wouldn't really change anything. I want immediate skin to skin and no paci for baby. I also want DH to bring DS to the room to meet the baby first without our extended family present. I plan to limit hospital visitors. Those that insist on coming will have short visits. I'll ask my nurse to help with crowd control. I want to rest in the hospital as much as possible, which didn't happen with DS bc we had so many visitors.
2. Make it out of second trimester
3. Try to get to term
4. Live birth and alive me
kudos to to everyone who wants to do it a special way. I sincerely hope it all works out the way you want. In my personal experience at work it doesn't always work out that way so just try to be flexible. Sh!t hits the fan in young healthy parturients with healthy pregnancies all the time. For me, a hospital with a NICU and adult ICU is a must (as PP mentioned). Also in my anecdotal experience: the longer and more detailed the birth plan the more likely it is to go wrong
@slam1110 Mine is a similar timeline to yours: woke up at 2am with contractions, awoke hubbs at 4am, went to hospital at 6am... but that's where the similarity ends... delivered at 9 pm... long day! hopefully it's a shorter laboring this time (but of course, as long as everyone is healthy, that's all that matters!)
@Squirtgun LOL @ homebirth assistants = toddlers, too funny (here's hoping you make it there in time!)
@kat81 LOL @ "pampered at the hospital"---b/c I didn't get more than 3 hours of sleep at a stretch until I came home 3 days later... my exhaustion came not from the laboring but the after-party that was the CONTINUOUS stream of medical and support staff parading through our room. I mean, most of the time it was polite and I know they had a job to do but there were a few instances of 2 in the morning, opening the door loudly, throwing the lights on, time to check you guys out, so wake up! that's just crazy-pants! Looking back on it, I'm surprised I didn't complain loudly to anyone who'd listen... but then again: too. damn. tired. Coming home was a blessing in disguise, as nervous as we were about being on our own with a tiny little newborn. At home at least my naps weren't disturbed by anyone other than the one person who mattered.
For example, one simple request that we included for both kids was that my husband did not want to cut the umbilical cord and he was never offered or asked to cut it. We appreciated that they read our plan and did not put him on the spot when it was time to cut the cord.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
In all honesty, choices in pregnancy and L&D are important to consider. For most mamas (ie. low-risk), there is a wealth of flexibility in how to approach your care. Different providers have vastly different styles, with little (but increasing) evidence to back up their approach.
I totally agree with @Squirtgun - you may certainly have birth "preferences" or "goals" but a strict plan is something to reconsider. Knowing your options / rights is not to be underestimated, but you should still trust your provider (hopefully they are up to date on the latest recommendations).
My first birth involved all the interventions (except vacuum/forceps or cesarean), mostly because my labor was ridiculously long due to an asynclitic baby (totally askew in the birth canal). We did okay in the end, but it certainly left me exhausted, anxious, and not trusting of my body. I had a tough time bonding with my baby until she was close to 4 weeks old, and that was unexpected and jarring to me. Just a touch of postpartum anxiety/depression? Partially related to my birth experience? Who knows. I trusted my (crunchy) provider but it still left me with some scars. We *all* have the goal of a healthy mom and healthy baby - moms/dads and providers alike. Can we please agree to stop throwing that phrase around like ammunition? We can agree to disagree about what the "ideal" birth is, and how our births stack up to that vision. Just try to be gentle when putting down those who are upset about how their birth went - they could be total whack-jobs or they could be dealing with some serious postpartum mood issues.
I'd consider how you feel about the following questions - the rest (candles, music, etc) is really just icing on the cake (and not something that most nurses or providers will care *at all* about, no matter how crunchy or traditional they are):
Pain mgmt: Unmedicated birth? IV meds? (can take the edge off but don't last long) Epidural? (and timing? right away per hospital/facility protocol? wait as long as possible?)
Baby bath: Hospital or home (not required before you leave)
Baby meds: Ok with vitamin K (prevents bleeding in new babies who have immature livers and can't vitamin K-dependent clotting factors fast enough without it), antibiotic eye ointment (to prevent badness from gonorrhea), Hep B vaccine (please just vaccinate your babies - oh wait, a totally *different* controversial topic we can wait for)
In case of c-section: Who do you want with you in the OR?
Circumcision: Yes/No
Placenta: Keep? Toss? (just so your nurse/provider doesn't toss it prematurely - they clean things up as fast as possible after all the stitching is taken care of)
Some other things to think about:
[] If you want an unmedicated birth -- Consider asking nurse not to offer pain medication or epidural, and not ask you to rate your pain (you will definitely let them know if you change your mind, but having someone ask you all. the. time. whether you are in pain can get into your head)
[] IM (in your thigh muscle) pitocin - reduces your risk of postpartum hemorrhage (heavy blood loss) by 40% (this is a big deal - the WHO [World Health Organization] has recommended this as one of the biggest lifesavers of women after birth -- even homebirth midwives carry this)
[] Cord pulsing (standard in many hospitals) - leaving your baby's cord to pulse for at least 60 seconds will reduce the risk that your baby has anemia in the first year of life
[] Delay routine baby cares (standard in many hospitals) until after the first hour to facilitate bonding / first feed
[] Ask that your baby be given nothing but your breast - no pacifiers or bottles (unless you decide to do so)
[] Ask that your baby not be taken out of your presence - no nursery stays (unless you are having too much trouble resting - then please, by all means, get 2-3 hours of sleep)
[] Routines to be aware of: congential heart disease screen (pulse oximetry - not invasive), bilirubin level, hearing screen, newborn screen (for metabolic disorders)Shoot. Another science dump.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My first labor was 8 hours, and second was 4 hours. I can't imagine going any quicker but the trend seems to be that way! So priority is to the hospital and epidural right away!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
My biggest concern is actually about not having the epidural available. I was one of those people who actually had labor speed up once I got the epidural because I could finally relax. I worry that I'll have a worse experience this time if I can't get the epidural. But the birth center seems really wonderful and I like the more holistic approach of the midwives, but I don't know if I can do it.
The speed of that GIF is out of control
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------