Stuff my SO said

newyearsbaby5 · October 2016

Saw this on the December board and it made me laugh (read it if you want a good laugh!). We can list funny and/or somewhat insensitive things that our SOs said, not because they were trying to be mean or hurtful, but because sometimes they're so clueless about pregnancy.

To kick it off, I've been having so much trouble sleeping that H is really starting to feel bad and checks on me during the night. Last night when checking on me I heard him say a few words to the baby. Apparently he had been rubbing my Snoogle pillow for 10 minutes thinking that was my stomach. Really! You think my stomach is that big and soft! It's the thought that counts.

Kurtni · October 2016

Not my SO, but my brother telling everyone "it's a guy" instead of it's a boy, like his girlfriend was gonna give birth to a 25 year old dude. Cracks me up every time I think about it.

lmctan · October 2016

Had to go to the hospital because I got so sick I started having contractions I was scared and had been vomiting and diarrhea for hours no sleep all night and at the hospital he complained that his chair was so uncomfortable and he was so tired. I couldn't believe he said HE was tired. He had slept through me being sick for at least a few hours while I was sick every 10 minutes and hooked up to an IV

Teach123 · October 2016

He has the sniffles, which in man terms means he thinks he's going to die. He was in bed the other night, I was in there too because I had felt sick most of the day with morning sickness. It was time to give son a bath. I have trouble bending over in the tub now and lifting him in and out. He was like, I don't feel well. You can do it right? I said well I don't feel well either and haven't for months and help would be nice. He acted like it was the end of the world to help. Ugh. Men.

mudderbear · October 2016

He told me he was so uncomfortable from lack of frisky time....oh okay so I'll just try and bend in some
ridiculous way or have my belly squished from your 200 lbs crushing me just so you don't feel uncomfortable...get bent, I'm uncomfortable 24/7...deal with it

Smiley-1980 · October 2016

@Imctan. My H complained when I had my daughter that the reclining chair he slept on was too uncomfortable. I had just had a csection with major blood loss so I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days and he was there for 2 night then got to go home and sleep alone while I got hardly any sleep at all.

Smiley-1980 · October 2016

@mudderbear I would punch him in the nuts and ask him how comfortable he is now lol.

mudderbear · October 2016

Smiley-1980 said:

@mudderbear I would punch him in the nuts and ask him how comfortable he is now lol.

Haha that will definitely be used next time he pesters me...I do feel bad for him...like it's been a while...months even but I have not been wanting it at all and this tiny human is just making me feel like poo

Teach123 · October 2016

mudderbear said:

Smiley-1980 said:

@mudderbear I would punch him in the nuts and ask him how comfortable he is now lol.

Haha that will definitely be used next time he pesters me...I do feel bad for him...like it's been a while...months even but I have not been wanting it at all and this tiny human is just making me feel like poo

Um, yes to all of this. I can't think of anything I want to do less right now. I'm huge and uncomfortable and nauseous most of the time. That is the last thing on my mind.

karaelaine1991 · October 2016

After finishing our episode of Grey's for the night:

DH: Well, I guess you probably have to go to the bathroom so I'll let you go first and then I'll brush my teeth.
Me: you know me so well!
DH: Honestly, at this point, I just assume you always have to. You probably will as soon as you come back downstairs!

He's starting to catch on

christac1010 · October 2016

DH has taken to calling my Lansinoh Therapearl breast pads my "titty warmers." Mostly I laugh at him, but sometimes I get so frustrated with his jokes. Like my boobs hurt man. I'm developing milk for our baby. GTFOH with your humor.

TinaBelcher · October 2016

Teach123 said:

mudderbear said:

Smiley-1980 said:

@mudderbear I would punch him in the nuts and ask him how comfortable he is now lol.

Haha that will definitely be used next time he pesters me...I do feel bad for him...like it's been a while...months even but I have not been wanting it at all and this tiny human is just making me feel like poo

Um, yes to all of this. I can't think of anything I want to do less right now. I'm huge and uncomfortable and nauseous most of the time. That is the last thing on my mind.

+1! He keeps sneaking in remarks about sex and I'm like "bud, how well is this going? Have these snide comments worked yet? You really think they're gonna? Mmhmm..... goodnight."

I feel a little bad but not that much, he's a big boy and can take care of himself!

TinaBelcher · October 2016

The other day he remarked (after poking my belly and finding a soft spot for once instead of a BH rock) that I felt like Stay Puft and am I gonna have marshmallow babies??

Mind you it was right when he woke up and I know he meant consistency and not my size but I've had a lot of fun torturing him for essentially calling me a giant city crushing marshmallow man...

(Seriously he's not a dick calling me fat, just a little dense and a huge ghostbusters fan!)

nolemama24 · October 2016

While I am happy my fiancee found this newfound health kick and has kicked beer out of his diet, the other day he said he missed drinking beer................................ And I was like yeah, about that................... *eyeroll* It is such a crisp day in FL today, not one cloud in the sky, and all I want to do is crack open a nice cold Sam Adams Cold Snap.

TexasGal24 · October 2016

My DH saw how my tummy has really popped out there and said, "WOW! You're really starting to bulk up!"

..."bulk"....

He actually said that. Because pregnant women are soooo not conscious about there changing bodies: :P

I laugh at him and give him such a hard time for saying that but seriously, dude!? lol

cjs260 · October 2016

My husband has said numerous things that are ridiculous and laughable, but last night it was what he did. I was laying on the couch with my head on one couch arm and my legs in his lap. The baby was kicking so he was rubbing on my belly, when he decided to stick his finger in my stretched out, flattening belly button! Like WTH H?! He lost his belly privileges for the rest of the night.

expandcontract · October 2016

@cjs260 lol I'm sorry I'm laughing. But seriously, what exactly was he thinking? Lol.

colleenkevin · October 2016

We have a bean bag chair in the playroom and I had a hard time getting out of it last night. I said, "uh oh I think I've reached the point where I can't sit in this chair anymore, getting up was way too hard." He says, "What do you mean? You're not even THAT big yet - you're going to get WAY bigger in the next 12 weeks." Thanks, buddy. Because I needed a reminder that my large self is only going to get larger.

BAJDesigns · October 2016

@cjs260 My belly button is super sensitive right now so DH knows he might get slapped if he did that!

emy730 · October 2016

Not my H, but my grandma looked at me when I walked in and said, "Oh wow, I didn't think you'd be that big already!"

Gee, thanks Grandma!

ElleMF728 · October 2016

Not super pregnancy related but DH has always been a big teaser. One of the reasons I fell in love with him really, I am too so I like someone who can dish it out as well as take it. I don't fart in front of my husband...like ever. Everyday when DH comes home he spends some time with our 3 year old and he always asks him "Did Mama fart today?" DS1 who is clueless, always says "yes" now because it makes his daddy laugh so much.

The other day I was in the kitchen cooking with my mom and my sweet toddler comes up to us and says "Does mama fart?...YES!" and then starts laughing hysterically. Thanks husband for that.

hjmorgan-2 · October 2016

cjs260 said:

My husband has said numerous things that are ridiculous and laughable, but last night it was what he did. I was laying on the couch with my head on one couch arm and my legs in his lap. The baby was kicking so he was rubbing on my belly, when he decided to stick his finger in my stretched out, flattening belly button! Like WTH H?! He lost his belly privileges for the rest of the night.

@cjs260

Why???

cjs260 · October 2016

@AfKash @BAJDesigns @HJMorgan

So I asked H why earlier... here is the screen shot of the message.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/or/qscqv5p3l1hf.png

shlecks · October 2016

@cjs260 In other words...

KMck27 · October 2016

We are 3 pregnancies deep. With that being said, you would think my husband would know better then to say:

"You're big, pregnant big, like big.... (sees me getting pissed) ....I mean like you're not big, but your belly is big. You're pregnant." ...Back peddle, back peddle.

I had to leave the room, our children were present and he is lucky to be alive. Still love him.

expandcontract · October 2016

@cjs260 +1 to "angry button" !! I'm still laughing out loud.

ETA: Tonight, you should stick a finger up his butt and say that you thought it would be cute and funny. Kidding.....kind of.

cjs260 · October 2016

@AfKash Ahh! He would die! Hahaha!

hjmorgan-2 · October 2016

@cjs260 LOL! "Angry button" xD

Briala · October 2016

My husband told me today that I would owe him a lot of diaper changes for DS after all this is over, I about killed him with my gaze. I am laid up in the hospital for months and having lots of uncomfortable poking and prodding, medication, and not allowed to even sit up. I don't owe him anything imo he can change all the diapers for the next few months in return

Wholesome · October 2016

@Briala once he sees you give birth, he'll turn his tune around. I actually milked mine for longer than I should have, for a while, he wouldn't say no to me for anything and actually said, "babe, you can do whatever you want. You pushed a human out of your vagina." Haha

raquel87 · October 2016

My first 2 sons are from a previous relationship, their dad use to say whenever he had to watch his own children that he was babysitting! Um...NO they are your kids, your not babysitting!!

katesmama0706 · October 2016

I sat down in our teeny downstairs shower to shave my legs the other night because I didn't want to go upstairs and get in the tub but didnt trust myself to stand and keep my balance. Well, luckily DH was home because I couldn't stand back up and had to call him to come help me. He didn't say anything, but stood there and just laughed at me. The shower is so small I can't wash my hair without banging my elbows on the walls, there was no way I was getting back up on my own! In hindsight it was super funny but at the time I was like "omg stop laughing and help me!"

ChristineO36 · October 2016

I want to preface this by saying my SO has been amazing throughout this whole pregnancy so far. That said, it doesn't mean he hasn't made DUMB comments along the way lol. The most recent last night while we were talking to my mom. She made a comment bout how she hopes I don't have back labor since I've been having so many back issues lately. His response was to shrug his shoulders and say, "Pain is pain. What's the difference if it's in the front or the back?" I said, "HOw about I smack your ass and then kick you in the crotch. You can tell me what hurts more." LOL

mudderbear · October 2016

ChristineO36 said:

I want to preface this by saying my SO has been amazing throughout this whole pregnancy so far. That said, it doesn't mean he hasn't made DUMB comments along the way lol. The most recent last night while we were talking to my mom. She made a comment bout how she hopes I don't have back labor since I've been having so many back issues lately. His response was to shrug his shoulders and say, "Pain is pain. What's the difference if it's in the front or the back?" I said, "HOw about I smack your ass and then kick you in the crotch. You can tell me what hurts more." LOL

This should be a requirement when we are finally in labour...like okay husband get over here so I can cause you some pain so you know what it feels like. When I was in labour with my first he told me "oh that one wasn't too bad, it was pretty short" um excuse me? Just because it was "short" (felt like 9 hours) doesn't mean it didn't hurt like a mother f-er

Kittievr4 · October 2016

In jest, but still, DH just told me "pregnancy is so hard for me [him]" um. What?!

newyearsbaby5 · October 2016

Walking dogs with H tonight and he bumps into me.

H: Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there.
Me: (give him a glare)
H: See, wasn't that nice I said I didn't see you rather than you were large and in the way?
Me: (all the evil glares)

Briala · October 2016

@ChristineO36 back labor is no joke! I had an OP baby first time around and it was awful, there was only one position I could stay in it was so painful. I opted for an epidural eventually and that allowed my labor to progress. Boys are dumb mine took a nap while I was crying on the bed

canavara · October 2016

I don't know if this counts truly as "stuff my SO said" but he reads books to the baby and every time he does, he freaking reads the copyright page to the baby too... like every single word of it, including all of the original copyright dates, where the book was published, by what publishing company, and god knows what else.

I'm sure at this point he just does it to fuck with me, but I can't figure out what made him do it the first time before he knew it would get under my skin.

expandcontract · October 2016

@canavara lol! Maybe he's doing it because it's just a way for your baby to hear his voice longer? Either way, you're lucky. I've been bugging my husband to read or talk to our baby but he doesn't cuz he's a lazy ass.

AshleySparkle720 · October 2016

Dh asked me if I was "always going to be like this" when I was putting clothes away tonight. I'm assuming he thinks I'm nesting? He was gone for almost my entire pregnancy and the newborn stage of DD1 so he literally has no idea what's happening hahaha

MaryNog · October 2016

@canavara it's never too early to learn about copyright- piracy is not a victimless crime!

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