School-Aged Children
kknoll59
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Boys aren't circumcised and I'm worried about where we live
kknoll59
member
I have 2 boys, 5 and 3. When they were born we lived in seattle. We made the choice not to circumcise them for a number of reasons but mostly because I didn't feel it was necessary and that they could make the choice later in life if they so choose. We've moved to North Central wisconsin where people are much, much more conservative on just about every topic. Since being here, 2 years, I've never encountered another little boy who is uncut. Yesterday my friends husband was talking about how thier 3 day old wasn't sleeping because "he got his weenie whacked" and how he felt bad for the kid but he'll thank him later in life so he won't be embarrassed. I don't feel bad for making the choice we did but I don't want my kids to feel humiliated and taunted if they end up being the only ones. If they are, I would feel like I subjected them to this for my own beliefs. Anyone have any experience with this?
Re: Boys aren't circumcised and I'm worried about where we live
Anyway, my point is that it hasn't been something my 12 and 11 y.o. boys have really talked about much with their peers, or their cousins (whom I know for a fact aren't circumcised). Maybe I've heard them mention the differences in passing, but it was literally a non-issue. Our oldest two are going to junior high next fall, so we'll see what happens then. And there's always high school--plenty of body shaming and locker room type teasing opportunities then, unfortunately, and I doubt many people escape that, regardless. But still. I wouldn't really worry about it too much either way.
George (3)
I've been with DH for 10.5 yrs. Married 6 yrs and having sex with him for 9 years and as sad as it sounds i didnt realize he wasnt circumised until like 3 or 4 years ago lol. How i never noticed i dont know. Or maybe i didnt care. It does its job
The only people who are going to care if they are circumcised are themselves and their partners. If as adults they dont like it they can get it done. But most likely they wont want to because theyve had it liked that all their lives.
At the end of the day YOU do what YOU have to and need to for your sons. & I think the best thing you can do is just teach them to feel comfortable with their bodys.
Mom of older kids chiming in. I live in the suburbs of Washington, DC, where there are a lot of people who have come from other countries where circumcision is not the norm. It's probably still more common than not among parents who identify as primarily American as opposed to Something-American.
Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it too much. My son is 12, and I would be shocked if he's seen a ton of other boys' penises, even though schools have urinals and he's been to swim camp. Kids do change for gym class in middle school and beyond, but they don't shower. Even at sleepovers, they're changing into pajamas, but not taking off their underwear. I know there are situations where kids will show each other their parts out of natural curiosity, but it's not like boys spend a ton of time naked together.
When you think your boys are at an appropriate age for this, talk about circumcision and explain that it's routine for some families and in some cultures, but that other parents choose not to circumcise their baby boys. Describe how a circumcised penis looks different from theirs and let them know that other boys may not realize that not all penises look the same! Give them a "no biggie" answer so that they can handle it matter-of-factly if they're ever confronted by another kid.
It is my experience that most boys/men in the area are circumcised, I would rarerly come across someone who still had their foreskin, but it did happen on occasion. Growing up we did go to local beaches and pools, and as a child I just thought all of the other men/boys retracted their foreskin. We moved when I was about 10 to a small town around Hudson. During the year we lived there I found out what circumcision really was during a doctor's appointment, my parents were fairly conservative and never really explained any of these things to me. It was not uncommon growing up to go to the bathroom outside with other boys, and I did have some ask why I was different, now that I knew what it was I could explain it. They were usually curious and I never had any issues.
We moved back to the rural Point area the next year, so now I was the new kid as we moved to a different part of the area and quite often bullied at school. During Junior high orientation I found out communal showers were mandatory, I have kids now that are in junior high and that is not the case anymore they say. Needless to say I was terrified of getting picked on by the other kids over my foreskin, it was a challenge over those three years but I actually managed to avoid anyone finding out at school I wasn't circumcised.
I realize I may have provided you more information than you may have liked, but I would say be sure they at least understand what the difference is. It sounds like you more than likely have already done that, but people assumed I knew things I didn't. As for any concern, as long as they are not in a large group of teenage boys showering together I would bet everything will work out just fine, most adults will look the other way, and small groups of boys will be more curious than mean.