My DS is 7.5 months. We started bed sharing at 3.5 months when I went back to work, it was the only way to get sleep. For the past couple weeks he's been tossing and turning so much that baby, me and my husband weren't sleeping. So... we put his crib together and in his own room finally. Started putting him down a bit earlier like between 7-8. I then was bringing him into bed with me about midnight every night so we could sleep because he kept waking up. That's not working either as he just keeps waking up. So for the past 3 nights he's been in his bed/room and I simply keep going to him Everytime he wakes. The first night he was up every 30minutes, it was horrible!! The second night he was up every 45mins to 2 hrs the third night he was up every 45 minutes like clock work. I tried CIO the 2nd night for a couple 5 minute increments, but it's just not for me or DH. I want to help the baby sleep and sooth himself and most of all sleep. I feel like such a failure in this area. I don't want to be a hindrance to him becoming a good sleeper, don't want him to feel alone, etc. I need some tips.
Honestly I would love to just continue cosleeping with him if he would only sleep. I go in every time he cries and pick him up because if I don't a blood curdling cry will definitely proceed. I rock, swing, hold, nurse him back to sleep and this alone can take half hour to and hour only to lay him down and have him screaming, standing up in the crib wanting me within 45 minutes sometimes 10 minutes. What in the world do I need to do?
Re: HELP! Transition from bed sharing to crib
I am not really of much help in this because I have resorted (and am resorting now again) to CIO when my LO starts having sustained sleep trouble like this. It seems to work for us. So that's my disclaimer.
Would your little guy sleep better if his crib (or pack 'n' play or something portable to sleep in) were in your room, since he's used to being near you?
Best of luck. And lots of sleepy vibes to your LO.
@=caenis= it is hellish and so hard
@middy411 thank you so much for that encouragement. Do you let her cry for 15 minutes straight? I'm afraid he may have a leg between the rails or busted his lips on the crib because he stands and takes steps now too along with crawling into the rails
I had such a migraine last night from no sleep and stress of this whole sleep training stuff I caved in Gosh I wish it was easier. I've tried sitting right beside him even with my hand on him and nothing works except picking him up and putting him to sleep.
I'm going to try starting for naps. Could use some prayers for sanity... I'm struggling SOOOOO bad right now! Baby is struggling too because he's SOOOOO tired both day and night. He's a terrible napper too... 45 mins max
ETA: do I lay him down almost asleep for naps or what? I usually hold him Rocking him to sleep for about 10-15 mins then lay him down but only get about half hour then he's up. Can't get nothing done. Oh man, I'm so anxious right now!
Pushing bedtime back a little til they are really sleepy helps too. We try and get her down between 8-8:15pm for our best results (no crying). When we did it around 7:30pm she cried for about 10 minutes before settling to sleep. We've only been doing this for about a week and she's cried maybe 3 times total: 1st night- 30 minutes of crying (I did check on her/comfort her after 15 min this time), 2nd night- NO Crying!!! Hallelujah!, 3rd night- 10 min of crying (no checking/comfort), 4th and 5th nights- NO crying!!! (She's getting the hang of this and sleeping soooo long like 11-12 hours), last night- she was crying again for some reason... DH and I thought maybe something was wrong (burp? gas?) so I went in and picked her up and soothed her and patted her for a few minutes. I put her back down awake and she settled herself to sleep with no crying.
Again, I think DD was READY and eager to sleep well and she has done way better than I ever imagined. Some of it is trial and error and intuition and some us powering through based on sleep training ideals. It's so great that your LO slept well with you!! Rest is so wonderful! Hoping you find what works best for you two! Hugs!
When I've gone in and tried to reassure LO at time intervals, yes @jarob747 , he looks at me with heartache. I think what's happening is he is frustrated and wants to be asleep, and is looking at me and asking me to make it all better - but the reality is that I can't fix it for him. This is a skill he needs to learn and use himself. My fix would be a temporary spell that would be broken as soon as I'd lower him down into the crib again. That's what gives me the strength to keep doing it!
After our CIO refresher on Tuesday (45 min of crying before his first nap, poor dude - I checked in on him every 15 min), he's back to being a good sleeper again. 5 min or less until he settles himself and conks out.
OP, no real advice, but you sound exactly like I did with our oldest. I wish I knew the answer, because I could sure use it at my house, too!
And for what it's worth I think what you're describing may be something of a phase. My son has been sleeping very similarly. He's also mastering a lot of new abilities and I think his brain is on overload. I just keep telling myself that this too shall pass. Sleep is just another skill he'll master when he's good and ready.
With this LO, though, I really want to avoid the long term bed sharing, because I really have no down time during the day with 2 kids instead of 1, and I want that time to myself in the evenings. I also don't get the feeling that DD2 "needs" to bed share as much as DD1 did (personality wise). I definitely go by the "do what works for you" theory. I stressed so much with DD1 about doing the "right" thing until I realized that the only right answer was what was right for us.
Any time she would toss or turn she would just wake up screaming and any time I bent over to place her in her crib she would scream bloody murder. I was up about every hour holding her and rocking her and nursing her. My biggest concern was that she has always thrown up very easily and quickly when she cries. I've always tried to avoid her crying at all costs. But amazingly she never threw up in the few nights she cried during CIO. She actually hasn't thrown up while crying at all since. I must say, I believe my daughter was sooooo ready for sleep and to learn how to get herself to sleep. Luckily, she only cried for a few nights after the initial night and never very long. If she didn't respond well, I'd probably be sitting here saying I will never do it again too. I think if I had tried this earlier, she wouldn't have been ready. And if I waited much later, it may not have worked then either. I feel like I had one of those perfect timing moments. We can only do what we feel is best for our unique child. I'm sure there are plenty of sleep techniques out there. Hoping everyone finds what helps their LO get (and stay) asleep!
I literally had this conversation the other day with my husband about sleep and he reminded me that our baby is only going to need me this intensely for such a short portion of his life. Hearing that really melted my frustration. In the last six weeks my baby has cut 4 teeth, learned to sit up independently, learned to crawl, and is starting to pull up on things. I'm thinking the poor guy has a lot to think about and process. I've just been trying to hug, snuggle, love, and nurse baby when he wakes up now and I think even my change in energy helps him be more calm. I'm tired. But there's coffee. Lol. And I go to bed embarrassingly early some nights.
You mamas are awesome Glad to have this online group!
https://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/