As a STM, I feel like the bulk of my posts (and many other STM) have been very doom and gloom about newborns and what I wished I would have known (mostly based on negative experiences)...so lets talk about the BEST parts about having a newborn! This is a stretch for me because I have, admittedly, not loved looking back on the 0-6 month stage, but when pressed, there are some pretty great things for us to all be looking forward to! Thought this would be a nice, positive post to kick off the week. :-)
1. Maternity leave! While not great because of recovery, starting to figure out a new life, lack of long blocks of sleep, etc, I have many fond memories of my leave--napping on the couch with a sleepy baby, watching Gilmore Girls in it's entirety from start to finish, taking daytrips with the babe to the mall--Nordstrom malls are the BEST because they have little mommy rooms in the ladies room.
2. They really do sleep a lot more than you might believe...it's not all in one stretch--generally 2-3 hours/time, but you get a lot of downtime. Make sure to plan in showers/naps/etc and you will feel much more human!
3. You will likely find a little group of new mommy friends, if you know where to look. Join a new mom support group, find mommy and me activities for newborns, find ways to get out with the babe and surround yourself with others in the same situation--you can vent, share suggestions, go for coffee, just hang out, and know that no one is judging you if you can't make the baby stop crying. Look for baby friendly matinee movies--there are a few theaters in my area that do them and it's a great change to get out and feel a little more human.
This one will be different for each person, as it depends on your personal family dynamics/relationships... but one bonus to those first 6 months were all the visitors we had! We live far from family, so when people visited, it was for 4-7 days at a time---and being honest with them, that we expected their help some of the time, helped those visits be smooth and drama-free, because then everyone knew right off the bat what our expectations were (and I'm not talking about vacuuming the whole house, which was nice when that happened!, but more like, loading the dishwasher on your own; getting a box of tissues if you pull the last one; maybe help set the table or cook a meal...) and making sure they knew they'd not be catered to while they're here, really helped set the tone of the entire visit. But back to the point---Having Family & Friends Visit! Definitely a positive!
Thanks for starting this @Kipperoo! I too have been dreading the first six months.
I would second loving how much they sleep (it really is great and something I didn't fully appreciate until I had a toddler). I would add how snugly they are and how good they smell. I can't WAIT for that new baby smell.
The first six months was hard, thats for sure. But the snuggles were my favorite. DD would sleep on me during the daytime all the time and I would be just content chilling on the rocking chair binging on a netflix show. The early milestones are amazing too like first smile, laugh, being able to grab something on purpose and more.
While the time after 6 months gets easier, and I was stressed just like every other mom, I LOVED the newborn stage!
The night time routine- bath, lotion, pjs, nursing, and singing her to sleep was blissful! The amount of SNUGGLES!- enjoy the time you have before they MOVE! haha Those first giggles and coos! BREASTFEEDING! I was actually anti-nursing before she got here. I thought it would be super weird, and while I hated being restricted since I was uncomfortable nursing in public, I ended up LOVING nursing! When visiting with in-laws, I still got special alone time whenever DD needed to eat! All the adorable things they wear- caps and gloves and tiny socks! Wearing her in a moby and having her close all the time!!! Now she is miss independent All the "first holiday" things!
CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! Get excited first time mommies- it is definitely hard but you will be so in love
Yes, RainyDays86 and pshaortao--the snuggles! So great. My 2 year old now only snuggles once in a blue moon...I miss those days with him! It felt like they would last forever but they most certainly did not.
Yes, definitely the maternity leave snuggling. And they stay where you put them! They might protest, but they can't crawl away and get into something. Oh, and often times breastfed babies only poop once a week. That makes diaper changes a breeze.
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot I definitely didn't appreciate that "stay where you put them" phase until I had a terrorizing toddler trying to throw himself off the stairs/couch/anything.
I loved the baby snuggles and how portable and easy they are to take with you places at that age. They just hang out or sleep in their carrier and carseat!
I can agree with a lot of the moms that the brand new infant stage wasn't my absolute favorite, my daughter is 20months now and is such a joy. One thing I really miss, is watching all the facial expressions she had (especially while sleeping) when she was a newborn. No matter how tired, or smelly, or whatever I was... those happy, innocent face expressions always put a smile on my face!
I love the newborn stage once a routine is established. My fav is meeting them and watching their new siblings meet them. The vid we have of my oldest meeting his new bro makes me cry every single time. The snuggles are top notch. Before they want to get down and move all the time. I soak that up! And I love breastfeeding. The process can be so frustrating and I only made it 3 months with my first. But with my second we made it to 9 months and it was amazing. The connection and process of starting and finally getting to a good place it so well worth it. Get all the help you can!
I asked DH what his favorite part about the first three months with DD. He said how much she slept and how low maintenance she was.
Since there's mention of poop.. DD pooped quite a bit so we were not one of those lucky parents whose babies pooped every few days. If she skipped even one day, we were like oh let's bike her legs to make there's at least no trapped gas (aka fussy instead of able to sleep).
This is kind of a different answer but goes along with being positive. The first 12 months with my 1st were so hard! She was colicky for 6 months and she never slept. Just so hard. I won't dwell too long on it. Obviously it wasn't so bad that I didn't want another, but they do have a 4 year gap.
I was freaked out about the infant phase with my second. I was dreading it so much. But his baby hood was a dream! He fit right in and slept wonderfully. It was truly easy. And I had so much more confidence which I also think helped.
So if you only have one and are freaking out about having another, it can actually be really good!
Such a difficult journey but such a priceless time because of... -ALL of the firsts -sleeping/napping/snuggling on Mommy's chest -watching hubby be a daddy -the amazement of having made, carried and delivered a human into the world
I was so glad to have the idea of creating a first year photo book with at least one photo of my DS per day. I LOVE looking at how he changed from day to day. My hubby thought I was crazy/psycho at the time but totally appreciates my effort now!
Good luck newbies! Just remember - when you are sleep deprived and hear that baby crying, smile and know that you are his/her world and will make EVERYTHING better! Who has that kind of power?! Us moms!!!
I love that they don't talk back to you, how light they are to carry around, and you don't have to chase them around the house! And the obvious how cute they are, the new baby smell and getting to know a brand new little person you made!
I've got some of the same as others, but they are just so wonderful that I'll say them again! The little newborn sleeping expressions are spectacular. New baby smell. (Though clean toddler smell is pretty great too.) So many snuggles! For me with second baby, I love how big sister had so much fun picking out outfits for little sister every day! All the baby clothes are obviously cute, but seeing big sister think that her old clothes were so tiny and cute was so special! I'm hoping she keeps it up with this little one as well.
They are hilarious. My daughter farted like a trucker from day one, you would be singing to her, rocking her, etc and she would just let it rip. The funniest part is that her expression never changed- she would just be totally chill farting like a teenage boy. We look back on the first few months fondly around here- there is so much downtime, sleep, feed, burp, rock and sing, repeat. I was taking baths daily and so much more comfortable them being pregnant! It definitely has gotten more fun as she has gotten older, but she made me laugh from the beginning.
The smooshyness!! They wrinkle up their little foreheads when they stretch, the way the look at you while they are eating, they are so tiny and perfect. They smell good, even their puke and poop initially. Many love to cuddle and when you put one down they stay put! Haha! That doesn't last long so enjoy that
Formerly ChoicesMom "Squishy" 2007 "Lyric" EDD Nov/4/11 - c/p Feb/11 "Fishy" 2012 "Bean" 2014 "Lux" EDD Apr/21/17 - c/p Aug/16 "Kokonah" EDD May/24/17 - m/c Oct/16 1 surprise - 1 Noonie - 1 preemie - 3 gone but not forgotten - One more on the way!! Grab bag of mental health disorders Pancolitis
There's so much. I love just looking at them sleeping peacefully. During maternity leave with DS2, I loved being home and spending more time with DS1 and watching him be such a great big brother.
you can take them out to dinner because they usually sleep through most of it from the car ride lol
YES! I forgot about this one. I remember DS sleeping away through dinners in fancy restaurants with friends and thinking "this isn't so bad! We are totally going to be those parents that teach our kids how to go out in restaurants from day one!" Fast forward to a 2 year old toddler...haha...not so much! But we still try...just nothing fancy.
EEEEK! Reading through the other posts reminded me of even MORE wonderful newborn things! You guys are so right.... A few weeks after DD was born, I felt skinny so we got dressed up and went to Olive Garden. We had so much fun and she snoozed away! @Kipperoo I think we thought the same thing! Now it is IMPOSSIBLE to take DD out she is just starting to have tantrums lol. @Squirtgun I sure hope DD loves being the big sister... that sounds so special
This is great. I'm not a newborn person so I'm definitely on board with this post. My answers:
1) Breastfeeding ONCE YOU GET THE HANG OF IT. One thing I liked about it was that you're also not expected to do anything else while breastfeeding. I BF DD for over two years, and as a result didn't have to do a protracted bedtime for DS each night (sometimes I was involved but sometimes not.) While you breastfeed, DH/SO does stuff with the other kids, laundry, etc. You just sit and feed.
2) Milestones come along quickly. They seem to take a while, but on balance there are a lot of them in the first year and not so many as the kid gets older. 3) No talking back or misbehavior. It kind of sucks when they can't talk, but at least they aren't deliberately misbehaving. The saying is, "little kid, little problems. Big kid, big problems" and it's sort of true.
4) Sibling love. This applies at any age, but the thing I'm most looking forward to is watching my current children bond with the new baby.
5) Everyone else loves babies. For better or for worse you get a lot of attention.
I find the "maternity leave" answers correct but a little depressing. I agree and had a great leave for my 2nd. But I have no leave this time other than "it's summer!" (though I'm supposed to do all of my research/scholarship over the summer.) I had inadequate leave for #1.
Giving birth is one of the most overwhelming, exhilarating, difficult, and AMAZING experience of your life surely we will get this more in depth in the future. But seeing and kissing that baby for the first time is amazing. Watching your family as they great a new soul into their lives is something you will always treasure. Newborns are hard but that bond from Day 1 is the most fulfilling. I am most looking forward to newborn smell, they way that pass out in your arms with a milk coma, the quiet bond of nursing. I can't wait to see my two big girls greet a sibling. DD #2 will be 3 when I have the baby. She loves baby dolls- I am so excited to see her excitement with having a real live baby at home.
Giving birth is one of the most overwhelming, exhilarating, difficult, and AMAZING experience of your life surely we will get this more in depth in the future. But seeing and kissing that baby for the first time is amazing. Watching your family as they great a new soul into their lives is something you will always treasure. Newborns are hard but that bond from Day 1 is the most fulfilling. I am most looking forward to newborn smell, they way that pass out in your arms with a milk coma, the quiet bond of nursing. I can't wait to see my two big girls greet a sibling. DD #2 will be 3 when I have the baby. She loves baby dolls- I am so excited to see her excitement with having a real live baby at home.
My goodness you are spot on!! Beautifully said. Got me all teared up. I cannot wait for all this joy again!!!
I didn't see this in September either! Everything everyone has said is true. The smell, the snuggles, the adorable mini outfits, the firsts...all so great. I am so looking forward to meeting this little person and experiencing it again. I think adding a proud big sister to the mix will add a new element of joy too.
May Siggy Challenge: Labor Memes
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10 DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI) BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
Thanks for bumping this!! It was originally my thread and largely my downer comment in the weekend randoms that spurred the need to resurrect it, haha...a nice reminder of some of the more positive elements of babies.
I had moaned a bit about the struggles of breastfeeding earlier in the other thread. But then I think about all those little sleepy drunk post nursing smiles. Augh such sweetness. And I also remember when she started to smile socially and I would exclaim oh my gosh you're smiling! All those little things during the newborn days were the best.
Thanks for bumping this! I certainly can use the reminder as fear has been taking over as primary lately. I will add my favorite was watching DH become a dad. Watching him lay on the ground to play with DS as a newborn was heart melting. Also introducing DS to my dad. All the grandparents were excited but the pride in my dad's eyes filled me up. Also whoever said you can go out to dinner was right. Man do I wish I would have realized that sooner.
Re: Newbie Advice--What's so great about babies, anyway??
2. They really do sleep a lot more than you might believe...it's not all in one stretch--generally 2-3 hours/time, but you get a lot of downtime. Make sure to plan in showers/naps/etc and you will feel much more human!
3. You will likely find a little group of new mommy friends, if you know where to look. Join a new mom support group, find mommy and me activities for newborns, find ways to get out with the babe and surround yourself with others in the same situation--you can vent, share suggestions, go for coffee, just hang out, and know that no one is judging you if you can't make the baby stop crying. Look for baby friendly matinee movies--there are a few theaters in my area that do them and it's a great change to get out and feel a little more human.
For my first, it was neat to see how much joy a baby brought to our family members.
Maternity leave. I can't wait.
I would second loving how much they sleep (it really is great and something I didn't fully appreciate until I had a toddler). I would add how snugly they are and how good they smell. I can't WAIT for that new baby smell.
The night time routine- bath, lotion, pjs, nursing, and singing her to sleep was blissful!
The amount of SNUGGLES!- enjoy the time you have before they MOVE! haha
Those first giggles and coos!
BREASTFEEDING! I was actually anti-nursing before she got here. I thought it would be super weird, and while I hated being restricted since I was uncomfortable nursing in public, I ended up LOVING nursing! When visiting with in-laws, I still got special alone time whenever DD needed to eat!
All the adorable things they wear- caps and gloves and tiny socks!
Wearing her in a moby and having her close all the time!!! Now she is miss independent
All the "first holiday" things!
CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! Get excited first time mommies- it is definitely hard but you will be so in love
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
I loved the baby snuggles and how portable and easy they are to take with you places at that age. They just hang out or sleep in their carrier and carseat!
The snuggles are top notch. Before they want to get down and move all the time. I soak that up!
And I love breastfeeding. The process can be so frustrating and I only made it 3 months with my first. But with my second we made it to 9 months and it was amazing. The connection and process of starting and finally getting to a good place it so well worth it. Get all the help you can!
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
Since there's mention of poop.. DD pooped quite a bit so we were not one of those lucky parents whose babies pooped every few days. If she skipped even one day, we were like oh let's bike her legs to make there's at least no trapped gas (aka fussy instead of able to sleep).
I was freaked out about the infant phase with my second. I was dreading it so much. But his baby hood was a dream! He fit right in and slept wonderfully. It was truly easy. And I had so much more confidence which I also think helped.
So if you only have one and are freaking out about having another, it can actually be really good!
DD: 6
DS: 2
-ALL of the firsts
-sleeping/napping/snuggling on Mommy's chest
-watching hubby be a daddy
-the amazement of having made, carried and delivered a human into the world
I was so glad to have the idea of creating a first year photo book with at least one photo of my DS per day. I LOVE looking at how he changed from day to day. My hubby thought I was crazy/psycho at the time but totally appreciates my effort now!
Good luck newbies! Just remember - when you are sleep deprived and hear that baby crying, smile and know that you are his/her world and will make EVERYTHING better! Who has that kind of power?! Us moms!!!
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
Formerly ChoicesMom
"Squishy" 2007
"Lyric" EDD Nov/4/11 - c/p Feb/11
"Fishy" 2012
"Bean" 2014
"Lux" EDD Apr/21/17 - c/p Aug/16
"Kokonah" EDD May/24/17 - m/c Oct/16
1 surprise - 1 Noonie - 1 preemie - 3 gone but not forgotten - One more on the way!!
Grab bag of mental health disorders
Pancolitis
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
1) Breastfeeding ONCE YOU GET THE HANG OF IT. One thing I liked about it was that you're also not expected to do anything else while breastfeeding. I BF DD for over two years, and as a result didn't have to do a protracted bedtime for DS each night (sometimes I was involved but sometimes not.) While you breastfeed, DH/SO does stuff with the other kids, laundry, etc. You just sit and feed.
2) Milestones come along quickly. They seem to take a while, but on balance there are a lot of them in the first year and not so many as the kid gets older.
3) No talking back or misbehavior. It kind of sucks when they can't talk, but at least they aren't deliberately misbehaving. The saying is, "little kid, little problems. Big kid, big problems" and it's sort of true.
4) Sibling love. This applies at any age, but the thing I'm most looking forward to is watching my current children bond with the new baby.
5) Everyone else loves babies. For better or for worse you get a lot of attention.
I find the "maternity leave" answers correct but a little depressing. I agree and had a great leave for my 2nd. But I have no leave this time other than "it's summer!" (though I'm supposed to do all of my research/scholarship over the summer.) I had inadequate leave for #1.
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20