@emy730 sometimes it can be the sign of a yeast infection and is worth asking about. However, I find I have it too and no yeast infection (or anything else). Wearing a pantyliner and changing it frequently to help keep dry helps a little bit I find but some days by the end of the day it's time to change my underwear and start fresh.
Thanks ladies! I felt like 0 to 1 kid was no big deal, but I had a super easy baby and I was already familiar with meal planning and I baby wore which I think were big factors. So when all these girls were like "omgggggg 2 kids is the worst and I hate everything and it's all awful" I didn't know whether to think they were just doing it to themselves and creating this endless cycle of woe or if it really was an insane and impossible transition.
ETA: one girl posted last night that she had to shop at midnight because one kid in the cart seat and an infant seat in the basket made it impossible to shop with her kids and I was like "um that sounds self imposed buttttt....." I kinda feel like it's all stuff they're bringing on themselves but I didn't want to get cocky then have karma give me an impossible baby so I wanted some outside opinions!
@emy730 YES!! I am a super smeller anyway and the smells have ramped up down there following an increase in discharge recently. I am so over wearing pads after 14 weeks of progesterone suppositories so I just change my underwear.
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
me 38 DH 39. TTC#1 since July 2014 AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. Headed to Prague April 30 3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16 BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
@emy730 I've bought and changed more pairs of underwear in the last four months than I can ever remember. I'm constantly sweaty and have to change my underwear at least twice a day. I was feeling like the smelly kid, too!
I think the experience of having a baby and a toddler can really vary depending on the children. I lucked out with my second being a good sleeper from the start and breast feeding was really easy for me the second time around. Those 2 things made life so much easier. I also had more confidence in parenting, so that helped. I have never had issues getting out of the house with both or grocery shopping, you just need to plan ahead with snacks for the toddler and feed the baby on the go. Use a carrier and wear the baby when possible. I don't know why people leave babies in the infant seat and try to grocery shop. wearing is so much easier. The hardest part for me was bedtime. Sometimes I took the baby in with me while putting the toddler to bed, or read stories at night to him while feeding the baby, but if the baby was fussy I had to cut bedtime shorter for my toddler. And sometimes the baby had to cry a bit longer than I liked if I was in the middle of getting the toddler's dinner ready or he was in the bathtub. But overall I think it was harder going from 0 to 1. I don't expect going from 2 to 3 will be that bad, hopefully. But if I get a poor sleeper like my first I am going to need a lot of coffee.
@emy730 I'm loving the realness. I've been having funky/sweaty odors since the end of 1st tri. I'm hoarding the individually wrapped Always vag wipes in each of my purses and my work bag along with an pair of panties. Super necessary between the odor and all the peeing myself.
For the smell I use a feminine wash in the shower and a feminine spray every morning. As for the sweating along the underwear line I use baby powder, it works for the most part.
@katesmama0706 I'm so afraid of this. I had a hard transition from 0-1 and my daughter is not always the easiest kid. I've had moments during this pregnancy where I've wondered whether having a 2nd might be too much for us. I really envy moms who have 2+ and handle it with grace because I struggle regularly to find patience.
STMs - did your partner stay the night with you at the hospital where you gave birth? We just had our hospital tour last night, and when I was talking with my mom about it today, she made me feel like I was crazy for thinking my husband would stay the night there with me. I just assumed that's what all partners did, even though the tiny little chair/pull out thing looks super uncomfortable. What's the norm - do they stay with you or go home?
Not sure what's up with me?? Before I got pregnant I was obsessed with babies and being around them made me incredibly anxious to have children, on top of that I cried at every single baby commercial that I saw. Now... I'm not so sure? I went to see my cousin's new baby at the hospital last night and I didn't really feel anything and even more so, I was glad I still had a few more months until the baby is born! Emotional baby things don't make me cry anymore either.
Is this normal? It's totally freaking me out and I'm nervous that I won't feel connected to my son when he's born!! Am I alone here?
@juliebird6 yes. 100%. If for some reason my husband can't stay, I'll ask my mom to stay. I was very anxious about falling asleep while nursing in the hospital and needed my husband to stay awake with me sometimes. Even after having a vaginal birth, getting out of bed isn't easy. Definitely easier having a helper.
@BriannaE129129 nope not alone. I don't even find babies cute anymore. All I can say is, when your baby is born, a strange evolutionary protection mode kicks in where you are completely obsessed with your child- it's borderline pathological. Every fiber of your being will feel connected with this person. I promise. Breastfeeding for sure helped this process for me with my first. She was 100% dependent on only me.
@BriannaE129129 nope not alone. I don't even find babies cute anymore. All I can say is, when your baby is born, a strange evolutionary protection mode kicks in where you are completely obsessed with your child- it's borderline pathological. Every fiber of your being will feel connected with this person. I promise. Breastfeeding for sure helped this process for me with my first. She was 100% dependent on only me.
Eh, while it's this way for some, there are those of us that took a little longer to feel that connection. I didn't feel that instant connection with my baby and I worried that I wasn't cut out to be a mother, but it came and now it's very strong. It was definitely not instant.
STMs - did your partner stay the night with you at the hospital where you gave birth? We just had our hospital tour last night, and when I was talking with my mom about it today, she made me feel like I was crazy for thinking my husband would stay the night there with me. I just assumed that's what all partners did, even though the tiny little chair/pull out thing looks super uncomfortable. What's the norm - do they stay with you or go home?
Yes, my DH spent the whole time in the hospital with me for the first 2 births, the 3rd and 4th he spent at least 1 night with me, but then went home with the other boys the last night. It all depended on if we had someone to keep our other kiddos on how many nights he could stay.
@juliebird6 not a STM, but I worked in post partum a while. In hospitals with private rooms, everyone had their partners or another support person stay the night. Some places still have shared PP rooms and these places often ask that the support person staying the night be female so as not to creep out the roommate.
Yes, the recliner chairs or cots your husband will sleep on aren't as comfy as your bed at home, but you having to give birth is much less comfy. They can deal.
@juliebird6 YES. Not only do you need the support with everything going on but it's good for them to realize from the start how nights can go. Also, if baby is fussy and not eating, no reason your husband can't hold baby for an hour while you get some sleep overnight. Our hospital is really nice because once you have the baby, they have a full size murphy bed that folds down so my husband and actually have a bed to stay in. But, if it was just a couch or chair, he'd still be there. I don't think my husband would have wanted to leave. My son ended up having to have a chest x-ray done overnight due to some breathing things and if my husband hadn't been there I would have been a mess (or more of a mess) trying to handle it on my own. Things happen at all hours of the day when you have a baby, no reason partners shouldn't be there for that too. However, I guess I will add, it may depend on each relationship and such but I see no reason for partners not to stay. My husband will be staying with this one and our toddler will be staying with grandma and grandpa.
@juliebird6 My husband stayed in the hospital with us the entire time we were there. I think it is pretty much the norm nowadays. A generation ago it was normal for dads to leave, but times change.
Thanks everyone! My mom had me feeling like I was totally crazy for assuming he would stay. I'm glad I wasn't way off in this.
@BriannaE129129 Omg this. I was just thinking the other day that I used to be so excited and now all of the sudden I feel very anxious and sometimes even grumpy about all these impending changes! Glad it's not just me...I was starting to feel like I was already a member of the bad moms club.
Thanks for the assurance! I haven't even brought up the way I feel to my husband or mother or anyone because I feel guilty about it! Nice to know that I'm not alone
DH stayed each night with me with our first, and will the second time. When I mentioned to my mom "Hey, I'm going to need your help with DS1 while I'm in the hospital...are you okay to stay with him?" She was like "Umm, yes, I've already planned to. Unless I have to share with the inlaws." lol
I remember how much help I needed after DS1/Csection and I know I'll need his help again.
Team Blue ~ Jan. 20 DS born 9/4/12 MMC July 2015 MMC January 2016
Thanks for the assurance! I haven't even brought up the way I feel to my husband or mother or anyone because I feel guilty about it! Nice to know that I'm not alone
I hope my comment didn't stress you out, but I just wanted you to know that even if you don't feel an immediate overwhelming connection, it's not a bad thing. Some people just take a little bit longer to develop that bond, but when it happens, it's a wonderfully beautiful thing.
@BriannaE129129 nope not alone. I don't even find babies cute anymore. All I can say is, when your baby is born, a strange evolutionary protection mode kicks in where you are completely obsessed with your child- it's borderline pathological. Every fiber of your being will feel connected with this person. I promise. Breastfeeding for sure helped this process for me with my first. She was 100% dependent on only me.
Eh, while it's this way for some, there are those of us that took a little longer to feel that connection. I didn't feel that instant connection with my baby and I worried that I wasn't cut out to be a mother, but it came and now it's very strong. It was definitely not instant.
This. While I loved my son in a "mother bear don't mess with him or I'll rip your arms off" way, I did not have the Baby Story tears, heartfelt emotion that some do. I was tired and hurt. I had this new little person that I was responsible for but I had no idea what the F I was doing. I was going through the new mom motions. Once home, and a week after birth it started getting stronger.
I do expect it to be a little more instant/emotional this time around. Now that I know what that deep, soul shattering love for a child feels like and what we've been through to have this one, I expect I'll be a blabbering mess.
Team Blue ~ Jan. 20 DS born 9/4/12 MMC July 2015 MMC January 2016
Thanks for the assurance! I haven't even brought up the way I feel to my husband or mother or anyone because I feel guilty about it! Nice to know that I'm not alone
I hope my comment didn't stress you out, but I just wanted you to know that even if you don't feel an immediate overwhelming connection, it's not a bad thing. Some people just take a little bit longer to develop that bond, but when it happens, it's a wonderfully beautiful thing.
*Stuck in a box* @BriannaE129129 I'm with @emy730 on this. It took a while to have that connection with DD. But never fear, it will come. As for other babies/kids, I still could care less (that sounds harsher than it is). Only my kid gives me the swoons
@BriannaE129129 I'm with @emy730 on this. It took a while to have that connection with DD. But never fear, it will come. As for other babies/kids, I still could care less (that sounds harsher than it is). Only my kid gives me the swoons
YES! My nieces are the only other children that really interest me.
@katesmama0706 We had a really easy transition from 1 to 2 kids. DS turned 2 a week before DS2 was born and while there have been a few rough weeks here or there generally it hasn't been that big of a deal. As far as the grocery store thing though, I'm totally with your friend. It is really, really hard to grocery shop with 2 due to lack of cart space. I have a big one year old and a 3 year old now and my little guy has always been huge. Wearing wasn't comfortable for us so really the only option was the car seat in the basket and the 2.5 year old in the seat. The only other option is allowing a toddler free reign of the store while trying to entertain a baby and remember everything on the list. Not going to happen because I am not a masochist.
My solution to this one hated errand? Car delivery. It's amazing, life changing, beautiful, all things good really. I actually look forward to our grocery days now because its a really nice afternoon. We go have lunch or play at the park and then pick it up on our way home. I never forget anything (used to happen all the time due to distracting children), I never have to leave halfway through because "Omg, the big one is going to lose it and the little one just pooped his pants!". I don't have to deal with the whole "Mommy, can I have some cookies?" breakdown in the checkout line. It's basically my favorite thing in the entire world if you can't tell
I second the grocery pickup/delivery. I normally do my grocery shopping on Saturday or Sunday and my DS stays home with my husband. They need time to play together too. However, on days that DS has to go with me to the grocery store I hate it, it just takes longer. A lot of times I will just place my order online and pick it up when it's ready. Not only is it a time save but as pp mentioned it allows you to shop from a list and not forget anything.
I definitely did not have that magical bonding moment with my son the second he was born. I was bewildered and confused and overwhelmed, and it took a couple days before it really happened. It was also sort of gradual rather than one huge epiphany. Some women bond with their babies the moment they get a positive test, some the moment the baby is born, and some not until weeks later. All are totally normal and it's also totally normal to stress about not feeling that 'magic moment'. Rest assured it will happen.
@emy730 YES!! I am a super smeller anyway and the smells have ramped up down there following an increase in discharge recently. I am so over wearing pads after 14 weeks of progesterone suppositories so I just change my underwear.
Can I just clarify that I wasn't saying that I have a super smelly vagina ... I have a super sensitive nose and can detect very faint smells... because now I feel like I might be branded as the smelly kid...
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
me 38 DH 39. TTC#1 since July 2014 AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. Headed to Prague April 30 3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16 BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
@katesmama0706 I'm so afraid of this. I had a hard transition from 0-1 and my daughter is not always the easiest kid. I've had moments during this pregnancy where I've wondered whether having a 2nd might be too much for us. I really envy moms who have 2+ and handle it with grace because I struggle regularly to find patience.
STMs - did your partner stay the night with you at the hospital where you gave birth? We just had our hospital tour last night, and when I was talking with my mom about it today, she made me feel like I was crazy for thinking my husband would stay the night there with me. I just assumed that's what all partners did, even though the tiny little chair/pull out thing looks super uncomfortable. What's the norm - do they stay with you or go home?
I don't think I'd be able to tear my husband away from our newborn ha so he will definitely be staying the night. I don't think I know anyone who didn't have a SO stay.
Our RainbowBaby H arrived at 37 weeks on 12/20/16!
Baby E arrived at 37 weeks on 01/31/15!
Married my Marine 05.23.14
*TW* TWIN LOSS 7.2.15 BFP 9.7.15 CP BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16 BFP 10.14.17 CP BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
Not sure what's up with me?? Before I got pregnant I was obsessed with babies and being around them made me incredibly anxious to have children, on top of that I cried at every single baby commercial that I saw. Now... I'm not so sure? I went to see my cousin's new baby at the hospital last night and I didn't really feel anything and even more so, I was glad I still had a few more months until the baby is born! Emotional baby things don't make me cry anymore either.
Is this normal? It's totally freaking me out and I'm nervous that I won't feel connected to my son when he's born!! Am I alone here?
Totally normal! As soon as you meet your baby face to face it'll be a completely life altering experience. Don't worry about it too much. I think everyone has these feelings to some extent.
Our RainbowBaby H arrived at 37 weeks on 12/20/16!
Baby E arrived at 37 weeks on 01/31/15!
Married my Marine 05.23.14
*TW* TWIN LOSS 7.2.15 BFP 9.7.15 CP BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16 BFP 10.14.17 CP BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
STMs - did your partner stay the night with you at the hospital where you gave birth? We just had our hospital tour last night, and when I was talking with my mom about it today, she made me feel like I was crazy for thinking my husband would stay the night there with me. I just assumed that's what all partners did, even though the tiny little chair/pull out thing looks super uncomfortable. What's the norm - do they stay with you or go home?
I don't think I'd be able to tear my husband away from our newborn ha so he will definitely be staying the night. I don't think I know anyone who didn't have a SO stay.
My husband stayed every night, and I needed him. It's definitely a two-person job in the beginning. If my husband couldn't have stayed, I would have had my mother stay. I had a csection though, and I couldn't get up without help really.
For the STMs... what is your fav diaper bag? I'm thinking a backpack style would be good for hands free purposes. Thoughts?
I switched to a backpack after I had my second. It's fantastic when you have two little ones. I used my old, over the shoulder for awhile but carrying an infant in a carrier and holding a 2 year olds hand was pretty difficult because it would always slip down and my weight was off center.
Backpack is easy. I keep a really cute, bright change purse in the front pocket with my cash and cards for easy grabbing at stores.
Re: Ask a STM+ Week of 9/19
I just change my under wear like 3x a day. Sometimes I still feel gross after a shower and it makes me crazy.
ETA: one girl posted last night that she had to shop at midnight because one kid in the cart seat and an infant seat in the basket made it impossible to shop with her kids and I was like "um that sounds self imposed buttttt....." I kinda feel like it's all stuff they're bringing on themselves but I didn't want to get cocky then have karma give me an impossible baby so I wanted some outside opinions!
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
DS2: 11/5/14
@emy730 I'm loving the realness. I've been having funky/sweaty odors since the end of 1st tri. I'm hoarding the individually wrapped Always vag wipes in each of my purses and my work bag along with an pair of panties. Super necessary between the odor and all the peeing myself.
Before I got pregnant I was obsessed with babies and being around them made me incredibly anxious to have children, on top of that I cried at every single baby commercial that I saw. Now... I'm not so sure? I went to see my cousin's new baby at the hospital last night and I didn't really feel anything and even more so, I was glad I still had a few more months until the baby is born! Emotional baby things don't make me cry anymore either.
Is this normal? It's totally freaking me out and I'm nervous that I won't feel connected to my son when he's born!! Am I alone here?
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
Yes, the recliner chairs or cots your husband will sleep on aren't as comfy as your bed at home, but you having to give birth is much less comfy. They can deal.
Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
@BriannaE129129 Omg this. I was just thinking the other day that I used to be so excited and now all of the sudden I feel very anxious and sometimes even grumpy about all these impending changes! Glad it's not just me...I was starting to feel like I was already a member of the bad moms club.
I remember how much help I needed after DS1/Csection and I know I'll need his help again.
Team Blue ~ Jan. 20
DS born 9/4/12
MMC July 2015
MMC January 2016
I do expect it to be a little more instant/emotional this time around. Now that I know what that deep, soul shattering love for a child feels like and what we've been through to have this one, I expect I'll be a blabbering mess.
Team Blue ~ Jan. 20
DS born 9/4/12
MMC July 2015
MMC January 2016
My solution to this one hated errand? Car delivery. It's amazing, life changing, beautiful, all things good really. I actually look forward to our grocery days now because its a really nice afternoon. We go have lunch or play at the park and then pick it up on our way home. I never forget anything (used to happen all the time due to distracting children), I never have to leave halfway through because "Omg, the big one is going to lose it and the little one just pooped his pants!". I don't have to deal with the whole "Mommy, can I have some cookies?" breakdown in the checkout line. It's basically my favorite thing in the entire world if you can't tell
Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
Can I just clarify that I wasn't saying that I have a super smelly vagina ... I have a super sensitive nose and can detect very faint smells... because now I feel like I might be branded as the smelly kid...
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
*TW*
TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
BFP 9.7.15 CP
BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
BFP 10.14.17 CP
BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
*TW*
TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
BFP 9.7.15 CP
BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
BFP 10.14.17 CP
BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
Backpack is easy. I keep a really cute, bright change purse in the front pocket with my cash and cards for easy grabbing at stores.