With my first I was really scared that breastfeeding was going to hurt as it did for @RissaAnnmaria562, because that was all I had ever heard. But for me brestfeeding didn't hurt at all, no bleeding, no scabs, no nothing. Not even clogged ducts.
I think it's really important to be aware that it can be really difficult, and hard work. And most importantly that it is more than ok not to breastfeed, what ever your reasons are. But I would just have liked to have heard some success stories as well. Therefore I thought I'd share my experience.
Breastfeeding was so painful for about two weeks for me. I bled and had cracked nipples. Every time the little one latched it hurt. But it gets better! I promise. Here we are 14 months later still nursing and I'll be happy to help talk anyone through it those first few weeks or even months of you need a little extra support
Even though there are a ton of good ones I don't think anyone has mentioned sleep positions! At some point during pregnancy it is not advised to sleep on your tummy (maybe right away?). And then at some point you're not supposed to sleep on your back anymore. I jumped the gun on this and started sleeping on my left side (recommended for best blood flow to uterus) a few weeks early thinking it was best for baby so I might as well. But ended up regretting it so much as soon as i was no longer "allowed" to sleep on my back anymore. Also, get a pregnancy pillow. It was my only saving grace.
This is #4 haha but the first time I was insanely cautious about everything. I knew I would breastfeed, I knew we would never co sleep blah blah blah haha! Now I know just to go with the flow. -The more you plan, the more room there is for stress and disappointment. - Just take care of yourself best you can, both physically and emotionally. - Don't stress about the weight gain, eventually it goes away (ish hahah). - Don't panic about every little thing you put in your mouth, as long as you aren't drinking, using drugs, or starving yourself you are probably fine. - Get prenatal massages. - Don't be afraid to accept help, you're growing a human, some days you're gonna need it. - Enjoy the little things, the first flutters, the ultrasounds, it goes way faster than you think and you WILL miss it. - Remember that ultrasounds aren't just to take a look and find out the sex, they are a medical tool to see if your baby is healthy, ask questions, make sure they're done right. - An NT scan is NOT to check if the baby has DS so that you can abort. It's to check your odds of many things and can be very useful should something unexpected show up during the anatomy scan. Don't turn it down just because it's the "DS test". - Don't judge other moms for their decisions regarding life and death. It KILLS me that people abort for syndromes, my DS is such a blessing and I'm so saddened by the fact that people would choose to abort others like him. BUT there should be no judgement. Until you've been through it, walked in their shoes, heard the things they've been told, you have no idea what that is like. Offer help if you wish but mostly just offer support. - Pregnancy gas is RANK - Labour sucks, everybody poops, nobody cares that you pooped, you will lose all of your modesty might as well embrace it now. - Epidurals are amazing!! - Your doc doesn't care if your vag is shaved. - Breastfeed in public ASAP! The anxiety lessens the more you do it so get out there right away. It will give you so much freedom. - Sleep with your baby, sleep without baby, breastfeed, formula feed, tube feed...do whatever you have to do in order to survive with an iota of your sanity intact. We're all just faking it
Formerly ChoicesMom "Squishy" 2007 "Lyric" EDD Nov/4/11 - c/p Feb/11 "Fishy" 2012 "Bean" 2014 "Lux" EDD Apr/21/17 - c/p Aug/16 "Kokonah" EDD May/24/17 - m/c Oct/16 1 surprise - 1 Noonie - 1 preemie - 3 gone but not forgotten - One more on the way!! Grab bag of mental health disorders Pancolitis
@sqfibemom Not everyone poops lol but I am pretty sure I peed all over my son repeatedly as I pushed him out! I forgot one thing. Around 28 weeks my areolas went pale. I had normal pinkish brown areolas then I went to the shower at night and one was turned pale like my skin white and the other was like half turned over to white like my skin. By morning they were both white and of course I asked my md and they had no explanation for it other than things don't normally happen to both boobs if its something wrong with them its usually just happens to one boob. I remember my lactation consultant in the hospital remarking on how fair my boobs were.... while she was shoving them into my sons mouth for me lol its a very weird experience.
Also DO YOU- my husband tried to make me feel weird for literally barely wearing anything on my chest at the hospital and when the cleaning person or the food person came in I was like not caring at all. Im feeding my son if you have a problem with that you shouldnt work in the maternity section or give the food trays to the nurses. When we got home my father in law lives with us and my husband would ask me to cover my self while i pumped and I couldnt walk around without a shirt for obvious reasons but my nipples hurt so bad to have anything touching them was horrible so I either wore a nursing sports bra type thing since it was summer or I hid in my bedroom with baby to get some free boob time.
I also say for me personally breast feeding was soo hard I wish I had waited to invite people over. My son fought me so much to take the boob that I was embarrassed to try it with others around and not just embarrassed I felt like a failure and didn't want others to think I was a failure (part of the pp baby blues whatever youd like to call it) so I would pump while people were there and never really got to dig deep and get the bf thing down pat. I eventually switched to EP at 6 weeks when we realized LO wasn't transferring and it was a bad situation for him to be trying to bf.
@Yiggle09 I remember before I had DD a friend told me she hung out topless in her house for the first month. That seemed so weird to me. Then I had DD and also enjoyed my share of free-boob time. I'm a fairly lazy person in all aspect of life, and it was just so much easier to hang around snuggling my baby topless. I wore shirts when company was there, but I was always wishing they'd leave so I could let loose.
I nursed for the first 4 months with DD, she had serious stomach issues so we had to stop, but if you have the cracked/sore nipples there is a prescription cream that works wonders! Also, nipple shields made all the difference for us! Even when mine healed, I used the shield!
My baby was colicky and somehow I didn't realize it. I was trying so hard to breastfeed and was sleep deprived and thought it was just the way babies are. After calling my mom to come hold her while she screamed for what felt like FOREVER, we finally realized something wasn't right. If you think your baby is crying more than normal, keep talking to your pediatrician.
Babycenter has an article about poop that you should check out. As I mentioned, my daughter has serious stomach issues and her poops always worried me but I could compare on there and it actually helped us know when she needed to go to the hospital.
You will get no sleep in the hospital, even if your LO isn't crying. There are so many troops of doctors and nurses stopping by at all hours that it was a relief to go home.
Breastfeeding is hard, and in all kinds of different ways. I was lucky and never had pain, but I did have a LO who was always sleeping and completely uninterested in eating for the first two weeks, so we had to do all kinds of crazy things (cold wash clothes, tickling feet, etc.) to get her to wake up and eat.
Don't delay getting good help if your baby blues aren't going away. Good help might not be available in the first or even the second place that you seek it, but it's worth being persistent.
Married 10 years. 1 DD (5 y/o). Thrilled to be pregnant with LO#2 after almost 3 years of trying: due May 2017
First I wish I understood that just because you have an epidural doesn't mean you don't feel yourself having the baby. They turn it down at the end and I felt everything and the exact moment he came out. Also that the first 18 hours or so the baby sleeps forever. It was bliss, but then uh oh he's up and won't go back to sleep. Got no sleep in the hospital at all someone coming in all the time and the baby is right next to you the whole time too.
Wish I too knew about a tongue tie. My guy was diagnosed in the hospital and yet they still pushed me to nurse! He couldn't latch and my nipples were bleeding so bad. I had a complete breakdown and finally after a week decided to switch to the bottle. Was by far the best decision I ever made. BFing is hard and sometimes some women just can't. My milk hardly ever came in but I still pumped and supplemented. Will prob do the same think this time to save some sanity.
Letting go of the mom guilt was hard. Hearing all the time "don't do this" or "you really should do this". He is my child I know whats best for him not someone else. Once I went with my gut everything worked out. Mainly knowing that sometimes babies just cry for no reason. As long as he was fed, changed, no tired, and not in any pain, it was ok to let him fuss just a bit. Jumping at every moment wasn't always necessary.
Definitely my #1 thing is, do not eat whatever you want in mass quantities. It's tempting, especially when you're craving everything under the sun and miserable, but for the love of God, don't trash your body while you're pregnant. I developed a laundry list of health problems after my second baby that I attribute to not taking care of myself, and it was horrible. I'm still dealing with it now, but I'm on a strict diet and exercising, so that seems to be helping.
Re: I wish I'd have known..
I think it's really important to be aware that it can be really difficult, and hard work. And most importantly that it is more than ok not to breastfeed, what ever your reasons are. But I would just have liked to have heard some success stories as well. Therefore I thought I'd share my experience.
-The more you plan, the more room there is for stress and disappointment.
- Just take care of yourself best you can, both physically and emotionally.
- Don't stress about the weight gain, eventually it goes away (ish hahah).
- Don't panic about every little thing you put in your mouth, as long as you aren't drinking, using drugs, or starving yourself you are probably fine.
- Get prenatal massages.
- Don't be afraid to accept help, you're growing a human, some days you're gonna need it.
- Enjoy the little things, the first flutters, the ultrasounds, it goes way faster than you think and you WILL miss it. - Remember that ultrasounds aren't just to take a look and find out the sex, they are a medical tool to see if your baby is healthy, ask questions, make sure they're done right.
- An NT scan is NOT to check if the baby has DS so that you can abort. It's to check your odds of many things and can be very useful should something unexpected show up during the anatomy scan. Don't turn it down just because it's the "DS test".
- Don't judge other moms for their decisions regarding life and death. It KILLS me that people abort for syndromes, my DS is such a blessing and I'm so saddened by the fact that people would choose to abort others like him. BUT there should be no judgement. Until you've been through it, walked in their shoes, heard the things they've been told, you have no idea what that is like. Offer help if you wish but mostly just offer support.
- Pregnancy gas is RANK
- Labour sucks, everybody poops, nobody cares that you pooped, you will lose all of your modesty might as well embrace it now.
- Epidurals are amazing!!
- Your doc doesn't care if your vag is shaved.
- Breastfeed in public ASAP! The anxiety lessens the more you do it so get out there right away. It will give you so much freedom.
- Sleep with your baby, sleep without baby, breastfeed, formula feed, tube feed...do whatever you have to do in order to survive with an iota of your sanity intact. We're all just faking it
Formerly ChoicesMom
"Squishy" 2007
"Lyric" EDD Nov/4/11 - c/p Feb/11
"Fishy" 2012
"Bean" 2014
"Lux" EDD Apr/21/17 - c/p Aug/16
"Kokonah" EDD May/24/17 - m/c Oct/16
1 surprise - 1 Noonie - 1 preemie - 3 gone but not forgotten - One more on the way!!
Grab bag of mental health disorders
Pancolitis
Also DO YOU- my husband tried to make me feel weird for literally barely wearing anything on my chest at the hospital and when the cleaning person or the food person came in I was like not caring at all. Im feeding my son if you have a problem with that you shouldnt work in the maternity section or give the food trays to the nurses. When we got home my father in law lives with us and my husband would ask me to cover my self while i pumped and I couldnt walk around without a shirt for obvious reasons but my nipples hurt so bad to have anything touching them was horrible so I either wore a nursing sports bra type thing since it was summer or I hid in my bedroom with baby to get some free boob time.
I also say for me personally breast feeding was soo hard I wish I had waited to invite people over. My son fought me so much to take the boob that I was embarrassed to try it with others around and not just embarrassed I felt like a failure and didn't want others to think I was a failure (part of the pp baby blues whatever youd like to call it) so I would pump while people were there and never really got to dig deep and get the bf thing down pat. I eventually switched to EP at 6 weeks when we realized LO wasn't transferring and it was a bad situation for him to be trying to bf.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
My baby was colicky and somehow I didn't realize it. I was trying so hard to breastfeed and was sleep deprived and thought it was just the way babies are. After calling my mom to come hold her while she screamed for what felt like FOREVER, we finally realized something wasn't right. If you think your baby is crying more than normal, keep talking to your pediatrician.
Babycenter has an article about poop that you should check out. As I mentioned, my daughter has serious stomach issues and her poops always worried me but I could compare on there and it actually helped us know when she needed to go to the hospital.
There are so many things I wish I knew.
First I wish I understood that just because you have an epidural doesn't mean you don't feel yourself having the baby. They turn it down at the end and I felt everything and the exact moment he came out. Also that the first 18 hours or so the baby sleeps forever. It was bliss, but then uh oh he's up and won't go back to sleep. Got no sleep in the hospital at all someone coming in all the time and the baby is right next to you the whole time too.
Wish I too knew about a tongue tie. My guy was diagnosed in the hospital and yet they still pushed me to nurse! He couldn't latch and my nipples were bleeding so bad. I had a complete breakdown and finally after a week decided to switch to the bottle. Was by far the best decision I ever made. BFing is hard and sometimes some women just can't. My milk hardly ever came in but I still pumped and supplemented. Will prob do the same think this time to save some sanity.
Letting go of the mom guilt was hard. Hearing all the time "don't do this" or "you really should do this". He is my child I know whats best for him not someone else. Once I went with my gut everything worked out. Mainly knowing that sometimes babies just cry for no reason. As long as he was fed, changed, no tired, and not in any pain, it was ok to let him fuss just a bit. Jumping at every moment wasn't always necessary.