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March 2017 Moms
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how to tell BFF I can't go to wedding because of Zika

rachsailsrachsails member
in March 2017 Moms

In need of some advice - I'm just fully beside myself.

My best friend from high school is getting married in Mexico later this fall.  I introduced her to her husband, and it's a small wedding.  I'm one of three bridesmaids.  We live in different parts of the country and she recently traveled all the way to my wedding and bachelorette.

My doctor has advised me not to go and my husband is also not comfortable with the idea, so I won't go.  I feel like I explored every possible way to make it work (I was fully prepared to treat all my clothes with permethrin, spray DEET everywhere, and wear a full mosquito net suit over my dress, stay inside except when I absolutely had to) and I'm just so sad I won't be with her on this day.  I've been through all the emotions.  

I just don't know how I can ease the blow of this.  She has of course told me that she understands if I can't come but I know she'll be disappointed.

Obviously there is no way to sugarcoat it, but I'm trying to think if there's any other gesture I can possibly make in lieu of attending the wedding.  Any ideas?  Have you ever missed a friend's wedding but done something awesome before/after?  There may be no way to put a positive spin on this, but I would LOVE any ideas y'all have.

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Re: how to tell BFF I can't go to wedding because of Zika

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  • dizzymom-2dizzymom-2 member
    I second planning a trip to see her! Also what if you made up a small package with little gifts leading up to the wedding since you can't be there... Like wedding countdown gifts so she has one to open each day for a week or something (whether they be sentimental or funny little gifts.) That way she knows you're thinking about her. 
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  • ngcsugirl1112ngcsugirl1112 member
    A trip out to see her and celebrate would be awesome!  We had to bail on a wedding in Grand Cayman back in July (didn't want to risk it) so I understand your situation.  
    Me (37) Hubby (39) Married since 4.2009
    EP:  2.17.2016
    DS:  3.4.2017
    Pregnancy TickerDD: due 7.16.2019


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  • MrsNap_515MrsNap_515 member
    my cousin is getting married in southern FL at the end of october, and I told her I couldn't go because being I'm a high-risk twin pregnancy, my dr's didn't want me flying and being too far from their care at that point...I also had Zika in my head since it's been found in Miami, etc. and I just wasn't comfortable with my situation of flying and being so far away
    **~*Noelle*~**
    Happily Wed DH in May 2010
    June 2012: DD#1 born after countless fertility cycles, our 4 year old miracle 
    TTC #2: current cycle: 225iu Menopur for 4 weeks, Ovidrel Trigger= BFP! Beta #1; 333, Beta #2 713! 1st u/s showed TWINS (7/18)
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • sammajane19sammajane19 member
    i love the idea of skyping into the wedding! maybe someone could sit a laptop in a chair ha. also, the idea of taking a trip to see her either before or after the wedding for a girls weekend is fabulous.
    Me: 29 | DH: 31
    TTC Since: Nov. 2015
    Dx: PCOS
    Clomid + Ovidrel, Round I: BFN
    Clomid + Ovidrel, Round II: BFN
    Clomid+Ovidrel, Round III: BFP! 7/5/16


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  • rachsailsrachsails member
    Thanks for all the great ideas and kind words!  
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  • BaylieGirlBaylieGirl member
    I'm sure she'll be really understanding. People have to understand if they have a destination wedding that there are lots of reasons people can't attend. Can you fly out to see her and plan a special day for you two? Maybe an extra special small shower at a spa? Or a cooking class shower? Something extra to show you care. 
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  • SchumeratorSchumerator member
    I would tell her that it's really important to you that your baby has a head. Kidding, but really, it's important.

    I have seen friends do a video to be played at the wedding when they could not be there, when they were apart of the bridal party, or supposed to be anyway. It was really special and meant a lot to the bride and groom. I think that would be a good idea! 
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  • Phil413Phil413 member
    I see the Skype thing on tv all the time, like when watching Say Yes to the Dress,  for instance, where it's a memorable moment that mom wants to be at but is in the hospital or something and can't be there. I think it's a really good idea so you can be there in spirit with your friend but in a safe way.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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