Ugh, @KateH1216 ! Yes, you obviously needed her permission, nay, her enthusiasm and obsession with the idea of a sibling, before proceeding with all that. People are so silly.
@mysteryship I've gotten that a LOT through life (I am Type 1 Diabetic and have been for about 10 years). I'm a relatively petite person, so when people find out, they have said, "Don't you usually have to be fat to be diabetic?" It's like they can't understand the disease so they just cling to their stupid assumptions and are content in their ignorance.
There is definitely that stigma, too, with diabetes that someone "did that to him/herself." No way. I don't care what type of diabetes you have (gestational, Type 1, 2, or 1.5). That's an idiotic thing to think/say!
Everyone has known we were planning to wait a few years after we got married to have a baby, it has been discussed with DH's husband many many times (they didn't want to wait and were very pushy.) We have been married 5 years. When DH called to tell his oldest sister we are having a baby, her response... is that a good or a bad thing? Really, it's not like we ever said we didn't want to have children!
Apparently a lot of my distant family thought we just didn't want kids... since we waited five years, apparently not getting pregnant as soon as you get married just means you outright don't want them. So we have gotten a lot of comments about that.
I had a few cousins tell me "I thought you couldn't have kids." It took extensive fertility treatment for this and these are people that I never told about any of my health issues, so clearly we have a gossiping problem!
MIL asked me at dinner with the whole family the other day, "are you planning to pump?" I have never been that open with her as far as my bodily functions but apparently it is appropriate to ask people about their fluids excreting their bodies at the dinner table as long as you are pregnant. We have never even discussed if I would be breastfeeding or not.
Also, why does everyone feel the need to tell you their birthing experiences as soon as they see a belly? I mean I love hearing stories, but certain people that we just don't have that relationship, we don't become best friends just because you have been pregnant and I am pregnant
Oh wow @acreight13 now that's one I never saw coming. I hope that question doesn't resurface this pregnancy for you (or anyone ever again, really). Yikes!
This will happen a little later on but one of my favorites from the last time I was pregnant was this:
Oh you're 2 weeks late. Are you dilating yet? Are you effaced?
Yes, random coworker, I really do want to tell you all about my cervix. Um no.
I forgot about these types!! I regretted SO much telling people my exact due date last time... people really hold on to it....and then hound you when it gets close/past....
This will happen a little later on but one of my favorites from the last time I was pregnant was this:
Oh you're 2 weeks late. Are you dilating yet? Are you effaced?
Yes, random coworker, I really do want to tell you all about my cervix. Um no.
I forgot about these types!! I regretted SO much telling people my exact due date last time... people really hold on to it....and then hound you when it gets close/past....
That's one reason I refuse to tell anyone my exact due date! I don't want family hounding us at the hospital, on Facebook, etc. I know if I did share it FI's mom would try to be in the OR and everybody and their mother would be bugging the crap out of us by text or Facebook. He'll come when he's ready, dang it!
People loved telling me when I was pregnant with DD1 that "first babies are never born on their due date. They are ALWAYS late." It was so discouraging. Nothing like telling a waddling whale of a woman that she must waddle 10 days longer than she had originally planned.
And then I yelled a big internal "suck it" to all of the naysayers because DD was born exactly on her due date.
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
I keep hearing that too @beff12 - either "first babies are *always* late!" or "first babies are *always* early!" I just smile and nod. I hope she comes on her due date like your first! That would shut everyone up (temporarily at least).
@beff12 That's right on topic with what I was going to post. Yesterday one of my coworkers was at my desk asking about when a project was completing in case he needed to take over at some point. I told him it's to complete the first week of December (due 12/30) so it should be ok. He told me to keep him in the loop just in case I have my baby early. My annoying coworker that sits beside us decides to pipe up "NO! She's going all the way to her due date." We ignore her and she continues ranting this about five more times. We are both like wtf. The first coworker mentions that his wife had their first three weeks early so it's possible. She again belligerently repeats that I'll absolutely being going full term. I finally turn and annoying say "It's really not your choice, you get zero say" and she stopped. For real though, why on Earth is there a need to be so insistent on something that is in no ones control?! I personally feel like I won't go past. Our last ultrasound baby was measuring almost a week ahead and it would surprise me too much if my blood pressure becomes a factor later.
Me: 26 & DH: 25
Married: August 2014 TTC since November 2015 BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16 BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
Yea with DD1, everyone insisted she would definitely be late, but she came right on her due date. This time I've just started telling people that whether or not I'm in labor, I'm going to start pushing about 6 days before she's due to ensure she comes out before the new year. Mama needs a tax deduction, baby!
I'm finding that the more uncomfortable I make it for them, the less they want to talk to me...
+1 to being told I would go late. MIL literally reset my due date in her head to be 10 days after my actual due date. DS came a wonderful 6 days early. Glorious boy.
I was so glad I had it in my head my 1st would be late because she was 41 weeks and 6 days late!!! I was already going completely crazy because I thought I'd risk out of birthing where I wanted to. I was going to try castor oil the next morning before they would break water and/or send me for a chemical induction. Thankful, it all happened on its own! My 2nd was oddly born on his due date, 3rd was 9 days late (which was like torture) and my 4th was 4 days late. I'd take on my due date again!
I was 2 weeks late, and only came out because those meanie doctors made me. I was holding out for Christmas, but noooo...apparently eating your own poop is frowned upon, even if you are still in the womb. Haha
I was 12 days late. I was due Thanksgiving Day. Hey, I was just trying to be nice and ensure my mom got Thanksgiving dinner. Had I not come out when I did my mom would have been induced 2 days later. I've gotten first babies are usually late, but I've got a gut feeling this one is coming early. DH was 7 weeks early and everyone in DH's family has commented my pregnancy is progressing just like my MILs progressed with him, so Squish is just like daddy and will probably come early. I don't mind hearing that, I hope I get to meet Squish earlier than anticipated Just not too early...
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
I was 3 weeks late (my poor mom being super pregnant in june/July in az!) And had so many health problems that were unknown.
My first I was induced 3 days before due date because pre e. Everyone told me I'd go super late because it was my first...my body decided otherwise. DD probably would have stayed put if allowed though.
I keep being told this one will go late...even though I'm having a RCS at least a week prior. No one cares...they still say I'll go late. Logic is missing from some people....
Kind of a FFC: I really don't want to let Eaton go late, because I really don't want him to have a birthday that falls on Christmas. He's due the day after DH's birthday. I'm tempted to schedule an induction on my due date and then if he comes early fine by me. Is that awful?
Kind of a FFC: I really don't want to let Eaton go late, because I really don't want him to have a birthday that falls on Christmas. He's due the day after DH's birthday. I'm tempted to schedule an induction on my due date and then if he comes early fine by me. Is that awful?
Nope. For one, I don't want Squish to come on my birthday (which is the day before my due date) and two, if I could schedule an induction date it would be 12/4, which is DH and my dating anniversary. Purely selfish of me because what a way to sum up 10 years together.
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
I love how random people try to judge when a baby is going to come. I was 2 weeks early for my mom, but my own body refuses to go into real labor on its own. My DD was over a week late, and we induced because she was measuring large. Each baby will do whatever they want, regardless of annoying coworkers or MILs predictions! Even my own mom keeps saying that Lucas could be born on my step dads birthday, Dec. 14th. But my due date is the 10th, and I keep telling her that repeat c-sections are scheduled 1 week before the due date. So around the 4th is more like it. But does she listen? No
Kind of a FFC: I really don't want to let Eaton go late, because I really don't want him to have a birthday that falls on Christmas. He's due the day after DH's birthday. I'm tempted to schedule an induction on my due date and then if he comes early fine by me. Is that awful?
Often care providers don't schedule inductions unless there's a medical need. All medical interventions come with some risk so usually there's got to be a justification to balance that risk.
So I was in Walmart (and I should just stop there) and had a 12 pack of diet coke in my cart. I'm in the soup aisle and a lady literally stops me (with my back turned to her searching for soup) and asks if I'm pregnant. Why, yes, yes I am. Then she proceeds to ask me if I'm going to "drink that," and by "that" I'm assuming she means my diet coke.
I asked her if she meant my diet coke. She said yes and then proceeded to berate me for drinking it all while pregnant and said her friend had a baby and this baby has some syndrome and the mom attributes the congenital syndrome to drinking diet coke during her pregnancy. She told me that I should not under any circumstances drink that "poison."
Now, I should say that 1. This is my 3rd child- 2. I've had 1 diet coke a day with the other 2 children 3. My OB knows this and says its fine.
So I calmly look at the lady and said "well I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's baby. I'm sure that's difficult for her. But my OB knows that I'm drinking diet coke and said I can have 1 a day. She has no problem with it.
The lady then starts telling me that my OB is wrong and that she is a "quack" and that I should not under any circumstances be drinking it and that I must want my child to have this syndrome. And that I shouldn't come crying to her (who is still unknown to me) if my baby has this syndrome.
By this point in time, I'm getting really angry- REALLY ANGRY. I looked at her and told her that I appreciated her opinion but I'd be taking medical advice from someone who completed medical school, did extra residency for obstetrics and gynecology, belongs to ACOG, and is a physician over someone that I met in Walmart. And assured her again that my diet coke drinking was not a concern for my registered and state board approved OB.
The funniest part of the whole thing is my mom was standing there with me and when this lady started up, my mom calmly walked away because she knew the sh!t was about to hit the fan.
After I said all of that the lady stomped off saying "fine, well whatever you think." Who the F does that? Who walks up to random complete strangers and berates them on the contents of their grocery cart?!?!?
After I said all of that the lady stomped off saying "fine, well whatever you think." Who the F does that? Who walks up to random complete strangers and berates them on the contents of their grocery cart?!?!?
Miserable people. Miserable, unhappy people do that. Unreal.
@phoebecar Oh my gosh, there would have been a LinziLoo hillbilly brawl at the Walmart had I spoken to that woman! What an idiot, and seriously how rude. I really don't get people who think you want their unsolicited opinion on your body.
Whenever I worry about the havoc I'm wrecking on DD2, I think about how my mom was pregnant in the 80's with me and all the crap she did then. She had at least one soda a day with me, and I'm...well relatively...normal. No seriously, caffeine, painting the house with very fumy unsafe paints, and I'm sure she ate deli meat and everything that makes today's "don't do it" list. Yes, anything in excess may be harmful to the baby...even just a tiny bit of meth But where do you get off judging how I manage to cope through 9 months of physical hell?! <end rant>
phoebecar I'm so sorry! But do you know how bad for you diet coke is? haha just kidding! My mom drank like a 6 pack a day of diet cokes when I was in utero (still does) and I am fine. That woman needs to get a grip and mind her business. I'm sure you get better nutrition than 90% of pregnant women in the world.
Me: 38, DH: 36 Married Jan 2008 DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" so in love Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
A nurse said to me, "You're huge." Yeah, she used the word HUGE. I smiled and said, "Haha, I know." But I wanted to punch her in the face!
**Stuck in Box** The first time I read that I read that she wrote it in your chart and I was like what? It's still really bad though. There is a woman on my floor at work that weighs 400 lbs and likes to tell me how big I'm getting. Dude I'm 1/3 your size. People love to judge. But yours is so much worse because this is supposed to be a care provider. Creepy internet hugs!!!
Me: 38, DH: 36 Married Jan 2008 DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" so in love Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
Thanks y'all! I swear I never thought I would be one of those pregnant women who have these types encounters! I was stunned. STUNNED. I would never, in a million years, walk up to someone and question what is in their cart. I swear though, I feel like I could write a book about it now!!!!
I'm on baby #3 and I've drank 1 diet coke a day with all 3 of them (sometimes 2 if my DS keeps me up at night and I have to function at work the next day)!
@slartybartfast- I totally spit out my diet coke on that response! I too often think of things to say like that after the fact, but I wish I had come up with it right then. I would have LOVED to see her face!
Re: What NOT to say to a pregnant woman
There is definitely that stigma, too, with diabetes that someone "did that to him/herself." No way. I don't care what type of diabetes you have (gestational, Type 1, 2, or 1.5). That's an idiotic thing to think/say!
Everyone has known we were planning to wait a few years after we got married to have a baby, it has been discussed with DH's husband many many times (they didn't want to wait and were very pushy.) We have been married 5 years. When DH called to tell his oldest sister we are having a baby, her response... is that a good or a bad thing? Really, it's not like we ever said we didn't want to have children!
Apparently a lot of my distant family thought we just didn't want kids... since we waited five years, apparently not getting pregnant as soon as you get married just means you outright don't want them. So we have gotten a lot of comments about that.
I had a few cousins tell me "I thought you couldn't have kids." It took extensive fertility treatment for this and these are people that I never told about any of my health issues, so clearly we have a gossiping problem!
MIL asked me at dinner with the whole family the other day, "are you planning to pump?" I have never been that open with her as far as my bodily functions but apparently it is appropriate to ask people about their fluids excreting their bodies at the dinner table as long as you are pregnant. We have never even discussed if I would be breastfeeding or not.
Also, why does everyone feel the need to tell you their birthing experiences as soon as they see a belly? I mean I love hearing stories, but certain people that we just don't have that relationship, we don't become best friends just because you have been pregnant and I am pregnant
Oh you're 2 weeks late. Are you dilating yet? Are you effaced?
Yes, random coworker, I really do want to tell you all about my cervix. Um no.
And then I yelled a big internal "suck it" to all of the naysayers because DD was born exactly on her due date.
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
Yea with DD1, everyone insisted she would definitely be late, but she came right on her due date. This time I've just started telling people that whether or not I'm in labor, I'm going to start pushing about 6 days before she's due to ensure she comes out before the new year. Mama needs a tax deduction, baby!
I'm finding that the more uncomfortable I make it for them, the less they want to talk to me...
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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Due December 27th with baby #7
Haha
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
My first I was induced 3 days before due date because pre e. Everyone told me I'd go super late because it was my first...my body decided otherwise. DD probably would have stayed put if allowed though.
I keep being told this one will go late...even though I'm having a RCS at least a week prior. No one cares...they still say I'll go late. Logic is missing from some people....
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Each baby will do whatever they want, regardless of annoying coworkers or MILs predictions!
Even my own mom keeps saying that Lucas could be born on my step dads birthday, Dec. 14th. But my due date is the 10th, and I keep telling her that repeat c-sections are scheduled 1 week before the due date. So around the 4th is more like it. But does she listen? No
So I was in Walmart (and I should just stop there) and had a 12 pack of diet coke in my cart. I'm in the soup aisle and a lady literally stops me (with my back turned to her searching for soup) and asks if I'm pregnant. Why, yes, yes I am. Then she proceeds to ask me if I'm going to "drink that," and by "that" I'm assuming she means my diet coke.
I asked her if she meant my diet coke. She said yes and then proceeded to berate me for drinking it all while pregnant and said her friend had a baby and this baby has some syndrome and the mom attributes the congenital syndrome to drinking diet coke during her pregnancy. She told me that I should not under any circumstances drink that "poison."
Now, I should say that 1. This is my 3rd child- 2. I've had 1 diet coke a day with the other 2 children 3. My OB knows this and says its fine.
So I calmly look at the lady and said "well I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's baby. I'm sure that's difficult for her. But my OB knows that I'm drinking diet coke and said I can have 1 a day. She has no problem with it.
The lady then starts telling me that my OB is wrong and that she is a "quack" and that I should not under any circumstances be drinking it and that I must want my child to have this syndrome. And that I shouldn't come crying to her (who is still unknown to me) if my baby has this syndrome.
By this point in time, I'm getting really angry- REALLY ANGRY. I looked at her and told her that I appreciated her opinion but I'd be taking medical advice from someone who completed medical school, did extra residency for obstetrics and gynecology, belongs to ACOG, and is a physician over someone that I met in Walmart. And assured her again that my diet coke drinking was not a concern for my registered and state board approved OB.
The funniest part of the whole thing is my mom was standing there with me and when this lady started up, my mom calmly walked away because she knew the sh!t was about to hit the fan.
After I said all of that the lady stomped off saying "fine, well whatever you think." Who the F does that? Who walks up to random complete strangers and berates them on the contents of their grocery cart?!?!?
@phoebecar Oh my gosh, there would have been a LinziLoo hillbilly brawl at the Walmart had I spoken to that woman! What an idiot, and seriously how rude. I really don't get people who think you want their unsolicited opinion on your body.
Whenever I worry about the havoc I'm wrecking on DD2, I think about how my mom was pregnant in the 80's with me and all the crap she did then. She had at least one soda a day with me, and I'm...well relatively...normal. No seriously, caffeine, painting the house with very fumy unsafe paints, and I'm sure she ate deli meat and everything that makes today's "don't do it" list. Yes, anything in excess may be harmful to the baby...even just a tiny bit of meth
But where do you get off judging how I manage to cope through 9 months of physical hell?! <end rant>
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
Right?! I think I was so surprised she said it that I didn't have time to react.
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
Thanks y'all! I swear I never thought I would be one of those pregnant women who have these types encounters! I was stunned. STUNNED. I would never, in a million years, walk up to someone and question what is in their cart. I swear though, I feel like I could write a book about it now!!!!
I'm on baby #3 and I've drank 1 diet coke a day with all 3 of them (sometimes 2 if my DS keeps me up at night and I have to function at work the next day)!
@slartybartfast- I totally spit out my diet coke on that response! I too often think of things to say like that after the fact, but I wish I had come up with it right then. I would have LOVED to see her face!