@penelope4612 wow what an idiot. This was the only pregnancy related thought that popped in her brain? I haven't gotten too much stupid this time. Or maybe I have just heard it all by now. At least they aren't using the "just you wait" line. I've had two, I already know. Actually most people just ask what I'm having and how I am feeling. Then I launch into a scientific lecture on PGP and SPD and they regret asking.
@ashleaf2018, @dmontgo, @penelope1019, if there were an award for having to be subjected to the worst thing to say to a pregnant woman, I think you'd all win. Seriously WTF were each of them thinking.
As for me, the most offputting comments I've had thus far were:
1) "Was it planned?", has been a common refrain this pregnancy. Admittedly, this is my third pregnancy in five years, but still.
2) "You can't do anything right!" in reference to my third boy pregnancy. It was meant in a joking way as most people assume we really, really wanted a girl and only tried for a third for this reason.
3) I have a twin, and was referred to as "the fat one" at our last family gathering...it didn't really bother me, but my sister was horrified for me and jumped all over them, LOL.
The worst comments I've gotten so far are about my age - yes, i can do basic math and realize that since I'm currently 37, that means i'll be raising a teenage girl starting at 50.
oh, and an awkward moment with my male boss who practically insisted that i talk to him about my birth plans and who i will and won't want in the delivery room - um, you're not invited! end of conversation.
I haven't had too many crazy comments but I'm sure that'll change as I get bigger. I feel as long as I know the person I can take the stupidity with a grain of salt. But I'm getting kind of tired hearing all the "you're carrying low so it must be a...." or any of the old wives tales. You have a 50% chance that your random superstition will be right, I won't be impressed.
Also, I was walking around at a baseball game yesterday and my friend overheard a random man that was walking past us say "I can tell you that you're definitely having a girl" while pointing at my belly. Really dude? Are you psychic or something? And why do you feel the need to even spurt that out while walking past a stranger? PEOPLE NEED TO STOP COMMENTING ON MY BODY.....so odd.
Me: 39 DH: 36 Married: Sept 2018 DS: December 2016 #2 EDD Feb 2020
I'm tired of people assuming that because I already have a boy that this baby needs to be a girl so I can be done having children with one of each. We are done after this baby, yes, and I would love a girl, but would my family be wrong if I had two boys? No. STFU.
@ehoreni ughh, age comments. I've gotten many comments but from the opposite end of the spectrum, "You're so young, why would you do that to yourself?!". This is mostly from people at work because most of my coworkers have all had kids in their 30s or 40s (I'm 25). Additionally, the only other people in my group that are close in age are a couple of single guys that still party every weekend so I think they try and lump me in with that. If I'm mature, married, and my husband and I are ready for that commitment then who the hell cares??
Me: 26 & DH: 25
Married: August 2014 TTC since November 2015 BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16 BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
OK, I don't get a chance to post on here a lot (though I love reading) but I had a great one today!
I was in IKEA when a patron I know from the library (she has a child in a daycare comes in for story time) saw me and started going on and on about how I should make sure to breastfeed because her child NEVER got sick, an earache, had a poopsplosion, etc. because she refused to give her any formula. I tried to back out gracefully by just saying "Well, we'll see if it works out," but she doubled down about how you just have to power through even if it's really hard and it hurts because breast is best and it's better for their brains and on and on!
Lady, I'm in IKEA! I just want to get my curtain rods and go, can we not talk about my breasts or how I plan to feed my kid? And by the way, what if I can't breastfeed and your little soapbox spiel makes me feel awful for poisoning my baby with evil formula? People need to think before they spout off about parenting choices. End of rant!
You guys have had some awful interactions!! I'm really grateful for this thread though, because it comforts me to know I'm not alone in the inappropriate weight comments (sorry for taking pleasure in your pain, lol).
I was eating a vegan diet before getting pregnant, but have added back in dairy and seafood, and I'm really sick of having inquires into my protein intake. Yes, I am fully aware of how much I need to get, yes, I try my best to get enough, please keep your eyes on your own plate!
Other than that, both sides of the family are bugging us about names. We've already told them we aren't going to know for sure until we meet her, why is it such a big deal? Some people ask every single time we speak to them...it's getting really old.
@Kate87 I really hate the pressure that comes with breastfeeding in general. Similar to my birth wishes on that thread, in parenting my strategy is "to keep this thing alive at all costs." And you do what you have to do to make that happen. Breastfeeding doesn't work physically for some women, and logistically with work it doesn't work for others. It's so unnecessary to guilt someone's decision in that regard. I mean, we should all be educated about feeding options, but that's what they are...options.
With DD I originally wasn't planning on breastfeeding. I work in a field that, unfortunately, is pretty scathing to anyone having a baby, not to mention to someone having to continue to take breaks to pump throughout the day. I just didn't think I'd be able to keep up pumping enough with my work schedule. My first midwife (who was quickly fired for this among other issues) proceeded to lecture me on how if I "really wanted the best" for my baby (yea, actual quote), then I would breastfeed. Wow...way to qualify my love there. Maybe it's best for my kid to have a mom who continues to win the bread for the family financially?! It's just such a one-dimensional perspective on a complex topic.
Ultimately I did end up breastfeeding DD for 14 months - though we supplemented when needed. And I am a staunch advocate for not guilting women about this decision, because it isn't an actual decision for so many.
The "you look so big" comments have just started this week from various people at work. Yeah, thanks... I guess.
Five years ago I lost a hundred pounds and people would make similarly inappropriate comments. I could be wrong but I think any fast physical change to yourself must be the similar link to people thinking it's ok to bring it up and give advice. It isn't. :-P
Just 2 weeks ago people at work were saying how they didn't know I was pregnant and how i'm not showing at all, and then this past week I keep getting the "omg must be twins!" and "you're so big!" comments. I said "well I'm 7 months along sooooo...." What did they expect? So 2 weeks ago I wasn't pregnant and now i'm carrying 2?
Met DH - 9/2003
Dating - 9/18/2012
Married - 8/16/2014
NTNP - 7/2014-5/2015
TTC #1 - 5/2015 (CP October @ 4w2d)
*PCOS/Hypothyroid/Ectopic Kidney/High DHEA-S* HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!) CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors! SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016 Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799 EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
What has been bugging me the most is people telling me all about their pregnancy experiences as if I really wanted to know. If I wanted to know I would ask, thank you very much. Every pregnancy is different, I don't need to hear your horror stories, I'm scared enough as it is.
Another thing that bugged me was that my FI's family assumed, when we told them I was pregnant, that we had we gotten engaged because I was pregnant. Um...we got engaged in October of last year. His aunt works at a jewelry store and helped him with the ring. I'm due this December. So, unless gestation now takes human women 14 months or longer, no, we got engaged well before we got pregnant.
And I completely understand the frustration with the names questions. Both sides keep asking me, leaving random texts with names, or offering suggestions without asking us what type of name we are looking for. Sorry no, we don't want to name this kid by committee. If you liked that name, you should have named your kid that. Or save it for when you have a kid yourself. We will tell you the name when we picked one and she is named at birth.
I was working on a quilt for this kiddo and DH comes in, picks up the cloth tape measure, and says "I wonder how big your belly is, can I measure?". Really?
People are the worst and the Bump just ate my post! Here we go again...
I've gotten a lot of people telling me I'm so big, with one person, god bless, telling me I didn't look that pregnant.
Someone told me they knew of a person who was paralyzed from an epidural and that she would rather go through the pain than risk that. Then she gave me judgy side-eye!
Also heard at work: Your boobs look huge! You're having a boy. (Wrong!) You've really popped! Just you wait until... You look awful/sick/tired (first trimester) You'll never get sleep again Was it planned? You can't lift this/do that/help with this because you're pregnant I know you had trouble trying (WTF? How would you presume to know that??) What's your birth plan? Have you read any parenting books yet? You should read... How's your husband handling this? Are you still having sex?
Hmm...I'm angrier now that I've written them all down. Time for my chocolate milk night cap.
I have been getting too many comments about how small I am. At church the other night, a woman (trying to joke) looked at my belly with disgust and said "WHERE is it AT?!" If I hadn't been about to pee in my pants, I would have stopped to correct her grammar. I did take time to invite her to my next appointment where she can witness my weight gain with her own eyes.
Also the "I'm bigger than you and I'm not pregnant!" comments. I'm sorry, that seems like a personal problem.
The funniest annoying thing is my MIL and isn't even a comment. She side eyes the crap out of my belly. I think she doesn't want to stare but she wants to se if it's growing. I'm tempted to just lift my shirt and flash my big ole pale belly and say "TAKE A LOOK" hahaha
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
This was coming from my best friend (and in her defense, she has autism so she doesn't really understand when she says something upsetting). I told her how fearful I was about the labor and delivery and she immediately responded with "oh yes, it's pretty scary, my aunt just gave birth and nearly bled to death and the baby came out as a stillborn." Thanks.
@beff12 - I'm dying at "sorry, that seems like a personal problem"
@DumbledoresArmy - that's awful and if your friend really has autism I wonder if it might be helpful if you told her that it's not helpful to tell pregnant women things like that. As you said, she is probably not trying to be offensive or inconsiderate so the feedback might be helpful.
@Kate87 I really hate the pressure that comes with breastfeeding in general. Similar to my birth wishes on that thread, in parenting my strategy is "to keep this thing alive at all costs." And you do what you have to do to make that happen. Breastfeeding doesn't work physically for some women, and logistically with work it doesn't work for others. It's so unnecessary to guilt someone's decision in that regard. I mean, we should all be educated about feeding options, but that's what they are...options.
With DD I originally wasn't planning on breastfeeding. I work in a field that, unfortunately, is pretty scathing to anyone having a baby, not to mention to someone having to continue to take breaks to pump throughout the day. I just didn't think I'd be able to keep up pumping enough with my work schedule. My first midwife (who was quickly fired for this among other issues) proceeded to lecture me on how if I "really wanted the best" for my baby (yea, actual quote), then I would breastfeed. Wow...way to qualify my love there. Maybe it's best for my kid to have a mom who continues to win the bread for the family financially?! It's just such a one-dimensional perspective on a complex topic.
Ultimately I did end up breastfeeding DD for 14 months - though we supplemented when needed. And I am a staunch advocate for not guilting women about this decision, because it isn't an actual decision for so many.
@LinziLoo09 I can't believe your midwife said that to you, and totally agree that she clearly was not a great partner for you! I feel exactly the same way: whatever it takes to keep the kid alive is what I'm aiming for. I do actually want to breastfeed, but I know that some women either can't, choose not to, or want to but work in fields where it's simply not possible, and no one should be shamed or judged for how they keep their baby alive!
I talked to my mom about it this morning and her POV was "well she was just trying to connect with you as a mom and talk about her experience! It's a beautiful community thing! Why do you take offense at a woman sharing something she's passionate about?" which I disagree with strongly, but then again, my mom thinks it's totally cool to touch a total stranger's baby bump and I... don't. To put it mildly. Sharing your experience and insisting that everyone else do as you do are completely different things! This woman probably was coming from a loving place, but that doesn't mean it's OK to shame choices that are different from hers. Anyway, thank you for understanding because after talking to my mom I thought maybe I was the crazy one!
Oh goodness, some people need a muzzle. I could write a book. My favorite is always when my dh and I are out alone we undoubtedly get asked "is this your first?" Then I say "nope" and most of the time they say "What is this (or how many children do you have)?" And I get to say "7th" I both hate and love the responses... Blank stares, "what???", "how do you look so good for having 7 kids?", "don't you know what causes that?", "You need a hobby." We get it all!
Honestly, there are only two things to say to an expectant mama... #1 - You look beautiful! #2 - I'm so happy for you, what a wonderful thing!
beff12 said: The funniest annoying thing is my MIL and isn't even a comment. She side eyes the crap out of my belly. I think she doesn't want to stare but she wants to se if it's growing. I'm tempted to just lift my shirt and flash my big ole pale belly and say "TAKE A LOOK" hahaha
Amen to this! I get side eyed a lot and especially by family. I know they just want to see how much the little one is growing. What's the best is that it's always when they're in conversation with me. Just wait until we're not talking or I'm looking the other way. It's just like if you're talking with someone and their eyes keep darting to a large pimple, food on your face, boob cleavage or whatever it may be - it's obvious!
Oh goodness, some people need a muzzle. I could write a book. My favorite is always when my dh and I are out alone we undoubtedly get asked "is this your first?" Then I say "nope" and most of the time they say "What is this (or how many children do you have)?" And I get to say "7th" I both hate and love the responses... Blank stares, "what???", "how do you look so good for having 7 kids?", "don't you know what causes that?", "You need a hobby." We get it all!
Honestly, there are only two things to say to an expectant mama... #1 - You look beautiful! #2 - I'm so happy for you, what a wonderful thing!
See, I could do without hearing #1&2. I just want to hear #3 Do you prefer milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
Oh my, I just spent lots of time reading through all these and being horrified by the comments yet thoroughly amused by all of your responses to them.
My SIL was utterly SHOCKED when we told her we were pregnant because, last she knew, we told her we did not want kids. Um, okay. First of all, it's not like we had told her this yesterday; rather, we probably mentioned that 5 years ago, when we were just dating and were not ready for that commitment. I guess I'm supposed to keep everyone in the family updated on a daily basis on our family planning progress?
The truth is, my husband and I have been talking about having a LO for a while, and we had decided that we were going to hold off and wait until we were ready (job situations, needing to purchase a home, etc.). How is that anyone's business but mine and my husband's? And when we start trying to conceive, we're supposed to light firecrackers inside all the condoms, call everyone in the family immediately, and parade through the streets announcing it with a mega phone? So stupid. That's between me and my husband and nobody else, dummy.
Yes @silverfrost! Except replace your SIL with my 16 year old step-daughter. She was posed when DH told her we were expecting. At one point she actually told him that "nobody asked for her opinion". Ummm...newsflash sweetheart...your dad and I don't need your approval nor done care about your opinion. In fact, we waited as long as we did (together 10 years, married for 3 ½) so as not to completely turn your world upside down in middle school. Oye.
We visited FI's grandparents yesterday... FI's 85 yo grandmother said, "Hello, pregnant!" as soon as I walked in the door, and proceeded to spend the entire visit trying to find out when we would be in the hospital to have the baby and whether or not I would be breastfeeding. I've never been so thankful for a wave of nausea in my life, we didn't end up staying too long.
I've had a lot of people say how great I look for being 6 month pregnant and all. The only creepy encounter I've had is with my parents' neighbor. I've never been comfortable around this guy and can only take so much of him (he likes his drinks, and once he's had a few he gets creepy). My mom suggested I go over to visit the wife, since they are good friends and she's been asking after me. We had a nice chat, but the husband (glass # who knows of wine in hand) kept commenting on how great I looked. Every other comment was You look great, or Doesn't she look amazing? Politeness had me staying and chatting for 10-15 minutes, but I was finally able to make my excuses and get out. He ended up walking me to my parents house, too, so it was another excruciating 2 minutes with him. Only truly awful experience I've had so far. When I was up north for my business trip my boss and counterpart commented I'd gotten bigger since I arrived, but it wasn't until I took my 26 week photo and compared it to my 25 week photo I realized they were right. I had popped. I blame the amazing food up there, or maybe Squish had a growth spurt. Who knows, but I really can't consider that rude since they were 100% on point.
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
I got the first comment today that actually pissed me off, I feel like I've been pretty lucky so far.
But there's another vendor at my farmers market who has already said some slightly annoying things (like "I really don't envy you" when I told her how long I had to go, etc.). Today she was telling me that a friend of hers gained 100 lbs in pregnancy and was diabetic by the end of it, and she was being pretty judgy about it, like "I couldn't believe she would do that to herself". I just failed my 1 hour glucose test, so I pointed out that I might be diabetic too, that it's not necessarily tied to weight gain in pregnancy. I felt like standing up for her friend. So she says "Oh, yeah, you do look bloated."
WTF? First, that has nothing to do with anything, second it's rude, and third, I actually don't - I'm definitely getting big, and I was certainly bloated in earlier stages, but not so much these days.
The only words that should follow "You look..." are "great", "radiant", "glowing", or "like you're creating a mf-ing human being like the badass you are". I can't understand why people can't self-sensor better.
My stepMIL made it a point to tell me that I should eat more protein instead of rice and fruit salad at the Chinese buffet today. The first time I was like, yeah ok, whatever, but she said it like 3 more times, then criticized that I had a scoop of ice cream, saying that I would have a sugar rush later.
First of all, she has never had kids so what does she know about anything. My docs told me I could eat whatever I want. Second of all, she is the *last* person who should be giving dietary advice in the first place.
It is pretty tame compared to some of the horror stories here, but man it really rubbed me the wrong way and put me in a sour mood. Blah!
I'm a professional French horn player, and I had a woman tell me how "AWFUL" it was that I was continuing to play my horn while pregnant (because I was damaging baby's ears). Yeah, because we all are totally able to just quit our jobs while pregnant for 9 whole months. (And because babies of instrumental musicians come out of the womb deaf). Not. Butt out lady. This same lady also told me I should not, under ANY circumstances, fly on a plane to my various gigs while pregnant. Or immunize my baby after she's born. I pretend that I have to go to the bathroom whenever I'm around this person now.
Re: What NOT to say to a pregnant woman
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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I haven't gotten too much stupid this time. Or maybe I have just heard it all by now. At least they aren't using the "just you wait" line. I've had two, I already know. Actually most people just ask what I'm having and how I am feeling. Then I launch into a scientific lecture on PGP and SPD and they regret asking.
My Wedding Bio!
Me:27 H:30
Till death do us part: 7.2.2011
Trying to conceive since 01.2014
Low AFC and azoospermia
IVF #1 03.2016 - BFP 03.28.2016
Due: 12.05.2016
As for me, the most offputting comments I've had thus far were:
1) "Was it planned?", has been a common refrain this pregnancy. Admittedly, this is my third pregnancy in five years, but still.
2) "You can't do anything right!" in reference to my third boy pregnancy. It was meant in a joking way as most people assume we really, really wanted a girl and only tried for a third for this reason.
3) I have a twin, and was referred to as "the fat one" at our last family gathering...it didn't really bother me, but my sister was horrified for me and jumped all over them, LOL.
DH: 36⎹ Me: 36
BFP#1 & MC:August 2015 BFP: #2 10/01/2015 MC: 10/09/2015 BFP #3: 12/22/2015 @ 5 weeks MC/CP: 12-23-2015
Fertility Appointment: Feb 23/16, Hysteroscopy 03/02/2016,
BFP #4: 03/31/16 EDD 12/01/2016
The worst comments I've gotten so far are about my age - yes, i can do basic math and realize that since I'm currently 37, that means i'll be raising a teenage girl starting at 50.
oh, and an awkward moment with my male boss who practically insisted that i talk to him about my birth plans and who i will and won't want in the delivery room - um, you're not invited! end of conversation.
Also, I was walking around at a baseball game yesterday and my friend overheard a random man that was walking past us say "I can tell you that you're definitely having a girl" while pointing at my belly. Really dude? Are you psychic or something? And why do you feel the need to even spurt that out while walking past a stranger? PEOPLE NEED TO STOP COMMENTING ON MY BODY.....so odd.
Me: 39 DH: 36
Married: Sept 2018
DS: December 2016
#2 EDD Feb 2020
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
I was in IKEA when a patron I know from the library (she has a child in a daycare comes in for story time) saw me and started going on and on about how I should make sure to breastfeed because her child NEVER got sick, an earache, had a poopsplosion, etc. because she refused to give her any formula. I tried to back out gracefully by just saying "Well, we'll see if it works out," but she doubled down about how you just have to power through even if it's really hard and it hurts because breast is best and it's better for their brains and on and on!
Lady, I'm in IKEA! I just want to get my curtain rods and go, can we not talk about my breasts or how I plan to feed my kid? And by the way, what if I can't breastfeed and your little soapbox spiel makes me feel awful for poisoning my baby with evil formula? People need to think before they spout off about parenting choices. End of rant!
I was eating a vegan diet before getting pregnant, but have added back in dairy and seafood, and I'm really sick of having inquires into my protein intake. Yes, I am fully aware of how much I need to get, yes, I try my best to get enough, please keep your eyes on your own plate!
Other than that, both sides of the family are bugging us about names. We've already told them we aren't going to know for sure until we meet her, why is it such a big deal? Some people ask every single time we speak to them...it's getting really old.
@Kate87 I really hate the pressure that comes with breastfeeding in general. Similar to my birth wishes on that thread, in parenting my strategy is "to keep this thing alive at all costs." And you do what you have to do to make that happen. Breastfeeding doesn't work physically for some women, and logistically with work it doesn't work for others. It's so unnecessary to guilt someone's decision in that regard. I mean, we should all be educated about feeding options, but that's what they are...options.
With DD I originally wasn't planning on breastfeeding. I work in a field that, unfortunately, is pretty scathing to anyone having a baby, not to mention to someone having to continue to take breaks to pump throughout the day. I just didn't think I'd be able to keep up pumping enough with my work schedule. My first midwife (who was quickly fired for this among other issues) proceeded to lecture me on how if I "really wanted the best" for my baby (yea, actual quote), then I would breastfeed. Wow...way to qualify my love there. Maybe it's best for my kid to have a mom who continues to win the bread for the family financially?! It's just such a one-dimensional perspective on a complex topic.
Ultimately I did end up breastfeeding DD for 14 months - though we supplemented when needed. And I am a staunch advocate for not guilting women about this decision, because it isn't an actual decision for so many.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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Five years ago I lost a hundred pounds and people would make similarly inappropriate comments. I could be wrong but I think any fast physical change to yourself must be the similar link to people thinking it's ok to bring it up and give advice. It isn't. :-P
HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!)
CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors!
SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology
March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016
Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799
EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
*TEAM BLUE!*
What has been bugging me the most is people telling me all about their pregnancy experiences as if I really wanted to know. If I wanted to know I would ask, thank you very much. Every pregnancy is different, I don't need to hear your horror stories, I'm scared enough as it is.
Another thing that bugged me was that my FI's family assumed, when we told them I was pregnant, that we had we gotten engaged because I was pregnant. Um...we got engaged in October of last year. His aunt works at a jewelry store and helped him with the ring. I'm due this December. So, unless gestation now takes human women 14 months or longer, no, we got engaged well before we got pregnant.
And I completely understand the frustration with the names questions. Both sides keep asking me, leaving random texts with names, or offering suggestions without asking us what type of name we are looking for. Sorry no, we don't want to name this kid by committee. If you liked that name, you should have named your kid that. Or save it for when you have a kid yourself. We will tell you the name when we picked one and she is named at birth.
I've gotten a lot of people telling me I'm so big, with one person, god bless, telling me I didn't look that pregnant.
Someone told me they knew of a person who was paralyzed from an epidural and that she would rather go through the pain than risk that. Then she gave me judgy side-eye!
Also heard at work:
Your boobs look huge!
You're having a boy. (Wrong!)
You've really popped!
Just you wait until...
You look awful/sick/tired (first trimester)
You'll never get sleep again
Was it planned?
You can't lift this/do that/help with this because you're pregnant
I know you had trouble trying (WTF? How would you presume to know that??)
What's your birth plan?
Have you read any parenting books yet? You should read...
How's your husband handling this?
Are you still having sex?
Hmm...I'm angrier now that I've written them all down. Time for my chocolate milk night cap.
Also the "I'm bigger than you and I'm not pregnant!" comments. I'm sorry, that seems like a personal problem.
The funniest annoying thing is my MIL and isn't even a comment. She side eyes the crap out of my belly. I think she doesn't want to stare but she wants to se if it's growing. I'm tempted to just lift my shirt and flash my big ole pale belly and say "TAKE A LOOK" hahaha
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
This was coming from my best friend (and in her defense, she has autism so she doesn't really understand when she says something upsetting). I told her how fearful I was about the labor and delivery and she immediately responded with "oh yes, it's pretty scary, my aunt just gave birth and nearly bled to death and the baby came out as a stillborn." Thanks.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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@DumbledoresArmy - that's awful and if your friend really has autism I wonder if it might be helpful if you told her that it's not helpful to tell pregnant women things like that. As you said, she is probably not trying to be offensive or inconsiderate so the feedback might be helpful.
I can't believe your midwife said that to you, and totally agree that she clearly was not a great partner for you! I feel exactly the same way: whatever it takes to keep the kid alive is what I'm aiming for. I do actually want to breastfeed, but I know that some women either can't, choose not to, or want to but work in fields where it's simply not possible, and no one should be shamed or judged for how they keep their baby alive!
I talked to my mom about it this morning and her POV was "well she was just trying to connect with you as a mom and talk about her experience! It's a beautiful community thing! Why do you take offense at a woman sharing something she's passionate about?" which I disagree with strongly, but then again, my mom thinks it's totally cool to touch a total stranger's baby bump and I... don't. To put it mildly. Sharing your experience and insisting that everyone else do as you do are completely different things! This woman probably was coming from a loving place, but that doesn't mean it's OK to shame choices that are different from hers. Anyway, thank you for understanding because after talking to my mom I thought maybe I was the crazy one!
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
My favorite is always when my dh and I are out alone we undoubtedly get asked "is this your first?" Then I say "nope" and most of the time they say "What is this (or how many children do you have)?" And I get to say "7th" I both hate and love the responses... Blank stares, "what???", "how do you look so good for having 7 kids?", "don't you know what causes that?", "You need a hobby." We get it all!
Honestly, there are only two things to say to an expectant mama...
#1 - You look beautiful!
#2 - I'm so happy for you, what a wonderful thing!
Due December 27th with baby #7
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
haha! For sure!!!
Due December 27th with baby #7
My SIL was utterly SHOCKED when we told her we were pregnant because, last she knew, we told her we did not want kids. Um, okay. First of all, it's not like we had told her this yesterday; rather, we probably mentioned that 5 years ago, when we were just dating and were not ready for that commitment. I guess I'm supposed to keep everyone in the family updated on a daily basis on our family planning progress?
The truth is, my husband and I have been talking about having a LO for a while, and we had decided that we were going to hold off and wait until we were ready (job situations, needing to purchase a home, etc.). How is that anyone's business but mine and my husband's? And when we start trying to conceive, we're supposed to light firecrackers inside all the condoms, call everyone in the family immediately, and parade through the streets announcing it with a mega phone? So stupid. That's between me and my husband and nobody else, dummy.
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
But there's another vendor at my farmers market who has already said some slightly annoying things (like "I really don't envy you" when I told her how long I had to go, etc.). Today she was telling me that a friend of hers gained 100 lbs in pregnancy and was diabetic by the end of it, and she was being pretty judgy about it, like "I couldn't believe she would do that to herself". I just failed my 1 hour glucose test, so I pointed out that I might be diabetic too, that it's not necessarily tied to weight gain in pregnancy. I felt like standing up for her friend. So she says "Oh, yeah, you do look bloated."
WTF? First, that has nothing to do with anything, second it's rude, and third, I actually don't - I'm definitely getting big, and I was certainly bloated in earlier stages, but not so much these days.
The only words that should follow "You look..." are "great", "radiant", "glowing", or "like you're creating a mf-ing human being like the badass you are". I can't understand why people can't self-sensor better.
First of all, she has never had kids so what does she know about anything. My docs told me I could eat whatever I want. Second of all, she is the *last* person who should be giving dietary advice in the first place.
It is pretty tame compared to some of the horror stories here, but man it really rubbed me the wrong way and put me in a sour mood. Blah!
This same lady also told me I should not, under ANY circumstances, fly on a plane to my various gigs while pregnant. Or immunize my baby after she's born.
I pretend that I have to go to the bathroom whenever I'm around this person now.