I wish I'd have known..

Redpuma119 · September 2016

STMs- what do you wish you'd have known your first pregnancy? (Things no one told you, big pregnancy myths, etc) And what will you do differently this time around?

julieannburkhart · September 2016

I will definitely be more aware of pregnancy complications as I had hypertension at the end. Thankfully I didn't get pre-e, but now I know all about the dangers of it!

This will be my last pregnancy so I am going to really cherish in be very grateful for the process of growing a baby as I realize that the growth of the baby is so special and a bond that only my kids and I will ever share.

kat81 · September 2016

I had a rare (but not THAT rare, like 1 in 25 or so) pelvic disorder called symphysis pubis dysfunction that was not diagnosed until months after I had symptoms and only then by me. It was actually from the bump boards, complaining about my symptoms, that I found out what I had (confirmed by Dr. Google and then the real doctor, and then more midwives & doctors in my 2nd pregnancy.) I wish I had known about it sooner because I did do things to make it worse in pregnancy #1. Then again, my general "lets play it safe and not be active at all" strategy in pregnancy #2 made the recovery from it last super long instead of being immediate. I think I'll finally get the strategy right this time.

But in terms of something that is more likely to be relevant to you, I also wish I had known that it was possible (however unlikely) to feel kicks very early. I felt them at 14 weeks but didn't know that's what it was until it was unmistakable at 16-17 weeks. Everything people said and that I read said it was impossible for FTMs to feel anything before week 20 or so, but that's how it played out for me, and later I found out, some others as well. Ironically enough, in my 2nd pregnancy the placenta happened to develop on the other side of my uterus, so I didn't feel kicks until much later, like 18 weeks, and never got the fully defined, totally creepy movements I got with #1. I hope this one ends up being more like #1 because that was wild.

Oh and my biggest regret was not finding out more about breastfeeding before trying it. Take a class, read a book, and get every bit of help offered to you while you're in the hospital.

Luckyu317 · September 2016

This is our third, and I can say this: let go of the mom guilt. Don't listen to what everyone else tells you you "should be" doing. Do what works for you. Breastfeeding making you miserable? It's okay to switch to formula. Easier for you to have the baby sleep in a bassinet or rock n play in your room vs in their room/crib? Go for it! Do what works best for you. And trust your "mom gut".

mcvgal · September 2016

I wish I would have known about CS recovery. I planned on vaginal delivery at 9 months, but ended up with emergency CS at 7 months. Nothing can really prepare you for a preemie. Also wish I would have known the difference between normal pregnancy discharge and an infection.

Kipperoo · September 2016

Totally agreed with Luckyu317 --let go of the mom guilt as best you can. With my first, I agonized over breast feeding him. I seriously remember very little about the first 6 weeks of his life because I was SO stressed and focused on breast feeding. It was a never ending carousel of pumping, attempting to breastfeed, bottle feeding. Looking back, I wish I would have just thrown in the towel earlier OR just accepted a little bit of pumped milk as a supplement to mostly formula and enjoyed those sweet weeks. Fast forward to my totally normal 2 year old and I realize now that the formula he got did not "ruin" him. It seems to me there is an unfair push on mothers to make breastfeeding work for the sake of their children's health and well-being not only from other moms, but from the medical field, too. It's just not fair and creates a lot of guilt, especially for the moms who really wanted to do it but have little success. Maybe this belongs in an Unpopular Opinion post. :-)

psherman42wwsa · September 2016

I wish I would have known how big of a commitment and how much work breast feeding was. I had it set in my mind that I would go the full year and I made it. But man. It was a lot of work and I had a lot of struggles.

Another thing, when my first was about 5 months old I found out I had pancreatitis and had to have my gall bladder removed. Since I am young and relatively thin, they attributed it to my recent pregnancy. Apparently when your pregnant your gallbladder enlarges and fills up with "sludge" and then goes back to normal size but all the crap is stuck in there. I also had large gallstones and one was blocking the bile from being excreted. Kind of a long story but I was having terrible pain and I just kept putting it off because I thought it was back pain and heart burn. I ended up being hospitalized for 5 days, it sucked. I wish I would have saw the early signs so I could have had surgery outpatient before it escalated.

chickyclg · September 2016

I wish I would have answered the phone calls from the hospital dietician. I was so terrified that they were going to put me on a diet so I just ignored the calls. Well she tracked me down when I went on hospital bedrest and told me that I wasn't eating/gaining enough for a twin pregnancy. I actually got told that I needed milkshakes and extra butter with my meals.

Also I wish that I would have known that I wouldn't be able to feel all of my contractions, before you say lucky me, at 32 wks I thought they were 20 minutes apart but they were actually 2-3 minutes apart. I ended up spending 10 with a Mag sulfate drip, and my skin felt like it was on fire. Thankfully my kiddos waited until they were 34 weeks before deciding to come.

jdebaie · September 2016

I wish I had stuck up for myself more in the hospital. I had kind of a crazy delivery and I felt like my feelings weren't taken into account. I'm going to be more assertive this time.

Silly thing: I totally didn't know that once your water breaks it actually doesn't stop until you have the baby lol. I thought it would be one big woooosh and then over. Nope! Continually leaking until I had her.

TresGatos · September 2016

@kipperoo, definitely not an unpopular opinion with me! My milk was slow to come in so we had to feed DD formula in the hospital and once she had the bottle, she wanted nothing to do with the breast. After a week and a half of frustration, tears, clogged ducts and lactation consultant appointments, I decided to give up and it was the best decision for me. I was already struggling emotionally with adjusting with being a new mom and the pressure of breastfeeding was just too much. I'll definitely try to breastfeed this one but if it doesn't work, I won't be upset.

Frostfair · September 2016

I agree with letting go of the mom guilt. I tried to bf and couldn't and felt horrible over it. My kid is now happy and healthy even though he was fed formula exclusively. Same about taking the epidural! Those 16 hours would have been sooooo bad without. I don't regret it one bit and will take it again this time.

Also, wish I had known you could retain giant chunks of placenta (traces my a$$...). Retained a fist-sized lump, it came out at home and freaked me out. Thought my uterus was falling out and I was going to bleed out lol. This time I'm requesting an ultrasound after delivery to make sure they didn't miss anything.

Also, getting a private room for recovery after birth. At 255$ per day, it's STILL worth it! I didn't sleep AT ALL last time in a room with 3 other women and I'm not doing that again.

Finally, post-partum depression. I have had depression for going on 15 years, so I thought "I've been through it before, I know what to expect and how to deal". While that was true, it hit me like a freight train and I definitely wish I would have gone back on my meds ASAP. I will this time

Oh and one last thing. I thought i knew what being tired was before my son was born. Wish I had listened to all those people saying sleep as much as possible before the birth lol sleep is definitely a precious commodity! Those first two weeks after the birth are sooooo exhausting, but obviously worth it

Kipperoo · September 2016

Frostfair totally agreed with the sleep advice! I thought I knew how tired I would be but there is seriously no way to prepare you for it. Enjoy the sleep while you can. If you are lucky enough that your partner is taking leave for a while after the babe is born, start talking about a sleep schedule. Looking back, I wish I would have opted out/switched with my husband for like one feeding per night those first couple of weeks so that I got at least one solid 3-4 hour stretch.

march2008 · September 2016

I wish I had known about swaddling! DD was very colicky for the first 4 months and it was HARD. She cried and cried and cried and was so difficult to soothe. About 2 weeks after she was born, my friend brought over a DVD that was helpful for him and his wife. It explained Harvey Karp's "5 S's" and it was a SANITY SAVER! I highly recommend at least familiarizing yourself with the 5 S's and maybe you'll never need them.....but it helps to have tricks up your sleeve when dealing with random fussiness in the wee hours of the night!

MrsN092714 · September 2016

I went into labour with a what happens happens birth plan but really wasn't expecting g a c section and ended up one. I wish I would have looked more into c sections prior to and had a better idea of what I wanted out of one. I saw my son for a few mins in the OR and then not for over an hour which I still hate. I feel like if I would have gone in with a better back up plan for a c section I would have been able to voice my wants and my experience wouldn't have such a dark cloud looming over it.

TNChick · September 2016

With my first, I was so clueless. I never realized exactly how much work a newborn was or what "tired" really meant. BUT, with my second, I knew so much more, and she was an "easier" baby because of it. So I am hoping experience makes this a breeze.
What I do know? 1) Take turns with your partner if possible with night feeding. It is nearly impossible to do alone. 2) Roughly 90% of the stuff you buy for the baby is unnecessary. 3) A good baby carrier makes for a MUCH happier baby and mama. 4) If they fuss a little bit, it is a-okay. You don't have to quiet every noise. 5) You will set up the nursery and not touch it for months because you won't be able to fathom putting that little helpless baby out of your sight. 6) Babies are fun, but the real work comes at around 2 and up. Read parenting books. Fill your parenting tool box (I suggest LR Knost, Love and Logic, and Peaceful Parenting). I am a school counselor and also teach parenting classes, and I see so many parents who wanted a baby but never thought much about what it takes to actually raise one. 7) It is all going to be all right

vrj0522 · September 2016

I wish I would've enjoyed my first pregnancy more, especially at the end! Pregnancy can be pretty unpleasant and yet, having a newborn is so much harder!!! I would say, enjoy pregnancy as much as you can and don't be too rushed to that baby to come out... they will come out soon enough!

BriannaH333 · September 2016

I would agree about breastfeeding. I spent the whole pregnancy worrying that I'd killed the baby somehow in some new way before each check up and a lot on delivery sans medication. I worried about postpartum recovery as friends had horror stories and not enough on what to do with a freaking newborn. Recovery was embarrassingly easy, but realizing you're only a milk machine for this needy little thing really sank me to my depths for the first few months. I'm still going to bf my second but I at least know how scary dark I can get and to clear my work schedule for at least the first two months to really try to enjoy it this time (I'm self employed.)

lildropofheavn23 · September 2016

I wish I knew how exhausting it would be. People always said "catch up on sleep now" and I would laugh, but nobody really sat me down and "this will be miserable." The first 2-4 weeks of her life was a whirlwind of nursing, crying, and sleeplessness. I was terrified when she slept because of the the fear of SIDS or that if I stopped watching that she'd stop breathing. Once I learned that she was okay to sleep without my staring, I started to relax a little. Nursing got easier (and we're actually still nursing at 17 months) who knew that I would end up loving it? I wish I knew how quickly the time would fly. I look at my LO and can't believe how big she is now. I don't want to take the time for granted.

Junemonkey · September 2016

I wish I knew how important it was to have a good support system including physician and hospital. I had 2 very different outcomes to my hospital experience, despite having the same issue both times. It made all the difference in the world that delivering my 2nd. I got stuck at 2 cm with both my kids... first kid they said "c section, you aren't going anywhere", second kid with a new team to help me along did everything they could to help me along, and then a nurse noticed scar tissue on my cervix... and I got my VBAC. It really meant a lot to me when the doctors and midwives all kept popping in to encourage me a little more, especially when they knew I was getting discouraged.

Also, I wish someone had told me that if I didn't want my in laws to come to the hospital to see their grand baby born it is OK. It is my baby and birth not theirs.

Frostfair · September 2016

@lildropofheavn23 this! We wasted sooooo much sleep because of an irrational fear of SIDS! This time around we will hopefully be more sane about it. And yeah, the 'this will be miserable' talk I would have greatly benefitted from lol

pshaortao · September 2016

I wish I had better prepared myself for post birth. Being pregnant was easy and hopefully it will be again. People kept telling me I needed to sit down and relax but I was fine all the way to the end, and I ended up thinking I would be fine after the birth too. I was wrong. Post birth recovery was hard. I was so tired and weak and it took me a couple weeks before I could walk around feeling out of breath. And having to wake every 3 hours and trying to establish a good nursing relationship (I cried more than she did as a result), I was also exhausted. I wish I had prepared freezer meals and asked for more help. This time I will definitely prep a bunch of freezer meals to last hopefully a month.

ChristinaWild · September 2016

Not so much with the first pregnancy, but for afterwards - I wish I would have known more about tongue tie. Our little guy was examined in the hospital before we left, and told everything was fine. After two months of non stop screaming (and I do mean nonstop - by both him and me!), I had him evaluated again by a lactation consultant our ped recommended. She said he had "a slight tongue tie, but that nothing needed to be done about it". After another month and countless hours online reading up on it, I took him to an ENT who diagnosed him with both a severe tongue and lip tie. We had them fixed that day, and the change was unbelievable. It took some time to get him to learn how to latch correctly, but the screaming stopped (turned out he was getting air into his stomach and suffering from severe gas pain). I swear, it was like having a new child.

Baby #2 will be seeing the ENT pretty soon after being born!

Yiggle09 · September 2016

@Kipperoo I agree completely- the stress of trying to make bf work/ pump i barely remember my son I barely held him. I was miserable with the pain of it had the wrong flange size, he wouldnt open up wide enough no matter what I did. He would push away from me and scream and I felt like the worst person in the world. This next time around I will attempt it and if bf doesnt work I will immediately go to EP which I did for 7 months with the last little guy.
@lrwardrop I had the exact same thing happen. I started waking up about 7 mpp with extreme pain across my abdomen and back. I had burning in my sternum, I would start to vomit. I thought I was just having really bad heartburn. I eventually had an ultrasound and they said I had small stones and in between waiting for the dr I started to turn yellow because a stone was stuck in my bile duct. I saw the dr the day after I turned yellow and had an mri where the radiologist did not see a stone so my md sent me home and told me to drink alot of water and follow up with a general surgeon to have the gall bladder out. then I finally had a night I was in so much pain I had to go to the ER, they did and ERCP to remove the stone and a week later I had the gall bladder out all because I went and had a baby, thank you estrogen!
@TNChick yes most of what you bought or have is useless or will be used one or for a couple days. I gave away so much after my first and everyone was like do you want this back and I'm like nope! And yes have your partner take a night shift even if you get up to pump during it and go right back to sleep don't do it alone you'll go nuts.
For me - Yes we watched a video before we left about pp depression but I honestly went to a place I did not know I could go. I thought about leaving my husband with my son I thought i had made a huge mistake. I could not sit in the house with just my child and I I needed noise the tv was on constantly I watched every episode of greys anatomy. The stress of bf and pumping and him not latching and my husband trying but not trying to help broke me.
Also I wish I had known to not go to the hospital too early. I thought I was having contractions and I was every 4 mins and I was 4 cm dilated but I thought if they didnt think I was ready they would send me home. They said they were going to wait to admit me and have me walk around but we got into a room got admitted and hooked up to the monitors and an iv and then I walked till about 2 am- started at the hospital at 10 pm. Anyway the contractions stopped over night and then the md was in no rush to check me the next day. She came by around 11 after discharge and I was 5 cm and no longer safe to go home. But my water still had not broken so they wanted to do pitocin. Something happened where I got a 7 min long contraction they lost my sons heart beat and had to give me a shot to stop the contraction- almost had to have an emergency c section. After that I had a horrible experience with the epidural process and then had the pitocin started again. Eventually my water broke and baby came out after 1 hr 45 mins of pushing two days later from when I got to the hospital... I learned don't go too early.

Redpuma119 · September 2016

This is all great information!! Won't lie though, it scares me a little. But I like going in prepared. These are things that no one tells you!!

mrsrep123 · September 2016

LOVED reading all of these, especially about mom guilt, BF guilt, and unnecessary baby items.

I didnt know this but was fortunate enough for someone to tell me where I was still able to utilize it during my first pregnancy. The "AMA Guidelines for Continuation of Various Job Tasks During Pregnancy" allowed me to go on modified duty starting at 32 weeks. This meant, as a nurse in the ICU, I was not doing direct patient care which made me terrified that I might hurt myself and baby or catch some crazy disease or infection. Plus, I was able to save my sick & vacation time for after the baby was born! I hope you're able to use this document in your favor!

flychick-2 · September 2016

All of these are so good! I'm going to go with a simple one. I wish I hadn't bought so many baby clothes ahead of time. You see the stuff that says the ages and you think, ok, so over this season the baby will be this size, this season, this size. And baby clothes are so cute! But the size thing is such a joke! My full term girl came out preemie sized so couldn't even fit newborn size for 6 weeks. And my full term boy came out average sized and within 2 weeks had outgrown newborn. By 9 months he was wearing 2T in bottoms! Soooooo many outfits were never worn for either of them.

Never again. I'm buying a couple things for the first week or two and then after that buying as the baby grows.

Stormy61 · September 2016

I wish I would have known how much I would miss being pregnant! You feel huge at the end but I missed feeling her in my belly, and having her with me all the time. Feeling her kick is amazing! Cherish those moments.

I also wish I wouldn't have wasted a single moment feeling guilty for taking a nap when people came over to see the baby. People I trust plus my husband was there. Seriously take sleep whenever you can.

Yiggle09 · September 2016

I want to add no one told me pushing the baby out could break my tail bone but I did. Very uncomfortable sitting trying to pump trying to get some brisk walking done for exercise for several weeks

pshaortao · September 2016

FlyChick said:

All of these are so good! I'm going to go with a simple one. I wish I hadn't bought so many baby clothes ahead of time. You see the stuff that says the ages and you think, ok, so over this season the baby will be this size, this season, this size. And baby clothes are so cute! But the size thing is such a joke! My full term girl came out preemie sized so couldn't even fit newborn size for 6 weeks. And my full term boy came out average sized and within 2 weeks had outgrown newborn. By 9 months he was wearing 2T in bottoms! Soooooo many outfits were never worn for either of them.

Never again. I'm buying a couple things for the first week or two and then after that buying as the baby grows.

This is definitely great advice for FTMs! Most clothes we get are gently used through buy/sell/trade groups because they grow so fast! It's a good idea to wait until you get an idea of their growth/percentile first before you get too much stuff. By 6 months, DD was consistently 85-90%+ so it got easier to shop for the right season.

shmarpler · September 2016

I wish someone had told me more about the postpartum bleeding. Overnight pads just aren't big enough. I'm buying a pack of depends this time.

I wish I'd read "Breastfeeding Made Simple" much, much sooner. Turns out I had an oversupply that gave DD gas, and slowed her weight gain. This is also how I learned that she had a lip tie, which created terrible latch issues, and further complicated weight gain. This time, I'm having someone check baby's mouth and lip before he/she is even 24 hours old.

I also wish I had held my newborn more. It took several months to learn that she was having terrible tummy aches, and I wish I had spent more time helping her feel better. Plus, once she learned to wiggle, she wouldn't snuggle at all. She just now at 13 mos starting to cuddle a bit.

TresGatos · September 2016

I wish I had known that I would mourn my pre-baby life and that it was normal and ok. I had many times in the first few weeks of DD's life where I wondered if we made a mistake and shouldn't have become parents. I missed my old carefree life where I could sleep when I wanted and go where I wanted when I wanted. And I felt so incredibly guilty and wrong for feeling that way. It took me talking with a counselor friend of MH's to make me realize that it was normal to feel that way and didn't make me a horrible mother.

mia1116 · September 2016

I wish I had know that I would pee when I sneezed as my pregnancy went on. How uncomfortable pregnancy can be with round ligament pain, everything moving and stretching, and that post-patrtum recovery isn't pretty. I honestly thought you delivered and when you came home your body went back to normal pretty fast. I think knowing what I'm in for this time will make it all easier to deal with. I feel like the movies do a huge disservice, they make pregnancy seem like you're a glowing goddess and then after screaming during delivery (which was totally untrue for me a epidurals are wonderful!) you came home and danced with your baby and husband. Clearly it's all worth it since I choose to do it again, but I just wish I had known all that.

geoffandjen728 · September 2016

ChristinaWild said:

Not so much with the first pregnancy, but for afterwards - I wish I would have known more about tongue tie. Our little guy was examined in the hospital before we left, and told everything was fine. After two months of non stop screaming (and I do mean nonstop - by both him and me!), I had him evaluated again by a lactation consultant our ped recommended. She said he had "a slight tongue tie, but that nothing needed to be done about it". After another month and countless hours online reading up on it, I took him to an ENT who diagnosed him with both a severe tongue and lip tie. We had them fixed that day, and the change was unbelievable. It took some time to get him to learn how to latch correctly, but the screaming stopped (turned out he was getting air into his stomach and suffering from severe gas pain). I swear, it was like having a new child.

Baby #2 will be seeing the ENT pretty soon after being born!

Yup. #1 had both and a nurse told us at the hospital, but she was being so vague (now we know it's because she was probably not supposed to tell us since she wasn't a specialist) but it was a NIGHTMARE those first few months. Even bottle feeding was rough- but I really was trying to give bfing a go. With #2 (same hospital) I could tell right away that DS had tongue and lip ties as well. I didn't leave the hospital without it being corrected.
#3 will be born in a different state and different hospital- but for sure I'll be on the lookout!

geoffandjen728 · September 2016

I wish I knew about safe side nursing with my first. A nurse showed me while I was in the hospital the first night with DS and it was a game changer! Sure, I watched a lot more Netflix with my first... She nursed every hour for at least 20 minutes for the first couple of months so I often would just watch movies or whole tv series. I slept much less than I could have.
With my second I went back to sleep as soon as he was back in his cosleeper. Since I learned side nursing, I didn't always get all the way up at night and therefore could go back to sleep easier most of the time. Less fun, but more important.

JCWhitey · September 2016

That if your water breaks you will gush fluid over and over and over and it won't stop! It's not like in the movies with one gush and your done. No one ever told me, so there I was, in a bathroom stall at work trying to get up and having nothing to keep me from leaking fluid all over the place. I used a ton of TP and then ran down the hallway and used an old towel I found in my room! I soaked that things on the way to the hospital! With baby #2 I bought some Depends and kept them everywhere. In my purse, in my bathroom, in the bathroom at work, in my car. I was going to be prepared wherever it happened, and I was! I didn't have to mop the floor of my work bathroom before heading to the hospital and didn't have to have an uncomfortable bulgy towel between my legs. It was still weird feeling and uncomfortable, but my clothes and car seat stayed dry. Depends can really absorb a lot!

JCWhitey · September 2016

Stormy61 said:

I wish I would have known how much I would miss being pregnant! You feel huge at the end but I missed feeling her in my belly, and having her with me all the time. Feeling her kick is amazing! Cherish those moments.

I also wish I wouldn't have wasted a single moment feeling guilty for taking a nap when people came over to see the baby. People I trust plus my husband was there. Seriously take sleep whenever you can.

I had my daughter three weeks early and spent the next three weeks crying about how I'd been robbed of that time with her inside. PPD played a hand in that, but I really did feel cheated, even though I had a rough last three months of pregnancy and was miserable for the last several weeks. Funny how that happens!

Anna2091 · September 2016

Trust your own instincts! People are so eager to share their opinion, but you and your partner really know the baby better than anyone else. It was such a relieve when I was finally able to just say 'thank you for the advice' and move along.

kat81 · September 2016

I forgot about this one, but it came up the other day when I was talking to some other moms of two kids --

Don't stress over the baby stuff. It's kind of like how people obsess over every detail of their wedding. But it doesn't matter what color the stroller is, etc. As someone said above, you don't need half of the crap you get. Relatedly, don't by ANY clothes...or maybe just one outfit. Everyone else will be so excited they will buy clothes for you, and soon enough you'll be getting hand-me-downs or you'll purchase from second-hand places. Our kids are 2 and 5 and we seldom buy any clothes for them ourselves, due to random hand-me-downs and eager grandparents and whatnot.

And a serious one --

I wish I had known more about "baby blues" and postpartum depression. After #1 I was ok...but not all of the way there. I definitely had the baby blues because breastfeeding was so hard and I got no sleep. Things were a lot better after #2, but it was a rough time after #1. For whatever reason, they gave me a lot more surveys on my feelings after #2 (at various check-in appointments and whatnot) than I had had after #1. Out of curiosity I once answered and scored mentally using how I remembered feeling after #1, and got the "get help" category. Everything ended up ok, but I probably could have used some more help.

psherman42wwsa · September 2016

kat81 said:

I forgot about this one, but it came up the other day when I was talking to some other moms of two kids --

Don't stress over the baby stuff. It's kind of like how people obsess over every detail of their wedding. But it doesn't matter what color the stroller is, etc. As someone said above, you don't need half of the crap you get. Relatedly, don't by ANY clothes...or maybe just one outfit. Everyone else will be so excited they will buy clothes for you, and soon enough you'll be getting hand-me-downs or you'll purchase from second-hand places. Our kids are 2 and 5 and we seldom buy any clothes for them ourselves, due to random hand-me-downs and eager grandparents and whatnot.

And a serious one --

I wish I had known more about "baby blues" and postpartum depression. After #1 I was ok...but not all of the way there. I definitely had the baby blues because breastfeeding was so hard and I got no sleep. Things were a lot better after #2, but it was a rough time after #1. For whatever reason, they gave me a lot more surveys on my feelings after #2 (at various check-in appointments and whatnot) than I had had after #1. Out of curiosity I once answered and scored mentally using how I remembered feeling after #1, and got the "get help" category. Everything ended up ok, but I probably could have used some more help.

I agree about the "baby blues". I definitely had it and it lasted about 2 weeks. Luckily it was not very serious and went away but I was so surprised about the sad feelings I had. Breastfeeding is hard, you are exhausted, your whole body is sore from labor/delivery and your entire life has completely changed. I was already thinking I hope that I don't get the baby blues again after this delivery.

Candy_bandit · September 2016

I was so afraid for labor and postpartum the first time around. For me labor was more surreal if anything. I went in at 36 weeks because I had some spotting, turned out my water had broke- I figured I was just finally getting the peeing yourself thing everyone talks about! They induced me and it was the most surreal experience, the epidural contributed for sure, as it was the most comfortable I had been in weeks. I expected it to be more physically messed up following, but I was walking my dog the third day after and only real complaint was the ridiculously swollen legs and feet. Definitely will get compression socks prior this time around! I'm definitely more worried this time about the exhaustion of pregnancy then how awesome it was for me after she was finally here.
Also it is super weird to be a second time mom and know all this stuff

RissaAnnmaria562 · September 2016

Pregnancy:
Full panel maternity jeans is the way to go. Demi panel just got uncomfortable and dug it's way into my growing belly.

Leggings are life!!!seriously, who needs pants? Totally kidding. They are just great for lounging and dressing up and dressing down.

You don't need all the baby crap. You don't need a swing, a bouncy chair, a gym, a Pack-N-play, a rock-N-play, a bumbo, a crib, a bassinet and a co-sleeper. You may be gifted a lot of this stuff, but seriously don't eagerly all open it at once and set it up. You will be bombarded and run out of walking space in no time. If you have animals, they will cuddle up and take a nap in one peice of equipment 5 minutes after you shoo'd them off of another. Take it slow, introduce one item to the baby at a time. See how he or she likes it. Try a few more times, and if it's a no-go, then put it away and try something else.

Birth and beyond:
Breast feeding hurts. Yes, people do mention that while pregnant, but believe them. It's not as easy as it looks. Your nipples will bleed and scab in the begining. There will be moments where you look at your baby and try not to cry from the pain. I've been told, that eventually it gets easier. I wouldn't know. I couldn't get passed the scabing phase.

Sometimes you don't feel contractions. Seriously, they felt like backaches from a period. Sometimes(while medicated) pushing out a baby doesn't hurt. It's hard work, but not always painful. Don't be scared. It'll be worth it.

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