Last baby?

ihateusernames* · September 2016

this is my 3rd baby! I'm thinking I'm done afterwards. So far I'm not sad about it but we originally planned in 4. My SO is fine with 3 but he also is fine with 4 so it's kind of up to me.

Is this the last for any of you? How do you know when you're "done"?

jem89 · September 2016

Great question! I want to read the thoughts to this one. My only input is that I feel like this is the last one but I am not sure if that is just because I am overwhelmed. I am also a bit nervous that we will find out the baby is the fourth girl and DH will want to "try for a boy". I love the babies but hate pregnancy and I don't want to do it again... I am pretty sure lol.

OctoberLove13 · September 2016

I've only ever planned on one and done. That being said, we have custody of my 6yo niece so that decision has pretty much been made final with this baby. I don't foresee DH or I wanting any more no matter what the sex of this baby turns out to be. So I guess my decision was kind of cut and dry before we even started trying!

MrsNap_515 · September 2016

I think it's totally dependent on different circumstances for everyone, for me, my body, and my medical condition, I can't physically have children without fertility treatments. I'll be 37 when the twins are born, that will make 3 kiddos for us, I'm not sure i'll pursue fertility treatments again, and put my body through all that insanity again, but I won't be preventing anything, should we be granted a miracle down the road, I just don't think we will be pursuing treatment again. Especially since DH is already 40, I don't want to increase any odds of anything to go wrong.

hippiemama-2 · September 2016

I used to think that I only wanted 2. DH always said 3. Now that we're heading towards 2... I'm not sure I'm ready to be done? My pregnancies tend to be rough, but I don't know that its a big enough reason to for sure call this my last.

jmacd22 · September 2016

I have one child from previous marriage, this will be my husbands first. I would be ok if this was my last child as I don't particularly enjoy being pregnant. If he wanted one more I would compromise but it's a done deal after that for sure.

Gators&BoSox · September 2016

This is our second and we are done. I always wanted 3 or 4 but babies are expensive and we both want to make sure we can live comfortably. Plus let's be honest kids are hard work! If we had all the money in the world we would have more I'm sure, but we will both be perfectly happy with 2 kiddos

Finallyhismrs07 · September 2016

We always planned on having two, and now I'm pregnant with twins. Now I'm not so sure as I also never planned on being pregnant once. We aren't making any permanent decisions about being done, we will see how we feel once the twins are out of toddlerhood.

datalover13 · September 2016

I always wanted 3 or 4, DH wanted 2. We'll re-evaluate in a few years probably. It sucks that part of the reason we don't have more is because of the cost of daycare and such. Ah, life.

GoldenTMama · September 2016

While I can't really help you with your question on how to know when you are "done," here are my thoughts on our family.

This will be our first, but it will not be our last. When we first got married we thought we would have 3 (we are both a part of sibling sets with 3), but now we are pretty sure we will only have 2. A lot of things went into that decision. For example, it took us longer than we expected to have a successful pregnancy and so when this LO is born DH will be 33 and I will be 32, which isn't old but it is older than we had planned. Also, kids are expensive and a lot of work, and since neither of us can stay home full time, we have decided that we would be happy and could provide best (emotionally and financially) for 2.

But I love seeing how every family is different. Good luck on making your decision!

anonellis · September 2016

@Finallyhismrs07 I feel exactly the same way -- we always thought we wanted 2, but now that two will be the same age we both sort of want 3? Obviously this could change once the babies are actually born but I feel like we would be missing out on some things if we only had one pregnancy. (Of course, so far I'm hating pregnancy.) it's weird how it has changed our perspective a little.

GoldenTMama · September 2016

@jem89 FX for a boy this time around!

Bluebird2318 · September 2016

Well, our second was meant to be our last! A third was not even on the table. We had a vasectomy scheduled, but I ended up pregnant in the meantime. As it stands, DH will be snipped before this one is born.

As far as knowing when you're done is concerned: for about six months after DS was born, part of me had slight baby fever and I could have gone either way on it. But again, those were just feelings; we were absolutely done, no question. After six months, especially when DS turned two, I finally FELT done 100% of the time. Moving forward with the family seemed far more important than expanding. I had no desire for a third baby at that point. Surprise, surprise!

I think it kind of goes without saying that I am beyond positive I'm done now.

Bok Bagok · September 2016

*TW* This will be our last attempt no mater the outcome. My husband and I married each other later in life (a second marriage for both of us) but we wanted to have three kids, so we got to it right away!! We were so lucky to get pregnant with my daughter a month after getting married. We started to try again when she was 9 months old and again got pregnant right away, how lucky are we right? That pregnancy ended in a MMC and was a huge reality slap. I was frantic to get pregnant again and totally obsessed. I really started to have a nervous breakdown over it all and by the time we did get pregnant again (6 months later) I was so burnt out I ended up leaving my job of 11 years to focus on being a SAHM and relax for this pregnancy. Unfortunately, that also ended in a MMC. It took us a year to get pregnant this time and no matter what happens with this baby it will be our last. I'm ready to move on with my life one way or the other. So we went from wanting three, to hoping for two but being at peace with one of that's how it turns out.

nursemama-2 · September 2016

This is our last. I thought I wanted 4, but we're done. Finances, I feel complete and I don't want to be pregnant again after this one.

Cbeanz · September 2016

I wasn't sure I wanted ANY, but our first kid was so cool we wanted a bigger family. During my second pregnancy, I didn't *feel* like it was my last. And as soon as she was born I was pretty sure we'd go for one more. Well here's #3 and I actually DO feel like it's the last one. TTC and pregnancy is so freaking stressful, isn't it?! I'm getting too old and worn down to go through all of this again (I know I'm not one of the oldest here, but I'm AMA and I have two little ones already who drain every ounce of energy from me). It's my last pregnancy so I'm making the most of it! I remind myself that each stage is the last (last 1st Tri, last announcement, etc.) and it feels good to let myself enjoy things "one last time". It's freeing!

hisqueen78 · September 2016

When I was younger I wanted 4. My husband wanted 3-5. We have 2 and while 2 more to make 4 would be easier I don't think it's going to happen. Unless somehow this LO turns out to be 2.

CanadianintheSouth · September 2016

I'm done, my husband wants one more. I told him that we would table the discussion until a later date and not make any permanent decisions, but I am convinced that two is all for me. I like to travel - mostly to see family but they all live in great vacation destinations - and I feel like I can manage two kids at an airport on my own (my DD and I travel a lot without my DH, the perks of being a SAHM!). I don't want to feel 'stuck' so to speak where I live now because I have zero family anywhere near me, and I think two is my limit of what I could handle.

kjd291 · September 2016

I have been wondering this myself!! I asked DH the other day--how do we know for sure to make the snip and be done done!? Some days I think I want 5 kids. Most days I think I'm done. But I don't want to regret the decision. I also don't want to have kids spaced out, so I feel like for us if we don't want another after a year or two-we're done.

AnonnAni · September 2016

This is our 4th and we are definitely done, I was told I was i fertile so to naturally concieve 4 kids is a damn miracle but each pregnancy has had complications and Im high risk so jist dont feel like we should tempt fate any further. Plus I have been pregnant or nursing since 2009, IM TIRED!

ihateusernames* · September 2016

Yeah, I love the babies but really dislike pregnancy. It makes me feel like a crappy mom to the kids I have, being so tired and grumpy all the time.

I feel ready to start doing fun things with my oldest but the pregnancies and nursing always hold me back.

I think this might be it for us....

saraeric · September 2016

I always thought I wanted 3 or 4 kids but I'm thinking this might be our last one. Between fertility issues, a miscarriage, and just the stress of TTC and early pregancy....I'm not sure I could mentally handle another pregnacy. Also, the cost of having 3 in daycare scares me!!

lilies5/28/06 · September 2016

We currently have three kids (13, 9, and 2 1/2). When we started out I always told my husband that I wanted four kids. He is one of seven and I was raised as an only child. I have half siblings from my father and we were never really raised together, never have really been close so I always felt/feel at a disadvantage feeling alone thus have always wanted to surround myself with a big family. When we were pregnant with my last baby we had both said ok this is the last one. At the time I was at peace with just having three and even contemplated having my tubes tied (glad I didn't ). Turns out my MIL passed away when I was 8 months with DS and my grandmother had a major stroke 3 days before my scheduled csection and passed away 4 days later after DS was born. Talk about whirlwind of emotions and how a new birth was saddened by recent deaths. Not to mention that I was left to plan a funeral as well while recovering in the hospital from a csection. So for some reason because of those events DH and I agreed and felt that we should have one more. That decision was also cemented because of the wide range of ages with our kids and I didnt want the little one to be raised by himself once the older kids are busy with their teenage lives and want nothing to do with him. DH and I are both 35 and what I told him was I rather do this now then have empty nest syndrome we have a kid in our forties (which there is nothing wrong with that but I dont want to keep feeling like starting all over again )

We plan on stopping at four, our last baby is a boy according to the NIPT. This will be our fourth boy and as much as I love my boys and this little one in the oven. I don't think emotionally I could go through another pregnancy feeling crappy and sick for it to be another boy. Not to mention that this will be my fourth csection and my old OBGYN threatned me with how dangerous this is and how I could lose my uterus from the surgery and bleeding. Hence, I've found a new OB who's very reassuring that everything will be okay just may have a little more bleeding than normal.

@ihateusernames* I think that once you have this baby and maybe a couple months after you and your DH will probably know in your hearts if you should be done or if you should go for one more.

SandiaLiz · September 2016

I am definitely ready to be done having babies after this one. H is totally on the same page and we've already talked about him getting a vasectomy next year. But we aren't deciding anything until this LO is here safe and sound.

We have the most wonderful daughter and I knew immediately after her (even during) that I wanted to have more biologically. However, I feel very differently this time. I am not enjoying this pregnancy (my phone just suggested the word "puking" to finish the sentence "ready to be done" - that tells me a lot). I'm not sure where it came from, but I am just sure I'm done with pregnancy. Plus, we both are so ready to not worry about birth control!

I have always wanted 3. I would love to adopt in a couple years. I'm not sure if my H is on board (he only wants 2 - plus our new house is a 3 bedroom) and honestly I'm not sure we could afford it or would qualify but it is definitely something I will pursue. I don't know how that will turn out but we are both very comfortable being done having biological children.

Skyjewell23 · September 2016

I've always said I wanted 4 kids, but after having DS that number when down to 3. Once DS turned 2 I really considered only having two kids. That sort of took hold and I'm 97% sure this is out last baby.

I am am half way through my masters and newborns don't really factor into a career. I want to be a mom and have a career so once that kicks off, I'm done with the baby stage. I also love the 2-2 ratio. They won't outnumber us ever

girlmama83 · September 2016

We have a three year old daughter and don't know the sex of this baby yet. If it's a boy, we will be done.

If this baby is also a girl, I am open to trying for a 3rd in the hopes of having a boy. If we ended up with a 3rd girl though I'm definitely done either way.

ShaunaT25 · September 2016

My sister has 3 kids and her life makes my head spin. I honestly can't see myself coping or being able to balance 3 so I have always said 2.

Gobruins0430 · September 2016

This is absolutely it for us. We already knew we were stopping at two, but even if we weren't sure, this horrible, lingering morning sickness is enough to convince me that this is the last time I'll ever go through this!

ladyoriza · September 2016

Two is it for us. I'd love to have a girl but not enough to go through pregnancy again if this is a boy. I don't know how to explain it. I've just always pictured two.

smcniff · September 2016

We were pretty sure we wanted two, but I hadn't ruled out three. My daughter is 1.5. Unfortunately this pregnancy his high risk and will likely be complicated due to Rh disease. Rh disease gets worse with each subsequent pregnancy, so I have already discussed having my tubes tied when this baby is born. This will be my last pregnancy.

ccook1211 · September 2016

This pregnancy will be our last. We have an almost three year old son and are now expecting quadruplets. I wanted 2 children and my husband always said he wanted 4. We will be stopping at 5! I have a fear of what may happen if we decided to try for "one more" later on!

alexxapplepiee-2 · September 2016

We're expecting identical twins. This is the first pregnancy for both of us. We don't know the genders of the beans yet but I'm sure we'll want one more of just to try for the gender we don't get. I'm not sure how I feel about it though. I've been so sick and in pain during the entire pregnancy that I think these 2 might be our first and last.

sarahbobby · September 2016

I had wanted three for a while but after having two losses, I'm down to one or two. I'll be 34 when this one is born and I have been pregnant every year of my thirties with the exception of the year I turned 30. I'm also high risk and will be for every pregnancy as I have a uterine abnormality. I think I'm going to need a break for a year or two after this one and then will we decided if we want to go for two. I'm an only child and had a great childhood so having only one wouldn't bother me. I just feel like I'm not the best 'me' when I'm pregnant and would like to get back to myself for a bit.

ihateusernames* · September 2016

ccook1211 said:

This pregnancy will be our last. We have an almost three year old son and are now expecting quadruplets. I wanted 2 children and my husband always said he wanted 4. We will be stopping at 5! I have a fear of what may happen if we decided to try for "one more" later on!

BAHAHA yes! I think that I would be making the same decision as you guys with 4 on the way!

DrillSergeantCat · September 2016

Last one for me for sure! This is #3 and I'm 39. My age was the deciding factor.

Liss_37 · September 2016

This will definitely be the last for us. When my husband got Leukemia in 2014 we were told he was more than likely sterile after his cancer treatment. so at that time we came to terms with only having one! looks like you never know, because these two miracles came as a wonderful surprise. After this though we will look into DH getting a vasectomy because three children will be our limit for finance reasons

librarymom917 · September 2016

This will be my second, my husbands 4th and our last. I wanted a second when my daughter was 18 months and it took 4 years after that for my husband to agree. I will be getting my tubes tied after birth.

C25 · September 2016

This is our third and we are on the fence between having 3 or 4. DH has always wanted 3, me 4..but just the other day I surprised myself when I thought that I could possibly be okay with 3.

We deal with awful custody issues with my oldest son, it's so hard and emotionally draining for me that I just don't want the other children OR the oldest to suffer for attention and support... because I know it's only going to get harder as he gets older.

That being said, we have 2 boys and don't know this LO's sex yet so if it's not a girl I will probably want to go for a 4th

mamabear2015 · September 2016

We both always said we wanted 3 but my pregnancies are so rough we will be stopping at 2. I still feel my heart pulling me towards 3 so we may foster or adopt another but that's a hugely expensive process I'm not sure we can manage. So. It will likely be 2.

kmleon83 · September 2016

This will be ours last. Our son is 18 months old and this baby wasn't planned for another few years, if that -- we hadn't discussed the prospect of another yet. Aside from my high risk diagnosis due to a clotting disorder, my first pregnancy was going well until I delivered at 25.6 weeks. We weren't really sure if we would be able to handle it again and what another NICU stay would do to our relationship and our mental health. So far, this pregnancy has been rough. There are a few new issues I have now, although manageable, but nothing is quieting down the anxiety screaming inside me about how this will turn out. I just don't enjoy being pregnant and don't wish to go through it again, especially when I know I'll be stressed during the entire pregnancy.

Robi1 · September 2016

Definitely not done here, but I'm so curious about the "feeling done" feeling and whether I will ever get it. I just want to have babies always. Every time my baby is around 9 months I feel ready for another. It feels so weird to have two older kids and no babies right now, and I just can't imagine never being pregnant again or never having a baby again. We want six but we take it one at a time, so we'll see.

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