I think the whole "I'm so emotional about my kid's first day of school!" thing gets more blown out of proportion every year and people need to get it together. Every 3rd post on my Facebook is from mom friends posting about crying and being a mess because their kids are going to school. That's not cute! Then the next day they're posting "day 2, now my kid sobbed and didn't want me to leave!" Well, shocker, they're picking up on your behavior! I'm not saying not to feel how you feel, or that you need to be an emotionless stone, but I don't sobbing and making your kid think going to school is scary or bad is doing anybody any favors.
This seems like an UO from what I've seen but I don't mind the "Mommy's little monster" or "handsome like daddy" baby clothes. I think they're cute. I also don't mind character clothing or Disney themed stuff.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
This seems like an UO from what I've seen but I don't mind the "Mommy's little monster" or "handsome like daddy" baby clothes. I think they're cute. I also don't mind character clothing or Disney themed stuff.
Definitely a UO in my opinion. Ughhhhh. Why can't they just make onesies and outfits just with a cute pattern and no words?!?!?!?
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
This seems like an UO from what I've seen but I don't mind the "Mommy's little monster" or "handsome like daddy" baby clothes. I think they're cute. I also don't mind character clothing or Disney themed stuff.
Definitely a UO in my opinion. Ughhhhh. Why can't they just make onesies and outfits just with a cute pattern and no words?!?!?!?
Haha! I'm not exclusively buying these types of clothes they just don't bother me.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@ibabyloveb87 Agreed! All of my friends know I "hate things that say things" so most of the outfits I've gotten have been just patterned. The ones with words were mostly returned
@ibabyloveb87 Agreed! All of my friends know I "hate things that say things" so most of the outfits I've gotten have been just patterned. The ones with words were mostly returned
same here... My MIL gave us a onesie that said something about ruling the house. That one went in the trash.
@scostel2 YES. I hate this time of year, FB is so annoying. Granted I didn't do the FIRST first day of school with my son since I didn't meet him till he was 12, but on his first day of high school I teared up and then got over it. I didn't blubber about it or get on FB and sob to everyone.
@MRSCORKER I'm with you. Most of my baby's clothes have something written on them and I couldn't care less. It's cute when they're little and they won't be little for long. I'm not going to stress about what he's wearing, there will be plenty of that later in his life. Lol
I don't understand why some moms think it is offensive and/or rude when coworkers make maternity leave sound similar to taking vacation. From their prospective, it is really the same thing in that you aren't in the office and your work is going to have to be picked up by someone else. More importantly, I feel like maternity leave is going to be a little like a vacation. Not that it will be easy or relaxing but I am so looking forward to being home with my new baby and not dealing with awful clients. If I am anxiously counting down, I can't really blame others for treating it like a good thing for me and a crappy thing for them because that is exactly what is happening.
@scostel2 I'm with you! And to expand, my UO (especially with a group of moms!) is that I dislike the 'my baby just rolled over, he/she is so big', 'so and so just started crawling, OMG slow down time!' Blah blah blah. 1. I know it's exciting to you when they reach milestones but almost all babies are doing the exact same thing. They are SUPPOSED to do that. That's why the whole 'my baby is so big where did the time go, I can't believe they are in (insert grade)', I'm like 'eh. To be honest I know exactly where the time went!!'.
I know this is just how I was brought up- my mom and I had this discussion since my youngest sister is now a freshman in college and everyone keeps asking her if she's sad and she keeps saying 'nope!'. My dd is 3, and yeah every now and then I'll see a picture of her as a baby but it really doesn't make me emotional more then saying 'aw she was such a cute baby' to my dh.
The funny thing is I was going on this rant to dh because a close friend kept sending me picture after picture of her dd because she was starting kindergarten the next day. It was driving me nuts (not that I would tell her that) so I was on my soapbox but then my dh (who is a mush ball) was all sad about our dd going to preschool. Oops!
This is my first, so I reserve the right to change my mind... but I completely agree with you @maf9866 ... I get the tears over first day back to work. You're hormonal and leaving baby for the first time. But, seriously, after that... get it together!
I get emotional over milestones and I was upset I couldn't bring my son to preschool for his first day. I cried a few times over it in the hospital. I wouldn't post a sob story about it on fb though. As a working mom, I've gotten over missing a lot of firsts but missing them still stings.
I also look back at baby pictures and I do wonder where the last 3 years went. They went fast. And it's pretty damn amazing how much your baby grows in its first year of life. They go from being completely dependent on you, to being able to run away and say no to you, all in 12 months. It's insane. With that said I don't dwell on them. I love the moments and cherish them! And I look at my boy with such pride at how much he has accomplished in 3 years and how amazing he is in this current right now stage.
@karenbm13 I'm not a fan of relating maternity leave to vacation. My idea of vacation is somewhere warm and tropical. I am not a fan of people acting as if birth is some easy thing women do. It's fucking hard. Recovery is hard. Adjusting is hard. having a family is 100% my choice and I don't think I deserve a metal for it. But my maternity leave isn't a vacation. It's a necessity.
@maf9866 I kind of agree with you on this. I have a friend who sends me pictures of every little new thing her toddler does but every time it's followed by a sad face. I mean I get your baby is growing up, but at the same time, wouldn't you rather him achieve milestones than not?? I guess it's a bittersweet thing, and I'm sure I'll be sad my baby is getting older, but I am going to try to not send every little thing to my friends. If I feel like I need to share a milestone, I know my mom or my MIL will be glad to get the photo!
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@KarenBM13 a lot of maternity leave (especially in the US where some people only get 6 weeks or less) is about recovering from the actual birth. Which is definitely not like a vacation in my opinion. I think of it more in line with my colleague who was out for 3 months for a knee replacement. No one was giving him shit about being "on vacation" even though he was also really looking forward to it.
@KarenBM13 I'm probably the inspiration for your UO (since I ranted about this very thing twice here this week) and I acknowledge that for the rest of the team/office, it doesn't really matter if the purpose of the leave is vacation or maternity leave. When a person is out of the office, other people have to cover their work, regardless of the reason for their absence. I get that. But I agree with what @scostel2 and @serenaxo84 said- maternity leave is about recovering from the physical demands of childbirth and adjusting to life as a new mom. It's not a vacation. I'm grateful that I get time off to do that, but I don't think that it should be held against me when I need time off for other purposes (especially when the time off is time that I've earned and I'm entitled to take for any reason whatsoever.)
@KarenBM13 a lot of maternity leave (especially in the US where some people only get 6 weeks or less) is about recovering from the actual birth. Which is definitely not like a vacation in my opinion. I think of it more in line with my colleague who was out for 3 months for a knee replacement. No one was giving him shit about being "on vacation" even though he was also really looking forward to it.
This. The exact parameters of my maternity leave have yet to be defined, but I'll likely get 4 weeks or so. With the recovery and adjustment to life with a newborn, I hardly feel like I get a "vacation." Maybe if I got 6+ weeks, I'd feel differently.
This is probably a big UO, but I don't want summer to end. I've loved being pregnant in the summer. I love getting to wear dresses and skirts and flip flops and no pants! I'm anemic so I'm typically cold when inside, and I love that I can just walk outside to warm up. I have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder and don't do well in the winter months - I need sunshine to thrive! Also dislike that it's starting to get dark earlier. I like to walk outside in the evenings and it gets increasingly more difficult to do as the sun starts setting earlier & earlier. Also, my mom passed away in October, right when it was starting to get cooler here, and the change in weather always gets me a bit sad and nostalgic for a few days. Having this LO in October will hopefully help change that part though!
@ball4768 definitely not directed at you! I apologize that you thought that. Btw, your coworker sounds like a witch. It actually stemmed from someone at work getting mad on my behalf because of the implication that my maternity leave is a fun thing. I completely agree with everyone's comments re: it being a necessity and the fact that the US's treatment of new mothers is appalling. I just think those things can be true and maternity leave can be something I am looking forward to and excited about. I just don't think it's insulting when people imply that my maternity leave is a nice thing so long as it isn't done in a belittling or disrespectful way.
I get that the entire birth experience is overwhelming, but if between you and your husband you cannot get your wishes across to the doctors/nurses/staff, theres a larger problem with your hospital/medical provider.
@Kaessi I'm with you on not wanting summer to send!!! Partly cause of clothes too... buying a whole new wardrobe was hard enough, but now I need to find cool-weather clothes to fit how my body will look for only like 6 weeks?! Ugh!
Also it seems like with working as much as possible to afford a baby (and going to bed at 9pm to have enough energy for it), summer has come and gone without me being able to enjoy it. I've been really sad about that! We live ten minutes from 2 gorgeous sandy beaches and I went ONCE this year. Normally I'm there like every other day! I know it's a good trade-off and all, but this was our first summer as a married couple and I hope it doesn't set any precedent for us in the years to come:(
I do have baby clothes that say things, I just don't really matter, unless they say something rude or inappropriate...
about maternity leave, I get to have 12 weeks off, and some other perks like no Overtime, not being near welding machines (with this weather it feels like hell anywhere near them) no safety shoes... but my co workers and boss get it... they haven't been rude, they are always joking about it and they blame me for their cravings.
My UO is that I actually don't like any pumpkin flavored food.... *runs and hide...*
@Kaessi - I could have written all those same things about why I don't want summer to end. I'm very cold all the time and have a bit of S.A.D. as well. I love the sun still being out at 8:30pm. I'm very sorry about your mom, but hope that your LO will give you reason to enjoy October again (my DH has a similar opinion about April with his dad).
My UO is that I dislike products going overboard on seasonal items. Sometimes it's nice, but do we really need so many pumpkin spice, candy cane, jelly bean flavored items? I guess they sell to someone though because there are more and more of these seasonal items each year. I'd also like to have a -pumpkin spice filter on my social media accounts. I'm over your pictures and messages of how you had your first PS latte or whatever.
First day of school: Meh, feel the way you feel. I've been loving the ones where the mom and/or dad post about the partying they're doing while the kids are finally out of the house, personally.
For those of you who hate the words on baby clothes: check out primary. They are kind of on the opposite spectrum (NO words, NO patterns at all) but good high quality stuff.
I don't understand why some moms think it is offensive and/or rude when coworkers make maternity leave sound similar to taking vacation. From their prospective, it is really the same thing in that you aren't in the office and your work is going to have to be picked up by someone else. More importantly, I feel like maternity leave is going to be a little like a vacation. Not that it will be easy or relaxing but I am so looking forward to being home with my new baby and not dealing with awful clients. If I am anxiously counting down, I can't really blame others for treating it like a good thing for me and a crappy thing for them because that is exactly what is happening.
Kudos for a good UO. I'm not trying to get personal here, but my guess is maybe you are a FTM? Either that or your previous baby/ies have been a piece of cake. Personally my 12 weeks with DS has left me with a degree of PTSD that is heavily coloring my current pregnancy, as well as my entire attitude toward this next baby's first 12 weeks.
I have a job that is generally totally exhausting (physically and mentally) so I can definitely understand how looking forward to a change of pace is incredibly attractive. I hope that the reality of your recovery and your time with your LO closely match what you are imagining.
ETA: +1 to doulas being a waste of $$...with the possible exception of support for a natural birth. I have never personally wanted to experience natural childbirth though so I may not have room to weigh in on this one.
Some of the stuff written at on baby clothes doesn't bother me BUT what makes me crazy is the ones that are baby boys clothes that say ridiculous things like "lock up your daughters" or "I dig older chicks"
@Kaessi yes! I'm so sad to see summer end. @mrszoess I get the appeal of a doula. It's really hard to communicate your wants and needs when you're in a lot of pain. And your husband/support person is trying to focus on you during labor and might be freaking out. The nurses have never met you before and half the time, the doctor who delivers you will be someone you've never spoken to before. A doula is familiar with labor and delivery AND knows what you want from the experience. I think i would have benefited from a doula with my first. At the very least, she would have been a calming presence.
(Also, according to my hospital, the presence of a doula at delivery correlates with a reduction of medical interventions including epidural and c-sections and an increase in satisfaction with the birthing experience.)
On the subject of baby clothes ... I was adamant my child wouldn't wear clothes with a ton of words or characters on them. But once she was old enough to have an opinion, that's pretty much all she wanted! (She doesn't get a say on ALL her clothes, but obviously I want her to like/wear what we buy.)
Now that we're having a boy, I just sorted through all the girl clothes I saved - tons of cute patterns and simple colors from newborn to about size 3 ... then it's an explosion of Disney princesses.
@KarenBM13 a lot of maternity leave (especially in the US where some people only get 6 weeks or less) is about recovering from the actual birth. Which is definitely not like a vacation in my opinion. I think of it more in line with my colleague who was out for 3 months for a knee replacement. No one was giving him shit about being "on vacation" even though he was also really looking forward to it.
This. The exact parameters of my maternity leave have yet to be defined, but I'll likely get 4 weeks or so. With the recovery and adjustment to life with a newborn, I hardly feel like I get a "vacation." Maybe if I got 6+ weeks, I'd feel differently.
@copperboom86 4 weeks! That is it?! I'm sorry but that doesn't even seem right!
@NoraAurora I truly am sorry you had a bad experience. I am a FTM so I definitely could be eating my words down the road. Haha. I did not mean to imply that maternity leave is comparable to a vacation except for the fact that it is a time out of the office that I am looking forward to. I probably should have everything just left the word vacation out altogether. My point way that I don't feel like colleagues acknowledging that I may be excited for maternity leave is inherently offensive, nor does it take away from the fact that beginning motherhood is going to be hardwork. Life events can occupy multiple categories (exhausting and exciting for example) at the same time.
Like you mentioned, I work an insane number of hours at a frustrating job where I am always on call for clients so I'm sure that colors my view as well. It is also why I'm not more active here.
@copperboom86 4 weeks! That is it?! I'm sorry but that doesn't even seem right!
Oh the joys of living in a state where there are zero laws concerning maternity leave. I don't even qualify for FMLA because we have less than 50 employees. I get my usual two weeks paid vacation and my employer is "generously" allowing me 2 more weeks unpaid. After that, they said I could come in a few hours a day to get my work done and they would pay me accordingly, but I still haven't decided if I want to do that or not. We'll probably be broke by then, so I'm thinking I"ll just come back full time.
@NoraAurora I truly am sorry you had a bad experience. I am a FTM so I definitely could be eating my words down the road. Haha. I did not mean to imply that maternity leave is comparable to a vacation except for the fact that it is a time out of the office that I am looking forward to. I probably should have everything just left the word vacation out altogether. My point way that I don't feel like colleagues acknowledging that I may be excited for maternity leave is inherently offensive, nor does it take away from the fact that beginning motherhood is going to be hardwork. Life events can occupy multiple categories (exhausting and exciting for example) at the same time.
Like you mentioned, I work an insane number of hours at a frustrating job where I am always on call for clients so I'm sure that colors my view as well. It is also why I'm not more active here.
I also hate all of the clothes with words on them. We have only gotten a few items as gifts with sayings on them, and most of these were part of a set, so I kept the cute pants and other parts without words, and just donated the onesies that had sayings on them. Is it really so hard to just make cute patterned clothes for babies without it saying something silly?
On the doula subject, I get that this is often something that you either really want or think is a huge waste. For me it is less about having her there to help communicate my wishes to the doctors/nurses, and more about having extra support there for not only me but my husband. He tends to get really overwhelmed when i am in pain or sick, and I know that he will be able to use some support during labor in order to be able to support me. I am planning a med-free birth, and my doula has lots of great techniques for coping with the pain, some we learned in birth class, but I'm sure in the middle of labor I will need some reminders/suggestions on what to try next. Also, like @ignoscemihi mentioned, the presence of a doula has been show to correlate to shorter labors with less interventions, and the mother feeling more satisfied with her labor experience.
@emt87 I share your opinion on doulas. My family stresses me the EFF out so I knew I didn't want them present for delivery but I felt like both H and I could use some additional support, especially if it's a drawn out process. We found a doula in training who offered her services for free because she needs experience to get certified so it was the best case scenario for us. No wasted money if it turns out it wasn't a necessity.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@emt87 - I agree with you 100% and wish I had a doula for this birth for the very same reasons you are valuing yours! I want to try natural birth (I would even go for home birth if I wasn't 38 and high-risk (UO!)) and my hubs is very overwhelmed emotionally by the birth process - especially seeing me in that kind of pain. I truly would value a calming presence of a practiced doula to help soothe both my fear and pain AND my hubs' as well. Many of my friends have had home births and I have really inspired by their ability to conquer their own pain and fear during childbirth - but... they have ALL credited their doula for their success.
@CopperBoom86-I also don't qualify for FMLA. However, my doctor gave me a note excusing me for 6-8 weeks depending on the delivery (CS or Vag) and then I requested additional "personal leave" for 4-6 weeks for a total of 12 weeks. My employer still hasn't approved me, but I wonder if a letter from your OB would obligate your employer to grant at least 6-8 weeks... ?
My true UO is that I love cats and dogs are annoying and loud and smelly.
I love all the back to school facebook posts (maybe that's the real UO), and I am sad when my kids go back. I cried (after they were gone and the had no idea about it) because regardless of how old they are, they are my babies and while it's natural and the order of life, every day they leave the house and go to school is a day they need their mama a little less. My four year old told me yesterday that he didn't cry at lunch and that was the first day he didn't cry at lunch since school started and I'm so proud of him for not crying, but also a little sad because he recognizes this now to be his new normal. But I digress, sending kids to school with tons of strangers-both adults and kids- is stressful and you really do wonder how they go from being a tiny blob of a baby to a self sufficient four year old in such a short time!
A doula would not be for me. I'm pretty good at articulating my needs in and out of pain and I know (from past experiences) that my husband manages to do an amazing job of making them known if I cant. Also, natural birth isn't really my thing, I'm all about the drugs. Bring them on.
Words on shirts- I don't mind these either, but I do wish there was more stuff that was just plain or patterned.
I cannot agree more on strongly disliking sayings that sexualize infants (even just ones like, why are you talking about my baby dating in 30 years on her onesie?? We have sooo much more to worry about before that)....and I'm +16379633977 to the no (or very minimal) words on clothing, just posting this little gem for ya
Haha @mrszoess I napped from like...8-10, then 2-6! Lol it'll be nice whenever I can get this baby and I to both STTN in the future! Until then (er, really prob til next week) I'm saving sick days
Re: Unpopular Opinion 9/8/16
I think the whole "I'm so emotional about my kid's first day of school!" thing gets more blown out of proportion every year and people need to get it together. Every 3rd post on my Facebook is from mom friends posting about crying and being a mess because their kids are going to school. That's not cute! Then the next day they're posting "day 2, now my kid sobbed and didn't want me to leave!" Well, shocker, they're picking up on your behavior! I'm not saying not to feel how you feel, or that you need to be an emotionless stone, but I don't sobbing and making your kid think going to school is scary or bad is doing anybody any favors.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
@MRSCORKER I'm with you. Most of my baby's clothes have something written on them and I couldn't care less. It's cute when they're little and they won't be little for long. I'm not going to stress about what he's wearing, there will be plenty of that later in his life. Lol
"Mama's Little....."
"Daddy's _____"
I can't.
I know this is just how I was brought up- my mom and I had this discussion since my youngest sister is now a freshman in college and everyone keeps asking her if she's sad and she keeps saying 'nope!'. My dd is 3, and yeah every now and then I'll see a picture of her as a baby but it really doesn't make me emotional more then saying 'aw she was such a cute baby' to my dh.
The funny thing is I was going on this rant to dh because a close friend kept sending me picture after picture of her dd because she was starting kindergarten the next day. It was driving me nuts (not that I would tell her that) so I was on my soapbox but then my dh (who is a mush ball) was all sad about our dd going to preschool. Oops!
I also look back at baby pictures and I do wonder where the last 3 years went. They went fast. And it's pretty damn amazing how much your baby grows in its first year of life. They go from being completely dependent on you, to being able to run away and say no to you, all in 12 months. It's insane. With that said I don't dwell on them. I love the moments and cherish them! And I look at my boy with such pride at how much he has accomplished in 3 years and how amazing he is in this current right now stage.
@karenbm13 I'm not a fan of relating maternity leave to vacation. My idea of vacation is somewhere warm and tropical. I am not a fan of people acting as if birth is some easy thing women do. It's fucking hard. Recovery is hard. Adjusting is hard. having a family is 100% my choice and I don't think I deserve a metal for it. But my maternity leave isn't a vacation. It's a necessity.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
I think doulas are a waste of money.
I get that the entire birth experience is overwhelming, but if between you and your husband you cannot get your wishes across to the doctors/nurses/staff, theres a larger problem with your hospital/medical provider.
Also it seems like with working as much as possible to afford a baby (and going to bed at 9pm to have enough energy for it), summer has come and gone without me being able to enjoy it. I've been really sad about that! We live ten minutes from 2 gorgeous sandy beaches and I went ONCE this year. Normally I'm there like every other day! I know it's a good trade-off and all, but this was our first summer as a married couple and I hope it doesn't set any precedent for us in the years to come:(
I do have baby clothes that say things, I just don't really matter, unless they say something rude or inappropriate...
about maternity leave, I get to have 12 weeks off, and some other perks like no Overtime, not being near welding machines (with this weather it feels like hell anywhere near them) no safety shoes... but my co workers and boss get it... they haven't been rude, they are always joking about it and they blame me for their cravings.
My UO is that I actually don't like any pumpkin flavored food.... *runs and hide...*
My UO is that I dislike products going overboard on seasonal items. Sometimes it's nice, but do we really need so many pumpkin spice, candy cane, jelly bean flavored items? I guess they sell to someone though because there are more and more of these seasonal items each year. I'd also like to have a -pumpkin spice filter on my social media accounts. I'm over your pictures and messages of how you had your first PS latte or whatever.
For those of you who hate the words on baby clothes: check out primary. They are kind of on the opposite spectrum (NO words, NO patterns at all) but good high quality stuff.
Kudos for a good UO. I'm not trying to get personal here, but my guess is maybe you are a FTM? Either that or your previous baby/ies have been a piece of cake. Personally my 12 weeks with DS has left me with a degree of PTSD that is heavily coloring my current pregnancy, as well as my entire attitude toward this next baby's first 12 weeks.
I have a job that is generally totally exhausting (physically and mentally) so I can definitely understand how looking forward to a change of pace is incredibly attractive. I hope that the reality of your recovery and your time with your LO closely match what you are imagining.
ETA: +1 to doulas being a waste of $$...with the possible exception of support for a natural birth. I have never personally wanted to experience natural childbirth though so I may not have room to weigh in on this one.
@mrszoess I get the appeal of a doula. It's really hard to communicate your wants and needs when you're in a lot of pain. And your husband/support person is trying to focus on you during labor and might be freaking out. The nurses have never met you before and half the time, the doctor who delivers you will be someone you've never spoken to before. A doula is familiar with labor and delivery AND knows what you want from the experience. I think i would have benefited from a doula with my first. At the very least, she would have been a calming presence.
(Also, according to my hospital, the presence of a doula at delivery correlates with a reduction of medical interventions including epidural and c-sections and an increase in satisfaction with the birthing experience.)
Now that we're having a boy, I just sorted through all the girl clothes I saved - tons of cute patterns and simple colors from newborn to about size 3 ... then it's an explosion of Disney princesses.
Like you mentioned, I work an insane number of hours at a frustrating job where I am always on call for clients so I'm sure that colors my view as well. It is also why I'm not more active here.
On the doula subject, I get that this is often something that you either really want or think is a huge waste. For me it is less about having her there to help communicate my wishes to the doctors/nurses, and more about having extra support there for not only me but my husband. He tends to get really overwhelmed when i am in pain or sick, and I know that he will be able to use some support during labor in order to be able to support me. I am planning a med-free birth, and my doula has lots of great techniques for coping with the pain, some we learned in birth class, but I'm sure in the middle of labor I will need some reminders/suggestions on what to try next. Also, like @ignoscemihi mentioned, the presence of a doula has been show to correlate to shorter labors with less interventions, and the mother feeling more satisfied with her labor experience.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
@emt87 - I agree with you 100% and wish I had a doula for this birth for the very same reasons you are valuing yours! I want to try natural birth (I would even go for home birth if I wasn't 38 and high-risk (UO!)) and my hubs is very overwhelmed emotionally by the birth process - especially seeing me in that kind of pain. I truly would value a calming presence of a practiced doula to help soothe both my fear and pain AND my hubs' as well. Many of my friends have had home births and I have really inspired by their ability to conquer their own pain and fear during childbirth - but... they have ALL credited their doula for their success.
@CopperBoom86-I also don't qualify for FMLA. However, my doctor gave me a note excusing me for 6-8 weeks depending on the delivery (CS or Vag) and then I requested additional "personal leave" for 4-6 weeks for a total of 12 weeks. My employer still hasn't approved me, but I wonder if a letter from your OB would obligate your employer to grant at least 6-8 weeks... ?
My true UO is that I love cats and dogs are annoying and loud and smelly.
A doula would not be for me. I'm pretty good at articulating my needs in and out of pain and I know (from past experiences) that my husband manages to do an amazing job of making them known if I cant. Also, natural birth isn't really my thing, I'm all about the drugs. Bring them on.
Words on shirts- I don't mind these either, but I do wish there was more stuff that was just plain or patterned.
Vommoji. Hell no