With DS my mom thought she would have a whole room set up for him to stay over, wanted a car seat base to keep in her car, etc. I'm not sure why she assumed that would be happening for several reasons (though it's probably because she shifted me off to every grandparent/babysitter/daycare center she could while I was little):
1) I don't trust her babysitting skills enough to let my dog stay with her overnight. 2) H and I have flexible scheduling such that one (or both of us) were always home with DS, and 3) *most importantly* her live-in boyfriend is an alcoholic, chain smoking, abusive asshole.
For those of you FTMs dealing with overbearing family demanding to have the baby: needless to say, my mom has never had DS over to her house without my direct supervision, and she has survived to accept the situation.
I'm with you on the sweets @sportiegrl1213! I made banana pudding for Labor Day and in an effort to not eat all the leftovers all by myself, I took it to work. Big mistake! I've managed to sneak 2 small servings already today and I'm feeling like I might need another in a few hours!
@ibabyloveb87, i feel you on work!!! It's so hard to keep motivated! Why???? I just need to make it to the end of September! 17 more working days. That's it. I gotta keep it together!
Getting caught up because there was lots of fun work gossip this morning for me to get into!
I am also a FTM, but I already have a work trip planned for January when Baby will be about three months old. I've already decided Baby is not coming with me. Either he will stay with my parents, or my mom will come and stay with DH and watch him there. The trip will be Wednesday afternoon to Sunday morning, so that's a few days. However, it's a trip where I'll be riding on a bus overnight for 12 hours to Washington DC with a bunch of high school-aged kids and their chaperones. Ain't no way I'm lugging a three-month-old and all of his stuff on a bus full of germy teens to spend three freezing days in the DC winter.
So. I'll be one of those moms who leaves her kid with the grandparents/DH for a few days.
However, I also feel like I'll be okay with this, because my job lets me bring Baby to work with me every day until he's a year old. So he'll be with me all day, every day, basically. So it's not like I'll not get to see him for a long time, and then have to leave him for the trip. I think if I had to put him in daycare or have someone watch him during the week, then the weekend days would mean so much more.
So I agree with all of you ladies there: spend whatever quality time with your LOs as you can and don't let anyone make you feel bad for not wanting to leave them.
My son will be 2 1/2 when my second is born and the night I spend in the hospital giving birth will be the first night I spend away from him. I haven't spent more than 4 hours at a time away from him since he was born, and that hasn't happened all that much. My parents and in-laws always offer to watch him when they're in town, but they live a four hour plane ride away so they don't visit much and I feel bad making someone else deal with my son's moods. My in-laws bought a condo here (a 15-minute walk or 3-minute drive from our house), so I'm sure he'll start having sleepovers there and I think I'll be a lot less unwilling to accept help with baby # 2.
When my son was little, I didn't want to be away from him at all, but by the time he was a year old, I was so overwhelmed that we ended up jumping on a temporary, part-time nanny share - I dropped him off with a friend's nanny for four hours three days a week for six magical weeks. I got so much done in those 12 hours a week. Our house was clean! We had elaborate dinners and homemade desserts! I didn't want to cry at the end of every day! I sure do miss it.
I leave DD with my inlaws at least 1-2x a month. That being said, I didn't let her stay anywhere until she was 1+ year. She lives down the street though so I could literally walk over if I was worried.
I guess I'm a giant baby because my daughter is almost 6 and has never spent the night anywhere but home. My parents even live next door and I still don't want her anywhere but here. I 1000% trust my parents, but I just feel like she's my kid and my responsibility so I rarely leave her them. However, I'm a SAHM, so maybe that's why.
DD stays at my parents house quite a bit. I SAH during the week, but I work weekends and my mom watches her. Sometimes it's at our house, sometimes it at my parents 45 minutes away. It's hard, but it's also nice to have that time to myself. I say do whatever works best for you. If people want to watch the baby I just thank them and tell them I'll let them know when we need help. Although for the first few months I had a really hard time leaving her. So hard that I went from full time at work to just weekends. Basically, do whatever works best for you
I am totally okay with an overnight here and there with DS1. But I don't like a whole weekend away. I try and save it for when we have something special planned. I also try and do later nights out so we have the day with DS if we plan on going out at night.
With that said, DS has had a lot of time with my parents due to my complications with the pregnancy and he is loving it. I am grateful we have so much family to depend on.
Speaking of sweets....yesterday before my appointment, I had a donut. Actually, just half of one! See that nice floral frosting? It was a blueberry donut + lemon frosting... I hate half of one.
At my appointment the doc was like "ummm, what did you have before coming here?" hahhaha. DH was like "oooooooo, BUSTED!!!!"
She said she could totally see the sugar in my urine sample. I think it's wild! I had a tiny piece!
@Kaessi@NicholeL16 I've been getting into this debate with my mother and mother in-law, on two different ends of the spectrum.
October 26, a musician DH and I like is coming to a local bar. MIL doesn't think I'd want to leave LO for a few hours. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine (I left DD for a few hours when she was like 14 or 15 days old to see 4th of July fireworks, so that's what I'm basing this on), but if I feel like staying home I will.
In February, we have a 9-day Disney World trip planned. My mom is bound and determined to keep this LO so DH, DD, and I can go by ourselves. It crossed my mind, but I'm planning on breastfeeding and Disney has no where for me to store my milk. I'll still have to "stop and feed him" to at least pump and dump (which sounds like a terrible idea) so I'm figuring I might as well take him with us. At least when I stop to feed him, I'll actually be feeding him. My mom isn't so sure I'll still be breast feeding solely based on the fact that she wasn't with me at 4 months. She keeps talking like it's already decided and he's staying home with her, which makes me more bound and determined to keep him with us.
People just don't seem to understand sometimes that these are our children and we will decide when we'd like to part with them, and for how long, and under what circumstances.
Countdown to Baby H! Mommy to Elizabeth (6/18/09), preemie at 34 weeks
Speaking of sweets....yesterday before my appointment, I had a donut. Actually, just half of one! See that nice floral frosting? It was a blueberry donut + lemon frosting... I hate half of one.
At my appointment the doc was like "ummm, what did you have before coming here?" hahhaha. DH was like "oooooooo, BUSTED!!!!"
She said she could totally see the sugar in my urine sample. I think it's wild! I had a tiny piece!
I'm sorry did you write something after that picture cause my drool blurred it all out
Speaking of sweets....yesterday before my appointment, I had a donut. Actually, just half of one! See that nice floral frosting? It was a blueberry donut + lemon frosting... I hate half of one.
At my appointment the doc was like "ummm, what did you have before coming here?" hahhaha. DH was like "oooooooo, BUSTED!!!!"
She said she could totally see the sugar in my urine sample. I think it's wild! I had a tiny piece!
Don't feel bad @annabenanna, I had boring cereal this morning before my appt and my doctor asked the same thing cause there was a little sugar in mine too, so if you're gonna have sugar in your urine at least it was from something extra yummy!
Nurse: "Soooo.....did you eat right before you came in?"
Me: "I mean, like, two hours ago."
Nurse: "Ah. Well there's sugar in your urine and we did an extra finger prick and your sugar levels are way high. Did you take the GD test last time?"
Me: "Yes, and I passed. But um.... the sugar is probably from the cookie. Oh. I ate a cookie like an hour ago, did I forget to mention that? And. Um. The tea. I had some tea. Some sweet tea. Um. OKAY I'M LITERALLY SITTING HERE WITH MY SWEET TEA CUP EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE FOOD OR DRINKS IN HERE BUT IT TASTES SO GOOD I'M SORRY OKAY?!?!?!"
Nurse: "......."
Me: "........"
Nurse: *shrugs* "Ah, okay. It's probably from the tea then. Let's go on back to Room One."
@annabenanna - that's the exact donut I would have picked. Yum.
@annabenanna I want whatever those double layered, waffle looking ones are with frosting and (strawberries?) in the middle. Like, RIGHT. NOW.
Unrelated: I just choked on my tea, so I started coughing and I thought I was going to shoot this baby right out onto the floor. The joys of pregnancy...
It seems I desperately needed a sugar cookie covered in frosting today. The idea crossed my mind this morning & it was all I could think of until lunch. So I stopped at a local bakery to get a cookie...and came out with a dozen + a cupcake.
@F47 - When I saw what donut she picked, I thought to myself "you're doing it wrong." Whatever that monster is with strawberries and cream in the middle would've been mine!
@krzyriver@annabenanna you guys are still stronger than me! I would have eaten all the donuts and macaroons and then get mad at hubby when he would point out "do I really need another one"
I think I'll be okay with leaving the baby for date nights and such. For me, it's the demanding that people (aka- my in laws that I don't trust to keep my kid safe) are doing that bother me. I mean, they demanded that we go on vacation when the baby is 6 months old and they'll watch her. Ummm... Thanks, but we'll be making the decisions about with whom and when we'll be leaving the baby. I much prefer my parents' method: "I'll be staying at the lake house when you have the baby so I can get there quicker if you need me... But if you don't, no worries." She'll get the invite before MIL and FIL will.
@annabenanna those donuts! They look so good! It's now 8pm here and all I can think about is Dunkin lol
Yes @LGW2015! I feel ridiculous but I can't get far enough back from the front and I can barely reach around to the back... Chalk another one up to "things I never thought I'd be dealing with while pregnant..."
So, my mom is moving in with us (she's moving to NJ from NY) and going to be our primary caregiver.... I think I'll be fine leaving baby with her for a date night or overnight, but I'm super anxious to leave it with any in-laws! It will be awhile before I can let myself do that... I'm also still thinking crazy thoughts that baby will like my mother more than me, since it will be with her so often!! Plus I'm already jealous of the things my mom will get to do with it before me, because I'll be at work. I know I'm fortunate that I don't have to worry about daycare and my mother will be watching baby, but still can't quite make my brain stop finding things to worry about!!
@LMNOBaby I have those same thoughts too - that my baby will like my mom/MIL more than me since they'll be watching her while I'm at work It breaks my heart knowing I'll miss so much! I'm sure I'm worrying for nothing, but I still think about it often.
Re: Weekly Randoms 09.05.16
1) I don't trust her babysitting skills enough to let my dog stay with her overnight. 2) H and I have flexible scheduling such that one (or both of us) were always home with DS, and 3) *most importantly* her live-in boyfriend is an alcoholic, chain smoking, abusive asshole.
For those of you FTMs dealing with overbearing family demanding to have the baby: needless to say, my mom has never had DS over to her house without my direct supervision, and she has survived to accept the situation.
Getting caught up because there was lots of fun work gossip this morning for me to get into!
I am also a FTM, but I already have a work trip planned for January when Baby will be about three months old. I've already decided Baby is not coming with me. Either he will stay with my parents, or my mom will come and stay with DH and watch him there. The trip will be Wednesday afternoon to Sunday morning, so that's a few days. However, it's a trip where I'll be riding on a bus overnight for 12 hours to Washington DC with a bunch of high school-aged kids and their chaperones. Ain't no way I'm lugging a three-month-old and all of his stuff on a bus full of germy teens to spend three freezing days in the DC winter.
So. I'll be one of those moms who leaves her kid with the grandparents/DH for a few days.
However, I also feel like I'll be okay with this, because my job lets me bring Baby to work with me every day until he's a year old. So he'll be with me all day, every day, basically. So it's not like I'll not get to see him for a long time, and then have to leave him for the trip. I think if I had to put him in daycare or have someone watch him during the week, then the weekend days would mean so much more.
So I agree with all of you ladies there: spend whatever quality time with your LOs as you can and don't let anyone make you feel bad for not wanting to leave them.
When my son was little, I didn't want to be away from him at all, but by the time he was a year old, I was so overwhelmed that we ended up jumping on a temporary, part-time nanny share - I dropped him off with a friend's nanny for four hours three days a week for six magical weeks. I got so much done in those 12 hours a week. Our house was clean! We had elaborate dinners and homemade desserts! I didn't want to cry at the end of every day! I sure do miss it.
Me: 28 DH: 27
With that said, DS has had a lot of time with my parents due to my complications with the pregnancy and he is loving it. I am grateful we have so much family to depend on.
At my appointment the doc was like "ummm, what did you have before coming here?" hahhaha. DH was like "oooooooo, BUSTED!!!!"
She said she could totally see the sugar in my urine sample. I think it's wild! I had a tiny piece!
October 26, a musician DH and I like is coming to a local bar. MIL doesn't think I'd want to leave LO for a few hours. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine (I left DD for a few hours when she was like 14 or 15 days old to see 4th of July fireworks, so that's what I'm basing this on), but if I feel like staying home I will.
In February, we have a 9-day Disney World trip planned. My mom is bound and determined to keep this LO so DH, DD, and I can go by ourselves. It crossed my mind, but I'm planning on breastfeeding and Disney has no where for me to store my milk. I'll still have to "stop and feed him" to at least pump and dump (which sounds like a terrible idea) so I'm figuring I might as well take him with us. At least when I stop to feed him, I'll actually be feeding him. My mom isn't so sure I'll still be breast feeding solely based on the fact that she wasn't with me at 4 months. She keeps talking like it's already decided and he's staying home with her, which makes me more bound and determined to keep him with us.
People just don't seem to understand sometimes that these are our children and we will decide when we'd like to part with them, and for how long, and under what circumstances.
Mommy to Elizabeth (6/18/09), preemie at 34 weeks
Team Blue!
Two appointments ago I had the same thing.
Nurse: "Soooo.....did you eat right before you came in?"
Me: "I mean, like, two hours ago."
Nurse: "Ah. Well there's sugar in your urine and we did an extra finger prick and your sugar levels are way high. Did you take the GD test last time?"
Me: "Yes, and I passed. But um.... the sugar is probably from the cookie. Oh. I ate a cookie like an hour ago, did I forget to mention that? And. Um. The tea. I had some tea. Some sweet tea. Um. OKAY I'M LITERALLY SITTING HERE WITH MY SWEET TEA CUP EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE FOOD OR DRINKS IN HERE BUT IT TASTES SO GOOD I'M SORRY OKAY?!?!?!"
Nurse: "......."
Me: "........"
Nurse: *shrugs* "Ah, okay. It's probably from the tea then. Let's go on back to Room One."
Baby A (via IUI due to MFI): Sep 2016 born at 35+6
Unrelated: I just choked on my tea, so I started coughing and I thought I was going to shoot this baby right out onto the floor. The joys of pregnancy...
@MorganL925, yes it was so good! I love blueberry everything!
@f47, girl that strawberry one is an office favorite. Its so big too! But so good!
back anymore. It's getting super awkward
I much prefer my parents' method: "I'll be staying at the lake house when you have the baby so I can get there quicker if you need me... But if you don't, no worries." She'll get the invite before MIL and FIL will.
@annabenanna those donuts! They look so good! It's now 8pm here and all I can think about is Dunkin lol
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
I'm also still thinking crazy thoughts that baby will like my mother more than me, since it will be with her so often!! Plus I'm already jealous of the things my mom will get to do with it before me, because I'll be at work. I know I'm fortunate that I don't have to worry about daycare and my mother will be watching baby, but still can't quite make my brain stop finding things to worry about!!