Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Breastfeeding
TTC 9/2013
BFP#1: 9/28/2013, EDD 5/28/13, MC confirmed 10/15/13, D&C 10/17/13
BFP#2: 1/10/2014, EDD 9/19/2014
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Me (32) DH (34) | |
BFP #1 4/5/12 | Natural m/c on 4/18/12 (6w1d)
BFP #2 8/23/12 | DS born 5/3/13
BFP #3 12/6/15 | DD born 8/23/16
BFP #4 2/22/19 | EDD 10/28/19
@kwilliams3402, there is a very good Facebook Exclusively Pumping support group.
Plus side? he was exhausted after and almost slept through the night. (11pm, 2am, 7am - really that's only one midnight wake, I'll take it.)
At the Thursday visit, I was still really red from the mastitis and very tender. The LC got me switched to a different antibiotic and referred me to a Mammography MD to make sure it wasn't an abscess before the long weekend. Luckily it was not, so that was great.
But now I'm almost 7 days out from the onset of mastitis and fhe duct is still clogged. I've tried literally everything I can find to clear it/remove a milk blister short of DH sucking the clog out (even though I asked him to at a point of total frustration, and he gave me a hard no).
My milk supply is already out of control and now LO is refusing the breast and bottle, as well as showing way more signs of gas, reflux, and irritability. I suspect the antibiotics. Last night I slept a total of 25 minutes.
I've been trying so hard, and I just feel so defeated. I wanted to breastfeed so badly and I am starting to hate it. I hate how much it gives the baby anxiety, not to mention physical distress. I hate that I'm still in so much pain and we're almost at 7 weeks pp. I am scheduled to see a Lactation Consultant once a week until something gets better. Here's hoping it might.
I don't even get on this thread anymore because I get so jealous of everyone that can nurse in public, or even nurse in peace. I can't nurse without it sounding like I am torturing our child... it breaks my heart to pieces.
End rant.
Eta: We are trying to give the baby probiotics in case they might help with the gastrointestinal distress. Fingers crossed that the poor kid can get some relief.
@KJ1416 Let me know if you need advice--I've done it all and I think I finally broke my clog last night. I probably tried 20 different things so give me a shout if you're still stuck.
I think what finally worked for me was a combination of pounding lots of water, taking ibuprofen, then taking a hot shower, then soaking the breast in hot water in the sink + massage, then dangle nursing with baby's chin pointed towards the clog (this required some very awkward positioning), then pumping (with the electric pump on max). I wanted that thing out so bad.
Sending you so much good luck!!!!
Is there anybody who can give your LO a bottle for a few nights and you just focus on resting and getting up to pump?? It might really be what you need to heal and rebuild yourself regardless if you continue down this path or not. And either way girl - you are a winner in my book!!!
Also, how do you know if you have a clogged duct? When I hand express my left side I used to get milk beading at 3 spots, n I w only at 1 or sometimes 2. Could this be a sign of a clogged duct?
Breastfeeding is not going great here. Because of E's prematurity we were released from the hospital with instructions to give 4 fortified bottles per day (breastmilk with a scoop of Neosure powder for extra calories). He has had two weigh-ins since and isn't gaining as much as he should so now we have to do 6 fortified bottles per day. That means we only get to nurse about twice per day, and his latch keeps getting worse and worse. I'm going to see an LC this week, but I'm really afraid he may be giving up breastfeeding.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
TTC 9/2013
BFP#1: 9/28/2013, EDD 5/28/13, MC confirmed 10/15/13, D&C 10/17/13
BFP#2: 1/10/2014, EDD 9/19/2014
@Nikkoli98 Best of luck. It is for sure the hardest trial of motherhood that I've had yet, but I think I'm cleared for now. However, the LC has said that I'm definitely a candidate for repeat clogged ducts, and to use a hot compress at every nursing. Yikes. I also am going to talk to the LC this week about taking lecithin, which can thin the milk (but can also cause depression, hello, PP Mental Health Thread, I'll be over there soon!).
@jkershaw2013
Good question. Here is what I did wrong that caused my clogs (pretty much everything):
1. Slept in a bra that was a little too tight
3. Have an oversupply and waited too long between nursing without pumping "a little edge off"
4. I have large breasts, and was nervous about baby being able to breathe, so I pressed down on the breast near his nose while he nursed
5. I also have overactive letdown, so sometimes he would pop off after 2-6 minutes and I couldn't get him to go back on, so I would just go to sleep (thinking along the lines of the "supply and demand" principle, that if he didn't take it,i wouldn't make more)
6. Letting baby sleep on my chest a lot with his elbows pressing on certain parts of the boob
My having an oversupply is apparently the biggest factor, but these other things certainly didnt help. Basically, WHOOPS!
I hope this helps you and anyone else prevent any clogged ducts!!
ETA: I haven't given up yet!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0070767DU/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER