I wish someone told me....

mrszoess · September 2016

since we are all pretty much at the finish line...what's one thing you wish someone told you about pregnancy that you've learned on this journey?

i feel like everyone hypes the peeing all the time and the nausea but nobody warns you about the pressure and lightening crotch!!!

MRSCORKER · September 2016

I don't necessarily wish someone told me because there's nothing I could have done to prevent it but I had no idea that pregnancy induced carpel tunnel was a thing.

mrszoess · September 2016

same. there's nothing we can do about this stuff but at least give me a heads up I would have a
claw for 8 freaking months

JennJenn81713 · September 2016

Me, too, @MRSCORKER. And just how painful it is.

Like...I don't know if we'll pursue another pregnancy after little guy is born because I've had such a difficult time with the CT.

MRSCORKER · September 2016

JennJenn81713 said:

Me, too, @MRSCORKER. And just how painful it is. Like...I don't know if we'll pursue another pregnancy after little guy is born because I've had such a difficult time with the CT.

It's brutal! I can't wait to feel the fingers on my left hand again!

von1976 · September 2016

You will sweat, not glow.

mrszoess · September 2016

@von1976 and the sweat will come from unexpected places

JennJenn81713 · September 2016

MRSCORKER said:

JennJenn81713 said:

Me, too, @MRSCORKER. And just how painful it is. Like...I don't know if we'll pursue another pregnancy after little guy is born because I've had such a difficult time with the CT.

It's brutal! I can't wait to feel the fingers on my left hand again!

Me, too. I'm barely sleeping because of it and it's definitely limited me in how much I'm able to do to get ready for the baby! Very frustrating.

strickland8052 · September 2016

Everyone talks like the first trimester nausea is the worst part. I feel like the third trimester insomnia, aches and pains, gas, constipation, pressure, etc. etc is way worse than the first trimester!

von1976 · September 2016

strickland8052 said:

Everyone talks like the first trimester nausea is the worst part. I feel like the third trimester insomnia, aches and pains, gas, constipation, pressure, etc. etc is way worse than the first trimester!

I feel like that has a lot to do with how bad your first trimester nausea was. Since mine lasted until the start of the third trimester... I don't know that I would do this pregnancy thing again. Third tri has been a cakewalk comparatively.

NicholeL16 · September 2016

I wish someone had prepared me for how
stressful it can be. After I had some spotting at 9 weeks I turned into a nervous wreck. It got better once I started feeling him move but I never stop wondering if he is ok in there.

Kittens22 · September 2016

I wish someone had warned me of the comments and questions I would get... I mean, I knew it existed, but not to it's REAL extent. I like to think that I could have mentally prepared myself more.

Oh, and THE MONEY you NEED to spend- even on the most basic of stuff- SAVE, SAVE, SAVE in advance!!!!!

ibabyloveb87 · September 2016

I'm with @NicholeL16 on the stress. Nobody told me that the worries never go away, they just change with how far along you get. And I know there will be a whole new set of worries once the baby is here and as he grows. Here's to worrying for the rest of our lives I guess!

jennielu · September 2016

Same @NicholeL16 and @ibabyloveb87. The anxiety for me has been the worst, on and off during all three trimesters. For me the mental toll is more often worse than the physical...

CopperBoom86 · September 2016

+1 for how much a baby will cost, specifically up front. I feel like all the talk of money has been how much we'll spend over the years in diapers and whatnot, but nothing about basically building a room for her from scratch. It's only logical, but I guess I just didn't think about it.

(TW because this might trigger some of you who are having particularly difficult pregnancies to punch me in the face) But I wish someone had told me pregnany is not always super-duper hard. I expected so much shit and have had possibly the easiest pregnancy ever. At times, I've felt panicked thinking there was something wrong because I wasn't puking my guts up or growing hair out of my chin or whatever.

scostel2 · September 2016

This may make me sound super naive but I wish someone had told me that people can still be shitty about maternity leave. My colleagues are generally happy for me but people act like maternity leave is some sort of extended vacation taken in order to screw your coworkers. My supervisors haven't done a great job planning for my leave, despite my best efforts, and now that we're in the home stretch everyone seems to be resenting me for it. I know it's not my fault but it still sucks!

mothernorth · September 2016

I wish I would have known how much more painful subsequent pregnancies would be...

mrszoess · September 2016

@copperboom86 I feel the same way. but I feel like I'll "pay for" my easy pregnancy somehow...then I almost feel like I earned it after (TW) the two losses I had.

TurtleMomma · September 2016

AllyTheKid said:

I wish I would have known how much more painful subsequent pregnancies would be...

This. Absolutely this.

ball4768 · September 2016

@AllyTheKid @TurtleMomma So much this.

TurtleMomma · September 2016

Also, pregnancy nursing is hard. It takes a lot of love and patience. It is greatly rewarding, but it's hard won.

serenaxo84 · September 2016

I wish someone told me to make sure I had short term disability. I'm pretty young 32 and had 1 healthy pregnancy, I did not expect this pregnancy to be so hard. I didn't expect to have to have hospital stays or have to leave work early. So naive.

i also wish someone told me to not give a flying fuck about what people say!

kelliott09 · September 2016

AllyTheKid said:

I wish I would have known how much more painful subsequent pregnancies would be...

No truer words were ever spoken. I just said this a few days ago. I was never this uncomfortable with my other two and I can't, for the life of me, figure out why her movements are so painful. She better be huge because my boys never felt this way!

LauraPCOS · September 2016

MRSCORKER said:

JennJenn81713 said:

Me, too, @MRSCORKER. And just how painful it is. Like...I don't know if we'll pursue another pregnancy after little guy is born because I've had such a difficult time with the CT.

It's brutal! I can't wait to feel the fingers on my left hand again!

Ditto!! Except I can't wait for the pain to stop and be able to open my hands fully! Any idea how long after pregnancy it goes back to normal?

MRSCORKER · September 2016

LauraPCOS said:

MRSCORKER said:

JennJenn81713 said:

Me, too, @MRSCORKER. And just how painful it is. Like...I don't know if we'll pursue another pregnancy after little guy is born because I've had such a difficult time with the CT.

It's brutal! I can't wait to feel the fingers on my left hand again!

Ditto!! Except I can't wait for the pain to stop and be able to open my hands fully! Any idea how long after pregnancy it goes back to normal?

No clue. My chiropractor said he's had patients who say it went away as soon as they delivered. My coworker said it took a couple of months for hers to go away completely.

mizzkbrat · September 2016

The discharge. Oh the discharge is so gross.

And I completely agree with you @CopperBoom86. I have a feeling I'm gonna pay for it during labor though.

AshleyGemini24 · September 2016

TW

I wish someone had told me how stressful it can be after having multiple losses. How you constsnlty worry about another loss. Even only weeks away from delivery.

mamaklee · September 2016

How much sex I'd want to have this time?! I was on pelvic rest almost the whole time with my first so no reference but holy libido.

Michi1382 · September 2016

I wish someone would have told me like @AllyTheKid said how hard subsequent pregnancies can be. My first one was beautiful. This one has been the opposite to the point that it's making me question a third baby.

Also, I wish someone would have told me how painful Sciatica is and to get to a chiropractor as soon as the pain begins so that you're not limping and googling reasons.

Schell2013 · September 2016

Ditto discharge. Nobody told me there was a possibility of needing to wear a pad for 2 months before my baby came and up to a month after depending on PP bleeding. Seriously. Ugh

OrangeEv · September 2016

I wish someone told me that if you have an autoimmune condition that it could very well flare up when you get pregnant. I only ever heard that pregnancy could magically make it better.
No, it got way worse.
It is bad enough that I would also consider making this my last pregnancy.

NoraAurora · September 2016

sorry @orangeev

my old boss's RA disappeared after her first pregnancy, and then after her second it came back with a vengeance unlike anything she'd experienced previously. Maybe baby 2 is the answer for you?

I mean, if it can't get any worse....

Hope for those of you dealing with carpal tunnel: I had it with DS and I'm at 36 and a half weeks and it still hasn't shown up.

Each pregnancy really can be so so different, guys. Hopefully for you it is better different & not worse (if you do choose to try again).

UponAStar16 · September 2016

Thanks @NoraAurora for some hope that carpal tunnel *might* not plague me if I'm lucky enough to get to do this again. Although I know there's nothing I could have done about it really, I wish someone would have told me about the pain (not just tired swollen feet and cravings) and that it can be normal to be sleepless not because of the baby kicking, but because of carpal tunnel waking you up cryingso much that you may dread bedtime even if you're exhausted.

In terms of something I could have done differently though, I wish someone told me that it's ok to give myself a break even if I "can" do something based on how I feel and that my doctor ok'd it. Like, not to guilt myself into making "long" (2+ hour) car rides to visit people "while I still could" because even if I thought I felt up to it, I'd pay for it later. Even if other people who were pregnant have done it and seemed fine. As I say this I think I'm going to follow my own advice and cancel some plans for next weekend, ha

sportiegrl1213 · September 2016

@CopperBoom86 I'm right there with you. I really shouldn't complain about anything, like exhaustion or slight cramping. Besides my dehydration episode, my pregnancy has gone above what I expected it to be. BUT like @mrszoess said, I'm afraid I'll have a horrible delivery or something will go wrong. Like it was all too good too be true. *Knocking on wood* that it continues to be smooth sailing.

KarenBM13 · September 2016

Kittens22 said:

I wish someone had warned me of the comments and questions I would get... I mean, I knew it existed, but not to it's REAL extent. I like to think that I could have mentally prepared myself more.

Oh, and THE MONEY you NEED to spend- even on the most basic of stuff- SAVE, SAVE, SAVE in advance!!!!!

+1 for this. I guess people tried to warn me, but I just did not understand how much autonomy you give up. Never before in my adult life have people felt it was appropriate to openly comment on my body or question my food choices.

mrszoess · September 2016

yes to echo the whole "you can say anything to a pregnant woman" I understand people worry, but just because they've had ether GD or preeclampsia or whatever doesn't mean every pregnant person will get
it so let me have my ice cream. CAN I LIVE?

kmvisioli · September 2016

+1 to subsequent pregnancies being more painful! I assumed this time would be basically the same as my first (magical, beautiful, nearly symptom-free) pregnancy, but instead I'm crying wishing they would stop moving because it hurts so much. Granted there are two in there.

CopperBoom86 · September 2016

mizzkbrat said:

And I completely agree with you @CopperBoom86. I have a feeling I'm gonna pay for it during labor though.

So much this. It's my greatest fear at this point. Not the pain- I can take the pain. I fear complications. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it!

sjo_thetwins · September 2016

I feel like I don't have anything to add to this thread because of the twin thing. It's not like anyone could have really warned me about the complications of two, when you go in expecting one. However, all of the twin moms that I DO know have memory loss or something because they all made sure to tell me that feeling them both move at the same time and carrying them was the best thing ever. It is not the best thing ever. I can think of other best things. I love them and I am grateful for them and I can't WAIT to have them on the outside, but being pregnant with two babies at the same time seriously has not been the best thing ever.

mamabearks1012 · September 2016

@CopperBoom86 and @mizzkbrat I feel the same way. Have had it really easy so far, so I'm worried that there will be a problem too, but I'm sure we will be fine. A second pregnancy, we may not be so lucky.

LauraPCOS · September 2016

CopperBoom86 said:

mizzkbrat said:

And I completely agree with you @CopperBoom86. I have a feeling I'm gonna pay for it during labor though.

So much this. It's my greatest fear at this point. Not the pain- I can take the pain. I fear complications. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it!

Yup! I'm so freaked out of the labour, again not the pain but for me the pushing, that I have broken down in sobs because I don't think I can do it. And then I'm convinced I'm going to end up bleeding too much because my iron is a bit low.

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