Stupid science question - I heard you can damage your cervix if you push too soon in labor. Can I damage my cervix from pushing poo to hard before labor? TMI - but I've had some nearly as big as a baby... Haha
@emmaaa I am not sure on that one! Our electric sterilizer was a generic brand- I think First Years but it took up a lot of counter space. We used DrBrown bottles with DS1 and plan on using them for DS2 so I am going to get the mircorwave sterilizer that DrBrown makes. You can also use the microwave steam bags while you figure out what bottles you want and then just order from Amazon...or just boil water in a big pot to sterilize.
Also- I don't know how true this rings for BFing babies...because I only lasted a few weeks with DS1 but when I switched him to bottles he definitely had an adjustment period taking the bottle, but my friend who is a pediatric OT said to give it a good week before we switched bottles to see if he would get the hang of it...and he did. A lot of my BFing girlfriends used Dr.Browns when they went back to work and pumped.
In regards to what to call privates. Child predators normally target kids who call their privates cutesy names. They don't want to go after children who will tell their parents, "so and so touched my vagina/penis". Just something to think about.
I'm not trying to discount anything anyone has said, but really I think getting into thinking we can protect our kids from predators by teaching them one word over another is optimistic. Predators can go after anyone, usually it's someone the child knows anyway (unfortunately such as family members), etc...this includes teenagers who definitely know the correct terms or infants who aren't even verbal. I do think what's important is they typically select children they believe will not tell anyone, rather than if they think the kid will use the correct term or not...so this fits exactly with those of you saying to at least leave it open to discussion rather than shaming them or stopping them from ever talking about their genitals. Lol side note, my friend was telling me about her toddler asking why her (my friend's) boobs are so big...if my kid ever asks I think I'll have to say, that was all you!
@uponastar16 I agree. We lived next to a predator and he always chose the people he didn't think would tell. I do think the correct anatomy is good to know- so that if something does ever happen you can have a clear indicator of what actually happened.
This conversation has taken a turn that makes me want to keep this baby safe in my belly forever. @serenaxo84 I'm sorry you lived next to a predator. Growing up you mean? Eek.
@emmaaa No, it shouldn't matter, as long as it's good quality. Sterilization is a physical/chemical process. As long as the bottles fit and the contraption actually works it doesn't matter. The only thing I could think of is if you have bottles made out of different materials. Some materials require more heat/pressure to clean. I am assuming any standard bottle should work with any standard sterilizer.
@strickland8052 I think these are two different things. The cervix gets damaged during labor because you are pushing the baby through it even though there's no space. The intestines don't run through the cervix so bowel movements shouldn't affect it. I guess it's possible aggressive squeezing of the entire abdomen might have an effect? But I doubt that.
With breast feeding I would time 20 minutes on one size then switch to other side usually put a ribbon on my bra for the side I finished on that's the side you start on the next time. My son was a lazy feeder he used to pass out my daughter was similar but rubbing her feet usually woke her back up.
@LauraPCOS just sit on the toilet and squeeze it on the vag to rinse. You'll want to have mildly warm water (NOT hot and NOT cold). I would pee, rinse then dab dry gently.
@chriscasey33 Yes, you would most likely notice it leaking later on. It's not a one-and-done big gush, but several small ones over a period of time. For most people anyway, I am sure a few people have experienced a cinematic burst of pant-soaking amniotic fluid before... but it's not the norm.
@sjo_thetwins Yes ma'am, they will administer a local to numb you first before inserting the big needle, and it's not bad at all from my experience The local was just like a pinch, and the epi needle was just pressure. They only had to stick me once, and I had no problems.
@chriscasey33 with my first my water broke and then I showered and when I dried off I still was getting wet all below the waist lol. It keeps gushing with each contraction ! It's not just one whoosh, like you think it will be. It's a lot of water lol.
@chriscasey33 mine broke in the tub, didn't notice and I kept thinking I was just peeing myself a bit all the time cause her head acted like a cork and not much came out at a time. I learned this when they were trying to break my water and couldn't cause nothing was there to break. I have no idea how long I went with next to no water. I feel like such an idiot for being so oblivious, cause my contractions then didn't feel any different than my normal aches and pains.
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@chriscasey33 Since BTDT mom's answered your question, I thought I'd share something else that was interesting. At my prenatal class, the nurse mentioned the possibility of your water breaking while you're asleep, and considering how far along you'll be, it won't be unheard of if you actually peed in your sleep. She said in order to know if your water actually broke or if you peed, get up and put a pad on, walk around the house for 20 minutes. If your pad is soaked, your water broke (because your body will continue to make amniotic fluids even after your water breaks, hence continued leaking), but if your pad is dry, you peed.
My water broke while I was sleeping. I actually was having a dream that it broke and boom, water breakage. You'll continue leaking (usually) so it's hard to confuse with urine. You also can't stop it with your muscles like urine.
i sterilized via microwave until DD was one and we stopped using bottles.
Just echoing what has already been said about using anatomically correct terms for children's body parts. I work as an investigator for a sexual abuse unit and I sit in on forensic interviews with children that have been sexually abused. Children who are taught the "proper" terms for their private parts are far less likely to be victims of sexual abuse. Obviously, it is not as simple as teaching them to say "penis" and they are safe. There is so much that parents need to do to keep children safe, but this helps. I have never seen a child come in for one of these interviews and use the correct terms for their private parts. I am having a boy and I'm not saying we will never say "pe pe" or something like that but in general we will use the word penis. I will have on going discussions with him about that being a private area of his body and what it is used for (as age appropriate). I talk to kids about this stuff daily so it doesn't make me uncomfortable.
We use the word penis with DS and so does his preschool but girl anatomy is less straight forward IMHO. Vagina is technically the internal part, right? And using the words clitoris and labia seems not right to me either. Maybe once I have a girl baby it will be different.
This conversation has taken a turn that makes me want to keep this baby safe in my belly forever. @serenaxo84 I'm sorry you lived next to a predator. Growing up you mean? Eek.
@orangeev- yes, he was actually a family friend for a long time and he ended up being a long time sexual abuser of his family members, sisters, niece, daughter in law. while he never raped my older sister, (thankfully) he did a lot of sexually inappropriate things. We ended up pressing charges. We obviously didn't know about his history when our family befriended his.
@ByeBabyBunting The correct anatomical term for the external female genitalia is vulva. I'm having a boy but if I were having a girl I'd probably use "vagina" and "vagina area", or something like that. I also wouldn't expect my toddler to use the word urethra.
@NicholeL16 Thanks for sharing that information. It makes me feel good about the decision we made with DS1 to call his penis exactly what it is.
Do you have other general tips stemming from your line of work? Sexual abuse is something I've (admittedly very naively) not given much thought because I have a boy and I'm expecting another. While obviously I know that both boys and girls are victims of sexual abuse, for some reason I feel like I'd be more keenly aware of the danger if I had girls.
@F47 Watch for people who seem overly interested in your child. This could be anyone, an uncle, neighbor, coach, teacher. Be cautious of people that want to take your children places or spend time with them without clear reasons. If your child is spending the night somewhere (friends, cousins, wherever) ask your child where everyone sleeps at night and if anyone comes in the room they are in after bed time. Personally, sleepovers are going to be very limited for my children. Most importantly be very present in your child's life. Child predators look for children that have a parental void.
All great info about water breaking! I feel less nervous now that I'll 'miss it.' @LauraPCOS that's a great tip about the pad and it also makes sense that your body keeps making amniotic fluid. I wondered how such a seemingly small amount could keep leaking out continuously.
@F47 Watch for people who seem overly interested in your child. This could be anyone, an uncle, neighbor, coach, teacher. Be cautious of people that want to take your children places or spend time with them without clear reasons. If your child is spending the night somewhere (friends, cousins, wherever) ask your child where everyone sleeps at night and if anyone comes in the room they are in after bed time. Personally, sleepovers are going to be very limited for my children. Most importantly be very present in your child's life. Child predators look for children that have a parental void.
This is great advice! Especially the bolded. I don't have any personal experience with these children but what we were taught was that parents who talk to their kids about appropriate touching are giving their kids the best possible protection. Just because your daughter knows where her vagina is doesn't mean she knows who is or isn't allowed to touch it. This is also important because it's actually really common for kids to sexually abuse other kids (often neither perpetrator nor victim knows it's wrong, and the perpetrator is often female at this age). If you teach your kids about appropriate touching, you teach them not only to recognize when someone has touched them inappropriately, but also when they've touched someone else inappropriately.
@books&Icecream That is very true. It is very very common for a child that has been abused to then act out on another child. This is one of the ways a lot of sexual abuse comes to light.
I also wanted to add that in my expirence what I see the most of is little girls that have been abused by a moms new boyfriend or husband. I've seen women completely blindsided when a child speaks out years after the step parent has been in the home. A child needs to be so confident in their relationship with their parent that there is nothing someone else could say or do, no threat, no scare tactic, that would keep the child from speaking up.
@Kaessi it's mostly about keeping your baby comfortable because they don't really know when they're too hot or too cold. The right temperature might help them sleep better. There's some speculation about an increased risk of SIDS if baby gets too hot, but, like most things SIDS-related, there's no conclusive evidence.
I'm afraid I'm going to look really stupid for this one, but what is the deal with needing to know the temperature in the baby's room?
Babies don't self-regulate their temperature as well as adults do, so they are more severely impacted by a room being too hot or too cold. In a 2-story house you may not realize the upstairs room could get significantly hotter or colder than downstairs. Partly a comfort and ability to fall/stay asleep concern, but also a safety issue.
Other thing to remember about the temperature is sometimes the monitors can be wrong. Mine is always wacky.
What do you rely on for temp then, or how did you find out your monitor's gauge isn't correct? Just wondering bc I was hoping the monitor's would be better than the thermostat's (also bc our upstairs thermostat is in our bedroom but the baby's room is always warmer/hotter). I'll check the binder they gave us in our class but, does anyone know the temp you're supposed to keep the baby's room at (I want to say we were told 70 or 72*)?
Re: Stupid Parenting Questions
We have a variety of bottles right now to see what kind she prefers
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
@emmaaa I am not sure on that one! Our electric sterilizer was a generic brand- I think First Years but it took up a lot of counter space. We used DrBrown bottles with DS1 and plan on using them for DS2 so I am going to get the mircorwave sterilizer that DrBrown makes. You can also use the microwave steam bags while you figure out what bottles you want and then just order from Amazon...or just boil water in a big pot to sterilize.
Also- I don't know how true this rings for BFing babies...because I only lasted a few weeks with DS1 but when I switched him to bottles he definitely had an adjustment period taking the bottle, but my friend who is a pediatric OT said to give it a good week before we switched bottles to see if he would get the hang of it...and he did. A lot of my BFing girlfriends used Dr.Browns when they went back to work and pumped.
@serenaxo84 I'm sorry you lived next to a predator. Growing up you mean? Eek.
@emmaaa No, it shouldn't matter, as long as it's good quality. Sterilization is a physical/chemical process. As long as the bottles fit and the contraption actually works it doesn't matter. The only thing I could think of is if you have bottles made out of different materials. Some materials require more heat/pressure to clean. I am assuming any standard bottle should work with any standard sterilizer.
@strickland8052 I think these are two different things. The cervix gets damaged during labor because you are pushing the baby through it even though there's no space. The intestines don't run through the cervix so bowel movements shouldn't affect it. I guess it's possible aggressive squeezing of the entire abdomen might have an effect? But I doubt that.
Also, +10000000 to @UponAStar16 's comment.
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
The nose frida people make a cool, more ergonomical version of a peri bottle called the mom washer.
Another +1 to @UponAStar16
@books&icecream is my bump crush. I heart me a science girl.
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
@AllyTheKid
thanks! This was my random thought while I was showering this morning. And I thought, I know just te group of ladies to ask!
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
i sterilized via microwave until DD was one and we stopped using bottles.
Epi didn't hurt for me either. Sweet relief.
Me: 28 DH: 27
@ByeBabyBunting The correct anatomical term for the external female genitalia is vulva. I'm having a boy but if I were having a girl I'd probably use "vagina" and "vagina area", or something like that. I also wouldn't expect my toddler to use the word urethra.
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
Do you have other general tips stemming from your line of work? Sexual abuse is something I've (admittedly very naively) not given much thought because I have a boy and I'm expecting another. While obviously I know that both boys and girls are victims of sexual abuse, for some reason I feel like I'd be more keenly aware of the danger if I had girls.
@LauraPCOS that's a great tip about the pad and it also makes sense that your body keeps making amniotic fluid. I wondered how such a seemingly small amount could keep leaking out continuously.
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
This is great advice! Especially the bolded. I don't have any personal experience with these children but what we were taught was that parents who talk to their kids about appropriate touching are giving their kids the best possible protection. Just because your daughter knows where her vagina is doesn't mean she knows who is or isn't allowed to touch it. This is also important because it's actually really common for kids to sexually abuse other kids (often neither perpetrator nor victim knows it's wrong, and the perpetrator is often female at this age). If you teach your kids about appropriate touching, you teach them not only to recognize when someone has touched them inappropriately, but also when they've touched someone else inappropriately.
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
I also wanted to add that in my expirence what I see the most of is little girls that have been abused by a moms new boyfriend or husband. I've seen women completely blindsided when a child speaks out years after the step parent has been in the home. A child needs to be so confident in their relationship with their parent that there is nothing someone else could say or do, no threat, no scare tactic, that would keep the child from speaking up.