Soooo are there restrictions for joining the private group? I haven't been around the past few days but I have been trying to keep up and love tit. I am also not sure I'm "regular" enough to be with the popular crowd...
That's so awesome @Xstatic333 and @NiceyMeany ; I love you bishes in this group, but having a friend IRL going through the same thing is invaluable. Mine is 3 weeks ahead of me, so she's this constant window into the future...
@Xstatic3333@poetryandoceans yeah, I have a couple of IRL friends who live back home who are KU, but this girl lives in my city and we hang out a lot. She's one of my FAVORITE people and I can't wait to be on maternity leave at the same time and have our kids hang out together!
YES! I am also so excited for this. Another cute thing is that H is going to take a few weeks of FMLA after I go back to work, and he has a paternity leave buddy lined up! Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that.
@NiceyMeany I just found out a friend of mine is due 3 days after me with twins so I know the feeling! It's great having someone you already know going through the same thing.
T was awesome till 3. 2 was a breeze, she' was just easy going. I have to say I was pretty cocky that my kid was just not going to have the tantrums or attitude. The week before the turned 3 a switch flipped and she became a monster. Not exaggerating when I say that every day was wretched. She's a month away from 4 now and finally I feel like I'm getting my sweet girl back. She has an attitude still (she called me Toots last night during an argument) but she takes no so much easier. Instead of a tantrum she tries to use her toddler logic on me but accepts my answer without a breakdown.
BTW, husband and I did make it out to our September Fest today. We were sitting in the live music section and baby girl was kicking so much!!! Not sure if she liked it or hated it, but I LOVED it!!
@Gretchypoo That is so exciting! Ever since that first somersault I felt, I keep anxiously awaiting a repeat... it happened so fast and I was so shocked! I cannot wait until we are all feeling the babies move regularly!
GUYS GUYS GUYS I just found out that one of my really good friends is KU, and she is due THREE DAYS BEFORE ME! I'm so excited I could puke!
Yay! How fun!
TW--Loss mentioned-- When I told one of my best friends who I've known since pre-school that I was pregnant, she told me that she was too and I was so excited! She was about 3 weeks less far a long than I am, but unfortunately she lost the baby right before her 8 week appointment. I was so sad for her, but she's doing good, and her and her husband are planning on trying again soon. I would love to have babies so close in age with a good friend!
GUYS GUYS GUYS I just found out that one of my really good friends is KU, and she is due THREE DAYS BEFORE ME! I'm so excited I could puke!
Yay! How fun!
TW--Loss Mentioned-- When I told one of my best friends who I've known since pre-school that I was pregnant, she told me that she was too and I was so excited! She was about 3 weeks less far a long than I am, but unfortunately she lost the baby right before her 8 week appointment. I was so sad for her, but she's doing good, and her and her husband are planning on trying again soon. I would love to have babies so close in age with a good friend!
I just realized my response to your exciting post was kind of a downer, sorry about that!!! I'm so glad you get to share this time with a good friend though, that's so special and fun!
OMG GUYS I JUST FELT THE BABY!!!! I was in the tub and I freaked out and cried. So exciting!
Yay! I think I might have felt it last night. Felt like a little twitch but I wasn't sure if it was the baby or a muscle twitching. So excited for when I know for sure if it's the baby! Haha
@FishyMom Yeah I know how you feel. I'm getting so close to the point where I'll have a bump and start to feel the baby, but it still feels so far away. I'm getting all excited and antsy about it. I was really bummed when my co-worker asked me if I had lost even MORE weight this evening. I was telling everyone there that I used to get pissed off when strangers would ask me if I were expecting in high school(I've always been pudgy around the middle) and now that I AM expecting I'm losing a whole bunch of weight because I can't eat all that much and don't look like I'm expecting. I can't win! LOL XD
I didn't even think to look for a mat leave buddy but that sounds amazing! Most my friends are done having kids at this point- Maybe I should start looking for mom groups in my area. Has anyone had any luck with those or is it a crapshoot?
@yogadevil I moved to LA shortly before I had my son. I had no family or friends there and was quite lonely. I joined a few mom groups as well as Stroller Strides. Both had their pros and cons, but I would definitely do it again. I met some pretty awesome ladies and even managed to become good friends with one mom.
I need to make my request to join the private group. Since my H stayed with the kids, I was on my own at the wedding I went to last night. So many people, especially drunk relatives, were rubbing and touching my stomach all night. I wasn't too happy about it, but I could tolerate that. What happened after that was something I could never tolerate. One of my cousins got sloppy hammered drunk and started groping me, it was so gross. I haven't see him in a while, but we were very close as kids, he was almost like a brother to me. This is after another relative telling him I'm pregnant too. And there's no mistaking it anyway, I look like I'm due any day now lol
Like I mean he had his hands all over my ass, boobs and crotch area. Disgusting. He's always all over my H trying to be buddies with him when he is around at family events too, but he knew he obviously wasn't there last night which makes the whole thing even nastier. I was trying to show some other relatives some pictures on my phone of H and our kids and he literally took my phone and threw it across the room. Then everyone was signing a guest book thing for my other cousin (the bride) and her new H. He started scribbling all over it, ruining it, it looked like something my kids would do as a drawing except my kids would have done better.
So I told the rest of my family I was leaving to go back to the hotel specifically to get away from this particular cousin (and explained why even though it was completely obvious) and they started pushing him towards me saying I needed to make sure I got him back safely. I tried to tell them I didn't want to do that but they were all so drunk no one cared and kept insisting I do it. So I spent the rest of my time getting back to the hotel fending off advances from my own cousin. I'm so skeeved out right now. My H can tell something is wrong with me, but I can't even bring myself to tell him only because he will probably wind up in jail if he finds out this happened.
@Jab3 I'm so sorry. You did not deserve for that to happen to you. I encourage you to tell your H, or someone you can talk to, about it. You shouldn't have to be alone. I also encourage you to cut that cousin out of your life, as well as anyone who forced him on you when you clearly made your wishes known that that was unwelcome. That was absolutely not right or okay.
@Xstatic3333 co-signed. @Jab3 Your extended family needs to know those kinds of dynamics are not okay. They might all be shaking off hangovers right now, but if they don't realize, looking back in the cold light of day, how inappropriate that situation was and how they didn't help you, they need a serious conversation. And if you don't want to tell your husband right now, I can see the logic behind that, but before you are in a large family situation again (if you choose to do so; I think you'd be well within your rights not to see these people again for a long time), he needs to know the rough details so he can be on the look-out for anything weird.
@Jab3 I second talking to your H about it. I also second cutting the cousin out of your life. You were assaulted by a cousin and if you feel it necessary to involve authorities, do so.
Agreed with previous posters on all counts. Cousin needs to be cut out--being drunk is not an excuse for assault and you do not need that, or any influence on your kids from such an individual. H should be informed, with maybe a disclaimer that you don't want to create any further drama. I am so sorry you had to deal with this, I would be livid and not talk to any of those people for a very long time. SO not okay.
Oh my gosh @Jab3 I'm so sorry you had to deal with that!! It also makes me mad your family basically forced to take care of him rather than acknowledging what he was doing. I agree with PP's, I would let your husband know what happened as well as cut that cousin out of your life. Definitely not appropriate for him to be acting that way
I completely agree with you all and thanks for making me feel justified in not thinking this is okay. Even though my family could see what was happening with their own drunken eyes, they chose to literally look the other way and make it seem as though I was overreacting. This is one of the many reasons why I feel like you guys are better to me than most people I know IRL. I was like dying to tell you guys because I don't feel like I have anyone else to talk to. I'm also realizing maybe I should have put a TW on this? I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of that.
I felt so low because I actually did try confiding in a few close family members who I thought I could trust about how bad it was (after people started sobering up) and they just kind of brushed it aside like I should just let it go since it's my cousin. I feel like that makes it worse! If some random guy did this, people would be livid. It really made me feel like shit that it was more important to people that they get to continue to party and not be inconvenienced rather then step in and help me out. And then to go so far as to ask me to be the one to ensure his safety? Wtf?
I can tell you right now I won't have anything to do with my cousin anymore. I usually avoid family events at all costs because my family is messed up for many reasons. And they all wonder why I don't go to parties and events anymore. Nothing like this has ever happened though and I'll be making damn sure it never does again. I did put in a big effort to attend this cousins wedding because we have always been close and her dad just passed away last year so she told me how much it would mean to her if I was there for support.
As as far as telling H, I will, because I know it's the right thing to do and I tell him mostly everything. I really don't want to tell him though because I know him well enough to know that his instinct will probably be to destroy my cousin. I don't like admitting that either because I know the "appropriate" reaction from an H should just be to nod in sympathy, offer support and hold me tight or something, but that's just not how it is here and just isn't the reality of the situation. My H will kill him and what's worse is he didnt even want me to go in the first place because of how my family is in general.
Good for you for drawing a hard line and cutting your cousin out of your life. It's a shame that supporting one cousin you are close with brought you back in touch with some unhealthy influences. Don't be embarrassed to say that about your H-I think many of our SO's would react similarly. Hopefully he'll understand that with all you guys have going on, getting in trouble for hitting someone is not a stress that you need right now.
@Jab3, l am so sorry about this whole situation, and the fact that your family brushed it off infuriates me. Drunk or not, that is inexcusable. Good for you for staying away usually. If your husband is furious, I don't blame him, but it shouldn't fall on you. I would be likely to want to tell that cousin that if he lays his hands on you again you're filing a police report.
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
@Jab3 You supported your cousin at her wedding, and I certainly understand why you wanted to do that, given what had happened with her father. Now, having done so, you can tell this cousin that, moving forward, you plan on seeing her one-on-one, and you won't be spending time with your extended family in large groups. You don't need to discuss what happened at the wedding if you don't want to, just draw a firm line going forward. You don't need to put yourself in an uncomfortable and frankly dangerous situation because some people have a soft spot for faaaaaamily, and don't get that your boundaries and needs need to be respected. Protect yourself, protect your nuclear family (you, your husband, your children), and don't feel the need to compromise on that for the sake of rugsweeping problems.
And I agree with PP who say that I think many of our spouses and partners would react with a great deal of anger, like you are expecting your husband to. But you can remind your husband that his anger can be better directed by protecting his family going forward. He doesn't need to get sucked into a fight with your cousin. As the saying goes, don't get down in the mud to wrestle a pig. You just get dirty, and the pig likes it.
Re: Weekly Randoms (8/29)
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
@gretchypoo aww that's the best feeling. Apparently my baby is lazy, haven't felt anything yet.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
T was awesome till 3. 2 was a breeze, she' was just easy going. I have to say I was pretty cocky that my kid was just not going to have the tantrums or attitude. The week before the turned 3 a switch flipped and she became a monster. Not exaggerating when I say that every day was wretched. She's a month away from 4 now and finally I feel like I'm getting my sweet girl back. She has an attitude still (she called me Toots last night during an argument) but she takes no so much easier. Instead of a tantrum she tries to use her toddler logic on me but accepts my answer without a breakdown.
BTW, husband and I did make it out to our September Fest today. We were sitting in the live music section and baby girl was kicking so much!!! Not sure if she liked it or hated it, but I LOVED it!!
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
TW--Loss mentioned--
When I told one of my best friends who I've known since pre-school that I was pregnant, she told me that she was too and I was so excited! She was about 3 weeks less far a long than I am, but unfortunately she lost the baby right before her 8 week appointment. I was so sad for her, but she's doing good, and her and her husband are planning on trying again soon. I would love to have babies so close in age with a good friend!
I just realized my response to your exciting post was kind of a downer, sorry about that!!! I'm so glad you get to share this time with a good friend though, that's so special and fun!
ps. @BumpasaurusRex I also requested to join the group
ETA: I joined but can't seem to see discussions yet. Not sure if that's normal.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
We're heading to a BBQ today and I'm going to eat allll the food.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Im going to a wedding today and I will not be drinking all the alcohol. Boohoo.
On the upside, I'm having filet mignon for the main course! Nom nom nom!!
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
I'm looking forward to the night out with H and staying in a hotel, but the open bar and dance floor are the best parts of a wedding
Like I mean he had his hands all over my ass, boobs and crotch area. Disgusting. He's always all over my H trying to be buddies with him when he is around at family events too, but he knew he obviously wasn't there last night which makes the whole thing even nastier. I was trying to show some other relatives some pictures on my phone of H and our kids and he literally took my phone and threw it across the room. Then everyone was signing a guest book thing for my other cousin (the bride) and her new H. He started scribbling all over it, ruining it, it looked like something my kids would do as a drawing except my kids would have done better.
So I told the rest of my family I was leaving to go back to the hotel specifically to get away from this particular cousin (and explained why even though it was completely obvious) and they started pushing him towards me saying I needed to make sure I got him back safely. I tried to tell them I didn't want to do that but they were all so drunk no one cared and kept insisting I do it. So I spent the rest of my time getting back to the hotel fending off advances from my own cousin. I'm so skeeved out right now. My H can tell something is wrong with me, but I can't even bring myself to tell him only because he will probably wind up in jail if he finds out this happened.
I felt so low because I actually did try confiding in a few close family members who I thought I could trust about how bad it was (after people started sobering up) and they just kind of brushed it aside like I should just let it go since it's my cousin. I feel like that makes it worse! If some random guy did this, people would be livid. It really made me feel like shit that it was more important to people that they get to continue to party and not be inconvenienced rather then step in and help me out. And then to go so far as to ask me to be the one to ensure his safety? Wtf?
I can tell you right now I won't have anything to do with my cousin anymore. I usually avoid family events at all costs because my family is messed up for many reasons. And they all wonder why I don't go to parties and events anymore. Nothing like this has ever happened though and I'll be making damn sure it never does again. I did put in a big effort to attend this cousins wedding because we have always been close and her dad just passed away last year so she told me how much it would mean to her if I was there for support.
As as far as telling H, I will, because I know it's the right thing to do and I tell him mostly everything. I really don't want to tell him though because I know him well enough to know that his instinct will probably be to destroy my cousin. I don't like admitting that either because I know the "appropriate" reaction from an H should just be to nod in sympathy, offer support and hold me tight or something, but that's just not how it is here and just isn't the reality of the situation. My H will kill him and what's worse is he didnt even want me to go in the first place because of how my family is in general.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
And I agree with PP who say that I think many of our spouses and partners would react with a great deal of anger, like you are expecting your husband to. But you can remind your husband that his anger can be better directed by protecting his family going forward. He doesn't need to get sucked into a fight with your cousin. As the saying goes, don't get down in the mud to wrestle a pig. You just get dirty, and the pig likes it.