I am so sorry you are dealing with this and my heart goes out to you . I know how much dogs mean to the family. There has been a lot of great advice on here! I don't want to advocate either way on whether or not you should rehome the pooch so I will just offer my 2 cents. Our pup, Kaya, has anxiety and fear based reactivity towards people. She is both excited and terrified to meet new people. She has never shown signs of aggression, thankfully, but we have taken measures to make sure she doesn't go down that road. We took her to a great trainer and still use a lot of his techniques to help Kaya in public. We also operate on the Nothing In Life is Free. It's great that it teaches her discipline but it also keeps her mind busy. I firmly believe that you can physically exhaust a dog but that doesn't mean that it's energy has been depleted. Playing games, doing training, and things like that will stimulate the brain and make them more tired. A tired dog is a good dog. While we haven't reached the point of actual medication, Kaya does get Composure Chews when we know we are going somewhere that will trigger her anxiety. They are like little valium chews for dogs haha, you can get them at your vet and are safe for everyday use. She also gets a muzzle when we go to the vet because she cant handle herself there. I cried when we had to use it but, honestly, she instantly calms down. Having that pressure there is calming to them. I can't imagine all the stress you're under with chasing after a toddler, being pregnant, and watching this doggo - but be diligent for body language from the dog because that could be a big sign. I don't know how young your toddler is but if you can, explain when to leave the dog alone and how to go about petting - always on the back and never come from above.
Phew that was long, sorry! I just feel for you and want you to be able to come up with something that is best for everyone in your family, pooch included!
I don't have any great solutions, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am you are dealing with this. My husband and I have 2 boxers who are our babies, and so I can imagine how wrenching it would be to consider rehoming your baby. It does sound like you have so far done everything right, and that your children would be safer and maybe the dog would be happier in a new home (as the only dog with no children). I wouldn't take him to a shelter, but are there any rescues in your area that you might be able to connect with?
A lot of these comments seem to ignore that your dog has bitten multiple other adults, prior to kids, and blinded your other dog. I have two dogs- love them a ton. Can't even begin to imagine what I would do in your situation. I don't think it is fair to a new owner to rehome this dog- it has a history of aggression toward people and other animals. If you do rehome the dog, all of these past incidents need to be disclosed and the dog needs to go to a home with no other pets, fenced yard, home with no kids and experienced dog owners - this magic setup is going to be very hard to find. Most shelter will put down a dog with documented aggression towards people- because they are so overloaded and the space is needed for animals without a history of aggression. However, I also don't know that it is safe to keep this dog in your home either. I know where my conclusion goes logically- but emotionally, I can't begin to imagine making that decision personally. I would probably try another behaviorist first. Or one of those training programs where you send your dog to stay for a few weeks. I'd also keep this dog separated from your toddler with baby gates and doors until you figure out what can be done.
I know this isn't as extreme, but my asshole dog peed on my son's bed today in the 10 minutes we left her home alone. So we're also going to be sectioning off areas of where she's allowed to even be until she can get her shit together.
@perrasucia I can still feel you on that even with my hound dog's issues because... My other dog is old blind and deaf and he definitely peed on our bed a couple weeks ago and then our couch. Luckily we saw it happen and saved both but gosh no breaks here.
First, I am so very sorry that you find yourself in this situation.
Second, I am going to paste below what I wrote about our precious dog the day we had him humanely euthanized. I realize I may get flamed for this decision, as many will talk about rehoming a pet, but few will talk about helping him meet a peaceful end. My experience of the whole thing was this: realizing what needed to be done was the hardest part. Once we had a plan, I was at peace. And once Briggs was gone, I realized just how much stress we had all been under as we kept this big, powerful dog barely in check. I will go to the ends of the earth for my animals; from Briggs I learned that sometimes medication and training aren't enough, sometimes a problem is too big to pass off to another family, sometimes you have to hold your dog and speak to them sweetly as they meet their peaceful end. I wish you all the best in deciding what's best for your family and dog.
From June 2015:
Our darling Briggs died today.
With tremendous sorrow and great peace, we invited a vet to
our home and had him put to sleep. I’m
going to write honestly here about why, not to speak ill of him, for we loved
him so much, but because we have loved him so well, and know that many of you
do as well. We want to share the story
and not be mysterious about his end.
99% of the time, Briggs
was a wonderful dog. He was sweet and
joyful. He wanted nothing more than to
bathe his family’s faces with his tongue.
1% of the time, Briggs was a bad dog. A wild dog.
A dog who wanted to kill that rabbit or that squirrel and who could not
be stopped except by the extraordinary strength and will of his favorite human,
Jon.
Since moving to the country, we have learned that Briggs’s
tastes run beyond rabbits and squirrels.
He would also like to kill deer and horses. The list goes on and it includes goats,
yes. Our goats are fine and we would
have rehomed them without a second thought if that would have saved Briggs. But Briggs’s problem was his inner Mr. Hyde
and we were seeing it more and more.
Have you ever seen a dog climb an 8-foot chain-link fence as
though it were a custom-built dog ladder?
I have. That’s a funny story,
thankfully, as Briggs went up and over that fence because it was separating him
from his favorite human.
99% of the time, Briggs’s strength was beautiful to
behold. He seemed to barely touch the
ground as he walked through the house.
He got off of the couch by placing a front paw on the ground and slowly
pivoting and lowering the rest of his body.
It’s a move I tried to capture on video many times, but never succeeded.
We have lots of things on video—how Briggs liked to “help”
the fire department by singing along with their sirens. In photos, we can show you how gently Briggs
welcomed Vin, a scruffy emaciated puppy.
We can show you how, when Vin decided on that first day, that Briggs was
the best bed for a puppy, he let her sleep on him. She grew and grew and he kept letting
her. She grew taller than him and almost
as heavy and we would still find them sleeping like stacked plates.
He was such a good boy.
He always wanted to please us.
Even when he lost control, he was trying to be good. When he’d regain control, he was haunted by
what bad-him had thought or tried. He
would cry for hours over a dead squirrel.
He would shake and whine.
We’ve released him from that pain. And we’ve released ourselves from our anxiety
for him. Our anxiety for ourselves, for
our guests, for our neighbors, for their livestock.
And so he left us today.
He died today. But he’ll always
be with us. He’s in our hearts and he’s here on our land--on Briggs Hill (newly
named). He got to go out in the arms of
his favorite human. He went out
peacefully, as a good dog. The worst
never happened; we spared ourselves and him from it.
I am so sorry you are in a position where you even have to think about this. Maybe talk to shops/junkyards/etc to see if any shop owners need a guard dog? I know the laws and such have changed in the 20 or so years since I've dealt with it but we rescued a german shepherd who had a lot of the same characteristics and once he had a nice big lot to roam and a job to do, he turned around. He was never meant to be a family pet, but made a fantastic guard dog. H and I were worried about our current dog as she is always anxious and very excitable, has never bitten anyone but jumps/knocks people over/barks at them after getting petted, etc. We got super lucky with how she handled my cousins' young children and it's no longer as huge of a concern but there were definitely talks about rehoming. Again I'm sorry that you're in this position.
@Amber_Waves so as I sit here crying and thinking about all the dogs I've loved I really hope you don't get flamed. that was beautiful. sometimes we make choices that are the best, even if they are hard. I'm sorry you lost Briggs. he was lucky to have such loving parents.
Re: NBR: Dog Dilemma
I am so sorry you are dealing with this and my heart goes out to you
. I know how much dogs mean to the family. There has been a lot of great advice on here! I don't want to advocate either way on whether or not you should rehome the pooch so I will just offer my 2 cents. Our pup, Kaya, has anxiety and fear based reactivity towards people. She is both excited and terrified to meet new people. She has never shown signs of aggression, thankfully, but we have taken measures to make sure she doesn't go down that road. We took her to a great trainer and still use a lot of his techniques to help Kaya in public. We also operate on the Nothing In Life is Free. It's great that it teaches her discipline but it also keeps her mind busy. I firmly believe that you can physically exhaust a dog but that doesn't mean that it's energy has been depleted. Playing games, doing training, and things like that will stimulate the brain and make them more tired. A tired dog is a good dog. While we haven't reached the point of actual medication, Kaya does get Composure Chews when we know we are going somewhere that will trigger her anxiety. They are like little valium chews for dogs haha, you can get them at your vet and are safe for everyday use. She also gets a muzzle when we go to the vet because she cant handle herself there. I cried when we had to use it but, honestly, she instantly calms down. Having that pressure there is calming to them. I can't imagine all the stress you're under with chasing after a toddler, being pregnant, and watching this doggo - but be diligent for body language from the dog because that could be a big sign. I don't know how young your toddler is but if you can, explain when to leave the dog alone and how to go about petting - always on the back and never come from above.
Phew that was long, sorry! I just feel for you and want you to be able to come up with something that is best for everyone in your family, pooch included!
A lot of these comments seem to ignore that your dog has bitten multiple other adults, prior to kids, and blinded your other dog. I have two dogs- love them a ton. Can't even begin to imagine what I would do in your situation. I don't think it is fair to a new owner to rehome this dog- it has a history of aggression toward people and other animals. If you do rehome the dog, all of these past incidents need to be disclosed and the dog needs to go to a home with no other pets, fenced yard, home with no kids and experienced dog owners - this magic setup is going to be very hard to find. Most shelter will put down a dog with documented aggression towards people- because they are so overloaded and the space is needed for animals without a history of aggression. However, I also don't know that it is safe to keep this dog in your home either. I know where my conclusion goes logically- but emotionally, I can't begin to imagine making that decision personally. I would probably try another behaviorist first. Or one of those training programs where you send your dog to stay for a few weeks. I'd also keep this dog separated from your toddler with baby gates and doors until you figure out what can be done.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17
First, I am so very sorry that you find yourself in this situation.
Second, I am going to paste below what I wrote about our precious dog the day we had him humanely euthanized. I realize I may get flamed for this decision, as many will talk about rehoming a pet, but few will talk about helping him meet a peaceful end. My experience of the whole thing was this: realizing what needed to be done was the hardest part. Once we had a plan, I was at peace. And once Briggs was gone, I realized just how much stress we had all been under as we kept this big, powerful dog barely in check. I will go to the ends of the earth for my animals; from Briggs I learned that sometimes medication and training aren't enough, sometimes a problem is too big to pass off to another family, sometimes you have to hold your dog and speak to them sweetly as they meet their peaceful end. I wish you all the best in deciding what's best for your family and dog.
From June 2015:
Our darling Briggs died today.
With tremendous sorrow and great peace, we invited a vet to our home and had him put to sleep. I’m going to write honestly here about why, not to speak ill of him, for we loved him so much, but because we have loved him so well, and know that many of you do as well. We want to share the story and not be mysterious about his end.
99% of the time, Briggs was a wonderful dog. He was sweet and joyful. He wanted nothing more than to bathe his family’s faces with his tongue.
1% of the time, Briggs was a bad dog. A wild dog. A dog who wanted to kill that rabbit or that squirrel and who could not be stopped except by the extraordinary strength and will of his favorite human, Jon.
Since moving to the country, we have learned that Briggs’s tastes run beyond rabbits and squirrels. He would also like to kill deer and horses. The list goes on and it includes goats, yes. Our goats are fine and we would have rehomed them without a second thought if that would have saved Briggs. But Briggs’s problem was his inner Mr. Hyde and we were seeing it more and more.
Have you ever seen a dog climb an 8-foot chain-link fence as though it were a custom-built dog ladder? I have. That’s a funny story, thankfully, as Briggs went up and over that fence because it was separating him from his favorite human.
99% of the time, Briggs’s strength was beautiful to behold. He seemed to barely touch the ground as he walked through the house. He got off of the couch by placing a front paw on the ground and slowly pivoting and lowering the rest of his body. It’s a move I tried to capture on video many times, but never succeeded.
We have lots of things on video—how Briggs liked to “help” the fire department by singing along with their sirens. In photos, we can show you how gently Briggs welcomed Vin, a scruffy emaciated puppy. We can show you how, when Vin decided on that first day, that Briggs was the best bed for a puppy, he let her sleep on him. She grew and grew and he kept letting her. She grew taller than him and almost as heavy and we would still find them sleeping like stacked plates.
He was such a good boy. He always wanted to please us. Even when he lost control, he was trying to be good. When he’d regain control, he was haunted by what bad-him had thought or tried. He would cry for hours over a dead squirrel. He would shake and whine.
We’ve released him from that pain. And we’ve released ourselves from our anxiety for him. Our anxiety for ourselves, for our guests, for our neighbors, for their livestock.
And so he left us today. He died today. But he’ll always be with us. He’s in our hearts and he’s here on our land--on Briggs Hill (newly named). He got to go out in the arms of his favorite human. He went out peacefully, as a good dog. The worst never happened; we spared ourselves and him from it.
We love you Briggs.
H and I were worried about our current dog as she is always anxious and very excitable, has never bitten anyone but jumps/knocks people over/barks at them after getting petted, etc. We got super lucky with how she handled my cousins' young children and it's no longer as huge of a concern but there were definitely talks about rehoming. Again I'm sorry that you're in this position.