Does anyone have experience with having a second child while your first is still in a crib? I'm getting pressure from my IL's and others to move my daughter out of her crib to make way for our new baby. Everyone thinks it's ridiculous to buy a second crib.
My DD is 20 months and sleeps extremely well in her crib. She goes down with zero fuss and when she wakes up she often plays happily on her own for 10-20 minutes and then goes back to sleep all on her own. She's never tried to climb out and is definitely not too big to fit. I just have this feeling if she could get out of bed and play...she'd never sleep.
Is anyone else getting the same pressure? Did you buy a second crib or move your first to a bed?
My DS4 is still in his crib and we have no intentiom of moving him. He will be 2 in December but he sleeps great in his crib. We will start baby in our room in a rock and play and depending on how long that lasts we may move baby to a pack and play still in our room. We will reevaluate when to move 2 year old a few months after baby gets here.
I have a question about room sharing. We are considering bunking up my DD and this new love bug but I'm curious what other people have done. I can't imagine putting the new baby in with my DD at first since new baby will not sleep through the night. Have other parents waited until both kids sleep through the night before shacking them up?
In my head I see it playing out like this... I sleep in living room with new baby in pack and play with me so I can get up every 2-3 hours for feeding as needed. Once new baby starts sleeping longer hours we move both kids into the same room??
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
@mfrqk6 You couldn't pay me enough money to move a 2 year old out of his or her crib unless she was climbing out and especially not with a new baby coming. Sleep regressions are normal and common when you bring a little one home (usually when baby is around 2 or 3 months and your big kid realizes that they are here to stay). You will be exhausted enough without adding an unnecessary transition into the mix. Why make things harder than they need to be? I'll be keeping each of mine in their cribs until they give me no choice.
@Mrshuse525 I think what you have decided seems pretty workable but I have noticed a few issues with room sharing kiddos from some of my mom friends. Neither of mine STTN until about 10 months so sleeping on the couch for nearly a year doesn't seem realistic. I've also noticed that it can cause some disruption if you plan to ST at all and usually requires separating them for a week if you decide to go that route. I also notice bedtime can become an issue because one might keep the other one awake. White noise will help but I would personally avoid it if I could until the youngest is only waking periodically.
I have a question about room sharing. We are considering bunking up my DD and this new love bug but I'm curious what other people have done. I can't imagine putting the new baby in with my DD at first since new baby will not sleep through the night. Have other parents waited until both kids sleep through the night before shacking them up?
In my head I see it playing out like this... I sleep in living room with new baby in pack and play with me so I can get up every 2-3 hours for feeding as needed. Once new baby starts sleeping longer hours we move both kids into the same room??
This is my plan too. Will be following for others' experiences!
@mrshuse525 when DS2 was born, we had him sleep in bassinet in our room until he was doing 5-6 hour stretches. Then I put him in with DS1. I should note though that our DS1 has always been a great sleeper. That said it was a tough transition for about 2 weeks. After the 2 week mark though DS1 was adjusted to the noises that DS2 made and even adjusted to the majority of his crying.
Now they love being together and I don't think I could separate them if I tried. They talk to each other as they fall asleep. DS1 will give pacis back to DS2 if he throws them out and will comfort DS2 if he cries. If we try to put DS2 to bed early before his brother, he will just wait for him before he goes to sleep and smiles as soon as he sees him come to bed. It is really the sweetest!
@mfrqk6 I say if she is happy in her crib and not trying to climb out buy that second crib and don't mess with a good thing. The cost of a new crib would be worth it in my opinion. If my son slept well in his crib he'd still be in it and we'd be buying a second.
Thanks everyone for the support. My in laws said it enough times that I was starting to think I was the crazy one. Glad to know others would happily pay for the new crib like I would!
Ok so here's a more personal question.... When you were later in your pregnancy (I'm 21 weeks tomorrow) did it hurt the day
after you had sex? This has not happened to me until lately, don’t love it. I
feel like I just got off a bike!!!!
@susykat77 an orgasm can cause mild/minor contractions in the uterus so I think the cramping you're feeling could be associated with that and is likely harmless. I don't think it should last very long though. I'd mention it to your doctor if it continues into the evening or next day.
@mfrqk6 Get a second crib. My boys are 17 months apart. We didnt take the rail off my older sons crib until right before he turned 3. He's still using it as a toddler bed. He has never tried to climb out. My other son (now 2) has also never tried to climb out. We'll be keeping him in a crib until he tries. My older on will go ina twin bed as #3 is due right before his 4th birthday
@susykat77 My doctor said it was normal when I asked a similar question. She also told me to never hesitate to call and they'll ask questions and if they think it's worth a trip in they'll tell me. Otherwise they'll give me suggestions. Mine usually goes away by the end of the next day.
@briannae129129 I get that feeling just from sitting too long. Baby is sitting with her head very low (my son did this too) so I think that's what is causing it for me. Nothing my doctor is concerned about. I tend to be a little stiff in my hip joints the day after sex and once I get some walking in and water it goes away. Hormones do crazy things.
With DD, I struggled heavily with PPD and PPA. I got help right away (I've had both depression and anxiety most of my life, so I knew the signs immediately) and about eight weeks in with medication and therapy, I was doing much better. By the time she was six months old, I felt a lot more like myself, and by one year, I was in a really good place. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I decided to switch my meds to something safe for pregnancy and have continued them.
For the STM+ who may have struggled with PPD/PPA in the past, what are you planning to do this time around in advance? Or for those of you with multiple children, what did you do in subsequent postpartum situations?
PPD was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through in my entire life, so it's important to me to do whatever I can to avoid it. I know how hard it was with one child, I cannot imagine having a newborn and a 2.5 year old.
@emy730 I have a therapist lined up, who I have history with, to see as soon as the baby is born. I'm also not even attempting breast feeding which added to my PPD.
@emy730 I will probably be taking anxiety medication throughout this pregnancy and through delivery. Meds take time to get into your system, so I worry about that. I didn't have ppd, but I did have bad post partum anxiety which manifested as anger.
@emy730 thank you for mentioning this! I'm a FTM and am anxious about getting PPD since I know I'm predisposed based on my history. I've stayed on my meds throughout this pregnancy, but am worried about all the hormone fluctuations that come after delivery. I also really want to breastfeed and am worried that this might not be possible depending on if/when/how PPD manifests itself.
With DD, I struggled heavily with PPD and PPA. I got help right away (I've had both depression and anxiety most of my life, so I knew the signs immediately) and about eight weeks in with medication and therapy, I was doing much better. By the time she was six months old, I felt a lot more like myself, and by one year, I was in a really good place. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I decided to switch my meds to something safe for pregnancy and have continued them.
For the STM+ who may have struggled with PPD/PPA in the past, what are you planning to do this time around in advance? Or for those of you with multiple children, what did you do in subsequent postpartum situations?
PPD was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through in my entire life, so it's important to me to do whatever I can to avoid it. I know how hard it was with one child, I cannot imagine having a newborn and a 2.5 year old.
So; my PPA was fairly mild, treated with therapy but no medication, and primarily due to intense feelings of isolation. I'm extremely close to my family, especially my mom, and had always pictured that I'd be in my hometown when I had kids. We moved about 4 hours away from it so I could go to grad school and then DH got hired by his current employer, so we never left. I have essentially no family out here (aside from some in-laws, who are largely absent from our lives but when they're around, they are more of a stressor than a help) and, when DD was born, my only friends out here were friends from college who I felt I couldn't relate to anymore (and, though I love them dearly, I still feel this way). On top of all this, DH is an accountant, which is obviously a pretty demanding career, and at the time he had a 40 minute commute each way. So I was extremely lonely, and my anxiety manifested as intense fear that someone would break into our apartment, either when I was home alone with DD or at night while we were sleeping.
My therapist was excellent, but unfortunately I can't go to her anymore because her office is about an hour away from our new house. However, I do plan to use the exercise she taught me from the moment the baby is born in an effort to avoid PPA setting in again. She had me record what I ate every day and when I ate it, along with what I was doing for myself every day to relax. sleeping didn't count - she wanted me to do things that I enjoyed, and to make sure I made time for them, because she said new moms often put their needs and wants last and that's a big reason why PPA/PPD occurs, on top of hormones and the other various factors. She was also a great listener when I needed a neutral person to vent to about the isolation that I felt.
Thankfully,while I am still a lot further away from my family than I would like, a lot of the circumstances that caused my feelings of isolation have changed. We've moved to a house that's only 5 minutes from DH's office instead of 40. He had been coaching boys' basketball at our church during the limited time when he could've been at home with us (4+ days a week), and we no longer go to that church since we moved and he has no interest in coaching at our new church simply because it isn't our old church. The time he had leftover from that was largely dedicated to studying for his CPA exam, but he just took what we're hoping will be his final test. So this time around, my most important support system is actually going to have time to support me. Of course, this baby is coming at the beginning of tax season, but our new proximity to his office is going to make such a big difference this year. Also, I've joined a few mom groups and have developed friendships with people who I can relate to, for the most part. I do miss my family, but I've grown to appreciate the distance from my hometown because it means that I don't have to be around the in-laws who live there, who cause a ton of stress in my life.
TL;DR so many stressful circumstances in my life have changed that I'm hoping for a smoother postpartum experience, mentally and emotionally at least. I'm going to be doing the exercises that my therapist assigned me last time to hopefully prevent PPA from setting in again, but if it does, I plan to ask my therapist for a referral to a colleague with a similar philosophy to what she holds in our new community. Best of luck to you; I hope you'll have a better experience this time around! And sorry for the book haha
New post since I got distracted from my original question. Thank you pregnancy brain!
Does anyone have experience renting a breast pump? I'm debating on whether it is better for me to have my own or rent one?
Thanks to the health care reforms, if you live in the US you should be able to get a pump for free through your insurance! With DD I was eligible for the basic Medela model for free and then I paid about $100 to upgrade to the travel pump, which is usually $200-300 if I remember right. It's worth at least calling your insurance company about. I personally thought my pump was worth every penny and I plan to get another this time (because if it's free, why the heck not?!)
@aishmc in my opinion, breastfeeding was incredibly helpful. Breastfeeding releases oxytocin (feel good hormone) and the fact that only I could feed my child was enough to keep me from going under. Does your insurance cover a pump? Most do. Take advantage of this.
@aishmc your insurance should cover a pump either for rental or purchase. I purchased a pump with my last one and plan to purchase one with this pregnancy as well (I'm fortunate and get 1 per pregnancy). For most, the pumps you purchase are great and if you plan on breastfeeding/pumping more than a year purchasing is definitely the way to go because I think if insurance covers rental then it's only for a year. If you rent, you get the hospital grade pumps which are nice but a lot less portable. My recommendation would be purchasing (with insurance coverage if available) because of the ease of taking your pump with you.
I apologize if this has been asked before, but is there a specific pump you would recommend? For what it's worth, I'll be returning to work after about 12 weeks so presumably the pump will be getting a lot of use.
I apologize if this has been asked before, but is there a specific pump you would recommend? For what it's worth, I'll be returning to work after about 12 weeks so presumably the pump will be getting a lot of use.
I liked my Medela travel pump a lot. It came in a bag that fit not only the pump but also a cooler for the bottles and plenty of room for the cords and tubes, along with other random stuff I liked to have with me when pumping like bottled water and my kindle. I will say that I did not pump as often as you probably will since I only worked part time (like, VERY part time, once a week and then after Christmas only once a month), but for the first few months I did pump pretty often because it took a while for DD's latch to get good and I needed the relief from pain that bottles with pumped milk provided. My pump held up really well for everything that I required of it. I don't know that I'll get the travel one again because I'm not working anymore so I'll only be pumping at home as needed, but if I were working I'd definitely go with that one again.
@LoneStar21416 it has been asked! Lots of recs but you might have to dig for them, it was a while ago. I love my Madela Pump In Style Advanced but I'm a SAHM- if I was going back to work I'd splurge for the Madela Freestyle for the hands free option.
The Medela Pump In Style Advanced is great as is the Spectra pumps. The Medela is an open system so milk can get in to the motor but Medela customer service is great about replacing if necessary. It just requires checking the motor occasionally for mold as I've heard it happen. The Spectra is a closed system which is a plus. I loved my spectra 9, it was rechargeable and portable. With a hands free nursing bra I could get up and move if needed. I brought my Medela to work because the bag it came in was handy, the cooler fit the bottles, and fit in the bag nicely and I didn't move once I hooked up. I hacked my spectra to take medela parts. Medela parts are a lot easier to come by but spectra is getting there. I really think I'm going to get a spectra 2 with this baby since both my other pumps still work.
ETA: I used my hands free nursing bra with my medela at work so I had my hands free. It was a simple wishes bra, I would just unsnap my nursing bra and wrap the simple wishes one around me, zip it up and pump so I didn't have to take my other bra off at all. Very convenient. Then I was able to work or look at my phone or do whatever while I sat in the mother's room at work and pumped. It just didn't matter if I was tied to the wall with the cord. At home or in the car I would use my spectra 9 because I didn't need to be tied to the wall.
@carly79@katesmama0706 so would you recommend either the Medela PISA or the Spectra S2 if portability isn't critical?
I'm still not sure whether I'll go back to work after the baby, and if I do it will likely be part-time. But my company has hospital grade pumps in the lactation rooms and I believe most ladies just buy their own attachments and bring those to the office instead of a whole pump.
Either way, I likely won't need to lug a pump with me to work... Also still have to find out what my options are via insurance.
@KRB22 my PISA never left my house, except for a random trip or two, but I'd still recommend it. It's definitely portable if need be, but it's pretty powerful too.
@KRB22 Yes I would recommend either. Depending what pumps you have at work I would go with the Medela. I found those bottles were compatible with both the hospital grade medela and ameda pumps and then you wouldn't need separate bottles. However, you can order an attachment piece to allow you to use the medela bottles with spectra or one to allow you to use the spectra bottles with a medela pump. Also, the wide neck avent bottles work with the spectra. If they have a medela pump, I believe your tubing and other parts would be compatible so that is probably the best bet.
Wow! All this info is amazing ladies! I will be going back to work after 4 months so I'll be pumping in the nursing mother's room. Now I've got to figure out this bra situation to make it work.
I used Madela PIS with my son. I returned to work at 8 weeks and BF until he was over 9 months. It worked wonderfully the whole time. I plan on getting a new one with my insurance to keep at the office and use my old one for home.
Team Blue ~ Jan. 20 DS born 9/4/12 MMC July 2015 MMC January 2016
I still have my original Medela PIS from 10yrs ago and works great! I used it for 3months with my first baby then 10months with my second and third babies! It has been a wonderful pump! My fourth I was a SAHM so didn't use but a handful of times. I plan to use again this time as needed!
New post since I got distracted from my original question. Thank you pregnancy brain!
Does anyone have experience renting a breast pump? I'm debating on whether it is better for me to have my own or rent one?
I rented a hospital-grade pump from Walgreens. It was the exact same model that they had in the hospital. My insurance provided a pump for free, but it was nowhere near the quality of the hospital-grade pump. Have you checked to see what your insurance will pay for yet?
@mrshuse525 sounds like you have a great plan setup and I know nothing about room sharing (besides my hatred of sharing one with my brother for 6 months after our house fire when I was 7 lol) but my question is why are you planning on sleeping in the living room? To each their own, but that sounds just uncomfortable to me. I'm just curious. We did a pack n play in our bedroom and plan on doing the same thing with this one.
@aishmc I have to check with this insurance (district switched providers between pregnancies) but based on my other new teacher mommys I get a pretty wide range of options for free/upgrade. I'd definitely recommend either hands free or a cheap pumping bra (I did the bra and worked fine). I'd recommend checking insurance regardless. If you don't get one that is a higher grade for free you could always rent, buy or upgrade. Additionally, if you don't use very long you can donate to a women's shelter (the machine, not tubes and parts) and use as a tax write off. My cousin did just that as she's done having kids. As far as PPD/PPA contact your local La Leche league in your area or a nursing consultant and meet with them before your baby is born. I found mine to be very helpful and made me feel heard and eased my fears once DS began to latch correctly.
@BrennansMom2012when my DD was born I slept in the living room because my DH got up so early for work. It just worked out better since I was breastfeeding and getting up every 2-3 hours. Then I could turn on the TV on mute/low volume at 3am when feeding so I had something to stare at lol. And.. our couch is a big sectional so it's pretty comfortable. It just kind of worked out that way. My thought process this time was to let my DH sleep so he can get up and get our DD ready for school and take her in the morning without being exhausted. I'm hoping to be able to catch some Z's throughout the day when new baby sleeps. We will see how it all plays out this time around.
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
Ok fellow STMs, have any of you had a medicated birth with your first and are planning on going natural with your second? Or STMs who went natural your first go, I need a spirit guide...I'm so unmotivated. Spam me with your best advice. I had an epidural with my first and didn't do any preparation or classes. After her I had two losses before this baby. I want to experience every piece of pregnancy, because there isn't always a next time and pregnancy is precious.
Re: Ask a STM+ Week of 8/29
BFP#5 5/22/17 EDD:1/27/17 It's a GIRL!!!!
In my head I see it playing out like this...
I sleep in living room with new baby in pack and play with me so I can get up every 2-3 hours for feeding as needed. Once new baby starts sleeping longer hours we move both kids into the same room??
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
Now they love being together and I don't think I could separate them if I tried. They talk to each other as they fall asleep. DS1 will give pacis back to DS2 if he throws them out and will comfort DS2 if he cries. If we try to put DS2 to bed early before his brother, he will just wait for him before he goes to sleep and smiles as soon as he sees him come to bed. It is really the sweetest!
Due 1/21/17
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
Get a second crib. My boys are 17 months apart. We didnt take the rail off my older sons crib until right before he turned 3. He's still using it as a toddler bed. He has never tried to climb out. My other son (now 2) has also never tried to climb out. We'll be keeping him in a crib until he tries. My older on will go ina twin bed as #3 is due right before his 4th birthday
@susykat77 My doctor said it was normal when I asked a similar question. She also told me to never hesitate to call and they'll ask questions and if they think it's worth a trip in they'll tell me. Otherwise they'll give me suggestions. Mine usually goes away by the end of the next day.
@briannae129129 I get that feeling just from sitting too long. Baby is sitting with her head very low (my son did this too) so I think that's what is causing it for me. Nothing my doctor is concerned about. I tend to be a little stiff in my hip joints the day after sex and once I get some walking in and water it goes away. Hormones do crazy things.
With DD, I struggled heavily with PPD and PPA. I got help right away (I've had both depression and anxiety most of my life, so I knew the signs immediately) and about eight weeks in with medication and therapy, I was doing much better. By the time she was six months old, I felt a lot more like myself, and by one year, I was in a really good place. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I decided to switch my meds to something safe for pregnancy and have continued them.
For the STM+ who may have struggled with PPD/PPA in the past, what are you planning to do this time around in advance? Or for those of you with multiple children, what did you do in subsequent postpartum situations?
PPD was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through in my entire life, so it's important to me to do whatever I can to avoid it. I know how hard it was with one child, I cannot imagine having a newborn and a 2.5 year old.
I have a therapist lined up, who I have history with, to see as soon as the baby is born.
I'm also not even attempting breast feeding which added to my PPD.
My therapist was excellent, but unfortunately I can't go to her anymore because her office is about an hour away from our new house. However, I do plan to use the exercise she taught me from the moment the baby is born in an effort to avoid PPA setting in again. She had me record what I ate every day and when I ate it, along with what I was doing for myself every day to relax. sleeping didn't count - she wanted me to do things that I enjoyed, and to make sure I made time for them, because she said new moms often put their needs and wants last and that's a big reason why PPA/PPD occurs, on top of hormones and the other various factors. She was also a great listener when I needed a neutral person to vent to about the isolation that I felt.
Thankfully,while I am still a lot further away from my family than I would like, a lot of the circumstances that caused my feelings of isolation have changed. We've moved to a house that's only 5 minutes from DH's office instead of 40. He had been coaching boys' basketball at our church during the limited time when he could've been at home with us (4+ days a week), and we no longer go to that church since we moved and he has no interest in coaching at our new church simply because it isn't our old church. The time he had leftover from that was largely dedicated to studying for his CPA exam, but he just took what we're hoping will be his final test. So this time around, my most important support system is actually going to have time to support me. Of course, this baby is coming at the beginning of tax season, but our new proximity to his office is going to make such a big difference this year. Also, I've joined a few mom groups and have developed friendships with people who I can relate to, for the most part. I do miss my family, but I've grown to appreciate the distance from my hometown because it means that I don't have to be around the in-laws who live there, who cause a ton of stress in my life.
TL;DR so many stressful circumstances in my life have changed that I'm hoping for a smoother postpartum experience, mentally and emotionally at least. I'm going to be doing the exercises that my therapist assigned me last time to hopefully prevent PPA from setting in again, but if it does, I plan to ask my therapist for a referral to a colleague with a similar philosophy to what she holds in our new community. Best of luck to you; I hope you'll have a better experience this time around! And sorry for the book haha
Does anyone have experience renting a breast pump? I'm debating on whether it is better for me to have my own or rent one?
The Medela Pump In Style Advanced is great as is the Spectra pumps. The Medela is an open system so milk can get in to the motor but Medela customer service is great about replacing if necessary. It just requires checking the motor occasionally for mold as I've heard it happen. The Spectra is a closed system which is a plus. I loved my spectra 9, it was rechargeable and portable. With a hands free nursing bra I could get up and move if needed. I brought my Medela to work because the bag it came in was handy, the cooler fit the bottles, and fit in the bag nicely and I didn't move once I hooked up. I hacked my spectra to take medela parts. Medela parts are a lot easier to come by but spectra is getting there. I really think I'm going to get a spectra 2 with this baby since both my other pumps still work.
ETA: I used my hands free nursing bra with my medela at work so I had my hands free. It was a simple wishes bra, I would just unsnap my nursing bra and wrap the simple wishes one around me, zip it up and pump so I didn't have to take my other bra off at all. Very convenient. Then I was able to work or look at my phone or do whatever while I sat in the mother's room at work and pumped. It just didn't matter if I was tied to the wall with the cord. At home or in the car I would use my spectra 9 because I didn't need to be tied to the wall.
I'm still not sure whether I'll go back to work after the baby, and if I do it will likely be part-time. But my company has hospital grade pumps in the lactation rooms and I believe most ladies just buy their own attachments and bring those to the office instead of a whole pump.
Either way, I likely won't need to lug a pump with me to work... Also still have to find out what my options are via insurance.
Team Blue ~ Jan. 20
DS born 9/4/12
MMC July 2015
MMC January 2016
*TW*
TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
BFP 9.7.15 CP
BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
BFP 10.14.17 CP
BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
@aishmc I have to check with this insurance (district switched providers between pregnancies) but based on my other new teacher mommys I get a pretty wide range of options for free/upgrade. I'd definitely recommend either hands free or a cheap pumping bra (I did the bra and worked fine). I'd recommend checking insurance regardless. If you don't get one that is a higher grade for free you could always rent, buy or upgrade. Additionally, if you don't use very long you can donate to a women's shelter (the machine, not tubes and parts) and use as a tax write off. My cousin did just that as she's done having kids. As far as PPD/PPA contact your local La Leche league in your area or a nursing consultant and meet with them before your baby is born. I found mine to be very helpful and made me feel heard and eased my fears once DS began to latch correctly.
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge