@ThePax89 I went med free with my daughter. I was dead-set on it because I was really afraid the meds would affect my daughter's ability to nurse effectively...she ended up not nursing well and having issues gaining weight anyway, but I wasn't able to beat myself up over maybe having caused the issue so it was still worth it to me. I'm planning on going med-free this time for the same reason.
I really think you have to find a reason why you want to go med-free to use as inspiration. With the prevalence of pain meds, it's hard to imagine choosing pain over pain-free (hopefully!) without finding a focal point that helps you stay the course.
I would say things I did right were learning about the stages of labor beforehand, walking around A LOT, refusing to have my water broken early in labor, reminding myself throughout my labor that each contraction was only temporary, and visualizing each contraction as "good pain" that was for a purpose as opposed to "bad pain".
Thanks @colleenkevin the idea of temporary pain is really helpful, as well as thinking of contractions as positive. I really appreciate the advice. I'm also super jealous of you. Did nursing get easier for you?
@thepax89 I know I'm not a STM but I've been on the fence about going Med free and after reading two books (birth day by Mark Sloan, and Ina May's guide to childbirth by Ina May Gaskin) I feel more confident about trying to go Med free. Both books talk a lot about the importance of the mother staying calm during labor as the physiological response to stress during labor can halt labor (it's sort of an evolutionary mechanism - when animals are in labor if they sense danger they can actually shut labor down so they can run to safety) and also like @colleenkevin said they also talk about importance of seeing the pain as useful towards the goal of getting the baby out and being able to listen to your body about what feels comfortable - chances are if a certain labor feels better than others it's getting baby into the best position to come out. I LOVED 95% of birthday - there was one birth story that was stressful (but ended well) and a chapter or two I thought was a little boring but over all a great read. I enjoyed about 60% of Ina May's guide to childbirth - I took what I found useful and left the rest with a grain of salt.
@ThePax89 It did! We had a rough start but I trusted my lactation consultant that if I could push through and make it to 6 weeks then things would get easier. She was right and we ended up nursing for a little over 18 months. She probably would have kept going if I hadn't gotten pregnant - my supply tanked in the 1st trimester.
I hope you are able to have your med-free birth I might be a little odd but I'm actually looking forward to experiencing birth again. It was no walk in the park but this is likely my last time and I felt so amazing afterwards and in awe of my body last time.
@colleenkevin not remotely odd. I am so excited to give birth and especially stoked to breastfeed again. My daughter weaned at 21 months, 4 weeks ago. I miss it.
@colleenkevin I've been saying I was excited to give birth again since DD was born and am always met with looks of horror. But the whole thing was just so amazing! I didn't go med free and don't plan to this time either but holy empowering!
@ThePax89 I had a really hard time emotionally when my daughter weaned. I definitely had a mourning period. I know I have another little one coming, but it will be a different experience and a different nursing relationship than I had with my daughter. I'm excited to nurse again!
The December board has been doing a med-free check in for the last couple of months that you might want to check out.
@katesmama0706@ThePax89 I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one looking forward to birth - most people I know can't understand why I'm not dreading labor and delivery.
I am terrified for birth, but DDs birth was unbelievably traumatic. She aspirated meconium after I'd been in labor for 36 hours and pushing for 3+ hours. When she came out, she was purple, not breathing and unresponsive. She had to be intubated twice and I had no idea what was going on.
My OB was amazing, and kept me calm, but I knew how close we were to not having her with us. It was really hard for me to connect with her after that out of fear.
I know the likelihood of this time going poorly again is rare, but there's still that anxiety. I've even considered an elective CS, but I want to give birth naturally if I can.
Ok STM+ ladies - I've reached the point where I like sitting in a chair with strong back support but it's making my butt hurt. When I sit in a way that makes my butt comfortable I feel like it's bad for my back. Is there any way to compromise?
@aishmc I rented a hospital grade pump from a medical supply company and also bought a Medela freestyle. The hospital grade pump was amazing and did a way better job than my freestyle. There was a HUGE difference in suction and how fast the pumps could drain me. My insurance paid for the rental though because my daughter couldn't nurse. The only problem with the hospital grade pump is that it's not very portable. That's why I got the freestyle so I could pump in my car or take it wherever I was going. I could even pump while walking around and making dinner if I wanted since it was battery operated. I exclusively pumped though so I was attached to that thing all day and needed something strong to keep my supply up. If you are going to nurse and then just pump at work or occasionally to have a little stash, something like the PISA is adequate.
@JustJaney@spano41 I found out that I am 100% covered since I work for a health system that provides insurance for it's own hospitals in clinic. However, the pump they provide is the Ameda Double Electric Pump which I know nothing about. When I worked in women's health and helped patients with breastfeeding, we exclusively used Medela products.
I'm thinking maybe I should try out the one that's covered and if I'm not feeling it just pony up and get the Medela?
@ceclarlinetlo have you tried getting something like an inflatable donut? Or a cushion that you can sit on that's softer without losing your back support?
@JustJaney@spano41 I found out that I am 100% covered since I work for a health system that provides insurance for it's own hospitals in clinic. However, the pump they provide is the Ameda Double Electric Pump which I know nothing about. When I worked in women's health and helped patients with breastfeeding, we exclusively used Medela products.
I'm thinking maybe I should try out the one that's covered and if I'm not feeling it just pony up and get the Medela?
The Ameda double is also what my insurance covers. It gets the job done!
Ok STM+ ladies - I've reached the point where I like sitting in a chair with strong back support but it's making my butt hurt. When I sit in a way that makes my butt comfortable I feel like it's bad for my back. Is there any way to compromise?
I had major butt issues last time -- ha! I think he was sitting where a nerve was being pinched or something. Anyway, if you google coxic pillow, that thing was a lifesaver. It took the pressure of just exactly the right spot.
The latest questions I've been wondering: 1) Do you really need a white noise machine? 2) How in the heck am I supposed to know which/how many bottles to get? I plan on BFing, but will be returning to work around 12ish weeks. I found a bottle starter variety pack on Amazon I'm thinking of registering for. It has 5 different bottles with 16 nipple varieties. Is that a good enough starting point? Any thoughts/feedback on the Kiinde Twist? 3) TMI warning - Has anyone figured out how to pee in the cup at the doc's without making a mess?
@kelseyh62 1)I think the white noise machine is a gift from God. It's saved us from our baby waking up when DH gets up and goes to work, when traffic picks up on our road, the a/c or heater shutting off or turning on, all these little things that you don't think about or even hear until it keeps waking your baby. 2)I think a bottle variety pack is a good place to start. When you know more what your baby favors I'd go get a few extra of those. I wasn't crazy about the kiinde I felt like it was just another gadget that took up space and didn't get used enough to justify 3)I know my doctor wants a "mid-stream" sample but I honestly place the cup and hold it there before I even sit down
1) YES 100% ABSOLUTELY to the white noise. Owen still sleeps with it loud, it helps to drown out noises and makes it so he can sleep when there's other things going on. It's one of the 5 S's of sleep from the Happiest Baby on the Block, which I swear by.
2) I wouldn't get a ton to start. We started with one brand (Avent) in the newborn size with the newborn slow flow nipples. As he got older we purchased bigger bottles and faster flow nipples until we basically had the whole line. Lucky we had no issue with the Avent bottles and didn't have to experiment with other brands.
The latest questions I've been wondering: 1) Do you really need a white noise machine? 2) How in the heck am I supposed to know which/how many bottles to get? I plan on BFing, but will be returning to work around 12ish weeks. I found a bottle starter variety pack on Amazon I'm thinking of registering for. It has 5 different bottles with 16 nipple varieties. Is that a good enough starting point? Any thoughts/feedback on the Kiinde Twist? 3) TMI warning - Has anyone figured out how to pee in the cup at the doc's without making a mess?
1) Yes for several reasons. The first is that newborn sleep can be really tough, the most effective way to get LO to sleep is to try to mimic the environment of the womb. White noise does this because it sounds similar to what is sounds like on the inside The second is that the white noise will drown out any noise that might wake baby, these noises always seem to occur after you've spent 45 minutes rocking him to sleep and you've just stepped away to try to grab a quick bite to eat. The third is that it can be a really helpful sleep signal to add to your bedtime routine. I walk into the nursery with my 12 month old and turn the noise machine on and without fail he immediately starts yawning and rubbing his eyes even if 2 seconds earlier he was running around the house like a crazy man. 2) I think the variety pack is a great starting point. We have an entire set of Avent bottles that were never used until my second child because my first absolutely hated them. 3) Not really. I just hope for the best and wash my hands. It gets really interesting around 36 weeks when you can't see and can barely reach. I had to tell my poor nurse one time that I couldn't provide a sample because I basically just peed all over my hand and missed the cup entirely.
@kelseyh62 My nephew sleeps with music, not white noise. A variety pack of bottles is a great idea. Some breastfed babies are insanely finicky. As for peeing in a cup, wait until you are 38 weeks pregnant and can't even see yourself peeing. All you can do it pray.
White noise is a must for oUr family. Without it, my son wakes up and gets out of bed if he hears us stirring. Bathroom breaks and getting ready for work would be harder with a sleepy crying baby hanging on you. After we've put him in bed to sleep, we're able to watch TV in our bedroom without him feeling left out. We've killed one from use, a sonic something that had a rotating projector. The projector died a horrible noisy death. We got an owl one (can't think of the company but they use the asterisk on their logo). The first one my son decided to bang against the floor while on vacation for fun and it broke (acoustics were very echoey in his room there). We got another one and he is much more gentle with it and can even turn it off in the morning, he calls it his owl.
It's easier to pee in the cup if you sit on the toilet backwards and straddle it. It takes much longer because you basically need to get undressed from the waist down so your stuff doesn't touch the bathroom floor.
I was indifferent about the white noise machines. My husband was dead set against it. We had friends who used it with their kid and while they slept great with it, their kid really wouldn't sleep anywhere unless they had white noise, so they either brought the machine with them everywhere, or their kid just wouldn't sleep.
There were definitely times that I wanted to use it, but it was really the only thing my husband was adamant about and I went with it. Our son was a pretty good sleeper from the start and still sleeps great at 2. We can have people at our house being loud, he sleeps fine at my parents or in laws house without anything. There are times he wakes up from noise, but overall I'm happy we decided not to use it.
We we bought two different types of bottles, dr. Brown and tommy tippee. We tried both and went with the dr. Brown, my son just seemed to do better with them. The starter pack you found sounds like it could be a good place to start!
my dr also requests a pee catch mid stream but I just start peeing and catch what I can lol
@kelseyh62, white noise is great, but you don't necessarily need a machine. You can download free white noise apps to phones or tablets. We have one of those free cheapie tablets from Verizon that we keep in my son's room and it goes all night. For the first six months though, he was in our room, so we either just used our phone or we played Baby Got Colic (the BEST and weirdest white noise ever) from iTunes through our Apple TV.
We loved the white noise machine! I used to listen to it through the baby monitor and fall asleep myself. We had the sleep sheep, so it played whale song, rain noises, a heartbeat noise, and a fourth one I can't recall.
Ok, 5th time mom with a question for those who have used the white noise machines, did any of you use them with bigger kids in the room? I'm curious to try one with this baby but wondering if it will bother my 10yr old?
@mommywesley I don't know about bigger kids but I know we hear it in our room while room sharing then over the monitor and it's never bothered either of us, especially my super picky husband, so I wouldn't think so?
Ok, 5th time mom with a question for those who have used the white noise machines, did any of you use them with bigger kids in the room? I'm curious to try one with this baby but wondering if it will bother my 10yr old?
It never bothered me or my husband over the monitor, but I don't know about other kids. Could you try it out with him before the baby is born to see? You can find free white noise sounds on YouTube if you don't want to commit to a machine just yet.
@kelseyh62 1. Yes to the white noise. We plan on getting a second one to put in our room before we transition them into DS's room. I would also suggest that you don't try to be super quiet after baby goes to bed. DS has no problem falling asleep without his white noise (mostly when we're travelling) because he's used to hearing other noises while he's sleeping/falling asleep. I know other parents that tip toe around after their kid goes to bed. That would drive me crazy. 2. Don't get too many. It sounds like the starter pack from Amazon is good. It would just suck if you got a bunch of bottles, only to find that you or the baby hate a particular one or ones. 3. I usually end up peeing on my hand or over filling the cup and making a mess. Sorry I'm no help with this one.
@mrshuse525 I plan on putting the twins with DS around 6 months. My plan is to have them in our room for the first 6 months and then try to transition them. We did a similar thing with DS so I'm hoping it works again. We only have two bedrooms downstairs and I'm not comfortable putting DS upstairs by himself at all so I'm not really sure what our other option would be.
I'm obviously not a STM, but I've slept with a fan since college for white noise. My best friend sleeps with a fan and started her daughter sleeping with one as well. I've checked out some sound machines and I can't decide between a sound machine or a fan.
@emy730 That's a great idea! I may try it out in their room, all 4 are in there right now so I'll see if it bugs any of them.
How well do your boys sleep in the same room? Do you put them to bed all at the same time. We have the older 3 in one room right now and DS4 is in his own room. Within the next year or two, unless we strike it rich and can buy a bigger house, we will have to move N to that room so all 4 boys will be in the same room and baby girl will have the small room. Right now, all 3 boys go to bed at the same time. We usually have to separate E and R to get them to sleep.
@emy730 That's a great idea! I may try it out in their room, all 4 are in there right now so I'll see if it bugs any of them.
How well do your boys sleep in the same room? Do you put them to bed all at the same time. We have the older 3 in one room right now and DS4 is in his own room. Within the next year or two, unless we strike it rich and can buy a bigger house, we will have to move N to that room so all 4 boys will be in the same room and baby girl will have the small room. Right now, all 3 boys go to bed at the same time. We usually have to separate E and R to get them to sleep.
I'm only a STM, but I'm the oldest of 6 and at one time shared a room with 3 of my siblings from age 8 until about age 12, then with my 2 sisters from that point until I got married, so I can share my childhood experience with you if it would be helpful
At no point did all 4 of us have the same bedtime. When my 2 oldest brothers moved in with my oldest sister and me (which happened because the twins were born at that point and my parents wanted them to share a room), we were 8, 6, 5,and 3. I know at that point #3 and #4 probably shared a bedtime, and I shared a bedtime with #2. When I entered 3rd grade, though, I got a new bedtime, and from that point until when the boys moved out, I was always up 15-30 minutes later than #2, who was up that much later than #3, who would eventually be up that much later than #4. Then, when #2 and #4 moved out, the twins moved in with us (#5 was a boy but my parents didn't want him in with my brothers yet, and he was young enough that they didn't care that he was sharing a room with me and my sisters). There's an 8 year age gap between me and them, so we definitely didn't share a bedtime! So, multiple kids sharing a room but not a bedtime can definitely be done.
That being said, some nights went better than others. Some nights we all went right to sleep, other nights we played games and goofed off. Those nights would usually end with my dad lecturing us and, if we were REALLY bad (like,trying to build forts in the middle of the night or jumping on each other's beds bad), we'd get spanked. I can say that from a kid's perspective, sharing a room with all those siblings was awesome. There were definitely times when I wished I had my own room, like when my sister would steal my clothes, or when my siblings would hide under my bed to spy on me (they were obsessed with spies, lol), but my memories of sharing a room with my brothers and sisters are now some of my favorite childhood memories.
Oh, and our room was always a huge mess, which is to be expected with that many kids, but I know that would drive my mom crazy.
Anyone else ever have no desire to eat vegetables?! I usually eat very healthy and lately all I want is ice cream, oreos, peanut butter and fluff and anything sweet! Meat has even been freaking me out. I am trying to squeeze the healthy stuff in when I can but it's not easy... makes me nervous that I'm already a bad mom by not providing my baby all the nutrients that he needs.
I can't just eat any vegetable these days. Only certain ones sound good when others sound horrible. Lately, I've been having steamed broccoli, peas, brussel sprouts or corn on the cob - all seasoned with a little butter. I can't do squash, carrots, any medley mix, or pretty much anything else. I'm even having a hard time with salad these days. So weird.
@wholesome ok I'm glad I'm not the only one. And you're right... some days I can eat certain ones. Asparagus has been a consistent NO. Tomatoes are the ones I've incorporated in meals most.....and salads..... O MAN i want nothing to do with them! It's so weird you just said that!
Man, I used to LOVE steamed asparagus. After I gave birth, I developed an allergy to them. I get hives - not every single time I eat them but enough to make me stop eating them all together... Doesn't matter if it's organic or not.
Re: Ask a STM+ Week of 8/29
I really think you have to find a reason why you want to go med-free to use as inspiration. With the prevalence of pain meds, it's hard to imagine choosing pain over pain-free (hopefully!) without finding a focal point that helps you stay the course.
I would say things I did right were learning about the stages of labor beforehand, walking around A LOT, refusing to have my water broken early in labor, reminding myself throughout my labor that each contraction was only temporary, and visualizing each contraction as "good pain" that was for a purpose as opposed to "bad pain".
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
I hope you are able to have your med-free birth
The December board has been doing a med-free check in for the last couple of months that you might want to check out.
@katesmama0706 @ThePax89 I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one looking forward to birth - most people I know can't understand why I'm not dreading labor and delivery.
My OB was amazing, and kept me calm, but I knew how close we were to not having her with us. It was really hard for me to connect with her after that out of fear.
I know the likelihood of this time going poorly again is rare, but there's still that anxiety. I've even considered an elective CS, but I want to give birth naturally if I can.
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
I'm thinking maybe I should try out the one that's covered and if I'm not feeling it just pony up and get the Medela?
1) Do you really need a white noise machine?
2) How in the heck am I supposed to know which/how many bottles to get? I plan on BFing, but will be returning to work around 12ish weeks. I found a bottle starter variety pack on Amazon I'm thinking of registering for. It has 5 different bottles with 16 nipple varieties. Is that a good enough starting point? Any thoughts/feedback on the Kiinde Twist?
3) TMI warning - Has anyone figured out how to pee in the cup at the doc's without making a mess?
1)I think the white noise machine is a gift from God. It's saved us from our baby waking up when DH gets up and goes to work, when traffic picks up on our road, the a/c or heater shutting off or turning on, all these little things that you don't think about or even hear until it keeps waking your baby.
2)I think a bottle variety pack is a good place to start. When you know more what your baby favors I'd go get a few extra of those. I wasn't crazy about the kiinde I felt like it was just another gadget that took up space and didn't get used enough to justify
3)I know my doctor wants a "mid-stream" sample but I honestly place the cup and hold it there before I even sit down
1) YES 100% ABSOLUTELY to the white noise. Owen still sleeps with it loud, it helps to drown out noises and makes it so he can sleep when there's other things going on. It's one of the 5 S's of sleep from the Happiest Baby on the Block, which I swear by.
2) I wouldn't get a ton to start. We started with one brand (Avent) in the newborn size with the newborn slow flow nipples. As he got older we purchased bigger bottles and faster flow nipples until we basically had the whole line. Lucky we had no issue with the Avent bottles and didn't have to experiment with other brands.
3) Practice at home maybe?
2) I think the variety pack is a great starting point. We have an entire set of Avent bottles that were never used until my second child because my first absolutely hated them.
3) Not really. I just hope for the best and wash my hands. It gets really interesting around 36 weeks when you can't see and can barely reach. I had to tell my poor nurse one time that I couldn't provide a sample because I basically just peed all over my hand and missed the cup entirely.
My nephew sleeps with music, not white noise. A variety pack of bottles is a great idea. Some breastfed babies are insanely finicky. As for peeing in a cup, wait until you are 38 weeks pregnant and can't even see yourself peeing. All you can do it pray.
There were definitely times that I wanted to use it, but it was really the only thing my husband was adamant about and I went with it. Our son was a pretty good sleeper from the start and still sleeps great at 2. We can have people at our house being loud, he sleeps fine at my parents or in laws house without anything. There are times he wakes up from noise, but overall I'm happy we decided not to use it.
We we bought two different types of bottles, dr. Brown and tommy tippee. We tried both and went with the dr. Brown, my son just seemed to do better with them. The starter pack you found sounds like it could be a good place to start!
my dr also requests a pee catch mid stream but I just start peeing and catch what I can lol
Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
1. Yes to the white noise. We plan on getting a second one to put in our room before we transition them into DS's room. I would also suggest that you don't try to be super quiet after baby goes to bed. DS has no problem falling asleep without his white noise (mostly when we're travelling) because he's used to hearing other noises while he's sleeping/falling asleep. I know other parents that tip toe around after their kid goes to bed. That would drive me crazy.
2. Don't get too many. It sounds like the starter pack from Amazon is good. It would just suck if you got a bunch of bottles, only to find that you or the baby hate a particular one or ones.
3. I usually end up peeing on my hand or over filling the cup and making a mess. Sorry I'm no help with this one.
BFP#5 5/22/17 EDD:1/27/17 It's a GIRL!!!!
At no point did all 4 of us have the same bedtime. When my 2 oldest brothers moved in with my oldest sister and me (which happened because the twins were born at that point and my parents wanted them to share a room), we were 8, 6, 5,and 3. I know at that point #3 and #4 probably shared a bedtime, and I shared a bedtime with #2. When I entered 3rd grade, though, I got a new bedtime, and from that point until when the boys moved out, I was always up 15-30 minutes later than #2, who was up that much later than #3, who would eventually be up that much later than #4. Then, when #2 and #4 moved out, the twins moved in with us (#5 was a boy but my parents didn't want him in with my brothers yet, and he was young enough that they didn't care that he was sharing a room with me and my sisters). There's an 8 year age gap between me and them, so we definitely didn't share a bedtime! So, multiple kids sharing a room but not a bedtime can definitely be done.
That being said, some nights went better than others. Some nights we all went right to sleep, other nights we played games and goofed off. Those nights would usually end with my dad lecturing us and, if we were REALLY bad (like,trying to build forts in the middle of the night or jumping on each other's beds bad), we'd get spanked. I can say that from a kid's perspective, sharing a room with all those siblings was awesome. There were definitely times when I wished I had my own room, like when my sister would steal my clothes, or when my siblings would hide under my bed to spy on me (they were obsessed with spies, lol), but my memories of sharing a room with my brothers and sisters are now some of my favorite childhood memories.
Oh, and our room was always a huge mess, which is to be expected with that many kids, but I know that would drive my mom crazy.
Hope that helps!
I'm relying on those prenatals to give baby lots of vitamins that I'm lacking!