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February 2017 Moms
birdiejo
member
NBR: Dog Dilemma
birdiejo
member
I wasn't sure if this was too heavy for randoms. I also think I know the answer but need to hear from random strangers.
I have two dogs and one toddler. One of my dogs is a hound mix and has a territorial problem. He's 6 years old and while he is an extremely sweet and gentle dog 99% of the time, about 1% of the time it can get really scary. He's the reason my other dog is blind, he's bitten my husband three times over the years, he got both of my in laws. Luckily all pretty minor injuries but he's 60 lbs and obviously can do some damage. We know when he gets territorial and his trigger situations. We have to feed him alone, if he's in a corner of our room, no one can go near him. Every time an incident happens we discuss what to do and can never come to a conclusion. We've tried behavior training but it hasnt worked. I feel like I'm constantly hyper aware of where he is at any moment because I have my toddler running around and I'm constantly running after her, making sure she's not going towards him if he's in a trigger spot. Well, today it happened and luckily he did not get her but he did scare the shit out of her which in turn scared the shit out of me.
Now I'm thinking, no way I can have my toddler running around plus my infant and my old blind dog around my other dog. But at the same time he's one of our babies too ... I don't know. What do you guys think?
I have two dogs and one toddler. One of my dogs is a hound mix and has a territorial problem. He's 6 years old and while he is an extremely sweet and gentle dog 99% of the time, about 1% of the time it can get really scary. He's the reason my other dog is blind, he's bitten my husband three times over the years, he got both of my in laws. Luckily all pretty minor injuries but he's 60 lbs and obviously can do some damage. We know when he gets territorial and his trigger situations. We have to feed him alone, if he's in a corner of our room, no one can go near him. Every time an incident happens we discuss what to do and can never come to a conclusion. We've tried behavior training but it hasnt worked. I feel like I'm constantly hyper aware of where he is at any moment because I have my toddler running around and I'm constantly running after her, making sure she's not going towards him if he's in a trigger spot. Well, today it happened and luckily he did not get her but he did scare the shit out of her which in turn scared the shit out of me.
Now I'm thinking, no way I can have my toddler running around plus my infant and my old blind dog around my other dog. But at the same time he's one of our babies too ... I don't know. What do you guys think?
Re: NBR: Dog Dilemma
I have never been a dog person so I'm probably not the best source of advice but my kid(s) comes first. If it's bad enough that you are scared for their safety, that's not healthy for anyone. Plus maybe the presence of children is agitating to the dog too? Obviously I wouldn't toss my dog out the door and say good luck, but I would exhaust all resources to make sure that the dog and children are safe. It sounds like you've done a lot.. Is there any close relatives without children that would be willing to temporarily home them? Idk.. Anything I would suggest probably sucks bc you shouldn't have to choose one or another.
Maybe the backyard, maybe rehomed, but my child's safety will ALWAYS be the priority.
Its hard enough to keep your eye on a toddler as it is, but once you have another kid around it's going to be near impossible.
Sorry you have to deal with this, but your children have to come first.
Biting your husband, inlaws and blinding your other dog would not make me hopeful that things would get better. I am sorry, it can't be an easy decision at all.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
It sounds like he needs a home without children or other pets. Would be best for your family, but also best for him.
Samantha - 4/5/2017
We ended up sending him to live with my in laws and his behavior turned around. Our other pets are less stressed and I am no longer worried about leaving my kids alone. Some dogs are just better without other dogs and children in the home. It's a tough decision but you have to do what's best for your family.
I am huge dog lover. And I may take heat for this, but I think the dog needs to go. It sounds like you've already tried everything. I wouldn't straight up take him to the shelter, but I would start looking for a new home. It'd be what's best for the kids and the dog. The dog clearly gets stressed out or it wouldn't snap like that. Maybe it just needs to be in a calm home with no children. Don't think of it was abandoning your dog, think of it as giving him a less stressful life.
We had to do this with my rat terrier mix. He was very territorial as well and it got worse when we moved into our old apartment. He would freak out anytime our other dog would get near him. He never got aggressive with people, but I wasn't willing to take that chance, and I also felt bad that he was so on edge all of the time. I found a sweet old man who fell in love with him instantly, and the dog took to him as well. It worked out really great and the guy sent me a photo every Christmas for 2 years. These stories CAN have a good ending.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
I have dealt with having 2 dogs under one roof that don't get along ever. I could not figure out what the trigger was, anytime they saw eachother they fought. There was no aggression towards humans or other animals. It was strictly an issue between those 2 dogs.
Your situation is tricky. You certainly don't want to just shove your dog out the door, I understand loving your pet as a family member, my husband and I are the same way with ours. The problem arises with trying to keep your kids and blind dog safe, and your stress levels down which will be very hard.
Do you have anywhere in your house that you could rig into a place just for that one dog that isn't accessible by your blind dog or toddler? I'm not talking about a cage, but somewhere that this dog being territorial could claim as his own and have it truly be his own? Like a basement area or room? Also, another semi-dumb question, is that particular dog fixed? Sometimes that can help if they are not fixed, but some dogs are built differently and have behaviors that aren't what we would deem the greatest. I am coming from a place of being an animal lover myself and also a very protective woman. No judgement, and I am trying to be helpful given the stress I am sure you are under. I know some people will say, duh get rid of the dog, but I know it is easier said than done for someone who is an animal lover and feels for the dog's situation as well as her own. That being said, if the dog did bite your toddler, there is no regard for a harmless child in the dog's eyes and I would say def def find a new home without kids or other pets with someone who is understanding of the situation. A warning is usually different than a bite or attack, and many times dogs don't give much warning if they are truly going to bite or attack. A warning from my older dog to the younger dog if she is being a pest is a very loud upset bark, but there is no biting or contact.
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
With time to go before the baby, maybe you can start reaching out to no-kill rescues, area trainers, your social circle, and your vet to find a home better suited to his needs, where he can be happy in a quieter environment. I wouldn't bring him to a shelter or do Craigslist. Those can have pretty tough outcomes. Sorry you are going through this.
The only other option I can think of would be keeping him in a separate part of the house while trying a new behaviorist, and either you or H giving him individual attention and exercise a few times a day. I'm a big believer in positive reinforcement training. Have you tried that philosophy yet? It worked miracles on my dog. Some way to give the dog a "safe space" like a crate to go to when he feels overwhelmed could also be useful.
@PerraSucia Yes it was for his aggression specifically because his behavior otherwise is pretty good.
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
I'm curious, were all of the biting incidents connected to resource guarding behavior, or were some random? Resource guarding should be able to be addressed by training, but random biting would be more suggestive of a health/mental health situation to me.
Another training philosophy to look up that integrates pretty easily into a busy daily life and can help with resource guarding is the Nothing In Life Is Free approach. Basically, your dog has to earn everything it gets, from a pat to dinner, by performing little tasks like sit, down, paw, whatever. It's actually fun for them but is great for establishing clear boundaries.
He had a full evaluation about two months ago.. The anxiety thing is interesting to consider and I'll definitely look into it. The thing is he is a very happy go lucky, sweet, gentle dog most of the time.
@xstatic3333 Some of the biting has occurred when food is involved but the human incidents were like giving him a pat while he's lying down on a couch. My husbands experience, he gave him a kiss while they were sitting next to each other and he bit his mouth. I think you could potentially say well he took ownership of the couch in those situations or he was sleepy in the situation with my husband. I'm not sure? It seems mainly territorial. We used to have a crate for him that he was constantly in but then it became dangerous to walk up to him or by him while he was in it because he would lash out if you got too close. Now if he lies in any corner of our bedroom it's a trigger point.
It kind of make me wonder about his eyesight, too. Vets don't always spend a lot of time looking at that, but I wonder if the pats are catching him off guard or something.
Some cases of aggression can be re-programmed, but often when dealing with a dog that has physically acted on it and at his age, it can be very difficult to completely fix. Oftentimes and without knowing, we create these problems with our dogs by allowing them to assume a higher position in our "pack", or sometimes it can be a genetic predisposition that is too dominant to train out. Are there special cases that can be 100% fixed, sure, but with children in the house, it's a scary risk. We also have a dog that is skittish around new people, however she has never actually become physically aggressive. Some things to be aware of, are body language. If your child continues to follow your dog and they keep leaving the area, it means they want to be left alone, etc. There are various other signs to look for to avoid these types of situations, but honestly it can be difficult to always have an eye out with a full house. I always make sure to read my dogs body language and never leave her in a stressful situation or alone with our toddler. As much as we love her, we know if the time ever came where she did act out physically, we would need to find her a new home.
It is a very difficult decision, and not one that comes lightly, but obviously no one should judge you for putting your kids safety first.
I'm going to be honest- rehoming him may be extremely difficult. Even if you find someone without children or a single adult to take him in, the chances of that person never having children/other people around are slim. The person would have to be committed to providing an environment that would allow the dog to feel safe, in addition to providing a safe space when he/she has guests over. It absolutely can be done so there is hope.
If that doesn't work out, humane euthanasia may be the next "best" option. It pains me to even type that out and I truly hope it doesn't come to that.
But I would exercise every possible option I could but in the end, I do agree that your children's safety comes first.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I think there's lots of good advice on this thread, and I absolutely agree that your children's safety comes first.
If I were in your shoes I might try 1 last time to address the territorial behavior, but know that it might not be fully possible. And if you do end up re-homing the dog, I agree that it will be better for him in the end as well.
We had to re-home our family dog when I was younger, and I was devastated, but now know it was the right thing to do. He was fundamentally a good dog, but he really needed a lot of one on one attention and training, and our home was too chaotic with 6 kids and friends, etc, coming in and out all the time. He went to live with a single man upstate and was definitely happier as a one-man dog.
Before you go to a shelter it's worth looking into whether there are any local rescue organizations that would be able to help you find a new home, and potentially offer temporary foster in the meantime if necessary. Our local SPCA shelter posts courtesy listings for dogs in need of new homes, but who are not actually living at the shelter. There are also some rescue sites that specialize in specific breeds, so that could be an option as well.
ETA I'd try to avoid shelters if possible.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Also, the fact that this dog caused your other dog to go blind sounds very serious.
I was lucky there was a plastic surgeon available in 1982. A perk of living near a big city. You can't tell now. my face looked like hamburger for months. And my parents had to hold me down daily and apply medicine. I cannot even immagine.
My mom's cocker spaniel had not been agressive but was jealous of me (she was my mom's baby before I was). They gave the dog away to friends.
I have ZERO tolerance for an agressive dog around my kiddo. We have had two dogs since we have had DS (our first dog was sweet, older and passed away, current dog is an adopted rescue who is great with him). I love dogs, but my kid comes first.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
Vets, local rescues, dog trainers, and even feed stores (if you live rurally) would all be worth giving a call to. Often times they will have contacts who they reach out to in difficult behavioral situations. As long as you are upfront about his past issues, you hopefully have enough time before February to find him a safe home with no kids. A nice bachelor sounds like a great fit for him!
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16