I'll jump right in today... I've been working at home due to morning sickness. No big deal. We scheduled a meeting Friday for today at noon, that HAD to be in person. #1 priority, so I drag myself in the office to attend. 30 minutes before it starts, they move it to tomorrow afternoon. So not only did I waste my efforts today to get here for no reason, I have to do it again tomorrow.
So much for number 1 priority over everything! They didn't even give a reason for bumping it, but I'm 90% sure it's because the perpetually annoying business guy "forgot" he had a dental appointment.
Every morning this weekend my dogs decided they *had* to potty any time between 5-7am. They don't normally do that. But it started Friday and continued this morning when my H let them out at 6:30. They normally wait until we get up and start getting ready in the morning. But no, they couldn't let me sleep in on the weekend when my sleep is already crappy. Not a happy Monday morning.
Ok sorry for this rant in advance..One of my best friends is getting married next June and I am a bridesmaid. She has been saying since the moment she got engaged this past January that she is having her bachelorette party in Las Vegas for Memorial Day weekend. I already hated the thought of paying to fly across the country to attend (we live in Ohio) but now that I will have the baby I really don't want to go. I tried to already let her know it might not be an option and she freaked out stating "I have to go" and it won't cost that much. The baby will only be 3 months old, it will be right before I have to go back to work, plus my husband is looking for a new job so I can't really say if we will have the extra money. How do I explain to her that it's just not something that I want to do?!
I wish I could bring in my office chair from home. The chairs we are given at work suck for how fancy they look, they offer no support and my lower belly aches whenever I stand up. I could get so much more done if I had a comfy chair that didn't make me ache every day.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
I'm tired of my blood pressure being so damn low. I feel terrible. (Light headed, very weak, anxious, etc) to where I'm practically worthless and have to lay down until I feel better. Every time I mention this to my doctor, (my OB, endocrinologist, etc) they all just tell me to eat salty food and insinuate it's really not that big of a problem. Ugh...when it's making me feel crappy randomly throughout the day it's just not fun. I load up on pickles and sodium packed foods and it does seem to help a bit. It's just frustrating.
@lfrank12 Man it's hard when there's pregnancy/baby and wedding conflict. if you're planning on bfing/pumping it's going to be a whole ordeal right? Also I've never heard of a trip to Vegas not costing that much.
@lfrank12 When they actually start planning I would firmly but politely let her know you can't go. I would offer sincere regret but make it clear I am not open to changing my mind. Those sort of bachelor/bachelorette parties are so unfair if they are required.
@lfrank12 I think you need to tell her straight up what the issues are. And for the record, she's being a bit of a bridezilla right now by expecting you to come when you have SO much going on. I don't understand people who have bachelor parties in other cities and expect EVERYONE to come.
Ugh my allergies have now caused a sore throat and the Zyrtec I've been taking is doing nothing to help with the sneezing. Makes it even harder to sleep because I can hardly breath when I lie down.
@MrsP052909 have you talked to your doctor about the allergies? Mine said I can take Rhinocort for days when it's really bad. It's very important to be able to breathe. If you're not getting enough oxygen, neither is your baby.
Thanks @homemake@AfKash@blush64 for your advice! I tried to bring up the fact I hope to be breastfeeding so I wouldn't even drink and she was saying I couldn't even bring my milk back with me on the plane anyways. Regardless, I will have to leave at times to go pump to keep my supply up. It is really hard to explain because she doesn't have a baby so she doesn't understand my concerns. I just know when I say I'm not going she is going to be so livid and probably bitch about me to the 7 other bridesmaids. Ugh not looking forward to the conversation when it comes up again!
@lfrank12 do you know the other bridesmaids well? Maybe you can talk to a few of them and they can help you to get the bride to understand. In the end, though, you do what you have to do. If the bride didn't understand now, she will when she had a baby herself and she'll realize what kind of pressure she was putting on you.
@lfrank12 wow that is really crappy of your friend. I don't think you need to give her excuses or tell her it's because you really don't want to go. When it comes time to do the planning just say I can't make it I'm really sorry but I did give you a heads up that it'd be unlikely I could make it. Maybe ask if you can take her to dinner and drinks just the two of you sometime before her wedding.
My bitch-fest is also wedding related. DH's best friend who was his best man has made DH best man in his wedding that is coming up in a couple of weeks. Except it's not a wedding since he's already married. They got married in Feb when they moved to Germany so that his company would pay for her relocation as well. He was really great for our wedding so if that were the only thing I'd just let it go, though it seems ridiculous to be taking time off from work and shelling out a ton of money for a tux, hotel room, travel etc... to see a fake wedding. Then about a month ago he told DH that he caught his wife cheating on him and found out that it's been going on for a long time and he didn't think he could make it work. So DH was really supportive of him and stuff but obviously that kind of clouts the whole wedding vibe since he's decided to give it a shot anyways since he'd have to get divorced other wise and doesn't want to be alone in Germany. I mean it's obviously a personal decision and they need to decide what works for them but from the conversations he and DH are having it sounds more like he's staying with her b/c it's easier than that's actually where his heart is which I find sad. Finally the last reason I'm annoyed is the bachelor party his friend is expecting. DH was telling me about it sounds really expensive so I asked who else was going b/c if there were more people and they could split the cost that might be better but he tells me it's just 1 other guy and he's 19 and can't chip anything in... I was so mad. Dude we're buying a house and have a baby on the way and I get he's your best friend but he's already married and there's no reason why paying for all 3 of them should fall on us, if the 19 year old can't pay his way then maybe he shouldn't come... Also I'm really hoping that I don't get invited to a bachelorette party b/c the last thing I want to be doing is going bar hopping with a bunch of girls I don't know when I'm pregnant and tired and can't drink!
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@marriedhamstermom I don't think the groom is supposed to plan his bachelor party anyway. If your husband is going to pay then he should be able to decide what he is doing and he should be able to make it as simple as he wants. Maybe your husband can be open with him and explain that while he wanted to be there for him and his wedding there isn't a lot of extra money for expensive bachelor parties I don't think bachelor parties are necessary but especially when he is already married. Edit
@marriedhamstermom Yeeaahhh, I agree with @blush64. I don't see why he should get a bachelor party in the first place if he is already married...that doesn't make any sense. He is not a bachelor.
@marriedhamstermom I dint understand why your husband would be paying for the entire bachelor party. Nobody has money growing on trees. I would think the "groom" would have more sense than allowing your husband to pay for all of it. Plus, that 19 year old needs to not attend if he can't afford it.
@blush64 I agree the groom shouldn't plan their own but he did and DH already said it's all fine and told me after so i should probably be more mad at DH for not standing up and saying it wasn't ok but really I'm annoyed with both of them... Like I get it his friend planned an expensive bachelor party for him so he feels like he owes him but what he's not seeing is that our situation is very different than it was for his... I think DH got upset with me when I pointed all this out b/c he was just like you think I don't agree with you? So maybe he does see it but feels trapped I guess.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
My bitch fest.... having trouble breathing again. I am seriously completely useless these past few months. I told my niece and my sister that I'd help with my nieces wedding planning... but of course, nothing that requires physical labor. And I refuse to take my rescue inhaler unless absolutely required. I've already taken too much steroids this pregnancy as it is.
@marriedhamstermom I can understand your husband feeling trapped but maybe he can talk to the groom about it. Tell him he really wants to do the best he can for him as he appreciates his friendship a lot but due to x, y, z he really can't do everything as suggested. (Or due to finances, or something with less feelings) If the guy is a good friend he should be able to understand your situation is different and bring down the expectations.
@lfrank12 your friend is acting extremely entitled in every way. What someone told me when I was planning my own wedding, is that no one is going to care as much about it as I do. And I fully agree with that. I get so disgusted when people want to celebrate a life event in a grandiose way, without acknowledging the life events of others. I lost a friendship because I wasn't willing to pay fly out to CA twice in a months time for the bachelorette party and the wedding I was supposed to be in. She kicked me out of her wedding, showing her true colors, and the relationship desolved. I sure hope her wine country bachelorette party was so special thay she's cool with being alone now, because other girls cut her off after the fiasco too.
@marriedhamstermom along the same vein as what I said above, I think your DH's friend is being ridiculous. They had their wedding, if they want to play dress up and reenact it, cool. But that doesn't mean everyone else needs to play charades along with them. Plus, why is he having an extravagant bachelor party (that he's planning himself!?) If he's not even a bachelor?? They were adult enough to get married for whatever benefits, then they're adult enough to lay in the bed they made. And hats off to the "bride" for already cheating on her husband, she sounds despicable.
My bitchfest: we're all checked out of our loft, and now they're claiming our $1500 damage deposit will most likely not be coming back to us. We left that place in way better condition than it was given to us, and it's a 110 year old building. So of COURSE there's cracks in the plaster and creaks in the floor from the building resetting for over a century. But f@ck it all, we're being charged to replaster the whole place (among other random things, like a rattling screen and our spiral staircase squeeks). They really ruined the nostalgic memories we had of our first place together for the past 5 years. It was a sweet apartment in an amazing area in the city. Now I'm bitter as all get out because this shitshow is the last memory I'll have of it. I should've left a note for the new tenants saying to document every.single.thing in the apt so they don't get screwed over too. ARGH.
@yogadevil when we got our house it was 2 weeks before our apartment lease was up. We had our apartment flooded right before New Year's and they tried to blame our dogs for ripping a pipe out of the wall behind the toilet, so that was a mess. We had renters insurance so we were working with them when we get an "eviction warning" letter saying we didn't pay our rent, *then* we got a bill in the mail where they had placed the damage charges on our account and when I sent in the rent check they put it towards the damages instead of for rent. This was early February, so it took them awhile to put the charges on our account. We had tried to call their main office and never once got a call back after leaving multiple messages and the office on site never knew what was going on because the letters were coming from home office. So our insurance finally settles everything and sent a check. Beginning of March we get another "eviction warning" letter saying we have 30 days, which is when our lease was up anyway. I was fed up and I knew they had gotten their money. So we closed on our house and moved everything out, DH went to turn in the keys and the lady at the office says "you're going to get charged for not giving a 30 day notice." Nowhere in our lease did it say we had to give a 30 day notice, we had told them we were not renewing our lease, and they were "evicting" us. Then I just got a bill in the mail *last week* (we moved March 31) for 2 MONTHS of rent and other random fees. Needless to say, I'm glad I never have to deal with apartments again and I really hate that management, or lack thereof. And I definitely feel your pain! (sorry that was so long)
My bitchfest is about a lady from our church. She went on the same mission trip my husband went on and apparently they became bff on this trip. She married and has 2 kids of her own, yet she's trying to be my husband's bff and send him Facebook messages all the time now. My husband was very upfront with her from the beginning and told her if she wanted to be his friend, she pretty much had to become friends with me and he be friends with her husband and be couples friends. We've all hung out a couple times, but it seemed super awkward and kinda forced. I've talked to my husband about it and I know there's nothing going on, but it just pisses me off that she thinks that's okay. I'm pretty sure she'd hate it if I started messaging her husband.
@becbec28 Omfg!! I can't believe they put you through all that!!! That's a load of crock, I'm so sorry. I've never had landlord issues ever before, so this surprised me, and it also makes me mad for you. I wish there were better tenants rights for these issues
@AfKash Yuuuuup. They were so awesome the entire 5 years we've lived there, especially with stuff breaking just from being an old place...then this. It's shady and inappropriate to charge us for the foundation settling. Plus there were repairs for other cracks long before we moved in. Just part of the charm for the old place, which we knew, and chose the loft because it had tons of character. They can suck it, seriously.
@yogadevil If they recently listed the place for rent again, I would check to see if they used the same listing photos from before your rental started. Often times the photos are recycled... you might be able to prove plaster cracks existed prior to your tenancy. Also, check zillow.
Deposit rulings are often very PRO-TENANT, and if you can prove you didn't damage the items they're claiming, you may be able to get part of your deposit back. I'm not a lawyer, just an idea!
Only if they are also friends with my husband. That's pretty much the way I think it should go.
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't like this. I have male friends who aren't friends with my husband, and he has MANY female friends that I've only met a few times in passing. His best friend in the entire world is a woman I've only met once. I know there's nothing going on, they are just friends, and that's fine. He doesn't have to be friends with my friends and I don't have to be friends with his. We do have mutual friends, but not exclusively.
@WinchesterGirl the photos they recycled were taken even before the tenant before us. Who knows how many times they used them before that.
I'm on the fence about fighting them on all of it. Out of principle, yes of course! But after the packing/moving/unpacking/cleaning the apt/etc my Dr is threatening bedrest again. A huge part of me just wants to wash my hands of it and move forward, but thats a heck of a lot of money just to shrug off. I guess I'll see in 30 days when they're mandated to send me the itemized report if there's anything that would be easy to fight
Only if they are also friends with my husband. That's pretty much the way I think it should go.
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't like this. I have male friends who aren't friends with my husband, and he has MANY female friends that I've only met a few times in passing. His best friend in the entire world is a woman I've only met once. I know there's nothing going on, they are just friends, and that's fine. He doesn't have to be friends with my friends and I don't have to be friends with his. We do have mutual friends, but not exclusively.
I trust my Hubs 100% and we have lots of non-mutual friends. we both have male and female friends. but I'd be hesitant if a woman suddenly tried to strike up a friendship with him and not get to know me at all. Same with any man who tried to befriend me but didn't want to meet or know my husband.
I think, for me, it would be a gut check question-- do I trust Hubs enough to be friends with this person if they try to start an emotional affair (or physical). if no, why not? And I'd have to ask my husband if he was willing to have a friend that may undermine our relationship. if yes, why?
My bitchfest is about a lady from our church. She went on the same mission trip my husband went on and apparently they became bff on this trip. She married and has 2 kids of her own, yet she's trying to be my husband's bff and send him Facebook messages all the time now. My husband was very upfront with her from the beginning and told her if she wanted to be his friend, she pretty much had to become friends with me and he be friends with her husband and be couples friends. We've all hung out a couple times, but it seemed super awkward and kinda forced. I've talked to my husband about it and I know there's nothing going on, but it just pisses me off that she thinks that's okay. I'm pretty sure she'd hate it if I started messaging her husband.
It's just FB messages, right? I mean it's not like she's trying to get him alonee or something. They bonded and formed a friendship, she made the effort to meet you and her husband was included, I guess I don't see what the problem is. Honestly, you seem jealous.
Only if they are also friends with my husband. That's pretty much the way I think it should go.
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't like this. I have male friends who aren't friends with my husband, and he has MANY female friends that I've only met a few times in passing. His best friend in the entire world is a woman I've only met once. I know there's nothing going on, they are just friends, and that's fine. He doesn't have to be friends with my friends and I don't have to be friends with his. We do have mutual friends, but not exclusively
Stuck in here.
As long as the people in the relationship are in agreement I don't think anyone else has to like it. My husband has never had friends who were women since I have known him, other than wives of friends. My close male friends and I grew apart a several years back.
It isn't simply a trust thing. Someone who might not be comfortable with this might completely trust their partner. I don't think you can look at someone's relationship from the outside and judge their level if trust because they both agree not to have close friends of the opposite sex, or the sex you are attracted to.(Not that PP implied that, but I have heard it before)
Edit I am not sure how this works for everyone. I don't think there is a wrong way unless the couple is unhappy.
@scifichick09 No offense here. I had to get used to having that attitude towards relationships. I have some really close relatives in relationships that I really don't understand. I just keep reminding myself as long as they are happy because I would be really miserable in the same position.
H and I also don't have many opposite-sex friends who are not mutual. The ones we do have are long distance or confined to work. It's not out of jealousy or trying to control each other, it just sort of happened that way. Then again, neither of us has much of a social life to begin with. I get too anxious, he has no interest.
Re: Monday B*fest
So much for number 1 priority over everything! They didn't even give a reason for bumping it, but I'm 90% sure it's because the perpetually annoying business guy "forgot" he had a dental appointment.
Every morning this weekend my dogs decided they *had* to potty any time between 5-7am. They don't normally do that. But it started Friday and continued this morning when my H let them out at 6:30. They normally wait until we get up and start getting ready in the morning. But no, they couldn't let me sleep in on the weekend when my sleep is already crappy. Not a happy Monday morning.
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
My bitch-fest is also wedding related. DH's best friend who was his best man has made DH best man in his wedding that is coming up in a couple of weeks. Except it's not a wedding since he's already married. They got married in Feb when they moved to Germany so that his company would pay for her relocation as well. He was really great for our wedding so if that were the only thing I'd just let it go, though it seems ridiculous to be taking time off from work and shelling out a ton of money for a tux, hotel room, travel etc... to see a fake wedding. Then about a month ago he told DH that he caught his wife cheating on him and found out that it's been going on for a long time and he didn't think he could make it work. So DH was really supportive of him and stuff but obviously that kind of clouts the whole wedding vibe since he's decided to give it a shot anyways since he'd have to get divorced other wise and doesn't want to be alone in Germany. I mean it's obviously a personal decision and they need to decide what works for them but from the conversations he and DH are having it sounds more like he's staying with her b/c it's easier than that's actually where his heart is which I find sad. Finally the last reason I'm annoyed is the bachelor party his friend is expecting. DH was telling me about it sounds really expensive so I asked who else was going b/c if there were more people and they could split the cost that might be better but he tells me it's just 1 other guy and he's 19 and can't chip anything in... I was so mad. Dude we're buying a house and have a baby on the way and I get he's your best friend but he's already married and there's no reason why paying for all 3 of them should fall on us, if the 19 year old can't pay his way then maybe he shouldn't come... Also I'm really hoping that I don't get invited to a bachelorette party b/c the last thing I want to be doing is going bar hopping with a bunch of girls I don't know when I'm pregnant and tired and can't drink!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Edit
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
And I refuse to take my rescue inhaler unless absolutely required. I've already taken too much steroids this pregnancy as it is.
I hope it works out either way.
@marriedhamstermom along the same vein as what I said above, I think your DH's friend is being ridiculous. They had their wedding, if they want to play dress up and reenact it, cool. But that doesn't mean everyone else needs to play charades along with them. Plus, why is he having an extravagant bachelor party (that he's planning himself!?) If he's not even a bachelor?? They were adult enough to get married for whatever benefits, then they're adult enough to lay in the bed they made. And hats off to the "bride" for already cheating on her husband, she sounds despicable.
My bitchfest: we're all checked out of our loft, and now they're claiming our $1500 damage deposit will most likely not be coming back to us. We left that place in way better condition than it was given to us, and it's a 110 year old building. So of COURSE there's cracks in the plaster and creaks in the floor from the building resetting for over a century. But f@ck it all, we're being charged to replaster the whole place (among other random things, like a rattling screen and our spiral staircase squeeks). They really ruined the nostalgic memories we had of our first place together for the past 5 years. It was a sweet apartment in an amazing area in the city. Now I'm bitter as all get out because this shitshow is the last memory I'll have of it. I should've left a note for the new tenants saying to document every.single.thing in the apt so they don't get screwed over too. ARGH.
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17
trip. She married and has 2 kids of her own, yet she's trying to be my husband's bff and send him Facebook messages all the time now. My husband was very upfront with her from the beginning and told her if she wanted to be his friend, she pretty much had to become friends with me and he be friends with her husband and be couples friends. We've all hung out a couple times, but it seemed super awkward and kinda forced. I've talked to
my husband about it and I know there's nothing going on, but it just pisses me off that she thinks that's okay. I'm pretty sure she'd hate it if I started messaging her husband.
@AfKash Yuuuuup. They were so awesome the entire 5 years we've lived there, especially with stuff breaking just from being an old place...then this. It's shady and inappropriate to charge us for the foundation settling. Plus there were repairs for other cracks long before we moved in. Just part of the charm for the old place, which we knew, and chose the loft because it had tons of character. They can suck it, seriously.
Deposit rulings are often very PRO-TENANT, and if you can prove you didn't damage the items they're claiming, you may be able to get part of your deposit back. I'm not a lawyer, just an idea!
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't like this. I have male friends who aren't friends with my husband, and he has MANY female friends that I've only met a few times in passing. His best friend in the entire world is a woman I've only met once. I know there's nothing going on, they are just friends, and that's fine. He doesn't have to be friends with my friends and I don't have to be friends with his. We do have mutual friends, but not exclusively.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
I'm on the fence about fighting them on all of it. Out of principle, yes of course! But after the packing/moving/unpacking/cleaning the apt/etc my Dr is threatening bedrest again. A huge part of me just wants to wash my hands of it and move forward, but thats a heck of a lot of money just to shrug off. I guess I'll see in 30 days when they're mandated to send me the itemized report if there's anything that would be easy to fight
I think, for me, it would be a gut check question-- do I trust Hubs enough to be friends with this person if they try to start an emotional affair (or physical). if no, why not? And I'd have to ask my husband if he was willing to have a friend that may undermine our relationship. if yes, why?
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
I mean it's not like she's trying to get him alonee or something. They bonded and formed a friendship, she made the effort to meet you and her husband was included, I guess I don't see what the problem is.
Honestly, you seem jealous.
@blush64 that was well said. You are right that it is their prerogative, and if everyone's happy, then more power to them.
I just personally don't like it, like @gingersnap said, it came across as jealous to me. But, that's just me. I don't mean to offend anyone.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!